Acne, a genetic skin condition and scars from an accident. How can I overcome by body insecurities that are ruining my life?
Q. I am very happy I found this site. I am very insecure with my body to the point to where I sometimes just look in the mirror and cry. I have been in 2 relationships. Both of them ended basically because of my body insecurities/iss...
A. 3 February 2015: From being a VERY active kid/teen (tom-boy pretty much) I have scars everywhere. I have had stitches maybe 15-20 times and the scars to match. BOTH my knees have scars, one from surgery (about 6 inches long) another from a bike incident, and a ... (read in full...)
How long before we have the exclusivity talk?
Q. This is maybe a dumb question but I met this girl about two weeks ago and we have really hit it off and get together several times a week, text everyday. I would like to eventually become exclusive with her but I'm not sure how long to wait/bring up ...
A. 3 February 2015: So are you sleeping together? If so, I would without doubt bring it up.
... (read in full...)
How long before we have the exclusivity talk?
Q. This is maybe a dumb question but I met this girl about two weeks ago and we have really hit it off and get together several times a week, text everyday. I would like to eventually become exclusive with her but I'm not sure how long to wait/bring up ...
A. 2 February 2015: How many actual DATES have you two been on?
If none, then I would suggest you two GO out and spend time in PERSON not just through texting and phone calls. GET to KNOW her IN person.
Should you keep your options open? I don't think so, if you... (read in full...)
We've been together for 7 months and he has no interest in sex
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months. We live together. I absolutely adore him. He suffers from erectile disfunction. We had a good sex life at the beginning, now we have sex once per week. He just does that to keep me happy. He has no urge at ...
A. 2 February 2015: I think you two are a bad match sexually, and I can only really see one "future" and that is your libido dying a SLOW death while you two become just room-mates.
I think you two jumped the gun on moving in together so soon, because it DOES com... (read in full...)
A co-worker told me she love me. How did she mean that?
Q. So , I've been working at my ex-job for about 3 years, in this time I became quite close to a female colleague of mine. We hanged out (as a group with the others there) and talked many things. On occasion we hugged. When I left she told me she's ve...
A. 2 February 2015: If she has a BF, I'd stop thinking about this any further. She is off-limits.
You wouldn't want to date a girl who cheated on you would you? So don't get into something like that yourself.
... (read in full...)
Can people really change when they realise what they have lost?
Q. Hello cupids. My problem is simple and has happened hundreds of times - my boyfriend of 4.5 years refused to give me a proper commitment or answers about the future, and eventually I got together enough courage and told him I was leaving. Fast...
A. 2 February 2015: I do think it's possible that people can change, if THEY want to change. I can understand your doubt, because you feel he is changing to PLEASE you, NOT because he WANTS the same things as you.
What can you do? You can sit down and TALK openly a... (read in full...)
Am I too demanding? Should I expect and settle for less?
Q. I have been dating a guy who is mid 40's and single most of his life. He is good to me in lots of ways helping out at my place with maintenance jobs. In return I cook for him and buy his favourite wine etc and pay for take aways etc. I work 6 days a ...
A. 2 February 2015: I agree, you are not a good match. Seems like he is looking for a "mom" not a partner. The way you CATER to him, makes me think he lived at home with his mom til late in life? So now he is looking for a replacement mom?
Have you ASKED him out on a... (read in full...)
Been dating him almost a year. I'm upset that he still keeps naked photos of ex-Gf on his phone. Is my reaction rational?
Q. I want to know if I'm being rational or not. So I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year when we first started dating I had learnt he kept photos (naked) ones of girls he's been with and ex's who've sent naughty pics. One day I was filming ...
A. 2 February 2015: I think keeping naked pictures of an ex is a BIG no-no. If you no longer date them, you no longer have the "right" to those naked photos. I think it's DISRESPECTFUL to the ex and to the new GF to keep them.
As for the "porn pictures" of "strange... (read in full...)
Super Confused!
Q. Hi, I'm going to be 21 in a few days, and when i was 14 i told my mom i wanted to wait until i was married to have sex first, and she was super happy about it, she was telling EVERYONE about it and how she was super happy that i was wanting to w...
A. 2 February 2015: What you want at 14 is not always what you want at 21, 31 or 41 and so on.
You, at 14, felt that being a virgin till marriage was what you wanted to do. MAYBE you were influenced by religion, by family, friends or society.
I feel like I'm re... (read in full...)
My was my FWB. Since we broke up he's still friends with other women. So why does he treat me as if I'm ''Not Good enough'' for him?
Q. Hi. I've never written to a site like this before but i feel like i can't really tell anyone how i'm feeling. I had a casual sexual relationship with a guy a few years ago, which i very much regret as it's not something i'd ever done before and ...
A. 2 February 2015: The reason you find his behavior hurtful is because you:
1. project your feelings onto his actions. YOU assume that HE thinks you aren't "good enough" or "pretty enough" - because YOU yourself don't feel validated. You don't NEED some dude you... (read in full...)
A male virgin is not something to proud of.
Q. Hello I am a young college aged guy who is between universities and degrees. Unlike most men my age and social status, I'm a male virgin who's never even kissed a girl. I've also never even been on a date either. Up until recently, I was morbi...
A. 2 February 2015: I will tell you the same as I did to a girl who was VERY proud to be a virgin at 23.
VIRGINITY is a social construct. It came with organized religion. It was a way for MEN to control women's sexuality and fertility.
THAT is it. You have NOTH... (read in full...)
Husband's midlife crisis -- should I stay or should I go?
Q. Hello, I am scared and heart broken. Should I stay or go? I've been married 17 years to a man I love. I have issues of jealousy and separation anxiety and I don't know. My husband is a railroader and a union rep which requires traveling away f...
A. 2 February 2015: I'd ask HIM to leave. IF the kids are staying with you it is BEST to keep them in the same environment and schools - that way they don't have to deal with TOO many big changes.
Talk to him about a trial separation. Maybe you both need to take som... (read in full...)
His extreme jealousy is straining our relationship
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and everything between us is great apart from the fact whenever I am near another guy, he goes off on one and tells the guy to save anyway from me. It doesn't happen all the time, but in the past ...
A. 1 February 2015: There IS no excuse for your BF's behavior and it's NOT OK to treat you like you are HIS property. I mean SERIOUSLY, you don't find it ABSOLUTELY wrong for him to threaten some DUDE in the waiting room at the doctor's office for sitting NEXT to ... (read in full...)
Drawing boundaries with in a FWB relationship... How do I tell him I don't want to hear about her?
Q. I've got a pretty typical but still vexing problem... how do you deal with jealousy and boundaries when in a friends-with-benefits situation? I've been hanging out with the same guy, about two and a half months now. When we first started h...
A. 1 February 2015: I think you are "hanging" in there in hopes he will be "ready" for a relationship and start dating you. HE isn't. He is QUITE happy with how things are. He get the whole "girl friend experience" with you when HE wants it, the friend experience with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I make him feel gay??
Q. Hi everyone im very new to this but umm ive been with my childs father for almost 4 years now n we hv had many down falls n our relationship from cheating to lying even another child that he brought into this world with someone else we hv moved past ...
A. 1 February 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE
WHAT a Jerk!! I think he is saying that YOU make him feel gay, because it's the BEST INSULT he can think off.
You can't MAKE someone gay, that is ridiculous.
Let him go. File for child support and MOVE on. YOU and you... (read in full...)
My was my FWB. Since we broke up he's still friends with other women. So why does he treat me as if I'm ''Not Good enough'' for him?
Q. Hi. I've never written to a site like this before but i feel like i can't really tell anyone how i'm feeling. I had a casual sexual relationship with a guy a few years ago, which i very much regret as it's not something i'd ever done before and ...
A. 1 February 2015: You think he is treating her well? You think a husband who is LOOKING up PAST f-buddies OVER Christmas is a decent husband? IS that treating your wife with love and respect?
You post reminds me of another girl in the SAME situation as you, she ... (read in full...)
Husband wants oral sex 2-3 times a week but sex only once a month?
Q. I have been married for for 3 years together for 13. I've been haveing this issue with him for 2 1/2 years. He wants oral sex about 2-3x per week, but no sex. We have sex once every 6months only if I intiate it. I have spoken to him about it ...
A. 1 February 2015: Let him sulk. How old is he? 5?
Enjoy your peace and quiet doing the shopping and stuff. MAYBE leaving him home will give him time to think.
You have carried the marriage by yourself so far, LET him take over. If he doesn't well, then you k... (read in full...)
How can I learn to not react? Should I continue to put up with his actions? My bf is neglecting me and pushing me for a reaction
Q. I can't take being neglected anymore. My bf and I have been together for 5 years. We've hit a rough patch and things have been horrible. He ignores me knowing, full well, how I feel about it. Then I get mad and start bitching and he laughs at me....
A. 1 February 2015: No matter HOW good a guy he is DEEP down, HE isn't GOING to be that GOOD guy for you. You do realize that, right?
Set yourself free. Find someone who will TREAT you right.... (read in full...)
Guys and sex with some they don't like (or even despise) and the intimacy of that sex!
Q. Is it possible for a 24-26 year-old guy (who gets horny pretty frequently and easily) to get it up and have casual sex with someone he doesn't like, nor finds attractive, AND most importantly someone he finds extremely annoying? If he doesn't ...
A. 1 February 2015: I'm wondering WHY you are asking this.
Some guys AND girls will have sex JUST to have sex. Who they have it with can be irrelevant.
Why they do it? Who knows and who cares? I'd personally just stay away from guys like that. Unless you are O... (read in full...)
Got drunk and think I messed it up with a nice guy I just met
Q. Hello and thanks in advance for your help :) So I was introduced to a guy through a mutual friend. We met for the first time 2 night ago. I wasn't sure if he was really interested or if he was doing it for our mutual friend you know? We hung...
A. 31 January 2015: Shoot him a text apologizing for your behavior. Just be honest and tell him you felt safe knowing HE would get you home, and then THANK him for doing so. Do go into TOO much explaining or apologizing, but DO thank him and DO apologize for taking him ... (read in full...)
Why did he stand me up?
Q. Hi everyone thanks for reading I have been talking to this guy I met on pof for about 2 weeks now. And it has been going really well then on Thursday he asked me to meet him and I said yes and we both we excited talking about where we should ...
A. 31 January 2015: Delete & block his number, forget about him.
Either he LIED to you on PoF and wasn't who he said he/she really was OR he just got cold feet OR the guy has a GF and got cold feet.
Either option, the "liar" (or catfish), the "flake" or the "... (read in full...)
How can I learn to not react? Should I continue to put up with his actions? My bf is neglecting me and pushing me for a reaction
Q. I can't take being neglected anymore. My bf and I have been together for 5 years. We've hit a rough patch and things have been horrible. He ignores me knowing, full well, how I feel about it. Then I get mad and start bitching and he laughs at me....
A. 31 January 2015: You know, the ONLY one who can decide how much of this crap you can and will take, IS YOU.
You want him to change because his behavior is hurtful, but you should also know that BY NOW, he isn't GOING to. AND that YOU can't change him. ONLY you... (read in full...)
She now knows I'm older than I said. Shall I leave it a couple of days and drop a note, explaining all to her, under the door or knock?
Q. Thank you for reading. I have been with my girlfriend a year and we have had a great time. My family moved away and they have pretty much been family to me. We have done trips and I really have spolit her and we have been to some great places / g...
A. 31 January 2015: What? You didn't tell her, and still dated her for a YEAR - a whole FRIGGING year?
I can see why her parents weren't keen on you no more. This IS a big lie. YES, you MAY still be the same guy, but seriously, if you LIE about your AGE for a whole ... (read in full...)
My ex managed to hurt me twice and I'm really having a hard time understanding why
Q. Last year me and my ex broke up, I had put undue stress on the relationship which was completely ruined and looking back, it was the right thing for it to be over. However, he just blocked me out of his life, one day he said he'd speak but then he ...
A. 30 January 2015: What an assclown!
YOU DID the right thing in sending his stuff back. He on the other hand is a callous cad, I guess it really shouldn't surprise you that he didn't mail you your stuff. After all HE got his.
Stop worrying or trying to figure ... (read in full...)
Should I agree that it's OK? My Girlfriend wants to wear transparent clothing that will allow her breasts to be seen to others in public.
Q. Should I let my girlfriend to go braless in public? Will it be okay to allow her? she wants to wear very short dresses, and dresses that allow her breasts to be seen through the fabric and be transparent and be viewable in public. She says she wan...
A. 30 January 2015: Allow her? Seriously?
Is it not her body? Do you think you somehow OWN it, because you DATE her?
DO you expect her to dress frumpy and conservatively because she is dating you? (or any guy).
Maybe consider paying more attention TO her, s... (read in full...)
Is marriage really as bad as it looks?
Q. I've noticed that when married people talk about marriage, they rarely sound happy. It's usually described as hard work, a battle, or a series of ups and downs. It's a land of expanding waistlines, pointless arguments, sweatpants, crying babies, and ...
A. 30 January 2015: Oh and have a listen to this...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY7gSAYAf8s
Poor fella lost his wife, but kept her voice recordings on his phone and when Virgin (the company) deleted them after 10 years he was devastated. Don't you think he's R... (read in full...)
Is marriage really as bad as it looks?
Q. I've noticed that when married people talk about marriage, they rarely sound happy. It's usually described as hard work, a battle, or a series of ups and downs. It's a land of expanding waistlines, pointless arguments, sweatpants, crying babies, and ...
A. 30 January 2015: OP, do you know HOW many women stayed in violent and abusive relationships, because DIVORCE was a "social disgrace"? The woman would get NOTHING, not her children, nor even access to her children.
I think you have the notion that marriage can ONLY... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't support my passion for competing in beauty pageants!
Q. So my BF has recently told me that competing in beauty pageants is a complete waste of my time. That I need to focus on career and becoming a wife and having more kids. I'm 30 and recently auditioned for a pageant and got in. It's coming up in a few ...
A. 30 January 2015: Enjoy your hobby, find a new man.
It's that simple. As much as I detest pageants (not as much for GROWN UP, as I do for kids) I also believe that people should have the FREEDOM to do things like this IF they enjoy it. It's not like you are harm... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has went no contact should I pay for his car insurance?
Q. For a while now I've thought may bf of 4th has been seeing somebody else, he wworks away and I don't really see him anymore, we spoke on the phone or via txt most days,anyway 2weeks ago was the last I spoke to hihim, we spoke about him coming bk ...
A. 30 January 2015: Haven't you asked this SAME question a few few months back? And everyone told you... CANCEL the insurance. HE can't even RING you and DUMP you, so why would you NEED to ring him and tell him about the insurance?
You CAN be a nice person and text... (read in full...)
My mom has cancelled plans to come see me but expects my husband and I to travel to see her?
Q. I've been living abroad, half way across the world for 5 years now. I only have my mum pretty much left family wise, and we get along great, even if it is mostly on skype (i have been back twice, she's been to my new country once). Recent...
A. 30 January 2015: I would just make sure she understand that you & your husband CAN NOT afford the Singapore trip and that you hope she enjoy HER trip. And IF she has the time you would STILL love to see her in your country, that she is ALWAYS welcome.
And then not... (read in full...)
My mother-in-law ignores my children
Q. I need help getting along with my mother in law. We been married for 5 years with 3 kids and till to this day my MIL ignored our children. When she calls she always asked about her son and maybe her grandkids later.....she always checked when we ...
A. 30 January 2015: If your husband IGNORES her calls I would be inclined to do the same, but... that would be rolling in the gutter WITH her instead of taking the high road.
There really is only one option with people like her, "kill" her with kindness.
I would... (read in full...)
Should I tell this man how I feel knowing he may not return the feelings?
Q. Hi, ive been seeing this guy on and off for a couple of years now we haven't made it official its pretty much been like a booty call, So i never really thought of us as anything else, til like 3 months ago.. i started to grow feelings for him. We ...
A. 29 January 2015: What do you have to lose? A booty call FWB thing? If that is NOT really WHAT you don't SETTLE for it just because the guy is hot.
I'd say tell him, and if he doesn't feel the same way, END the "whatever it is" and find someone who sees you as a... (read in full...)
My friend bailed out on me, is it wrong that I am annoyed?
Q. I know I might be just asking this out of annoyance, since this just recently happened, but I have a question regarding my friend bailing on me. So we're in college, and we decided to take a weight training class together. In this class, it's pret...
A. 29 January 2015: She is being unfair. I'd just drop it and find a new partner.
And yes she should have given you a heads up, now you know, she is kind of a flake.
... (read in full...)
Husband wants oral sex 2-3 times a week but sex only once a month?
Q. I have been married for for 3 years together for 13. I've been haveing this issue with him for 2 1/2 years. He wants oral sex about 2-3x per week, but no sex. We have sex once every 6months only if I intiate it. I have spoken to him about it ...
A. 29 January 2015: I would tell him. Sex is a two way street. A WIFE's job is not to SATISFY her husband. To be his maid, cook, housekeeper and sex-toy.
To me it seems like he is taking you 100% for granted. Maybe because when he WANTS blowjobs HE gets them. Af... (read in full...)
How do I assure my girlfriend that I'm not cheating?
Q. My girlfriend constantly accuse me of cheating. It started a year ago, when we split for a few months. I dated another girl and she and I hung out often. I genuinely liked her, but never planned on settling down with her. Fast forward, my gir...
A. 29 January 2015: You can't. If she is SO insecure and distrustful of you, there isn't much you can do.
Here is the thing, she SAID she was OK with you having dated while on the break, SHE WASN'T. And now she is "punishing" you for it. She will continue to do so, a... (read in full...)
How will I deal with culture shock if I move from the Usa to England?
Q. My boyfriend and I have known each other for years (5+) and been dating for 2 of those years. For a while we have told each other that we seem right together and cannot imagine the future without each other. A month or so ago he began slipping i...
A. 29 January 2015: I gave up my "normal" life to move to the US with my husband. IT WAS a culture shock in many ways. SO I can see how you moving from the UK from the US would be as well.
You will come to a country where you speak the same language (for the most par... (read in full...)
He seemed really interested in me, and then vanished off the far of the earth!
Q. Hi there :) I met a guy about 2 months ago and we really hit it off. At first he was super keen and was constantly texting..ten over Xmas/ new year he went home to his parents and I hardly heard from him. As soon as he was back we started to speak ...
A. 29 January 2015: Delete his number, move on. You barely knew him yet expected the he "obviously knew" you were joking..... Maybe he didn't. Maybe he saw it as an eyeopener. If she is like this drunk....
You expected him to drop everything for you because you want... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I feel enough for her for it to become a relationship?
Q. So I've been seeing this woman for a few months now. Maybe a dozen or so times in all, variety of dates - long short, just us and a couple with friends across 4 months. We're not a couple yet, nor had the 'talk', but we may well be that ...
A. 28 January 2015: Hmm, to me it seems like you are TRYING to convince yourself that SHE is someone you want to date.
Have you tried making a pro/con list?
I know lists doesn't give the "perfect picture" but it might give you an idea of where she "fits" in.
Pe... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 28 January 2015: That IS good news.
... (read in full...)
Does he not appreciate my virginity?
Q. My boyfriend and I have very different sexual backgrounds: he has had many partners but I have never had sex with any of the people I have dated. I'm 23 and I have always wanted to have sex with "the one" aka the person who loves me to death and I ...
A. 28 January 2015: You DO know that the "term" VIRGINITY is a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT that came with organized religion?
The REASON (female) virgins were "treasured" and "valued" was because women were a commodity. They were first their FATHER'S property and then their HU... (read in full...)
He went from being a jerk to Prince Charming overnight.
Q. Me and my guy live together for about a year. However I was thinking about moving out because We never do anything special and we never go anywhere. In fact it's usually always on his terms on what he wants to do and even when we argue he needs to ...
A. 28 January 2015: I think you are waiting for the other shoe to drop. For him to slip back in to the "jerk BF' mode that you almost left. And I do think it will happen. THAT is who he is. (the Jerk)
It could VERY well be that he "saw the light" and REALIZED... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 28 January 2015: Good that you are going to be there for him. And no one is saying this "adult kid" should walk all over the two of you. MAKE it a COMPROMISE with your wife, instead of a point of resentment will make this much easier for both of you.
If the son ... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 28 January 2015: It isn't a competition. But if..... my husband EVER told me to pick between him and my kids (our kids) I'd pick the kids EVERY time.
Why not, INSTEAD of making an issue out of this and create unnecessary drama, SIT her down and tell her that yes... (read in full...)
Is marriage really as bad as it looks?
Q. I've noticed that when married people talk about marriage, they rarely sound happy. It's usually described as hard work, a battle, or a series of ups and downs. It's a land of expanding waistlines, pointless arguments, sweatpants, crying babies, and ...
A. 25 January 2015: Auntie YouWish and I have a lot of the same attitudes towards marriage and relationships in general, so all I can really do is echo her answer.
Marriage IS not for everyone. It DOES take work, effort and participation, but really WHAT in life doe... (read in full...)
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