In love with my friend, do I lay it on the line and ask where I stand?
Q. ok so straight to the point , i have developed feelings for my friend he knows i like him but he hasnt done anything about it(the ball is in his court so to speak) hes been flirty but then reminds the moment we r friends and he shouldnt be as flirty ...
A. 12 November 2014: You say he KNOWS you like him, are you sure he knows to WHAT extend you like him? Have you told him already or just "dropped hints"?
Because IF he already know and have done nothing.... HE isn't into you to the extend of wanting more then friendsh... (read in full...)
My widowed mother is sleeping with a married man.
Q. I am a seventeen year old Indian girl. My father passed away in December 2013. Since February this year my father's best friend, Max, who is a married white man has been visiting us at least twice a week and sleeps over. He is a salesman for a large ...
A. 12 November 2014: I understand why you feel shocked by this. We all have a perception of our parents. I don't agree with cheating AT ALL, but I do think your mom is OLD enough to know what she is doing.
I would NOT assume to tell my parents how to live their li... (read in full...)
I fear my ex is going to die of his drug use!
Q. Hi everyone I just ended a relationship with a guy who was going through a really dark time - he was on drugs, getting involved with lots of shady people, and he became verbally aggressive with me. That was the final nail in the coffin, making m...
A. 12 November 2014: There is nothing wrong in caring about a person who used to mean the world to you. And there is nothing wrong with wanting them to be safe and healthy.
However, when it comes to addiction, YOU can NOT fix this for him. IT has to come from him. HE ... (read in full...)
Do guys need to see women naked?
Q. I find I can do without porn and don't want to support any porn sites. But if I go a long time without atleast seeing naked women, I start feeling bummed out, hollow, empty or dead inside. Is that normal? Could it have something to do with being ...
A. 12 November 2014: I think SVC nailed it.
Men don't NEED to see naked ladies, they WANT to see them. And women likes to enjoy a naked male as well.
It's called desire, lust, curiosity, fantasy fodder.
Personally, though I think it's slightly obsessive thoug... (read in full...)
Naked pictures in a long distance relationship, she wants to see mine but won't show me hers!
Q. I am in a long distance relationship for over a year, yet we have not seen each other in person, but we communicated daily in web cam, phone, facebook, etc. I love her and she says she loves me very much. We have plans to meet soon and we want to ...
A. 12 November 2014: Sorry, OP I have to agree with Sage here.
This is a RIDICULOUS first world problem. You think if you show her YOURS she should show you hers? What are you, 5?
Sending crotch-shots is not a "make or break" a relationship. I would honestly N... (read in full...)
Did I misinterpret her message?
Q. What would you do if you found a message from a female friend who sent "you would be lucky if you were my bf. I don't make you buy me things" to your bf? Fyi I happened to be with him when she texted and saw what she texted, and he allowed me to...
A. 12 November 2014: Like the FIRST anon female mentioned, ALL SHE knows about the relationships is what YOUR BF is telling her. So if she seems to think HE is BUYING you stuff constantly... then she must have gotten that idea SOMEWHERE (hint - your BF). Now it could ... (read in full...)
I found incriminating evidence against boyfriend about cheating but he denies it all. What should I do?
Q. I've been in a two and a half year relationship which began when we were 15/16. We have a wonderful relationship and he treats me incredibly well, we are both respectful and incredibly loving. Faithful and genuine. In the early stages of our rela...
A. 12 November 2014: Cheating is CHEATING. Whether it was physical or not. EMOTIONAL cheating can be JUST as damaging as physical. WHY? Because the "cheater" is spending MORE time and effort charming/wooing/flirting with someone aside from their partner.
You do NOT w... (read in full...)
Did he just hit the ball back into my court? 30 all perhaps?
Q. Hi, any help would be greatly appreciated. Apparently, I’m clueless when it comes to men. I’ve spent my life building my career, that I have failed to learn how to read situations such as this: This past weekend, whilst attending a conference, I ...
A. 11 November 2014: Do you WANT to talk to him again? IF so, why not be the first to contact?
I don think if someone avoid swapping contact details they REALLY aren't so keen to STAY in contact, but maybe that is just me.... (read in full...)
I found incriminating evidence against boyfriend about cheating but he denies it all. What should I do?
Q. I've been in a two and a half year relationship which began when we were 15/16. We have a wonderful relationship and he treats me incredibly well, we are both respectful and incredibly loving. Faithful and genuine. In the early stages of our rela...
A. 11 November 2014: I think it's just all to coincidental that you found all that evidence and his "account must have been hacked"....
If it had been hacked don't you think there would be a LOT more conversations with other girls then the girls he KNEW already?... (read in full...)
I do love my boyfriend but I'm tempted by the other guy
Q. Hi - any help would be appreciated. I am on a total mess. My best girl friend and I went away last year and met a couple of guys. Both of us are in long term relationships but nothing happened with them. We spent a couple of nights out getti...
A. 11 November 2014: I think the fact that you KEPT in contact with this dude #2, you "sort of" fancied, shows a little bit of disrespect for your relationship, and maybe a bit of denial? You KNEW when you met him the first time that you felt an attraction, THAT.... ... (read in full...)
Was my boyfriend jealous of this other guy?
Q. I was at a cooking class with my boyfriend tonight. It is weird but he seems to have an issue with me talking to other men, even when innocent. I was talking to this guy in the class tonight. My boyfriend was talking with another group of pe...
A. 11 November 2014: It could be he was jealous or just rude? I think it shows lack of trust IN YOU, that he don't want you talking to some guy in a cooking class and depending on how it was done - a tad controlling.
Have you talked to him about this?... (read in full...)
Coming out to my mother please help
Q. Okay, so basically I only have one last person (also the hardest person to come out to) that I am a lesbian and my best friend is also my girlfriend. I was wondering how I should tell my mom about us. Also we both still live with my mother and we ...
A. 10 November 2014: I agree 100% with YouWish.
WAIT til you are BOTH out on your own. There is NO hurry to coming out.... (read in full...)
My friend's girlfriend has cost me the friendship
Q. I have a friend for many years. He's never had a girlfriend, just a few flings with women. He's a nice guy by all accounts and recently found a really nice girlfriend. After hearing about her for a few weeks we finally met at his fathers birthday...
A. 10 November 2014: If you wrote the title to your post
"My friend's girlfriend has cost me the friendship" then you are obtuse as to WHOM wrecked this friendship. IT wasn't this girl - IT WAS YOU.
When she showed up at your house, you should have asked he... (read in full...)
Why is my ex acting so horrible?
Q. My ex emailed me apologizing and wanting to make things right for our baby. He left us two months ago after she was born. I was confused by what he wanted and said if he wasn't serious about making things right then to leave us alone. He sent a ...
A. 10 November 2014: He was lashing out because you pointed out that HE is the FAILURE. I think he doesn't like to be reminded that he fell short. Touch cookies.
I would honestly ignore the e-mail. File for Child Support and move on with your life. YOU have the HARD... (read in full...)
He ended it over smoking so I quit. Can I get him back?
Q. I was seeing a guy for a few weeks and all was going really well, we got on brilliantly and talked all day everyday even txting at work. I hadn't gotten on so well with anyone so quickly and things were fantastic. Unfortunately a few weeks in he ...
A. 10 November 2014: I'd say give it a month, then send him a "thanks for the push to quit" - but DO it without the ulterior motive of winning him back.
IF he LIKED you initially, maybe he will suggest going out again, maybe he won't.
However, quitting is GREA... (read in full...)
How can I let a friend down without hurting his feelings?
Q. Dear Cupid,I have question well I dated this guy for awhile but our relationship never went no where the sex was a no go I mean as person he was awesome but his manhood was smaller than his eyes could see.Just last week I spoke to him over the ...
A. 10 November 2014: I'd say never tell a guy it's over because his penis is too small, that would be cruel. I'm sure a guy like that ALREADY knows that his penis is on the smaller side.
You could have said you didn't feel a spark or chemistry between you. And just... (read in full...)
Should I break off contact with my crush?
Q. So there's this guy I've kind of had a crush on for a long time now, since I was around 16 (I'm now 19). The issue is that he's my ex teacher. I have him as a friend on Facebook and we chat occasionally, just about normal things like catching up, ...
A. 10 November 2014: I'd stop the contact. You want more from him then he CAN, and is willing to give you. It frustrates you. So staying in touch may not be helpful to you, because it's a constant reminder that you WANT more then he does.
You don't OWE him. He isn't... (read in full...)
I feel he is almost trying to control me and keep me on a leash while he makes up his mind if I'm "worthy" enough for him.
Q. So my ex and I broke up about 4 months ago. We're long distance, had disagreements on a lot of things that we couldn't compromise on and decided to end it. Since then we've kept in contact and at times it feels like we're still together. The idea of ...
A. 10 November 2014: Instead of WAITING for your BF to make this decision, how about YOU decide for yourself if you are willing to try again or not.
If you ARE willing, then tell him I think we should try and work this out, you have 30 days to figure out if you thin... (read in full...)
How do I tell him that it's OK he got an erection
Q. Hey I'm 16 and today I spent the day with J (also 16) while his parents and mine went out. We've known each other for a year but we aren't really friends. Anyway we both sat on my horse on the way back to the house after a long walk (my horse is ...
A. 10 November 2014: Ignore it for HIS sake. No boy wants to talk to a girl about the boner he had. But Do call him and talk about other things and for a while pretend it didn't happen. IF he brings it up, just be honest and tell him it's no big deal.
Bring... (read in full...)
How does one go about securing a friend with benefits?
Q. I am recently divorced. I'm not ready to get into a relationship, I still have anger over my wife's decision to divorce me. So I've been looking for something that seems somewhat popular these days, a friend with benefits. I've been looking ...
A. 10 November 2014: What are you doing wrong?
YOU are making assumptions about others. Like you "fat, unmarried ugly friend" must be desperate for sex.... Wow. Nice attitude bro, maybe THAT is why you can't find someone?
My BIL joined a dating site and have ha... (read in full...)
I can't leave him until December. How do I stay strong until then?
Q. I am coming here because I need advice on how to stay strong. I feel like writing this all out may help as well as receiving advice from others. I have been with a guy for seven years and he is leaving me for the same woman he has left me for ...
A. 9 November 2014: 1. GOOD for you for FINALLY realizing that this guy is not a good partner, BF or man. Everything is ALL about him. When he is bored with you he goes to her, when he is bored with her, he comes back. CUT the cycle. WALK AWAY.
2. AVOID the subject ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my married lover
Q. I've been in a relationship with an older married man for a year. In the last year, my feelings have grown for him, and I am in love. I know it's selfish, but I want more of his time to be spent with me. He insists that it will get better, but I'm ...
A. 9 November 2014: I'm sorry to be blunt here, but if this "affair" has been going on for a year and you are STILL the "chick on the side" then this is HOW he wants it. He isn't going to leave his wife, family for you - YOU get the leftovers. The time he can "sneak" ... (read in full...)
My alcoholic boyfriend has become a born again Christian and insists we marry
Q. Hello everyone - I'm confused with the direction of my life. My alcoholic boyfriend of 5 years (and it has been a roller coaster ride of binge drinking destruction) has finally quit drinking after a 10 day binge which ended up with him in hosp...
A. 9 November 2014: I would consider that he now IS a new man (though 3 months sober is great, but doesn't mean he WILL stay sober - alcoholism is a tough addiction with or without religion).
So my advice is, figure out if you WANT this "new guy" as your partner ... (read in full...)
My butt is not big enough for my boyfriend.
Q. The thing is, I have some insecurities about the size of my butt. I've been together with my bf for around 3 years and from the beginning he has wished my bottom was bigger. I have gained some weight (around 9 kg)and done exercise and as a result my ...
A. 9 November 2014: I think he is being an ass - QUITE literally.
If you PREFERRED a bigger penis then what he's got, and it's something he CAN NOT alter, how would he feel if you KEPT bring up his "smaller" size?
Is he seriously intellectually impaired?
I h... (read in full...)
It's the end of our friendship ..........
Q. Hi, I have been friends with a man for 7 years and we are both married. We get along really well, but only get to chat a couple of times a month. I will shortly be leaving the school where we usually catch up and although nothing has ever gone on ...
A. 9 November 2014: I don't think he saw yo as just some fun while at school, but he rather not offend YOU by saying that he RATHER listen to his wife and respect that SHE isn't at all happy with this friendship. After all.. he has to LIVE with her.
Wish him well. He... (read in full...)
My g/f was wearing a shirt from a guy she slept with. Should I be upset?
Q. My girlfriend was skyping me and I noticed her shirt. It was a verizon shirt, I work for verizon so I wondered where she got it from. I asked her and she replied from an old friend. After a little bit of digging turns out she slept with this person ...
A. 8 November 2014: I have to agree it is JUST a shirt. Now if his nametag was on it or it used to be HIS favorite T-shirt I'd be concerned.
It must have been quite the "prodding" you gave her for her to "spill the beans" where it was from. And honestly, not heal... (read in full...)
My husband has been meeting women for sex
Q. Well I have been so upset since 2am this morning. My husbands phone rang and I checked it because he was sleeping and it was an email from a girl at a sex hookup sight. I read it and looked at the pics she sent and started crying. I'm so broken. I ...
A. 8 November 2014: Yes, you should confront him. It's NOT your fault that he CHOSE to cheat. Yes lack of intimacy may have made him feel it was OK, but that doesn't really MAKE it OK.
YOU need to figure out what you NEED from in in order to stay and work it out. Wha... (read in full...)
I still have all of these emotions for her, what do I do?
Q. Hi, I am a 19-year-old Briton in need of some advice. Recently I got back in contact with an old crush of mine after having not spoken to each other in just over three years. We didn't meet in person until a month or two of having messaged ...
A. 7 November 2014: My advice?
LEARN that when you TOUCH a red hot poker you will BURN yourself. And if you do it over and over.. you need your head examined.
She had a BF when you first met (which SHOULD have made you BACK OFF) yet you didn't. SHE was TWO TIMI... (read in full...)
We are getting married in a year and already I feel my sex life is terrible even though my B/f tells me once a month is the norm with couples!
Q. My fiancee and I are going through a rut. We are together 2 years and moved in 2 months ago. Before we moved in it was hard to have sex as we were either at my parents or at the appartment he shared with friends. The only time we could have sex is ...
A. 7 November 2014: I agree with both FA and SVC
YOU two are just NOt compatible. Getting married will NOT change things, he will NOt want sex or intimacy MORE because you share a last name, address & a ring.
FOR most couple your age once a month is NOT the norm,... (read in full...)
Does my crossdresser boyfriend have multiple personalities?
Q. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-common-for-crossdressers-to-have-multiple.html Dear Cupid, I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years within the first 3 or 4 months of our relationship I knew that he was hiding something so I precede...
A. 7 November 2014: No.
People already answered your question. Asking it again doesn't change facts. Who not go look at the original answers?
Him putting on WOMEN'S clothes doesn't give him MPD or make it OK to cheat.
He cheats because he can'ts and wants.
... (read in full...)
I've been dating him for 2 years and he won't show me where he lives?
Q. I have been dating a man for two years but he refuses to show me where he lives.he took me to visit jis family out of state; but he can't show me where he live in state.he tells me he lives with a family member.he get many excuses about the ...
A. 7 November 2014: You can not find him? That sounds odd. It sounds like whatever DETAILS he has given you (name, hometown, date of birth/year) isn't the real truth.
Because no finding someone is near impossible in this day and age.
I have to agree he sounds ... (read in full...)
Is it common for men to promise marriage and not go through with it?
Q. Do you think it is common for men to promise marriage and then not follow through? I was with my ex for 8 years. After about three years he would say: we'll get married when we get home from travelling and settle in. Then it was: we'll get married ...
A. 7 November 2014: My first advice is this, DO NOT COMPARE your current BF to your ex. He is NOT the same guy you USED to date.
As for your ex. I think he LIKED to idea of marriage, but he didn't WANT to give that full on "forever" commitment. HE also KNEW that ma... (read in full...)
His love for me is like a knife with a sharpened one side and double side like a sword--what does that mean?
Q. I'm female and 24years of age and my guy is 29years of age,he is the type that likes saying things indirectly so please readers what does my boyfriend mean when he says "His love for me is like a knife with a sharpened one side and double side like ...
A. 7 November 2014: I'd ask him to explain, because YOU don't know what he means.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to take a polygraph?!
Q. Okay so I've been seeing this guy for 10 months, before him I went through a really rough yime after I went through a bad break up with my long term bf, where he cheated. After I did not deal with it well I had dated people and had ended sleeping...
A. 6 November 2014: Tell him to go kick rocks. YOU DO NOT owe him a polygraph because you had a few flings in the past.
HE doesn't OWN you or your past, nor do he have ANY RIGHTS to your past.
I find it incredibly controlling and VERY ridiculous of him to even M... (read in full...)
Cheated on and now stalked
Q. I broke up with my on/off bf of 5 yrs in mid sept. He was acting weird so I let him go. I found out in Oct he cheated on my with at least 2 girls this summer. We still were hanging out and he wanted to get back together but after finding this out ...
A. 6 November 2014: CaringGuy, Eyeswideopenand C Grant are right.
KEEP detailed log of his showing up (stalking) and then contact the Police. They can hopefully give you advice in getting a restraining order.
For him to tell you to TALK to him, no, just no you ... (read in full...)
The clock is ticking and I feel like I am running out of time!
Q. I am in my last year of my 20s and I have not met "the one" yet also I am still in the process of finishing my masters degree. Sometimes I feel like I did not get all the stuff I wanted to get done by the time I turned 30. When I was a teenager I ...
A. 6 November 2014: You have around 10 more years before the clock starts to really wind down.
And it's not really strange that we come to a place in out life and say, this is not quite what I expected myself to be at.
But instead of thinking something is wro... (read in full...)
I am married, but want to confess my feelings of love to another woman.
Q. Hello, I am a 40 yr old married man from India. I had an arranged marriage which is a norm in India. Few years ago I was abroad for 3 years where I met this single Indian woman who was working in the same organization as me. We became good frie...
A. 6 November 2014: I'm sorry you are married and have NOTHING to offer, so why are you toying with this woman's emotions?
Instead of being so FOCUSSED on YOUR feelings maybe have a care about hers? AND your wife's? It's NOt your wife's fault that you and her CHOS... (read in full...)
Why won't he pull out during sex?
Q. So I have a boyfriend who's a pretty good guy. The only thing is, he doesn't want to pull out during sex. Or wear a condom. Says he hates them. We're both pretty stable so that's not a problem. My only question is, why does he do this? We both have ...
A. 6 November 2014: I'm more inclined to ask why YOU are taking this so lightly? YOU are the one who would end up with a BABY in YOUR body. YOU are the one who would end up having to RAISE that baby when he decides he doesn't WANT to be a Daddy.
If he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to set up a fake okcupid profile, what does this mean?
Q. I've been writing to this guy on okcupid for the past 6 months, during which time I was living abroad, and we couldn't meet. When we finally did meet, we had a deep connection. He's introverted, and didn't make any moves on me. Finally, on the ...
A. 6 November 2014: I think he is an immature a-hole who doesn't seem to realize that there are people at the other end.
Dating sites are not made for people to play games (though plenty do it).
I think his attitude show how little respect he has for women in gen... (read in full...)
Are these red flags? I'm nervous because of my past abusive relationship
Q. Hello! I was previously in an abusive relationship, that ended around 4 years ago. I am now in a new relationship, and we've been together for 3 months. Because of my past abusive relationship I am now very cautious of "red flags", and I find some ...
A. 5 November 2014: He snooped through your computer 3 months into the relationship? NOW that is a HUGE red flag in my book.
Hope all is well with you.... (read in full...)
What does it mean when he says I am his "guilty pleasure"?
Q. What does it mean if a man tells you your his guilty pleasure? What would it mean to you if you were to say this to someone or someone was to say this to you? How would you translate this in your inner world? Personally, humorous, passing c...
A. 5 November 2014: I think that sentence can be interpreted in SO many ways, depending on WHO said it and why (and why).
You ask:
*** How would you translate this in your inner world? Personally, humorous, passing comment, serious.**
Personally, well ... (read in full...)
Are these red flags? I'm nervous because of my past abusive relationship
Q. Hello! I was previously in an abusive relationship, that ended around 4 years ago. I am now in a new relationship, and we've been together for 3 months. Because of my past abusive relationship I am now very cautious of "red flags", and I find some ...
A. 4 November 2014: If you FEEL the things he has done so far is NOT OK, walk away.
NONE of us can really decide that for you. YOU will have to trust your gut.
For me it WOULD be a no-no for a guy to snap at me, and then later apologize, OVER AND OVER. Because I ... (read in full...)
Are these red flags? I'm nervous because of my past abusive relationship
Q. Hello! I was previously in an abusive relationship, that ended around 4 years ago. I am now in a new relationship, and we've been together for 3 months. Because of my past abusive relationship I am now very cautious of "red flags", and I find some ...
A. 3 November 2014: I think the "snapping" is unacceptable, for the most part.
BUT, I do agree that "playing games" for free drinks is not appropriate for a woman who is dating someone. I find it tacky. Even if you were single, I'd still find it tacky. YET calling ... (read in full...)
I've been dating him for 2 years and he won't show me where he lives?
Q. I have been dating a man for two years but he refuses to show me where he lives.he took me to visit jis family out of state; but he can't show me where he live in state.he tells me he lives with a family member.he get many excuses about the ...
A. 26 October 2014: You don't have his address?
If you have his name, date of birth and the town/cityState he resides in you CAN (and I would suggest you DO) spend the $6-10 for a background check. Because it's not adding up.
http://www.in... (read in full...)
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