Am I trapped in this relationship with his Ex-wife a factor? Now he wants to move closer to his Ex !
Q. I will try to make this as short as possible. I am 60 yrs old, live with my boyfriend (AND his grumpy Mother) for 3 yrs...who has been divorced for over 20 years, he has a 30yr old daughter who is married with kids of her own. My boyfriend ha...
A. 25 May 2015: Congrats on the new job! And good luck!... (read in full...)
How do you cope with a 'lovechild'
Q. My husband has 3 children. 2 with me and 1 with his ex. That is pretty normal in todays society, I know, however he had his first child with me and his second with his ex. He got me pregnant and her like 4 months apart. After our daughter was born ...
A. 7 April 2015: I hope to GOODNESS that he has proof (written) that SHE has refused child support - because in MANY states SHE can (if her current BF leaves) DEMAND back paid child support from your BF.
My advice - Tell your BF to contact a lawyer, ASK for a DN... (read in full...)
Am I trapped in this relationship with his Ex-wife a factor? Now he wants to move closer to his Ex !
Q. I will try to make this as short as possible. I am 60 yrs old, live with my boyfriend (AND his grumpy Mother) for 3 yrs...who has been divorced for over 20 years, he has a 30yr old daughter who is married with kids of her own. My boyfriend ha...
A. 6 April 2015: If you have 40K in the bank, why not look into a room mate situation? Where you rent a room instead of finding your own place (yet). Then keep looking for jobs even perhaps one you may not have considered to do - something to HELP you not dig too ... (read in full...)
No contact or contact? I want to feel indifferent. I want to get over him. But is it normal to still want to be friends? Or not?
Q. My ex contacted me after a long time. He was the most serious relationship I have had and although I have moved on with my life, I have not found someone else yet. He has moved on and has a new long term girlfriend. We split because I felt h...
A. 6 April 2015: I'm with SVC.
I'd tell him thanks, but just toss it. And If you still have lingering feelings FOR him, I think meeting up i a bad idea. Because it could give you "hope" that he isn't happy or want you back. Or it could make you feel like crud bec... (read in full...)
I want to ask my co-worker out. Should I text, call, or go up to her, discreetly, and ask her out - face to face?
Q. For the past two months I've been having fun casual conversations with a cute co-worker of mine (we luckily do not work in the same department at all, she just works on the other side of the building) and I recently asked her out for lunch and she ...
A. 6 April 2015: I'd say CALL as well and AFTER work. SHE knows who you are....
Texting seems a little impersonal to me.
Or... as my first BF did... he sent flowers with a card that asked me out to dinner (time/date/place/his number was on the card). He didn't... (read in full...)
He makes excuses to not give me his facebook password!
Q. So i've been with my boyfriend since mid November, i love him dearly but i've always had a few trust issues with him. As of lately theyve gotten really bad, he wont give me his Facebook password, uses the excuse "i change it to much, ive forgot it." ...
A. 6 April 2015: So you have been with him BARELY a month before he went into some kind of probation program and somehow because YOU don't trust him - you have a RIGHT to access his Facebook page? ARE you his probationary officer?
As a GF (or fiance or wife) yo... (read in full...)
Should I ditch my current relationship and try being single again? Could this new guy be problem free for me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and we have began fighting quiet regularly over almost anything. This has made the relationship difficult, and we both have been debating going our separate ways. In the past four months a guy from work ...
A. 6 April 2015: Yes, END your current relationship.
You two are doing nothing but fighting and you ALREADY have a foot out the door "enjoying" flattery from another guy. Doesn't sound like a good relationship with a future, it sounds like it's already dead and... (read in full...)
Did I just get hot and steamy online with a married guy?
Q. Hi everyone, I'll try not to ramble too much. Well basically I play the online game World of Warcraft and I talk often to a guy on there who is two years younger than me. Although we are from very different social backgrounds I do enjoy talking to ...
A. 6 April 2015: I don't think he took you for an idiot, because I doubt anyone does. You don't come off as an idiot. AT ALL.
But back to the question, yes I would ask him. And I get what Cindy is saying too:
(I'm quoting her here)
** The point being, that if... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't stop taking drugs. should I leave him?
Q. I am 25 and my partner is 30. We have been together for 8 months and have had an uneasy relationship. We love each other very much, but he takes class A drugs occasionally and I did not like this. When I came to the decision to leave him he told me ...
A. 6 April 2015: You know the answer. The answer is YES, you should leave him. Like WiseOwlE said if he has been USING a class A drug, it hasn't been purely recreational, it's an addiction. While cocaine and ecstasy can be used as a "recreational" drug, the fact ... (read in full...)
My siblings are harassing me to return my inheritance
Q. Hi there, What a great site and an awesome place to come with a problem.So here goes. My mom died in December 2012.My brother was power of attorney and is actually a lawyer and was power of attorney of the estate.My sister was the executor...
A. 6 April 2015: I agree find ALL the past e-mails regarding this subject and take them to your attorney. LET HIM/HER deal with this issue.
You ask how involving a lawyer will affect that family dynamics? Well, them bullying you seems to be the "family" dynamics... (read in full...)
Did I just get hot and steamy online with a married guy?
Q. Hi everyone, I'll try not to ramble too much. Well basically I play the online game World of Warcraft and I talk often to a guy on there who is two years younger than me. Although we are from very different social backgrounds I do enjoy talking to ...
A. 6 April 2015: Does it make a difference to YOU (OP) whether he is married or not?
IF it DOES make a difference I would just ask. You can tell him you checked his Facebook out ( I wouldn't tell him more honestly).... (read in full...)
How do you cope with a 'lovechild'
Q. My husband has 3 children. 2 with me and 1 with his ex. That is pretty normal in todays society, I know, however he had his first child with me and his second with his ex. He got me pregnant and her like 4 months apart. After our daughter was born ...
A. 5 April 2015: Are you being immature? Not really, but you ARE being unfair. The KIDS he MADE with her didn't HAVE a choice in all this. It's a CHILD. Don't HATE on a kid. It's petty and unbecoming. Hating the EX? Doesn't help you either. It just makes you look ... (read in full...)
Is there any positions that will help me to please him and increase the amount of him that I can feel?
Q. Hi, I have started seeing a guy with a very small penis. I love being around him and love being intimate and don't mind the size but unless I am on top he seems to go soft or fall out often. I would really love to have great sex with him,...
A. 5 April 2015: Reverse Cowboy can work - you not going up/down but rock back and forth.
And I agree, don't focus on insertion... maybe more oral both ways? A smaller penis makes oral MUCH easier on you...... (read in full...)
He never texts me first anymore! Does he like me still?
Q. I have been seeing this man for over two months. At first, we would text all day everyday and call and video call often (him texting me first most of the time). Now it's been little over two months - he doesn't text me as often first but always...
A. 5 April 2015: 1. Don't try and carry on a relationship VIA text.
2. Try and stop being the first to initiate, see how long he goes.
3. IT IS OK to ask him if he is dating other people or just you. I think after 6-7 dated he should have an idea whether he ... (read in full...)
His sexual exploits with previous work mates bother me, am I too old school?
Q. I have been dating a man for a year now. We are great together and making preparations to marriage a couple yrs from now. Lately, I've been struggling with an issue concerning my boyfriend. Before we started dating, we used to work at same ...
A. 5 April 2015: I think he WAS quite the opportunist, when it came to sex. Some guys (and gals) are like that. If someone offers them NSA (no strings attached) sex they jump at the chance.
If he was SINGLE at the time, I don't see the big deal. IF he was DATING s... (read in full...)
Did I just get hot and steamy online with a married guy?
Q. Hi everyone, I'll try not to ramble too much. Well basically I play the online game World of Warcraft and I talk often to a guy on there who is two years younger than me. Although we are from very different social backgrounds I do enjoy talking to ...
A. 5 April 2015: I think I would regard him as married and thus, off limits for sexual things.
And I also think you need to NOT feel like you owe him anything. He is gifting you pixels. People do that all the time in online games - I gifted a woman I play with fro... (read in full...)
I'm on spring break and I think, as a result that I'm bored. Should I try to cut back on my daily masturbation and watching porn for 10 to 20 minutes, daily? addiction or unhealthy?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I have a question: At what point does porn become an addiction, and when does masturbation become "unhealthy?" I am a 15 year old male, and I watch porn PERIODICALLY. I don't watch it daily, usually only once a week for aro...
A. 5 April 2015: Get your ass outside. Go for a run, go to the gym, walk your neighbors dog. And let your poor eyes get a rest from the porn.
Generally I'd say masturbation is a healthy thing. There is a thing called emotional overeating - people eat when bored. I... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed she owes me money, and that our friendship isn't important to her!
Q. I'm quite a generous person and I always try to put people ahead of me. However I feel used at the moment. Most of my friends no longer live where I live, moved away, uni, jobs etc so I barely see them. I saw one of them who I've always cons...
A. 5 April 2015: I don't think it's YOU, not doing good with people. I think you are a VERY good friend and person, who would give the shirt of her back if someone asked.
The only problem with that is, NOT everyone "needs" that "shirt" they just TAKE TAKE TAKE.
... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed she owes me money, and that our friendship isn't important to her!
Q. I'm quite a generous person and I always try to put people ahead of me. However I feel used at the moment. Most of my friends no longer live where I live, moved away, uni, jobs etc so I barely see them. I saw one of them who I've always cons...
A. 4 April 2015: I agree that in the future DO NOT let people money (specially the people who HAS to be prompted to give them back).
Call her up, say hey Lisa (insert name) I knows it's been a while since you borrowed XX Pounds and I'm in a situation where I ... (read in full...)
Gf didn't want me to attend my work function. Am I not allowed a break? This isn't about girls...this is about a little freedom
Q. Is this normal? I have been in relationship for two years and we both had tough financial times but things are looking up. We do not live together yet. I found myself a new job, and after two weeks of declining to join work crew for drinks I f...
A. 4 April 2015: *EDIT*
I wrote at the end..
YOUR entire life should revolve around her insecurities.
It should OF COURSE be...
YOUR entire life shouldn't revolve around her insecurities.... (read in full...)
Gf didn't want me to attend my work function. Am I not allowed a break? This isn't about girls...this is about a little freedom
Q. Is this normal? I have been in relationship for two years and we both had tough financial times but things are looking up. We do not live together yet. I found myself a new job, and after two weeks of declining to join work crew for drinks I f...
A. 4 April 2015: Last advice?
BE OK with telling your GF NO from time to time. IF what she is asking IS unreasonable (like this issue). If she starts and argument (over phone or text, just tell her that you don't want to fight but her DEMAND is unfair. That you... (read in full...)
It's always all about them ! I don't want to lose my close friends. What should I do?
Q. So I have 2 close friends. I am always there for them for whenever they need someone to listen and give advice to. But when it comes to me, they seem to not care at all. Its always about me me me me me me 24/7. When I tell them that I'm depress...
A. 4 April 2015: When you talk to your friends is it always these "Woe is me" conversations? Like texting them because you WANT a shoulder to try on or someone to cheer you up? Or are you also supportive and upbeat? Conversations aren't a competition in WHO has it ... (read in full...)
He inappopriately texted other girls, worried he still has something to hide
Q. My boyfriend and I went through a rough patch because i found out he was texting girls inappropriately. I decided to forgive him and he said he'd show me his phone and give me all his passwords in an effort to regain my trust. Now, at first,...
A. 4 April 2015: Honestly? Going through his phone make you trust him more. He can EASILY delete things he doesn't want you to see.
What you NEED to ask yourself is... WHAT do you NEED from him in order to start trusting again. HE has to do the work, NOT you. Reb... (read in full...)
Am I being moronic about all this? Or ungenerous as my mother implied? And what should I do about it?
Q. My sister is 27, living in a house of her own with a partner who is very likely potential marriage material. She's not too far from our mum, who's only about an hours drive away. I'm in Student Halls over 5 hours drive away, I'm 21, coming back ...
A. 4 April 2015: I agree with Auntie Bim Bim, go for a swap OR just say no. I found the great bargain, I LOVE these shoes,... BUT here is the address you can go look for yourself now and then.
Personally, I'd go the route of just not showing them great stuff yo... (read in full...)
Am I trapped in this relationship with his Ex-wife a factor? Now he wants to move closer to his Ex !
Q. I will try to make this as short as possible. I am 60 yrs old, live with my boyfriend (AND his grumpy Mother) for 3 yrs...who has been divorced for over 20 years, he has a 30yr old daughter who is married with kids of her own. My boyfriend ha...
A. 3 April 2015: You say you are trapped, is that because you CAN'T live on your own? You have no place/income?
... (read in full...)
I'd like to catch up with him. How can I work out his intentions? I don't want to reopen myself to old hurts
Q. My relationship ended a few months ago. Initially I didn't take things very well and did/said things I regret (I went through the whole crying and clinging stage). I still feel very strongly towards this guy and wish things were different but am s...
A. 3 April 2015: I would avoid it, personally.
This guy isn't a friend per se, he is an ex. You have come to terms with the fact that he doesn't WANT to date you, so what exactly would you "get" out of a visit?
He isn't ASKING to see you because he has c... (read in full...)
Was this military man attracted to me"
Q. Hello, i was working at beach resort, when a group of guests came i took them around the resort .There was a certain man who was asking questions and he talked to me about the lunch bill. Inside me i was attracted to the way he talked but kept it ...
A. 3 April 2015: I'm with SVC
He is an officer, which means he OUGHT to have people skills, which includes being nice, polite and friendly when called for.
Like politicians, officers have to be able to "kiss babies" and give orders.
Did he mean anything ... (read in full...)
Why did he ask me to keep this quiet from his girlfriend?
Q. My ex has offered to lend me the money to either get a new car or repair the one I have, with the agreement that I pay it back to him without his current girlfriend knowing as she doesn't know about this money he has in savings. I'm confused as to ...
A. 3 April 2015: I'm with Auntie Bim Bim here.
He has ABSOLUTELY no obligations to be "financially transparent" to the GF, NOR to you.
My GUESS is that she might have been OK with you borrowing money in the pat, but maybe she DOES think you NEED to STOP bor... (read in full...)
My friend treats me like an Idiot and I don't know what to do
Q. Hello everyone! I hope someone out there can help me. Ive been having some problems recently with someone whom used to be quite a close friend to me, but now a days that seems to have changed and Im not sure why. I had a friend who I met in Uni abo...
A. 3 April 2015: To me it sounds like she really doesn't WANT to be your friend any more.
It could be like *birdynumnums* suggest that something else happened that you either aren't mentioning or have forgotten.
It sounds like she is treating you this way to ... (read in full...)
Gf didn't want me to attend my work function. Am I not allowed a break? This isn't about girls...this is about a little freedom
Q. Is this normal? I have been in relationship for two years and we both had tough financial times but things are looking up. We do not live together yet. I found myself a new job, and after two weeks of declining to join work crew for drinks I f...
A. 3 April 2015: I think you should have told her (instead of a 3 hour fight) that you ARE going and that is that.
IT IS normal to go out for a company dinner and get to know your new co-workers. IT doesn't MEAN you will screw every female in sight. I have had... (read in full...)
I'm 37 weeks pregnant and my Bf wants a threesome, He's already messaging the intended girl. Am I being paranoid? Or is this a red flag?.
Q. So my boyfriend of 7 years has asked for sex with another woman, I kind of understand, we are both our firsts and only. We found a woman about our age for a threesome. I am 37 weeks pregnant with our 3rd and she is fit, slender, and has more ...
A. 3 April 2015: Major red flag.
If he wants to have sex with another woman, are you also allowed to have sex with another man? (once you have had HIS child and your body is getting back to normal?)
To me it sounds like he wants YOUR permission to cheat and he ... (read in full...)
Will a married man ever replace his long term mistress with the next best thing?
Q. I am here to ask a question to everyone but WITHOUT JUDGMENT or PREACHING. I know affair posts get everyone very worked up. But I am not here to be crucified. Just to get help. I want to know what you think the answer is. It will help me immensel...
A. 3 April 2015: You know it's getting old when I read these affair post, where it's somehow IMPOSSIBLE for these married men to walk away from their long long term marriage, that somehow their WIFE isn't giving them what they want... Well, the CHEATING husband ... (read in full...)
Communal family living? My husband wants to buy a bigger home so his family can move in. How can I persuade him to not do this?
Q. my husband wants to buy a house big enough for us to move into, and move the in laws in with us. Trouble is I most definitely do not want this! although he wont hear of anything otherwise. We are in our 20's, we have 3 young children. his pa...
A. 2 April 2015: You know when we first moved from one end of the country to another (mainly because hubby has family here) we stayed with my BIL for 3 months. IT was a nightmare (for me and the kids) not so much for hubby.
We have been looking for a house to... (read in full...)
Could my actions towards this student be mis-construed? Do my actions constitute me ''leading this student on''?
Q. I am a senior lecturer in a university. I have never though of myself as good looking or anything special. I think I am good at my job, however I will let the reader judge. Recently, one of my students told me she liked me. She is beautiful, alway...
A. 2 April 2015: I think your reactions is normal.
And think this should be something EVERYONE should know when having a crush and then deciding to "share" with the "object of desire", because HER having a crush on you doesn't mean YOU AUTOMATICALLY feel the same... (read in full...)
Are these really flags or am I reading too much into it?
Q. I have been corresponding with a guy I met through a dating website here in the UK. He approached me first and we have continued to email - sometimes quite lengthy and deep emails. He has been abroad on an adventure holiday in the desert for the ...
A. 2 April 2015: I think some of them are "reg flags" as far as.. HOW good of a match IS he really?
Having a woman lodger, not really a red flag. Though, he might be painting his EX as a little crazy for not liking it and someone who talks SMACK about an ex, I'm ... (read in full...)
How can I know if my husband is gay or not?
Q. I have been happily married for 13 years now. I have always had great sexual experience with my husband. I only felt it was not as often as I would want. I recently suspected he might be a gay??? there were several signs of it to me. Most shocking ...
A. 2 April 2015: I have to agree that the examples you have given doesn't say "GAY!!" at all.
The fact that he CAN maintain a HETEROSEXUAL sex-life with YOU for 13 years, pretty much (to me at least) say that he IS NOT gay. Could be that he is bi-curious, but most... (read in full...)
I love her so much, we are ready, and yes, we have protection.
Q. Please read this all to understand my question more. Hello. First I would like to thank every one on this site. You have helped me a lot. Sadly, another problem has arised. First let me tell you about the girl that I fell In love with. We met during ...
A. 2 April 2015: How long have you two dated?
And HAVE you talked to her about it?
Having the opportunity (home alone and condoms) doesn't always means sex should be the next thing to do.
You have been feeling HER up, but has she been curious about you? ... (read in full...)
Should we still be this close after a breakup?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years. It wasn't a bad break up at all, but after going through emotional problems I brought the idea of separating up and we mutually agreed that our relationship was unrealistic at this point (we live ...
A. 2 April 2015: I don't think the constant contact is a great idea. I mean first of all IF you start dating, do you think a NEW guy would be OK with you you constantly texting an ex? Because it's NOT like the two of you are friends, you are EXES. Now maybe a year ... (read in full...)
I wonder if she is brushing me off.
Q. Hello, I met a girl last week and we hit it off really well and she gave me her number she seemed really into me. I sent her a few messages over the week we shared same interests. These were short emails replies after 3 days so I felt maybe the ...
A. 2 April 2015: She isn't interested. She spend MORE time giving you all the excuses she could make up for WHY she hasn't been in contact, rather then saying things have been hectic but I'd still love to chat and get to know you.
Personally, I'd LEAVE it at this.... (read in full...)
Should I try to win him back?
Q. I dated a guy for a month and it was going so well at the beginning and we were both really into each other, but then he started to get too serious too fast after 2 weeks he told me he loved me and wants marriage and kids asking those kinds of ...
A. 2 April 2015: Jezzz, please let it GO.
IT is a RED FLAG when someone talks "forever" after barely 2 weeks. YOUR instincts were right, and please trust them.
Then you mention SEVERAL thing about him you don't really like.. So you ALREADY know that he is NOT a... (read in full...)
I'd like to talk to him more, but is it worth the money?
Q. This past fall, I took a pe class and unintentionally developed a crush on one of the cute guys on the last day of class. I added him on Facebook over the winter break and messaged him once about the class. During the winter, we didn't have class ...
A. 1 April 2015: You can ONLY talk to him if you enroll? That makes no sense. Why not ask him out? That way you KNOW where you stand without having to shell out for a semester of something you do not need.... (read in full...)
After me being madly in love with him for years, he wants FWB!
Q. Soooooooo after 5 five years being maddly "in love" with a friend who always blew me away, he finally decided to tell me about his feelings and, he want to be friends with benefits , and idk i like him IN THAT WAY but i also want him in other way ...
A. 1 April 2015: You know, Male Nonny,
Maybe FWB is getting to be the NORM these days, but when you LOOK at the posts (mainly by young females) here on DC feeling USED after agreeing to a FWB (because they HOPE for a relationship, and think FWB is the "gateway... (read in full...)
I burst into tears when I saw how my boyfriend lives in squalor, what now?
Q. My 38 year old boyfriend of one year knew I was on my way round. What I saw horrified me. He is living in complete squalor. Dirty filthy conditions I would not put a dog in. He smoothed over it all saying he's busy with work and replacing a chimney ...
A. 1 April 2015: I don't think you are being "selfish" in a NEGATIVE way here. YOU have learned the you two are NOT a great match. You want to go out and DO thing, SEE things, he doesn't. YOU like clean and tidy... HE doesn't.
I'm OCD. And I told my husband ... (read in full...)
After me being madly in love with him for years, he wants FWB!
Q. Soooooooo after 5 five years being maddly "in love" with a friend who always blew me away, he finally decided to tell me about his feelings and, he want to be friends with benefits , and idk i like him IN THAT WAY but i also want him in other way ...
A. 1 April 2015: Yep, I'm with Cindy and YouWish here.
HE knows you have had a crush on him a long time and now he sees a way to USE that crush to get something FROM you.
If you WANT a relationship (aka BF) then DO NOT settle for a FWB with this guy.
Loa... (read in full...)
I burst into tears when I saw how my boyfriend lives in squalor, what now?
Q. My 38 year old boyfriend of one year knew I was on my way round. What I saw horrified me. He is living in complete squalor. Dirty filthy conditions I would not put a dog in. He smoothed over it all saying he's busy with work and replacing a chimney ...
A. 31 March 2015: I'm sorry a pile of dirty dishes IS not the "norm" when someone is remodeling. If you don't have running water, you (general you) shouldn't be living there. And he should be using paper-plates/cup if he can't do the dishes. That way it can still be ... (read in full...)
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