My Gf has refused to see me for 7 months and despite the fact she is pregnant. What can I do?
Q. Hi! I haven't seen my girlfriend in over 7 months.. she has autism, bipolar and also cancer so she is pretty sick at most of the times, we also have a baby on the way and I love her but I don't know what to do as I'm always worried about he...
A. 21 September 2014: Well if she is BOTH pregnant and having cancer then yes, I get that she might be VERY tired. But Like Auntie BimBim asked how come she decided to have a child if she has cancer? You can't treat the cancer while pregnant but pregnancy doesn't stop ... (read in full...)
He throws the word pregnant at me umpteen times......
Q. Dear Aunts, There is a guy who I like and who likes me but we are just friends. He shares his dreams, his personal goals and encourages me to try to get the best in life. However lately, he has mentioned that he would like to have kids when he is ...
A. 21 September 2014: As long as you know WHAT you want and stick to your plan, and if he KEEPs bringing up babies, just tell him :" good luck with that. I'm not having any babies til I'm good and ready."
Or just keep changing the subject.... (read in full...)
Significant other and friends of opposite sex--should they limit their contact?
Q. I'm really curious on what others have to say about this. Here's the thing: Before you and your significant other began dating, they had a co-worker/friend of the opposite sex. It was platonic, but they hung out a lot. After beginning your rela...
A. 20 September 2014: If the "friend" was kept separate from ME (the partner) and all outing were about THEM two, then yes, I would not be OK with it. If the friend was INCLUDED in (some of) OUR outings, and I was (occasionally, doesn't HAVE to be every outing) included ... (read in full...)
It makes me feel guilty that my boyfriend does things for me
Q. My boyfriend enjoys doing things for me so much that i tend to feel guilty. We met over a year ago. He buys me things, gives me money, lets me decorate his house use his car. Im 43, hes 34... hes so easy going, happy at his job, i havent seen him ...
A. 20 September 2014: Thank him. EVERY time.
Read... 5 Languages of Love.
Basically, according to the author Gary Chapman, humans (usually) fall into one or more "languages" of HOW they SHOW love and how they like to receive love. They are gifts, quality time, wo... (read in full...)
Three dates later, I think he's lost interest. Should I text him or wait?
Q. I went on three dates with a guy who I really like and who seemed to like me as well but this most recent date was a week ago, and we went out then I ended up sleeping at his place. We didn't have sex and he wasn't pressuring me to, we just fooled ...
A. 20 September 2014: You slept over and he was respectful and then turns around and stops talk to you?
Honestly, I'd say he is NOT that into you. Maybe that is WHY he held back when you spend the night. Because he had figured out that he wasn't as interested in you a... (read in full...)
What is the difference (for you guys) if she swallows?
Q. Guys, can you explain this to me? Is it important to you that when a woman goes down on you, she lets you cum in her mouth and swallows it? What is the difference if she doesn't swallow? Is that a mind thing or something physical? A male friend once ...
A. 20 September 2014: I think (I can't really speak for men though) that swallowing means you are COMFORTABLE with ALL of him (even his gunk) - that you find sex natural and sees swallowing as part of it. Some women sees it as a turn on, some even as a power thing (not ... (read in full...)
Ever since the abortion I haven't been interested in sex
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. After the first year I accidentally got pregnant and had an abortion, at the aame time suffering depression. Since then, I haven't been able to have sex with my boyfriend/the amount we ...
A. 20 September 2014: I think that is actually a VERY normal reaction. YOU (in your mind) associate SEX with the trauma you went through with the abortion. For you SEX = pregnancy = scary = trauma. So no wonder you libido is struggling.
1. I would suggest you seek som... (read in full...)
Unhappy and depressed -- how do I help myself?
Q. I have never felt this way before until now. I'm 21 and l have a 3 year old daughter. For the past few months I have been very unhappy with my llife. I have no friends at all my life consists of going to school or staying home. I have no one to talk ...
A. 20 September 2014: I can't improve on what Cindy said, it's perfection in advice-form.
ONLY you can change your life. Start with ONE thing at a time. Focus on that. Set GOALS you can actually reach.
Like finding a job.
- EVERY state has a place where you can ... (read in full...)
He throws the word pregnant at me umpteen times......
Q. Dear Aunts, There is a guy who I like and who likes me but we are just friends. He shares his dreams, his personal goals and encourages me to try to get the best in life. However lately, he has mentioned that he would like to have kids when he is ...
A. 20 September 2014: Guys can get broody too. And he seems VERY keen on babies, but like YouWish said, I think it's more him trying to use power of suggestion to GET INTO your pants.
Whether HE wants a kid or a kid with you is IRRELEVANT! If you don't LOVE him and ... (read in full...)
I love him and we've been together 5 years. But how can I convince him to erase his recent tattoo?
Q. l been with my boyfriend for 5 years and our relationship was great. We are the same age. He loves me so much and serious about our relationship. He would do anything to make me happy. But now he has changed. Its because of me too. Its my fault. I...
A. 20 September 2014: Do you know why people get tattoos?
For the most part people who get a tattoo (or 20) do it FOR THEMSELVES. Because it gives them a sense of joy, pride, a sense of self (this is who I am) and some use them to get a sense of closure, or to deal wit... (read in full...)
One month LDR, and one of my best friends does not like him. Does that matter? Was it wrong for me to have words with her?
Q. Hello fellow cupid readers, sorry a bit of background is needed for this. i am in an ldr with my bf of 1 month but we have been incredibly close friends since we were two and we are both now fifteen even though i only see him like four times a year...
A. 20 September 2014: Would you date him if YOU didn't think he treated you right? My guess is no.
YOUR friend is ENTITLED to her opinion, but it doesn't mean she is RIGHT about him.
You guys are 15. Which mean you have no or very little relationship exp... (read in full...)
Why is this guy being rude to me? He can be nice to others, why not me?
Q. Ok so im a quiet type of girl until i know the person. There is this guy in our school. During the first day of our class he was sitting with another girl as there was no other place left. I was sitting behind them with my friend. Later that d...
A. 20 September 2014: Ask to move seat away from him. The guy is a bully. AND YOU're the one getting in trouble OVER him.
Just ask for another seat.
He sounds like an immature clown.... (read in full...)
I'm over my ex, but I feel emotional about his new baby with another woman
Q. Hi I will try to condense a long complex story .I split with my sons dad three and a half years ago .it was a painful and messy split .we had a very intense 5 years together where we were either deeply in love of fighting. We were over the moon when ...
A. 20 September 2014: I think it's a little natural for you to have mixed feelings about the new baby and the new marriage.
BUT this is not something you can change or that will be BAD for you or your son. It's a new little life.
You son won't be sad about the ba... (read in full...)
He likes me or not? He still have feelings for his ex? So confused.
Q. Here is a guy at my class that I think he likes me. He does tease me sometimes and stuff and gives me some signs that he likes me. Well he once asked for my friend to move so he would sit next to me. Sometimes he tries to make me jealous so he flirt ...
A. 19 September 2014: Honestly, why would you even WANT this guy to be interested?
Flirting with your friend to make you jealous? seriously, that is attractive?
Or stalking your conversations and trying to control who you talk to?
And talking about his ex, us... (read in full...)
Should I tell my g/f of 6 years about my drunk mistake?
Q. Help I got drunk I usually can control myself but this time I had a slight interest in another girl got drunk we got a little handsie immediately after I was and am ashamed of myself but I put a stop to further action ive been in a relationship for ...
A. 19 September 2014: I agree with YouWish
What exactly is "a little handsie"?... (read in full...)
He likes me as a colleague but I don't know about more
Q. A male co worker and I get on really well at work. I just feel this chemistry with him I've not felt before. I can't work him out though, he always nice to me, has a joke with me asks me to do things for him. He asks me a lot about myself. He's ...
A. 19 September 2014: Eh, I so advise against office-romance - because the old saying "don't crap where you eat", REALLY does ring true. The workplace is where you WORK, it should be a professional atmosphere, not a place to hook up or look for dates.
A little banter i... (read in full...)
He broke the engagement by accusing me of cheating
Q. I am so unhappy! My boyfriend asked me to get engaged, for which i was over the moon and Said "yes" this lasted 6 weeks then he accused me of cheating. He has always accused me of this untruths for which iv always got back with him and reassured ...
A. 19 September 2014: I would be honest with him. :"I can't see you any more because you keep accusing me of things I never did and never will do, YOU (him) need to focus on getting yourself sorted out, I can't "fix" you - I wish all the best and please don't contact me ... (read in full...)
Did I really love him? We are now divorcing. Why don't I feel worse? I'm not crying over this breakup.
Q. 6 months ago I thought I married my best friend and love of my life. We were together for 3 years, lived together for the last 2. It was practically love at first sight! We waited to have sex for the first time. Even our first kiss took time, li...
A. 19 September 2014: I think you are numb. I think that is why you can't feel a thing right now. You are without doubt blaming yourself a little too for not knowing HE was this guy too.
I don't think the marriage changed the guy, I think THIS is who is really is. Why ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want kids, but I don't yet know whether I do or not
Q. My boyfriend is a dad of a two year old who he had with another girl. We have been dating a little less than two years now. He has always seemed ambivalent about having another kid at some point in his life and that was ok with me because I'm not ...
A. 18 September 2014: If you aren't sure about kids or no kids yet, I don't see what the problem is. HOWEVER, IF you decide to have a change of heart, YOU are going to have to ACCEPT that he won't change his mind.
... (read in full...)
I found the guy I have dance class on facebook. I like him, should I add him?
Q. Hello, For six months ago I sometimes saw a guy on a dance class. And during the summer I saw this guy in a zumba lesson somewhere else. I always go to a group training zumba. I stay always in the front and this guy always stays beside me, but...
A. 18 September 2014: IF you contact him on Facebook you don't think he will GUESS that you MUST have looking high and low to find him because YOU like him? OR at least because you are interested? It think it would be JUST a little OBVIOUS that you are interested.
... (read in full...)
I want the freedom to test the waters but my ex won't let go
Q. Hello, I am a freshman at college in my third week and I broke up with my bf at the start. He loves me soo much but almost too much. He also now lives two hrs away. I need a real and tangible relationship, not just skype dates. But at the same time ...
A. 18 September 2014: Pretty much what Cindy said.
If he is your EX, he has NO say in what you do and with whom, YOU LET him try and dictate your life and it makes me wonder why. To keep him as a spare? In case your "adventure" with other guys doesn't work out? Bec... (read in full...)
His being late makes me feel disrespected
Q. I have been dating a guy for about 2 months. He was on-time our first date but almost every time after that he is late. I am not talking 15 mins late. I am talking an hour! There have been times when he had decent reason for being late and I just ...
A. 18 September 2014: Yeah NOT letting you know that he is going to be late (let's say he had more work than anticipated) IS RUDE. To not even CONSIDER letting you know TILL you text him, hey are you on the way, are we still on? And then get "pissy" when you are NOT OK ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went out with a female coworker and I didn't like it. Should I go out with a male to see how he likes it?
Q. Last night my boyfriend told me that he had a super nice dinner with a co-worker/friend because they were leaving. He then told me how the waiter thought they were engaged and he laughed and told me how he said no. Wait what? The friend was a gir...
A. 18 September 2014: I don't see that a dinner with a co-worker of the opposite gender means cheating automatically.
Going out to dinner with a friend (male OR female) should not be such a big deal.
YOU BF is NOt your ex, and quite frankly it's petty and unfair... (read in full...)
What would you do at work with the person who broke your trust?
Q. I got played but now its about how to finally move on. I liked a guy for two years at work who honestly i thought and felt , felt the same. The other day going to a friend wedding i over heard to people we know basically sl agging me off sayin...
A. 17 September 2014: So your crush didn't like you back, IT HAPPENS - doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
The fact that he is talking crap about you to others is a bad sign and rather unprofessional of him.
My advice if anyone comes up and tells you he said this or tha... (read in full...)
I thought I hit it off well with online guy but then he stopped texting. I'd like to know why!
Q. I met this guy online. We totally hit it off. I am extremely attracted to him. We communicated through text. Then all of a sudden he stop texting me. When we were texting he was working so sometimes He took awhile to respond and sometimes I took ...
A. 17 September 2014: I think it's a case of greener grass. The guy might have been chatting to more girls than you and if he met up with one of the others he might have decided to give HER a try. And instead of letting you know, he is just not talking to you anymore, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has overly attached bromance...what do I do?
Q. Hello everyone hope someone out there can give me some help on this issue i have. I recently started dating a guy who is wonderful andi really do like him. We only see each other about once a week because i work and he lives about half an hour away ...
A. 17 September 2014: I'm sorry that would not be OK for me. I could NOT date a guy who cancels ALREADY made plans with me, because he BFF is pouting. OH heck no!
I wouldn't date this guy, sorry. This is only the start. You have seen the tip of the iceberg with thi... (read in full...)
Was he insinuating he is not happy with his significant other?
Q. I was talking to a man I know, and somewhere in the conversation he said his significant other always finds ways to comment on stuff and can't be quiet on any topic....she always has something to say. He laughed nervously but quietly while saying ...
A. 17 September 2014: I think it means SHE is more vocal than HIM. That is all. If she is "known" to be a "loud mouth" then he was just stating fact. Nothing in what you write implies that he is unhappy with her.
... (read in full...)
Is is possible for a married woman to turn into a lesbian?
Q. I am married for 7 years. Lately I shared some lesbian porn with my wife and my wife found out that it really turns me on. My wife after a day or two asks me if I would want her to become a lesbian, but with a condition that once she gets into girls ...
A. 17 September 2014: Um, no. People don't snap their fingers and then becomes a lesbian, or gay or straight.
If she wants women as well as you, she might be bi-curious - which means she COULD be a bisexual and CURIOUS about sex with a woman.
But if YOU have pleased... (read in full...)
She seems to be hung up on her ex, what should I do
Q. Ok me and my girlfriend have been together just over a year now but have had numerous arguements over her ex. She was with him for amany year....16 in fact yet chose not to marry or have children. They still have regular contact n see one another ...
A. 17 September 2014: I think because of the 16 years together she wants to keep him in her life, no matter what. That means no matter what YOU think or feel about it.
I'd say that someone who holds onto and meets up with and ex once a week, isn't over the ex. The fact... (read in full...)
Is my personal trainer interested?
Q. Hello, Today was my third work out with my personal trainer, I didnt know this personal trainer since before. Last week on the second work out I saw him tickle his sensitve area a little now and then. I pretented to not see him dong it...
A. 17 September 2014: Nope, he is doing his job and he knows CHARM is what make the "ladies" come back for more (workouts, that is) And more workouts - more money.
Personal trainers aren't exactly shy people. They are outgoing and upbeat (at least when they are at w... (read in full...)
Hard as I try, I can't see my way to forgive him for his past behaviors
Q. You know, make a list and list the good and bad. The bad. My boyfriend of 4 years has stared at women in front of me, given them the elevator look--up and down, turned around and looked at them or one if we leave an establishment, with me ...
A. 17 September 2014: Here is the biggest problem with his behavior.
YOU.
And I don't mean that in an offensive way. BUT when you "pretend" his behavior doesn't bother you to keep the please or "please" him, or not seem controlling - whatever reason... YOU ar... (read in full...)
My gut is telling me something is up!
Q. Ive been noticing some weird behavior from my fience. Hes always kept his phone with him but just recently he put a lock on it when I asked him he said his president (of his club) said he either needed to get a new number or put on lock on his ...
A. 17 September 2014: You don't HAVE to see his phone to know something is up or to ask him WTF is happening. YOU know him well enough (I presume) to see how he reacts and can read his body language.
And I think you might want to re-consider the engagement for now. You... (read in full...)
Why would an apparently happily married person claim that they are in a "complicated" relationship?
Q. When somebody puts on facebook that they are in a complicated relationship, but they still live together, go to family gatherings together. What does it really mean? Obviously they are still going out as couple but is it that they are having p...
A. 17 September 2014: Does it matter? They are STILL married and STILL doing things together.
And... IT IS FACEBOOK! Whenever I see someone put "complicated" as a status I think DRAMA QUEENS Or ATTENTION MONGERS! It's a LOOK at me!! kind of statement.
Marriage (lik... (read in full...)
My gut is telling me something is up!
Q. Ive been noticing some weird behavior from my fience. Hes always kept his phone with him but just recently he put a lock on it when I asked him he said his president (of his club) said he either needed to get a new number or put on lock on his ...
A. 16 September 2014: Though I kind of doubt he would tell you the truth, I would simply ask him what's up with the protecting his phone from YOU the way he is. How it makes you think and feel something is really off.
The whole president of his club told him to do it... (read in full...)
Why does he get angry when I question him about a girl I know has a thing for him?
Q. Hi everyone! I would like some opinions on this! Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years, we did take a 7 week break over the Christmas period due to personal issues. In that 7 week period I was introduced to a friend of a friend,...
A. 16 September 2014: He gets angry because he can read between the lines. He knows you are questioning him, because you think something happened and you don't fully trust him. I don't think he is covering for her. I think he believes whatever she did wasn't a big deal, ... (read in full...)
Is the older guy I've been seeing really even into me? (a little explicit)
Q. Hi everyone! So I have been seeing a new guy for about two months that I met online. He is pretty awesome, has a great personality, and is very handsome. He is about 15 years my senior (I am of legal age, 21), never married and has no kids. He ...
A. 16 September 2014:
Before I answer your questions, can I just say.. USE a CONDOM every time. And BOTH of you go get tested for STD's. You are letting a guy you BARELY know (2 months) ejaculate inside you without really knowing his past sexual history?
Why not b... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to tell my now-ex that I was in love with him when we were dating?
Q. I'm looking for people's opinions about telling an ex that I was in love with him while we were dating. We broke up just under 2 years ago. We are not in regular contact. He told me that he was in love with me 2 months into the relationship and...
A. 16 September 2014: No, I don't think there is any point to it. You two are over, you don't even talk.
2 years later you want closure, so you want to tell him?
I don't see the point. There are so many ways people can express love, other than saying it. Like ... (read in full...)
I'm truly in love with my boyfriend, but he wants to join the RAF
Q. I'm truly in love with my boyfriend, but he wants to join the RAF. This means we won't be able to live together, or spend time together for long periods and I hate feeling worried and upset about it, when it's his dream. I know it worries him too....
A. 16 September 2014: I agree with you not wanting to hold him back from his dreams. He would resent you for it down the line. As for you not being able to understand how he can have a dream that doesn't include you or put you first? Well, some dream are purely personal. ... (read in full...)
My B/f knows that I have a history of depression and yet he's broken up with me, blocked me in every form and now I cant move on
Q. I was with my boyfriend for two years until he decided that he couldn't be with me anymore. I have a history of depression and I think I was wearing him down. He said it's over and to him it's been over for ages before he actually said it was ...
A. 16 September 2014: Blocking you is what was right for him, it may not sit well with you, but he has to put himself first.
A relationship can't and won't work if only one person wants it to continue.
If depression has rules you (and in that sense your relationshi... (read in full...)
Will this change with time, or am I not cut out for long-term relationships?
Q. I can't stand the idea of being in a long term relationship. I like people, but not for long periods of time, I find that I need to surround myself with new faces at a constant basis. This has been going fine for me, but after dating a guy for...
A. 16 September 2014: If you are indeed 16-17 I think the idea of LONG TERM might be a little unrealistic. Though some teens meet their life partner, it's rare that it works out.
But for you to start having arguments after only dating a few weeks seems like you just... (read in full...)
I can't depend on him and I can't manage another baby
Q. Hello everyone, I feel like I am in terrible dilemma. I think I'm pregnant, in fact I'm certain I am (test tomorrow) I have a 13 month old baby and am still with my partner but we're living apart at the moment. The past year has been very st...
A. 16 September 2014: First relax. You don't need to make any decision til you know for a FACT that you are pregnant.
So take the test and THEN decide.
It would be EASY for him to say, no you HAVE to have the baby. Especially if he isn't providing financial, emoti... (read in full...)
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