After me being madly in love with him for years, he wants FWB!
Q. Soooooooo after 5 five years being maddly "in love" with a friend who always blew me away, he finally decided to tell me about his feelings and, he want to be friends with benefits , and idk i like him IN THAT WAY but i also want him in other way ...
A. 1 April 2015: You know, Male Nonny,
Maybe FWB is getting to be the NORM these days, but when you LOOK at the posts (mainly by young females) here on DC feeling USED after agreeing to a FWB (because they HOPE for a relationship, and think FWB is the "gateway... (read in full...)
I burst into tears when I saw how my boyfriend lives in squalor, what now?
Q. My 38 year old boyfriend of one year knew I was on my way round. What I saw horrified me. He is living in complete squalor. Dirty filthy conditions I would not put a dog in. He smoothed over it all saying he's busy with work and replacing a chimney ...
A. 1 April 2015: I don't think you are being "selfish" in a NEGATIVE way here. YOU have learned the you two are NOT a great match. You want to go out and DO thing, SEE things, he doesn't. YOU like clean and tidy... HE doesn't.
I'm OCD. And I told my husband ... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling like a loser for going to uni late?
Q. I started at 17 (I'm Scottish) but faced some problems due to being young (hallmates didn't want to be friends with someone who couldn't go out etc.) and after a few years ended leaving my course as I was really depressed (family issues too) and my ...
A. 1 April 2015: See your GP, you are over 18, so you should be able to go to the doctor by yourself.
When you DO go back to Uni you won't be the only one over 17 there, MANY people have ti wait a few year before heading there- 23 is not old.. You might ACTUALLY... (read in full...)
I feel so lost and don't know where to turn!
Q. Hi...I'm in such a mess right now that I honestly don't know how to solve....2 years ago I was in a relationship with a guy that I loved very much...we had problems and I came to the conclusion that it was best to call it a day after 4 years...BIG ...
A. 1 April 2015: I think you need to address your current relationship. IF you ARE NOT happy with this guy, IS IT fair to HIM to keep him around? You would NOT be breaking up a happy family by ending it. Because? it's not a family. It's two people who created a ... (read in full...)
Am I just an insecure bunny boiler?
Q. Me and my BF, both 25, been together for over 18 months now, but there's this girl he's friends with that really rubs me up the wrong way. She's a 20yr old single mother, and doesn't have much of a job. They used to like each other way before...
A. 1 April 2015: JUST because SHE "might" be out to sink her claws into him, doesn't mean he will FALL for it.
What you are saying is that you "trust him, but not HER - that is not how trust works. Either you think he can HANDLE being friends with her or you don'... (read in full...)
After me being madly in love with him for years, he wants FWB!
Q. Soooooooo after 5 five years being maddly "in love" with a friend who always blew me away, he finally decided to tell me about his feelings and, he want to be friends with benefits , and idk i like him IN THAT WAY but i also want him in other way ...
A. 1 April 2015: Yep, I'm with Cindy and YouWish here.
HE knows you have had a crush on him a long time and now he sees a way to USE that crush to get something FROM you.
If you WANT a relationship (aka BF) then DO NOT settle for a FWB with this guy.
Loa... (read in full...)
How do I get over something like this? Are there no more morals or respect these days? I'm so hurt and I want him to feel my pain
Q. I have been suspicious about my fiance's activity so I broke off my engagement because he is talking and hanging out with his ex. We haven't even officially broke it off and he's been out with her and other friends. He's asked me to meet up with ...
A. 31 March 2015: Stay off his/her Facebook? or wherever you saw the photos. And definitely no contact.... (read in full...)
I'm confused about his motivations, if in fact he has any!
Q. I'm feeling a bit confused over how I feel about a guy and more importantly whether or not he likes me. The guy in question is my tennis coach and he's pretty good looking and we get on extremely well. I have lessons with him on my own and also ...
A. 31 March 2015: He is like ANY good coach/trainer GOOD with details. It's what KEEPS the customers/clients coming back. He likes to banter because he sees you can handle it.
He HAS a LONG TERM GF so it really DOESN'T MATTER if he "likes" you.
My guess is l... (read in full...)
How do I know the difference between gut instinct and paranoia?
Q. Hi all. This question has two parts. Should you ever ask your BF if he finds another woman attractive and if he would ever fvck her? I asked my BF tonight if he would fvck this other woman we both know and he said not while he was with me. T...
A. 31 March 2015: So you have been in this 2 YEAR long relationship waiting for the other shoe to drop (for him to cheat)? That is NOT healthy, nor is it FAIR on him.
So you were cheated on in your last relationship, OK that SUCKS, but that doesn't mean that you... (read in full...)
Could we work or remain simply as friendly coworkers?
Q. Dear Cupid, Here's the thing. I live a life in shackles. Every waking day I'm reminded of what I have to live with. I have an illness caused/triggered by a traumatic incident I've experienced. I love my new/current job. My coworkers were s...
A. 31 March 2015: I agree with SVC
STICK to getting yourself HEALTHY before even considering dating. You are still not "stable" by your own admission and if stress at work can have SUCH a profound effect on you, imagine a relationship added onto that?
And the... (read in full...)
She was insistent on including her daughters in our invitation to her and then she was a no-show! I wasted £300 on all 4 of them!
Q. I got married over a month ago and I invited a friend of mine - we used to work together and became really good friends so I invited both her and husband to my wedding for the entire day. When my friend received her invite she called to as...
A. 31 March 2015: Yes, I would be upset too. Not so much for the extra money spend, it happens. BUT the fact that she couldn't be BOTHERED to call and let you know they would NOT attend after all? THAT, right there, would bother me.
And for her to dismiss it? Sorr... (read in full...)
How do I live with the man and woman who were in a relationship behind my back?
Q. About a month ago the guy I was seeing broke it off with me. We had been friends for around six months before finally getting together and currently live together in the accomodation at our university. We were very happy and very close. He was also ...
A. 31 March 2015: Wow.... First thing I'd do? FIND a new place to live. YOU DO NOT have to stay there, I'm sure there are ways to get out of THAT arrangement. And then CUT the contact with this guy.
Funny how he says YOU were just using him for sex.... when in ... (read in full...)
Would a single man of 45 who has never settled down give up his 'freedom' now?
Q. Hello and Thank you for reading. My question is about men/a man and I'd appreciate hearing from the male perspective as well as females. If a man is single at age 45 and has never felt ready to settle down but is now kind of shifting in that...
A. 31 March 2015: I think he is QUITE happy with status quo. Which is... he can STILL do as he pleases but also see you when he FEELS like it.
Honestly, reading your post I see NO indications that he is interested in more then what you two have now.
Will he... (read in full...)
I burst into tears when I saw how my boyfriend lives in squalor, what now?
Q. My 38 year old boyfriend of one year knew I was on my way round. What I saw horrified me. He is living in complete squalor. Dirty filthy conditions I would not put a dog in. He smoothed over it all saying he's busy with work and replacing a chimney ...
A. 31 March 2015: I'm sorry a pile of dirty dishes IS not the "norm" when someone is remodeling. If you don't have running water, you (general you) shouldn't be living there. And he should be using paper-plates/cup if he can't do the dishes. That way it can still be ... (read in full...)
How do I get over something like this? Are there no more morals or respect these days? I'm so hurt and I want him to feel my pain
Q. I have been suspicious about my fiance's activity so I broke off my engagement because he is talking and hanging out with his ex. We haven't even officially broke it off and he's been out with her and other friends. He's asked me to meet up with ...
A. 31 March 2015: He figured you would be happy with a ring on your finger and not pay attention to his other "activities".
There is no NEED for an OFFICIAL break up. If you have things at his place, set up a date to pick them up and return his stuff - DO NOT disc... (read in full...)
I feel at the moment that I'm just not capable of being the right type of person to manage a relationship. Can anyone help?
Q. In the past I have been in emotionally abusive relationships and had an emotionally abusive parent. As a result I lack self worth and struggle with anxiety and depression. I've been in a relationship for four years and in that time I've done a l...
A. 31 March 2015: Maybe back to the therapist/CBT a bit?
It's OK to feel a little jealous/envious that he made a promotion and you haven't, YET. BUT it's really something you need to keep to yourself. Or discuss with him at another time NOT right when he is excit... (read in full...)
I need to change my thinking, my attitude. How can I make myself into a better person?
Q. I'm 32 years old and have a horrible personality it seems. I'm one of the most kindhearted people you'd ever meet, always put others before myself (I'm in the medical field actually) but I have such a negative hateful attitude. I want to change b...
A. 31 March 2015: I'd start with going to your doctor. Have you hormone levels checked. And I'd have a talk about depression with him/her as well. Because those massive moods-wings you mention can be due to depression.
I think the GOOD thing is you KNOW your beh... (read in full...)
We've known each other 2 weeks so what do you take from these messages?
Q. I need your opinion please... I started talking to this guy, we started talking everyday for the first 4 days but then he stopped calling and says he us busy. It's a fact that he has a very bust job I understand but he doesn't even answer texts, ...
A. 31 March 2015: I think he WANTS to get to know you, but he doesn't WANT to constantly text you.
Some people treat texting like for emergencies NOT for conversations. And he MIGHT be one of those people who don't like texting while at work, because he is ACTUALLY... (read in full...)
If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late?
Q. If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late? I feel too insecure about my age, being inexperienced at this age makes me feel pathetic, insecure, I just never knew how to approach and talk to girls in a way that ...
A. 30 March 2015: You can't let.. "I have HEARD that SOME guys don't enjoy it as much in their 30's" HOLD you back - or maybe you can, it IS up to you.
What you DO get in your 30's are MORE women who are WAY more OK with their bodies and enjoying sex, who KNOWS wh... (read in full...)
If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late?
Q. If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late? I feel too insecure about my age, being inexperienced at this age makes me feel pathetic, insecure, I just never knew how to approach and talk to girls in a way that ...
A. 30 March 2015: It's different for EACH person and at different ages. I didn't DATE till 19 and I was with that BF for 4 1/2 years -so into my 20's.
THERE are no rules that you HAVE more fun dating at certain ages. IT's UP to you. IT IS your life.
YOU are... (read in full...)
Do you think I've made the right decision to not attend this wedding, where my Bf will be the Best man?
Q. this may seem like a minor situation but it's stressing me out and im a grad student so extra stress is bad. A few months ago I had a falling out with my ex flatmates who are a couple. My boyfriend took their side which upset me. I posted on herea...
A. 30 March 2015: I think if you are invited BY name (not +1) it would be a GREAT way to show that you CAN take the high road and act mature.
Doesn't mean they are now your best buddies, but I think them inviting you is THEM trying to show that they harbor n... (read in full...)
Why does my long term Gf still keep registering on dating sites? It's affecting our relationship
Q. I've caught my long term girlfriend many times registered and active on different dating sites. I am not able to get to the root of it, because I always end up defending myself over extremely minor mistakes I made years ago (like being 10 minu...
A. 30 March 2015: Why are you still with her? If marriage is out of the question for you (understandably) and NOT being on dating sites is out of the question for her....
It makes no sense in staying together.... (read in full...)
If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late?
Q. If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late? I feel too insecure about my age, being inexperienced at this age makes me feel pathetic, insecure, I just never knew how to approach and talk to girls in a way that ...
A. 30 March 2015: I didn't marry till 28 and we certainly didn't slow down in our 30's, it wasn't really till his heart attack in his 40's that things slowed down, WAY down.
You can't go around with a chip on your shoulder for ALL the things you HAVEN'T DONE, wh... (read in full...)
Is it normal to fantasize about another guy when you are married with kids?
Q. Hi, is it normal to fantasize about another guy when you are married with kids? We have been married for 22 years. I am for the most part happily married but when things don't seem to be going right--meaning a disagreement or frustration in our ...
A. 30 March 2015: I think having fantasies are absolutely normal, personally I have learned to keep to "fictional" characters. Because once you start to fantasize about a real person who is in your life (like your gym trainer) it crosses a line into the murky waters ... (read in full...)
My Ex cheated and then he left me. Why can't I move on from this set-back?
Q. Why can't I move on? I am in college two months ago my ex cheated and left. Now I am so alone in college and it's like I enjoy being sad because today I found myself crying and it seems he's fine. I cry the most when I think about how he so ...
A. 30 March 2015: I think you someone believe it's your fault he cheated.
IT IS NOT.
And then of course there is the humiliation and disappointment.
WHY did he DO that to ME?
(He made that choice because he believes the world revolves around what HE want... (read in full...)
Help me to move on after the he violated my trust
Q. Recently I split with my partner of 2.5 years. We split last August for 3 months and reconciled in October under the circumstance that we were completely honest about what had happened since we split, had it all out cards on the tables I completely ...
A. 30 March 2015: Please don't feel stupid.
You did the right thing (in breaking up the first time) and what you FELT was the right thing (getting back together after airing out and fixing issues) and when it turned out that he had LIED to you you left him again. ... (read in full...)
My fiance never wants to have sex. How can I improve this situation?
Q. My fiance never wants to have sex. I ask him all the time why and he tells me he is extremely self conscious of his penis. He won't let me touch his penis if I try to grab him. I know he loves me but I can't seem to fix this issue. I try to ...
A. 30 March 2015: What exactly is "wrong" with his penis? Have you two had sex ever? Can he get it up? Can he "complete" a lovemaking session?
Has he TALKED to a doctor/counselor about his issues?
I'd tell him that you are going to back off lovemaking/sex (... (read in full...)
His (now pregnant) one night stand is causing angst for us. Do I stand by my man and help him through this difficult time or leave?
Q. Please help. My boyfriend of 5 years and i took a break. During this time he had a one night stand with a condom. Two months later we started going to counseling and everything seemed to be working out. He even proposed marriage and our...
A. 30 March 2015: He NEEDS to get a DNA test done ASAP (as soon as the child is born, to establish paternity)
A SCAN (US) is not a 100% certainly for what DATE the conception happened. With my 2nd baby I was given a window of 10 days. SO she could EASILY have bee... (read in full...)
We've been dating 4 months and I have taken him back after finding he'd been chatting with other girls and his ex!
Q. Hey, I'm looking for advice no a current situation with my boyfriend. We're both 23 We've been dating for 4 months now. The start of the second month I realized he lied to me about a nude photo of his friend but cast forward I got over that as she s...
A. 30 March 2015: Now you know. Having limits and boundaries for WHAT you are OK with in a relationship is OK.
He didn't respect yours (or you) so LET him go.
My personal advice to you? LISTEN to your gut. It's very sweet of you to be a forgiving person... (read in full...)
He was my first boyfriend. 11 months together. Then it ended badly. What help would help me deal with all the hurt I feel over this?
Q. 2 months ago my boyfriend and I broke up. I am struggling so badly, and Ive almost gone to see a psychologist. He was my first boyfriend; he was 26 I was 24. We were together for 11 months. He persued me in the beginning and even though he was t...
A. 30 March 2015: Are you both from the same background? Religiously and culturally?
Because I DO understand that you WANTED to share sex with him within the relationship, but if it WENT against his religious beliefs and cultural upbringing I think it's a little u... (read in full...)
Is 47 too old to start a family?
Q. Im 47 yo male. Just wondering what opinions are on starting a family when you are older? Id like a male and female opinion. Cheers....
A. 30 March 2015: I'm 45. I'm DEFINITELY done having kids. So if you want to "start" a family you would have to look to a younger woman, 25-35.
But IF I was in that age-group myself (25-35) I wouldn't be dating someone in they late 40's myself. However, there ar... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm dating a little boy instead of a man?
Q. So I've been dating my boyfriend for three years now and for the most part everything is great. However, he is 24 without a car(he longboards) and has not found his career path yet. Last year he was planning on going into the military but he could...
A. 30 March 2015: Well a skateboarding (yeah, I know long boarding might sound less.. kid-like, but he is BASICALLY skateboarding around)at 24.
He has no career - which I guess is not totally strange, not everyone KNOW what they want to be "when they grow up" - bu... (read in full...)
My ex wants to take our baby away for his visits and I'm not comfortable with this. Do I have a say in the matter?
Q. Hi, My ex and I split up while I was pregnant and now he sees our son (9 weeks old) for about 2 hours a week at my house. He has never done a night feed alone and has never looked after him without supervision. He is saying he wants to take me...
A. 30 March 2015: I forgot to mention, maybe you could do a day-trip to his parents house and spend a few hours with them, see how they all work together?
Whether you like it or NOT , THEY are your baby's family too.... (read in full...)
My ex wants to take our baby away for his visits and I'm not comfortable with this. Do I have a say in the matter?
Q. Hi, My ex and I split up while I was pregnant and now he sees our son (9 weeks old) for about 2 hours a week at my house. He has never done a night feed alone and has never looked after him without supervision. He is saying he wants to take me...
A. 30 March 2015: He is 9 weeks old, he NEEDS his mother. I would find a NEUTRAL 3rd person to mediate this.
Your child's DAD have rights. BUT his right doesn't SUPERSEDE those of common sens and child care.
I DO think have a LEGAL document with visitation sched... (read in full...)
Do I need to show my boyfriend what I like sexually?
Q. I have been dating a guy for around a month now, met him three times. We slept together on the second time, it felt so natural and things seem to be progressing from there quite steadily. We get on extremely well, feel at ease with each other etc. ...
A. 30 March 2015: I don't know what a "look in" is.
But yes, IF he is ONLY concerned with his own pleasure you NEED to speak up, not wait for him to MAYBE/PERHAPS/HOPEFULLY get the hint that his PENIS isn't a magic wand - you need more then some in/out..... (read in full...)
The married man I'm seeing has now pulled back. What am I supposed to think?
Q. I met a man, he's married. We've been seeing each other but only slept together that first night... It's been 5 weeks of texting and short visits. We have very strong feelings for each other. He said he doesn't want to drag me into his mess, also ...
A. 30 March 2015: I'd cut it off entirely.
HE IS MARRIED. WHAT is so hard to figure out?
Yes you have INTENSE feelings... LUST, ATTRACTION but that doesn't make it any more "right".
He CAN NOT DATE you. HE is married.
I'd tell him that when/if he gets a ... (read in full...)
I chose not to stay with my boyfriend's family while in his country and now no one is speaking to me
Q. CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT ID DID WRONG??? My boyfriend"s cousin lives in one of the Europian countries. The family is very close to absurdity. Even if someone is wrong they are still right. i am planning a vacation where my boyfriend can't...
A. 30 March 2015: Yikes!
I think his family sees you with $$ in their eyes. And I think you need to be mindful of that with the BF too.
Honestly, I would have told them that it was NICE of them to offer but your plans are already made, no further excuses.... (read in full...)
I told my tutor that I had a crush on him and now he's acting very coldly to me
Q. I told my tutor I had a crush on him and that it was affecting my work, I knew he would reject me, we laughed and agreed to carry on as normal etc However he has been really cold towards me since, he won't look at me or even barely talk to m...
A. 30 March 2015: EDIT...
THAT is why thinks are weird now.
SHOULD read...
THAT is why things are weird now.
Stupid auto-correct ....... (read in full...)
I told my tutor that I had a crush on him and now he's acting very coldly to me
Q. I told my tutor I had a crush on him and that it was affecting my work, I knew he would reject me, we laughed and agreed to carry on as normal etc However he has been really cold towards me since, he won't look at me or even barely talk to m...
A. 30 March 2015: Because he feels like HE did something wrong or that he behaved in a manner that gave you the NOTION he would be interested in you. It makes him uncomfortable knowing that you crush on him. If his intentions was to be friendly with his "student" and ... (read in full...)
If you like a woman but want her to slow down what can you do?
Q. Hi, Help needed! I met this woman who I've known for years and always liked. We got together recently and I really like her but she was coming on a bit intense. I backed off but she was still intense, texting a lot. I def' like her but want to ...
A. 30 March 2015: Full on AMEN to WiseOwlE's advice.
YOU are WAY to old to cook up some lie instead of JUST being honest.
Personally, If I were her, I would not believe you if you told me that you made up a lie of another GF instead of telling me I was coming ... (read in full...)
Is he stringing me along or is he serious about having a relationship with me? I miss him so much.
Q. Hi all, I really need advise, I can't stop thinking about this guy. I've known him and have been out with him and apparently he says we are still together. He lives elsewhere now since leaving for a job. and we havent really seen each other. We ...
A. 29 March 2015: Oh, he is SO stringing you along.
I bet you every time you seem to have doubts about the two of you he bring up things like visiting, moving back down, vacations, spending time, ya-da,ya-da the things he KNOWS you want to hear. That THAT in turn ... (read in full...)
My husband has been nasty to me since the birth of our second son! Any advice?
Q. Please can anyone give me some advice, i have been with my partner 5 years we have a 2 year old boy and a baby boy of 5 weeks. my partner since the birth of our second son is being nasty to me talks awful to me and shows me no affection at all he ...
A. 29 March 2015: You need to talk to him. Maybe find some middle way that can give you BOTH a relaxing week-end.
Do you leave near (or on post)? If so, I'd contact the chaplain and set up an appointment FOR you to talk this through on HOW to best approach your hub... (read in full...)
We've been dating 4 months and I have taken him back after finding he'd been chatting with other girls and his ex!
Q. Hey, I'm looking for advice no a current situation with my boyfriend. We're both 23 We've been dating for 4 months now. The start of the second month I realized he lied to me about a nude photo of his friend but cast forward I got over that as she s...
A. 29 March 2015: Honey, you CAN NOT change him. THIS is who he is.
He will keep lying and sneaking around till the cows come home and he will think you are SORTA OK with it, because you STICK around.
DUMP him and move on.
If a guy after ONLY 2 month of da... (read in full...)
If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late?
Q. If you are 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, is it too late? I feel too insecure about my age, being inexperienced at this age makes me feel pathetic, insecure, I just never knew how to approach and talk to girls in a way that ...
A. 24 March 2015: I think that if you STOP being so focused on the "virginity" issue and JUST try and go out and GET TO KNOW women, NOT for the SAKE of losing that virginity but to BEFRIEND females, it's a start.
I'm an online gamer (not as much as I used to be) b... (read in full...)
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