Is marriage really as bad as it looks?
Q. I've noticed that when married people talk about marriage, they rarely sound happy. It's usually described as hard work, a battle, or a series of ups and downs. It's a land of expanding waistlines, pointless arguments, sweatpants, crying babies, and ...
A. 30 January 2015: Oh and have a listen to this...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY7gSAYAf8s
Poor fella lost his wife, but kept her voice recordings on his phone and when Virgin (the company) deleted them after 10 years he was devastated. Don't you think he's R... (read in full...)
Is marriage really as bad as it looks?
Q. I've noticed that when married people talk about marriage, they rarely sound happy. It's usually described as hard work, a battle, or a series of ups and downs. It's a land of expanding waistlines, pointless arguments, sweatpants, crying babies, and ...
A. 30 January 2015: OP, do you know HOW many women stayed in violent and abusive relationships, because DIVORCE was a "social disgrace"? The woman would get NOTHING, not her children, nor even access to her children.
I think you have the notion that marriage can ONLY... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 28 January 2015: That IS good news.
... (read in full...)
He went from being a jerk to Prince Charming overnight.
Q. Me and my guy live together for about a year. However I was thinking about moving out because We never do anything special and we never go anywhere. In fact it's usually always on his terms on what he wants to do and even when we argue he needs to ...
A. 28 January 2015: I think you are waiting for the other shoe to drop. For him to slip back in to the "jerk BF' mode that you almost left. And I do think it will happen. THAT is who he is. (the Jerk)
It could VERY well be that he "saw the light" and REALIZED... (read in full...)
Conflicting school trips! Do I go camping or competing?
Q. Hi everyone, So recently I've been selected to represent my school in one of the biggest competitions amongst international schools. Unfortunately, it clashes with another school trip which is a camping trip that you'll receive award for as well....
A. 28 January 2015: I say competition. YOU did ALL the work and got selected to go.
You BF will get over it, HE should be SUPER PROUD that his GF is selected and going to compete for the school! And so should you.
Don't make this about your BF, this is an OPPOR... (read in full...)
How do I fight to keep this woman in my life?
Q. She was married to her second husband for 18 years. She loved him deeply. She is a sensitive woman whom loves with all her heart. During their union, she had a rare liver disease and underwent 2 liver transplants. The first was rejected. Afterwards, ...
A. 28 January 2015: Encourage her to seek the counseling she is talking about. So many people "think" about counseling, but they DON'T actually do it.
I don't think there is much you CAN do FOR her, other then BE there and support her. But even then, at some point yo... (read in full...)
I want him to realize what he lost and change for me
Q. [OP's original title] I and my ex were together 5.5 years. We had some problems in december cause he get a new job so he wanted to hang out more with his coworkers including admins(girls).last saturday, first time after a month saw each other an...
A. 28 January 2015: Flowers don't mean squat. Sweet words don't mean squat. IF he really cared, he let you know that his behavior was NOT OK and that he is giving you whatever space and time you need. That whatever YOU need from him in order to regain trust, he will ... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 28 January 2015: Good that you are going to be there for him. And no one is saying this "adult kid" should walk all over the two of you. MAKE it a COMPROMISE with your wife, instead of a point of resentment will make this much easier for both of you.
If the son ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong with this about a guy I was seeing?
Q. This guy and I were kind of seeing each other for about 3 months. He introduced me to his family and friends. He would ask to see me most weekends and invite me to events. I remember this one time we were out, and I was talking to another guy and he ...
A. 28 January 2015: You were "kind" of seeing each other, yet not exclusive or BF/GF, correct?
And when he stopped texting you for 4-5 days you replaced him, because you presumed it had fizzled? So you weren't REALLY that into this guy, if 1. you just presumed... (read in full...)
I am seriously thinking about putting my 2 year old up for adoption! Advice?
Q. Hi please don't judge me for this : I am seriously thinking about putting my 2 year old up for adoption. I love her but I am not the mother I hoped to be or she deserves. I cry on a daily basis, find myself snapping at her. The burst into tea...
A. 28 January 2015: I remember the first 18 months with my oldest. Hubby was gone a LOT (work) and then we relocated, he went ahead and we followed later. My oldest was colicky from maybe 4 months? all the way till 18 months. She RARELY slept more then 3 hours in one ... (read in full...)
Who should be her priority, her husband or her adult child?
Q. I have a question and I desperately need an answer. My wife and I have been married for almost 22 years. She has a son approaching 29 years of age from her first marriage. He lives with his father. Her ex suffered a heart attack a few years ago, a...
A. 28 January 2015: It isn't a competition. But if..... my husband EVER told me to pick between him and my kids (our kids) I'd pick the kids EVERY time.
Why not, INSTEAD of making an issue out of this and create unnecessary drama, SIT her down and tell her that yes... (read in full...)
I had considered asking if she would let me masturbate to her but I don't want to come across as a creep. Is there another alternative?
Q. Hi. I am stuck and am open to advice. My cousin and I have been close as "brother-sister" while growing up. She is a few years older then me but we are both in our twenties. I have always had a crush on her but when we were teenagers while ...
A. 28 January 2015: WiseOwlE put it VERY simple. NO mean NO. and that mean you STOP asking.
And honestly, there is NO way you won't come across as creepy.
My advice?
STOP thinking your dick is the center of the Universe and that woman are here to help you ple... (read in full...)
I want him to realize what he lost and change for me
Q. [OP's original title] I and my ex were together 5.5 years. We had some problems in december cause he get a new job so he wanted to hang out more with his coworkers including admins(girls).last saturday, first time after a month saw each other an...
A. 28 January 2015: He think by doing what he is doing he is "lowering" his pride... Seriously?
Honey, BLOCK his number. If you can't find an app for your phone, then consider getting a new phone number.
Don't let him blackmail you into something you KNOW you don... (read in full...)
Husband continues to swing, refuses to stop
Q. Ok long story short... we started swinging about a year into our marriage. He did tell me, prior to our marriage, he was a swinger in his past relationships but led me to believe he could be happy without it. I am an open minded person so I agreed ...
A. 27 January 2015: I don't think you are being unfair, but you ARE being unrealistic.
He LED you to believe that he could be faithful, but that ONLY lasted a year of marriage, so I'm not so sure he LED you, more that you HOPED he would be. THERE is a differen... (read in full...)
He just doesn't get it so I ended it!
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend over an argument that started 2 weeks ago. We were in a restaurant having a conversation and we started disagreeing on something. He started "calling bullshit" on what I was saying and when I tried to explain what I ...
A. 27 January 2015: I think he is ENTITLED to have a different opinion then you, and there is no NEED to cry because he doesn't agree. However, the whole bullying you and the belittle-ling is NOT OK in my book, not in public NOR in private.
My guess is he felt you... (read in full...)
She had oral sex before we got married and I just found this out! Was she a virgin?
Q. I am 30 years old and been married for 9 years. I was a virgin when we got married and she told me she was the same. Till after 8 years of marriage and 3 kids later she tells me that she gave out 20 or 30 blowjobs to two guys before me and she said ...
A. 27 January 2015: I don't agree with her actions or her telling you this NOW, just so SHE can get rid of a guilty conscience.
To me a virgin haven't had sex (any kind of sex) and YES ORAL SEX is sex. BUT many people sees penetration (penis in vagina) as the defi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of one year, is addicted to skype sex chat
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for lil over one year, we spent alot of time to gether, went on trips, had a very fun snd relaxed relationship. Im 28 years old and he just turned 27. He had girl friends before me but never had sexual relationship. ...
A. 27 January 2015: I don't think the watching porn is so horrible, but the lying about it is not a good sign. My guess is he lied because he didn't want to look bad in your eyes. He just wasn't smart enough to delete his history.
I also think you checking his hist... (read in full...)
Should I be worried? He brought up an ex of his and mentioned that she's a porn star now.
Q. Me and my boyfriend were talking last night and he brings up a friend of his that is female (and also his ex)that she said that she is a porn star now (which I think might be a fib I don't know and I don't plan on finding out). He tells me that she ...
A. 27 January 2015: I think Sincerely Yours is right. No he WOULDN'T be with her if he looked at her, but he COULD. And I agree with his boundaries, LOOKING at her (if she was doing porn now) would feel weird for him without doubt, but because he knows her he would ... (read in full...)
I met the perfect Christian guy, but he's gay and has a boyfriend! How do I get over him and stay strong?
Q. I'm a Christian girl and I met this Christian guy through a mutual friend at a party last Halloween. He was really nice and as I got to know him I totally fell for him, he was very respecting of women and he does things like help poor people. We get ...
A. 27 January 2015: By accepting that you were INFATUATED by the IDEA of this guy, not who he is. In your head he was the "perfect match", but in reality he isn't. Doesn't mean he isn't a GREAT guy and maybe (if you are smart) he can be a VALUABLE life long friend.
... (read in full...)
Is it okay to remove myself and "give her up" as a close friend?
Q. So I'm in the situation where I've told one of my good friends that I don't want to see her for a while... The story goes like this: I was good friends with her in high school but she did these little things like made out with a guy I was interested ...
A. 26 January 2015: No need to explain it to her again, just AVOID making plans with her or if she tries tell her point blank no, thanks.
Yes, you can still be polite and courteous since you have shared friends. But the day to day friendship, the calling each oth... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't understand that clinginess turns me off!
Q. Hey, so, I've been having doubts about my current relationship. We met on a dating website 5 months ago, and started dating 3 days after we met... In all honesty, I only accepted going out with him because we had sex, and I then felt obligated to. ...
A. 26 January 2015: You said you made a LOT of promises you can't keep, just to avoid drama.
IF you FEEL like YOU (screw him for a minute) can't do it in person, then DO it over the phone. DOING it in person doesn't make it easier, the only thing it CAN do is make ... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend cheat on me if we don't commit and have sex?
Q. Hi there, I've been thinking all this while about my current boyfriend, who is 31years old. I am 23. Let me brief you all before i ask for help here. So, my current bf used to be my ex-boss in my previous company where I worked. He casually asked me...
A. 26 January 2015: He is nasty. Sorry, a guy who thinks ALL he has to do is CONFESSED that she screwed another women and then CONTINUE to see you is NASTY.
YOU can do SO much better.
If you HAVE sex with him, he will cheat - if you continue to date and NOT hav... (read in full...)
I am starting to dislike and distrust men. How can I move forward after so many disappointments?
Q. I'm afraid I'm starting to dislike men and I really don't want to. Can someone help me to work out how to get over these feelings please because I don't want to be that woman? Basically, I split up with my boyfriend of 5 years about 6 months a...
A. 26 January 2015: Yikes, after your experience with your ex and those couple of guys you went on dates with AND your co-workers, I don't blame you for thinking the WHOLE MALE half of the population is filled with selfish, ignorant, misogynistic bastards.
BUT t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't understand that clinginess turns me off!
Q. Hey, so, I've been having doubts about my current relationship. We met on a dating website 5 months ago, and started dating 3 days after we met... In all honesty, I only accepted going out with him because we had sex, and I then felt obligated to. ...
A. 26 January 2015: End it.
Seems like you bought the cat in the bag.
There is nothing wrong with having ADHD, some people are able to manage it, others not so much. I think there is a lot more to it then "just" that. For the the anger issue would be a WAY b... (read in full...)
I am so frustrated, all I am to him is somebody for dinner conversation!
Q. My bf is significantly older than me. We have been dating for a year or so. He does not want to make love at all. He has an excuse for every time of day. No he does not have ED. When we first got together there was constant affection. Now he will ...
A. 26 January 2015: How much older is he?
And have you asked him point blank why?
You say he has an excuse every time, but it's not a medical issue (ED) so what IS the reason he gives you?
You say YOU try hard, obviously HE doesn't. So yes, it does seem like y... (read in full...)
He comments on other women all the time but never compliments me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. When we first got together he didn't make many comments about the way I look which I didn't really notice until I discovered he'll be very flattering to other women. Like he'll rave about the ...
A. 26 January 2015: I agree with YouWish, it's strategy and simple manipulation. And you know what? IT WORKS.
Do you compliment him? If not, I'd try and give him some, see how it feels to GIVE compliments for the SHEER sake of giving a compliment. Or complime... (read in full...)
I can't give girlfriend a vaginal orgasm and it upsets me!
Q. hi, my girlfriend of 8 months has had 15 previous 'lovers' compared to my 2, and she slipped up to day when we were talking about orgasms, she said she has had a vaginal orgasm but not with me, i can make her orgasm through the clitoris no problem ...
A. 26 January 2015: It can come down to something as simple as position or the "angle of the dangle". And BEAR in mind that MOST that is 80+% of women do NOT orgasm from penetration ALONE.
Your penis is NOT a magic wand (sorry to be the one to inform you of that) so... (read in full...)
Is marriage really as bad as it looks?
Q. I've noticed that when married people talk about marriage, they rarely sound happy. It's usually described as hard work, a battle, or a series of ups and downs. It's a land of expanding waistlines, pointless arguments, sweatpants, crying babies, and ...
A. 25 January 2015: Auntie YouWish and I have a lot of the same attitudes towards marriage and relationships in general, so all I can really do is echo her answer.
Marriage IS not for everyone. It DOES take work, effort and participation, but really WHAT in life doe... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and the father wants a termination.
Q. Im pregnant. When I found out my instinct was to become a mother not to have an abortion. The father wants nothing to do with a baby right now because he wants to move and continue to find himself as he will be 25 in May. He’s called me selfish, ...
A. 24 January 2015: I have to agree. THIS is your choice. 100%. You two may have been a little careless with birth-control/condoms and the end result is a child. IF he was SO adamant that he did NOT want children yet, HE should have been using condoms 100% of the time ... (read in full...)
I feel like I might be doing something wrong but I'm not sure. I need perspective.
Q. Two weekends ago my buddy and I were out at bar having drinks, we are both police officers and were off duty at he time, when we decided to leave we took a short cut around back and saw two guys trying get a very drunk young girl in their car she ...
A. 24 January 2015: Personally, I think I would just be "content" with having been her "hero" for a night. You DID "save" her from goodness knows what.
I think YOU are at a VERY different stage in your life then this (pardon)teenager. I don't think she was "irrespo... (read in full...)
Motorcycle Picture on Facebook ask to be removed caused a breakup
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 20 months. Both of us are twice married. Her second relationship was very, very bad. It hurts her badly to think of it. It damaged her emotionally and if she could, she has said it was the worse mistake she ...
A. 24 January 2015: I would say it like this, you could have NOT looked at the picture. For you to tell HER what she can have on her Facebook page is (sorry) ridiculous. Now if she had a picture of her EX WITH the motorcycle, I can see you not liking it, and I can see ... (read in full...)
My sister in law is cheating because I showed her how to use the internet! How do I stop this?
Q. Let me start out by saying a love my little nephews and brother to death and would do anything for them.I a very sensitive person and consistently asking people are they mad at me. I feel so bad and it's totally my fault that their mom is che...
A. 24 January 2015: OK, first of.. SHE made the choice to cheat. YOU didn't MAKE her cheat.
Secondly, I would tell her if she doesn't CUT the crap on the internet, delete the FB page and TALK to your brother so he knows what's up YOU will TALK to your brother.... (read in full...)
I want him to realize what he lost and change for me
Q. [OP's original title] I and my ex were together 5.5 years. We had some problems in december cause he get a new job so he wanted to hang out more with his coworkers including admins(girls).last saturday, first time after a month saw each other an...
A. 23 January 2015: As far as the HPV - no, if he was JUST A carrier and it was DORMANT in him (and yes it can be for years) the first test can show no changes in your pap-smear, then OVER time ANY time he can have transmitted it to you. Talk to your doctor or look up ... (read in full...)
Am I pestering him? Do I need to be more considerate? I am scared of losing him.
Q. Basically I'm abit confused; It's regarding a LDR (which yes, we live far apart, and yes we have met each other a handful of times - I would happily move down to him or vice versa but finding work is the tricky thing, we both work full time and have...
A. 23 January 2015: I think you should TRY and express what you NEED from him, but you should also realize, that IF he has a demanding job, HE needs to put that first, over some "cutesy texts to his needy GF" - You CAN go a whole day (while he and you are a work) with ... (read in full...)
I want him to realize what he lost and change for me
Q. [OP's original title] I and my ex were together 5.5 years. We had some problems in december cause he get a new job so he wanted to hang out more with his coworkers including admins(girls).last saturday, first time after a month saw each other an...
A. 23 January 2015: If he had sexual partner BEFORE you, the HPV could have come from them. HPV can lay dormant for years and unfortunately, there are no tests that can detect HPV in men UNLESS they have an outbreak. (such as genital warts). So HE might NOT have ... (read in full...)
How do I let my boyfriend know that I like it when he looks and dresses a certain way?
Q. I am dating a guy I am not physically attracted to. We were friends for years but lost touch. Eventually we got back in touch recently and he asked me out. I said yes because he is a great guy-sweet, kind, caring, warm etc. I actually can not say ...
A. 23 January 2015: I agree with Chigirl too.
If the poor fella has to jump through ALL those hoops for you to "feel attracted", then HE isn't for you.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't let go of her old FWBs and it's very hurtful. Do I need to let her go?
Q. I'm in a relationship with this girl, its been almost 6 years together, she's lied to me about serious stuff like old " f and @k buddies" she so claims them to be.. Which are dudes.. Our relationship there's no sex I'm lucky if I get any twice a ...
A. 23 January 2015: So you put forth an ultimatum and you lost. You lost because you didn't REALLY mean the " it's me or them". You were EXPECTING her to say:" OK, I'll drop the dudes." She didn't.
You have no bargaining power with her any more.
Either you SU... (read in full...)
Should I spend all my money to move out (and become broke), or wait for my dad to give me money?
Q. I want to thank everyone here that adviced me in the past. I was previously anonema but forgot my password so I had to create a new account. Your words really made me take a different approach towards handling certain situations in my life. I have...
A. 23 January 2015: How about finding JOB as your FIRST priority, then a SMALL apartment you CAN afford and SAVE up for the plot of land you want. IF you have to wait around for you r dad to "give" you money, you might wait till the cows get home.
Not sure how your... (read in full...)
I want him to realize what he lost and change for me
Q. [OP's original title] I and my ex were together 5.5 years. We had some problems in december cause he get a new job so he wanted to hang out more with his coworkers including admins(girls).last saturday, first time after a month saw each other an...
A. 23 January 2015: You are no longer together, yet you feel it's your RIGHT to stalk his FB and control who he adds to FB? Wow, you have issues young lady.
And when exchanging personal items (because you are NO longer a couple) you ASK to check his phone? SERIOUSL... (read in full...)
I told him no contact and I blocked him, but he got mad. Should I unblock him to send him one last message?
Q. I started No Contact on Sunday so that I could start healing from my ex (of 10 months). Before cutting him off, I sent a one liner email saying "I wish you the best." Then blocked him on Facebook and erased him from my messenger contact list. ...
A. 23 January 2015: Reading your update, I stand by my advice.. YOU owe him nothing.
The guy was hoping to get you to have a FWB, when that didn't work, he TRIED to twist his words/actions in hopes that HE wouldn't look stupid.
The guy WAS/IS playing mind gam... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with me or am I attracted to girls?
Q. Am 19 years old girl and have had sex with 3 guys,but I don't really feel it.Sometimes I watch porn to be aroused,but what really turns me on is girl on girl kind of porn.Watching porn and masturbating is what I enjoy more. Is there something wrong ...
A. 23 January 2015: I think if you didn't get anything out of the sex you either had selfish or inexperienced partners. Though not every female orgasm from penetration alone, many still ENJOY it.
Liking girl/girl porn doesn't automatically make you gay. Many wom... (read in full...)
Suspect fiance lied about past relationship, her lifestyle and degree
Q. I'm 35, had a few relationships in the past, lived with someone for 5 years but never felt like settling down and we split a few years ago and I've dated casually since. 6 months ago I met someone who is incredible, she works in the same field as ...
A. 23 January 2015: By the way, I see NOTHING wrong in doing a background check on someone you are dating and potentially going to marry. Na DA!
... (read in full...)
I told him no contact and I blocked him, but he got mad. Should I unblock him to send him one last message?
Q. I started No Contact on Sunday so that I could start healing from my ex (of 10 months). Before cutting him off, I sent a one liner email saying "I wish you the best." Then blocked him on Facebook and erased him from my messenger contact list. ...
A. 23 January 2015: Nope, no need to explain a THING to him. You are working on YOUR healing he will find his. Even if you DID try and explain WHY you ended it the way you did he most likely would find any "closure", so let him go.. let it go.
IF you HAD a good rea... (read in full...)
Am I being rejected because I didn't hook up with the guy?
Q. Do you think they wanted me to go away? Did the boy who I was talking to show signs of disinterest or his friends just didnot like me? i was talking to a boy and letting him know how much i like his friend who wanted to hookup with me but i re...
A. 23 January 2015: My guess? for not putting out. IF you "allow" him to bite you neck he most likely felt "entitled" to more.
Are you oblivious to how people should treat you?... (read in full...)
Am I being rejected because I didn't hook up with the guy?
Q. Do you think they wanted me to go away? Did the boy who I was talking to show signs of disinterest or his friends just didnot like me? i was talking to a boy and letting him know how much i like his friend who wanted to hookup with me but i re...
A. 22 January 2015: Why are you hanging out with that ass-clown? They are rude and nasty.
I agree FIND better friends. Actually, find some REAL friends.... (read in full...)
Suspect fiance lied about past relationship, her lifestyle and degree
Q. I'm 35, had a few relationships in the past, lived with someone for 5 years but never felt like settling down and we split a few years ago and I've dated casually since. 6 months ago I met someone who is incredible, she works in the same field as ...
A. 22 January 2015: Beefing up a CV for work, is "normal", but outright lying and continue to lie about these things to someone you are going to marry? I find that a bit questionable, because if she LIES about where she lived, her education, WHAT else did she lie ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to remove myself and "give her up" as a close friend?
Q. So I'm in the situation where I've told one of my good friends that I don't want to see her for a while... The story goes like this: I was good friends with her in high school but she did these little things like made out with a guy I was interested ...
A. 19 January 2015: I think you two are oil and water. You both do drama when being "friends", and that rarely makes for a good friendship.
Dump her as a friend. Why not? You don't OWE her anything, other then a reason why and a bye bye.
Seems like you have ou... (read in full...)
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