Are these red flags? I'm nervous because of my past abusive relationship
Q. Hello! I was previously in an abusive relationship, that ended around 4 years ago. I am now in a new relationship, and we've been together for 3 months. Because of my past abusive relationship I am now very cautious of "red flags", and I find some ...
A. 5 November 2014: He snooped through your computer 3 months into the relationship? NOW that is a HUGE red flag in my book.
Hope all is well with you.... (read in full...)
What does it mean when he says I am his "guilty pleasure"?
Q. What does it mean if a man tells you your his guilty pleasure? What would it mean to you if you were to say this to someone or someone was to say this to you? How would you translate this in your inner world? Personally, humorous, passing c...
A. 5 November 2014: I think that sentence can be interpreted in SO many ways, depending on WHO said it and why (and why).
You ask:
*** How would you translate this in your inner world? Personally, humorous, passing comment, serious.**
Personally, well ... (read in full...)
It looked promising then he dropped out of the text convo
Q. Met a nice boy at concert over weekend. We didn't get a lot of time to talk because shows were loud but he gave me his cell and took a pic of us at the stage. I did feel like he wanted to get closer fast. Tried to kiss me and that wasn't something I ...
A. 5 November 2014: I agree pretty much with EVERYTHING SVC mentioned.
He DROPPED the text convo because something else came up he rather do. The BALL is in his court.
However, I would not really have high expectations for this to go anywhere. ... (read in full...)
I think I'm being manipulated!
Q. I think I'm being manipulated. My husband's best friend is getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage. His wife was always cold with us. Their visits got rarer and rarer to the point that she stopped coming all together and he visited us alone...
A. 5 November 2014: I would tell my husband, because that is just so darn strange. And yes, I would feel a loyalty towards my OWN husband and her HUSBAND, not her.
After that I would block/delete her. I don't think she is doing all this to be your friend. I think sh... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much from my husband?
Q. I feel that I give more than I get. I feel that my husband hasn't got a clue what love really is... We've been together for almost 15 years. We met when I was 25 and he 27. In a way we grew up together. All the major life decisions (and efforts)...
A. 5 November 2014: So part of you reluctance to say no stems in fear of him going off on you. Maybe not 100% consciously, but it's there. It's a "I better do it or I'll have to deal with him yelling and being an ass to me" attitude. I have a husband with PTSD, if he ... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much from my husband?
Q. I feel that I give more than I get. I feel that my husband hasn't got a clue what love really is... We've been together for almost 15 years. We met when I was 25 and he 27. In a way we grew up together. All the major life decisions (and efforts)...
A. 5 November 2014: If you have already expressed how you feel about it, and nothing happens you will have to try a different approach.
Maybe after 15 years your husband is just taking you for granted. The marriage has "worked" a certain way for so long and it suits... (read in full...)
Should I support my husband in reviving a friendship with his ex?
Q. Married a year and this is both our second marriages. I don't have a relationship with my ex other than child related conversations over the phone. My husbands ex is one of his oldest friends. During our courtship she was rude,intrusive and very ...
A. 5 November 2014: If he doesn't feel a HUGE need to have her in his life, I would not encourage it. Some women don't give a fly's fart about other people's marriage. And if she was as disrespectful before you married I seriously doubt she will change.
I would in... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable when my girlfriend invites over her male friend for a movie night alone at her place?
Q. My 2 1\2 years long distance girlfriend told me today a male friend from college is going to watch a movie tomorrow night at her place so she can not see me on skype (we do it every night) she says that the time is not convinient to her (10 pm not ...
A. 5 November 2014: She seems kind of immature to be honest. While I DO NOT see anything wrong in having male friends, IF she was only looking for friendship from them, but she isn't. She is playing games. And maybe because it's a LDR it's out of sight out of mind for ... (read in full...)
I'm bitter about my rich ex-husband, while I don't have much money. Will karma get him?
Q. I don't wish anything really bad to happen to my ex-husband, but some Kharma would be nice... My ex and I divorced about two years ago. He was not a good husband-treated me very badly and basically walked out on our son and I when he decided he wa...
A. 4 November 2014: I have to say being bitter does NOTHING for you, your child or your future. It just makes you bitter.
FIND things that makes YOU happy. ENJOY the fact that YOU have the child and YOU will be your child's BIGGEST and (hopefully) most POSITIVE inf... (read in full...)
What does the word 'cute' mean to guys? To me, it means 'ugly but acceptable'!
Q. Dear Auntz Me and my new boyfriend started dating a week ago and he keeps saying that im cute! I have always told myself that i will never date any guy that thinks i am cute, but here i am. I wish he would use the word beautiful instea...
A. 4 November 2014: Cute is a POSITIVE word. It's adorable + pretty + funny = cute.
In my book. I'd rather be called cute, then pretty. Because pretty is mainly about the PHYSICAL APPEARANCE whereas cute is about looks AND personality.
Maybe for you cute is like... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable when my girlfriend invites over her male friend for a movie night alone at her place?
Q. My 2 1\2 years long distance girlfriend told me today a male friend from college is going to watch a movie tomorrow night at her place so she can not see me on skype (we do it every night) she says that the time is not convinient to her (10 pm not ...
A. 4 November 2014: You write:
***afraid she put herselfin those situations because she enjoys the attention from other males regardless she is in a loving relationship and that makes me very sad and insecure.***
Why NOT have a conversation about that? Instead of t... (read in full...)
I want to talk about things with my ex but this could jeopardize my current relationship, what should I do?
Q. My wife left me over 20 years ago and took my children with her. This all happened while I was out at work one day and I've never really come to terms with it. I think I understand why she did it, but her actions were too drastic and I feel we could ...
A. 4 November 2014: I honestly think that you are 20 years too late for the whole "talking things through".
She is still married to the second husband? If so, then you BOTH have chosen NEW partners and should have some respect for these people.
I can see why your... (read in full...)
I'm falling for a wrong guy again, am I stupid?
Q. hello there. my name is Anna. I have a good guy friend. I never thought of falling for him. But i think now i do. Recently he graduated for his bachelor degree. A week before, he asked me to come to his graduation ceremony even for minutes and ...
A. 4 November 2014: He tells you to BUY flowers and a gift to come to his graduation? Seriously?
IF he cared a fly's fart about you he would have said I would LOVE for you to be there, here is the time and place. Not tell you BUY me flowers and BUY me a gift and come... (read in full...)
Are these red flags? I'm nervous because of my past abusive relationship
Q. Hello! I was previously in an abusive relationship, that ended around 4 years ago. I am now in a new relationship, and we've been together for 3 months. Because of my past abusive relationship I am now very cautious of "red flags", and I find some ...
A. 4 November 2014: If you FEEL the things he has done so far is NOT OK, walk away.
NONE of us can really decide that for you. YOU will have to trust your gut.
For me it WOULD be a no-no for a guy to snap at me, and then later apologize, OVER AND OVER. Because I ... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable when my girlfriend invites over her male friend for a movie night alone at her place?
Q. My 2 1\2 years long distance girlfriend told me today a male friend from college is going to watch a movie tomorrow night at her place so she can not see me on skype (we do it every night) she says that the time is not convinient to her (10 pm not ...
A. 4 November 2014: There has to be a little trust in a relationship too. YOU will have to TRUST that she KNOWS what is OK and what is not. Now if this guy didn't know about you, or saw her as MORE then a friend, I'd worry. But if they are just friends it is quite ... (read in full...)
I didn't tell my b/f about my past and he found out from someone else. Now he wants me out of his life!
Q. I wanted to tell my new boyfriend about my past but did not know if i should tell him or that he would not want to know about my past or when was the best time to tell him and had thought about telling him as i know a guy that works for him that ...
A. 4 November 2014:
For some, dating a married guy is a no-no. I think it just comes down to values and morals. And if nothing happened I can't see why you should have had to lay out your whole past for a BF's approval.
Go get your stuff and find a LESS judgmen... (read in full...)
I want to get married at Disney World but he doesn't
Q. I got engaged a few month ago and need some help. Since I was 10 I said I was going to get married at Disneyworld and I've never changed my mind. My fiance wants a big wedding here. I don't!! All we do I argue over it because I want to go to ...
A. 4 November 2014: A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States + ?, writes (2 November 2014):
Why don't you get married here and have your honeymoon at Disney?
I totally agree with this - HONEYMOON in Disney Land!
... (read in full...)
Should I give him permission to go out dancing while I go to sleep? Or will it lead him to cheat?
Q. My husband and I are on a 2 week cruise. I do not like to dance but my husband does. Every time we are on a trip, he goes to dance. Is it okay for him to go to the disco on the ship once or twice to dance? Seeing that he likes it and I do...
A. 4 November 2014: Why not?
Has he cheated before? Do you not trust him?
Are you his wife or his mother? ?Now that might sound rude but you are BOTH two grown up and HE should be ABLE to go dance without cheating. However, If you really FEAR that dancing wil... (read in full...)
Are these red flags? I'm nervous because of my past abusive relationship
Q. Hello! I was previously in an abusive relationship, that ended around 4 years ago. I am now in a new relationship, and we've been together for 3 months. Because of my past abusive relationship I am now very cautious of "red flags", and I find some ...
A. 3 November 2014: I think the "snapping" is unacceptable, for the most part.
BUT, I do agree that "playing games" for free drinks is not appropriate for a woman who is dating someone. I find it tacky. Even if you were single, I'd still find it tacky. YET calling ... (read in full...)
How can I erase what I've done and become friends with this girl?
Q. ok so were the 1st 9 weeks into school and have developed unexpressed feelings for the new girl. she is very pretty and shy!!! now that u know a bit lets start from the beginning of the year i talked alot of crap on the other guys because im the ...
A. 3 November 2014: You can't ERASE what you have done, but you CAN show her that you have changed and maybe matured a little.
Every actions created a REACTION and ever ACTION has consequences.
But instead of trying to be someone you really aren't why not figure o... (read in full...)
I think my one night stand recorded me with his phone! What should I do?
Q. Hi dearcupid, i had a one nightstand on Saturday night with a guy i know a little bit. I've had my heart broken recently and i wanted a bit of fun to b honest. So, we went back to my place sat night but we were both quite drunk. The thing is, the ...
A. 3 November 2014: Not much you CAN do now, I think. If you noticed the phone the first time, WHY didn't you stop and ask him WTF was going on? I mean WHAT kind of guy is on the phone while getting a BJ? Seriously?
How ever I did google this:
http://www.da... (read in full...)
I want to move back to my own country, but can't tell my boyfriend about it or he will kick me out! What should I do?
Q. I moved to a different country to be near family 4 years ago and i met a guy who helped me through some tough times. The problem is i was happy with the move at first but then i started getting sick of it. Fast forward four years - i havent been ...
A. 3 November 2014: I would go home ASAP - if you have family that can help you with a ticket, I'd take that help and GET HOME.
It seems like you two are done. And while I get that you rather stick it out with him till you can afford going home, it SURE beats be... (read in full...)
Does my ex miss me or is he just trying to be friends?
Q. My ex and I broke up in march. he jumped straight into a relationship with a new girl a few weeks later and not long later she moved in with him, everything happened so quickly it destroyed me as we have been through a lot in the 6 years we have ...
A. 3 November 2014: It's hard to say.
BUT my advice is this, keep it civil and don't get your hopes up that he wants to come back.
I would honestly avoid these long "memory lane conversations". Because you wouldn't be the first woman to get into a FWB relationship... (read in full...)
How would you react to her suspicious behaviour?
Q. Ok I will try to keep this as short and to the point as possible. A few weeks back my girlfriend sent me a nude pic of herself in the shower on WhatsApp messenger, though I appreciated the pic, I told her I don't really like using whatsapp because I ...
A. 3 November 2014: Well, lashing out at your MOM would be the proverbial drop for me. Telling YOUR mom that she was moving ON with someone else already? What?
Yeah, your (now ex) GF is shady. And I would arrange a day to come pick up the stuff from her place as... (read in full...)
What's going on with my B/f? Is he gay? What was he setting up the video camera for?
Q. Over the 10 years or so I've been with my boyfriend he has continuously used porn. Until recently I thought only straight porn. He now confesses to occasionally watching gay porn. Also sending videos and naked pictures on a gay site. He only ...
A. 3 November 2014: Whether he set up the camera to film himself OR your daughter is in a way irellevant. The thing is HE could have filmed YOUR daughter, and it would BE without her consent + her being under age. EVEN if that was a mistake, it's a ridiculous one to ... (read in full...)
Co-worker has changed, have I done something wrong?
Q. I started a new job and my male co-worker is training me. We would laugh about stuff at work and he would laugh at things that I said. He would check-in when I was working and see how I was doing. I dressed up nicely a few times (because I was meet...
A. 3 November 2014: Maybe he developed a little crush on you and knowing THAT is not a good thing he is backing off.
But like Denizen said... why not just ask him if the two of you are OK. And then let him have his space.... (read in full...)
How would you react to her suspicious behaviour?
Q. Ok I will try to keep this as short and to the point as possible. A few weeks back my girlfriend sent me a nude pic of herself in the shower on WhatsApp messenger, though I appreciated the pic, I told her I don't really like using whatsapp because I ...
A. 3 November 2014: TRY making a Fake Facebook and do a search for her. IF it shows up, then you know she is lying her pants off.
My guess is, SHE DID send that guy some naughty pics. She had hoped he wouldn't tell anyone. That she could USE him for a ego boost or... (read in full...)
How much am I entitled to know?
Q. How much asking about a bf's friends is too much? Do you stop asking once he says "I'm going out with a friend/friends? Or is it ok to ask what else they'd be doing? Or ask if who the friends are. Just curious. Many thanks for your replies...
A. 3 November 2014: Have you not MET any of his friends yet? If not maybe it would be a good start.
I agree with Chigirl - you are not ENTITLED (as you put it) to an itinerary or give him a 4rd degree questioning.
But I find it a little odd if he doesn't tell you... (read in full...)
Should I go off the pill now or wait and make an announcement?
Q. My partner and I both want kids, he is of the mind set that he doesn't want to TRY and conceive, he would like it to just ... Happen . Without too much stress. He would be happy if I turned around tomorrow and told him I was pregnant. A little bit ...
A. 3 November 2014: Definitely tell him first.
It took me 12 months (almost to the day) from stopping the pill till I got pregnant. But I have heard others who managed at the next cycle after ending the pills.... (read in full...)
Telling my lover about an old sexual experience with someone else?
Q. Should I tell my partner my sexual experiences from the past? I know normally it's reallt up to the person to decide to do what they feel is right and comfortable. Normally I'm pretty open about my experiences and wouldn't mind sharing but the ...
A. 3 November 2014: I agree with Ciar.
Don't go there. You do NOT OWE your BF a detailed description of some dumb mistake from your past.
If the GUY brings it up to your BF I'd admit to doing it and tell him it was a mistake - WE ALL make those.... (read in full...)
Normal for boyfriend to watch shemale porn ?
Q. I recently discovered on my boyfriends computer history that he has been watching shemale porn. To be honest I'm very disturbed by it , it had like ladyboy asain boys and guys with girls too but the girls wore strap ons. He had other porn like teen ...
A. 2 November 2014: I don't know who exactly watches She-male porn and why. I think there is a lot of area of porn that doesn't cater to JUST one type of audience.
I DO think that MEN who watches She-male porn are bi-curious at least, but perhaps not so curious ... (read in full...)
Was my cousin flirting with me? Why deny it? Then he called me delusional
Q. I would really appreciate your help. I met some cousins of mine I didn't know I had for the first time a year ago. I got on best with the youngest , lets call him M , being the more sociable of the bunch, and we had a bbq and played outdoor g...
A. 2 November 2014: You have posted this question 3 or 4 times and gotten roughly the same answers.
I'm not sure if you are even looking for "help" or just plain obsessing over a DRUNKEN FLIRT YOU are a MARRIED lady, he flirted with you while drunk and then reconsid... (read in full...)
My g/f confided that she is bisexual and now I'm afraid she'll leave me for a woman
Q. My girl and I have been dating for about 3 months. I have never had such great feelings for anyone before. Shes just amazing and i feel lucky to have her. But anyway, everything was going well until a few weeks ago when she came out that she was ...
A. 2 November 2014: It would be the same for her to fear you will leave her for another woman.
Here is the deal with bi-sexuals. THEY can be HAPPY with either gender. GENDER is not THE most important thing to them. It's not like if they ARE with a guy, they rather h... (read in full...)
He's broke. I'd like us to live together. But financially I'd have to carry him. Is living with him going to end in tears?
Q. I'm 35 and my boyfriend 33. We've been together 3 years but don't live together. He lives with his parents. I want us to live together but the problem is that he's broke and just finally got a steady job 3 months ago where he makes 3 times less than...
A. 1 November 2014: Nope. It makes YOU feel uncomfortable, that is your GUT saying not a good idea right now.
I wouldn't do it. It will COST you more than the $400 he is "willing" to give to have him stay there. He needs to sort himself out financially before y... (read in full...)
Do guys go to bars and clubs only to get laid?
Q. Is it true that guys go to bars and clubs only to get laid? I just talked to a guy, a friend, and he said that the only reason he goes out is to get laid that night. He said, it's the cheapest way to have sex when he wants it and the fastest,...
A. 1 November 2014: Some guys are like that. Yes. I have had male friends who would "screw" anything with a pulse if they were single. ( I had a female friend who was like that as well) SO it's definitely not just guys.
I do think a some men/women go to bars/clu... (read in full...)
Boyfriend got drunk and didnt come home last night...how do I handle this?
Q. OK so I hope someone can help me. I've been going out with my new boyfriend for about 3,months and he has treated me wonderfully up until now. As it was Halloween I had gone out with my friends while he went out with his. We went out seperatly ad he ...
A. 1 November 2014: I'd back off.
You ask if you "should" be mad. Well, I WOULD be. You have to figure out how you feel about it.
The fact that he hasn't called you I think comes more down to guilt the NOT charging his phone. If he got to his sister's at 2 pm... (read in full...)
How do I stay strong and not go back to the married man I left?
Q. I have ended my relationship with a married man, he said that his wife and him had stopped having sex many years ago and that he wouldn't leave her because it meant he would not be living with his kids anymore so I went.The trouble is he keeps ...
A. 1 November 2014: You cut him out. BLOCK and DELETE his number. IF you can't block it, consider changing your number.
Go out with friends and spend time with family, so you aren't tempted to get back in touch with him because you are lonely or bored.
And las... (read in full...)
What did he mean by "to plant an intention"?
Q. Dear Aunts, I met this guy through a mutual friend. He is smart, funny and very ambitious. He is 27 and is going to uni sometime soon. We both like eachother but I have my head on and I try to weigh any pros or cons before even starting a relat...
A. 1 November 2014: Why not ask? Seems an odd thing to say. Maybe he was trying to be "mysterious" or "fascinating"... I'd ask.... (read in full...)
If he's not happy why doesn't he just leave?
Q. Hi, I'm really new to this site, hopefully you guys can help me with some good advice. I have been with the same man for almost 5 years now and we have a child together who is 4. When I first got with him I was so happy, I fell in...
A. 1 November 2014: Sounds like YOU need to decide if you WANT to continue as the relationship stands OR walk away. BEcause you have TRIED to fix it, you have TRIED to talk and no dice.
You ask why he doesn't just leave? Because as things are he has a maid, housekee... (read in full...)
He hides his phone when he gets a text?
Q. I have recently noticed the app 'Tinder' on my boyfriends mobile the other day, which made me think as this is a dating website and he has no reason to be on there as he is in a relationship. Another thing I have noticed is that whenever he gets a ...
A. 1 November 2014: Tinder is a HOOK up site, not dating. It's for people to find fast and easy F-buddies.
So IF he is on that site, is he looking for something on the side or for sh!ts and grins? Hard to say, but the fact that he hides it from you? Seems pretty s... (read in full...)
How do I get over fighting this feeling like I was wrong for leaving him?
Q. I have been broken up with my ex for a month now. I understand it hurts but am i supposed to feel like i am wrong? We were together 5 full years. Over the years he became unloving to me and made me feel like i was scum under his shoes but for some ...
A. 31 October 2014: I think you are still trying to adjust to your "new" normalcy. It was for YEARS "normal" for you to BE with a guy who didn't really WANT to be with you, who didn't treat you right and now that you HAD THE GOOD SENSE and guts to leave him, your MIND ... (read in full...)
Did I cheat because of how he behaves on line?
Q. i have been in a relationship for 14 years. started dating him at the age of 17 him 27 now aged 31 and him 41. im confused. i cheated on him with a friend of ours. i have seen his facebook over the last couple of years with all porn sites and stuff. ...
A. 31 October 2014: Yes to all that YouWish said.
OWN your actions, be they good or bad.... (read in full...)
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