How would you deal with this situation?
Q. I have been engaged to my fiance since August 2019 and our wedding's delayed due to COVID-19. Been together since 2014. My dad normally hasn't had a problem with him, but now he's had a problem with both me and him, and claims my fiance is mental...
A. 8 December 2021: Sounds like our resident fiction writer is back.... (read in full...)
Do I just walk away?
Q. I’m feeling really undecided right now. I’m coming up to my 30th birthday. I have a good job, good friends and family. I have met an older man, 16 year age difference. He has a daughter 18 and a son 12 to one woman. No problems there. He has a 10 ...
A. 7 December 2021: Listen to your own "common sense" here and walk away.
"He takes all his frustrations out on me, saying I’m needy or always wanting attention or that I have issues and I’m negative. "
No, just no. His frustrations are his to deal with you ar... (read in full...)
I'm married and want to have sex with a man I work with
Q. I am married to wonderful man. We are white with two sons. Recently I have become infatuated with a black man at work. He is a polite and gentlemanly. I find myself thinking and fantasizeing about having sex with him. Is it wrong to have a ...
A. 7 December 2021: What in the World does "interracial" have to do with cheating?
Sounds like YOU are fetishizing black men.
But why ask random strangers? Hoping someone will tell you to go ahead and have fun with a coworker?
TALK to your husband. He is the ... (read in full...)
Is it over before it even really got started?
Q. I was seeing a male friend. (a) It was slowly progressing friendship. I began talking to another male friend, (B) (b) began to spread rumors about himself and me that we were engaging in sex. That wasn’t true at all. However my first male fr...
A. 7 December 2021: Yep cut them both off - block access to your and their social media.
Don't stay "friends" with either.
Move on.
No one here can read their minds and you have no idea what kind of lies A AND/OR B is telling each other about you. And rea... (read in full...)
My father in law is a narcissist and my husband doesn't see it
Q. I've been in a relationship for about 6 years. We have 4 kids together. We're not married. I've decided I'm never going to marry him. I'd never take his name. So our relationship has its ups and downs, but for the last year it was going well. ...
A. 5 December 2021: Can it be salvaged?
It depends on your husband. 100%
If he REFUSES to accept that his behavior is not OK in your marriage, then no. If he REFUSES to get help (anger management for instance), then probably no.
As for having long waits in res... (read in full...)
My husband has admitted to having an affair with the principal
Q. I'm a mom to two daughters, 11 and 13. Been married for 13 years, but we've been together for 14 years in total. Earlier in the week, my best friend Jenny and her fiancee Katie came to my house, as Jenny had something important to say about my hus...
A. 5 December 2021: You contact a lawyer. ASAP.
Depending on the state there are a variety of outcomes when it comes to financials. You need to be ahead of the affair/divorce train. He is still in the "affair fog", so you might be able to settle this faster and in a... (read in full...)
My husband wants a divorce but I don't
Q. My marriage is over basically. I've been with my husband for 13 years and married 8. We have a long history of on again and off again and everytime I try to change myself but then I stopped because I let something he said or did bother me enough to ...
A. 4 December 2021: Op,
Your husband is already done with this marriage. Nothing you can do or say will change HIS mind. He is done.
Refusing to give him his freedom will do nothing for you or your kids.
Your marriage obviously isn't working. And from the li... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend just controlling or is he mentally ill?
Q. Hi friends. This topic is a hard one to discuss and I hope you can all help me. I'm at a desperate point in my life now where I need answers or some advice on which way to go next. Please don't see me as weak in anyway because I am not. I've been ...
A. 4 December 2021: You keep saying you love him.
So do you love him MORe than your kids?
This sounds like a horrible situation for your kids! I mean WHAT the actual F! He thinks he is competing for your attention with your kids?! And you are OK with that? He d... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is making me choose between her an an old friend
Q. I need some advice on a situation in my relationship that is becoming more perilous and toxic as each day passes to put it all into context I have to provide a bit of a background, which I will keep as small as possible. before and during my...
A. 4 December 2021: Why not just come clean 100%?
Doesn't matter that it happened BEFORE you and your GF started sating you LIED to her face! Man, that means you are NOT trustworthy when it comes to this "female friend".
Should your GF have gone through your lap... (read in full...)
Is my husband playing me?
Q. Hello So, my husband and have been married approximately 4 years. He is from a different country, and we have been living apart until his visa gets approved. I don't believe it will happen because he can not even get a visiting visa (he is alwa...
A. 4 December 2021: "I'm being played aren't I?"
I think so, OP
I'm sorry to say this but it sounds like a romance scam but with the added visits/holidays for him.
You should NOT be financially responsible for a GROWN man. If 500 a month is a LOt for you, ... (read in full...)
Is my fiances best friend gay? Bisexual?
Q. I've been with my fiance for 5 years, but we've only been engaged for 2 years now, the wedding delayed due to COVID-19, lockdowns and social distancing, we were meant to have 150 people at our wedding. However, it's not our wedding that's t...
A. 1 December 2021: First of all, your fiance owed his BFF nothing. Not sexually or otherwise. And no the groom doesn't HAVE to see his BFF in his underwear, I mean WTF?! who would believe that line anyway? And no, I highly doubt that "very groom's wanted to do that, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had sex with my friend bought a plan B from pharmacy. How do I talk to her? She doesn't know that I know
Q. My partner and I have been together for 2 years now, and it's been pretty great. But in the last year our sex life started to be less frequent. We've been playing some kinky games in the last number of months, where she would talk about her flirting...
A. 1 December 2021: I fully agree with WiseOwlE
"I can only be blunt. Your girlfriend cheated on you."
yeah, she cheated on you. There is no doubt.
Being into "poly" doesn't give anyone a free hall-pass to screw around. It's not an excuse to "duck" other p... (read in full...)
Is it normal to talk about sex with a platonic friend?
Q. Work is work, but for me it's more of a day job, because I am a writer. Specifically, I write erotica. I'm not particularly ashamed of it either, all my non-work friends know, and are always asking me for sex advice. Every time a guy friend finds ...
A. 1 December 2021: Sure, why not?
However, it is always up to you to decide which boundaries you want and which you will allow being crossed.
If you are OK with sharing your stories, that is just fine. You could be writing about cooking or art and share it too... (read in full...)
My soulmate lied then ended things but I miss her
Q. I'm not sure if this counts as a question. I'm sorry, I'm just really frustrated. So. I accused my girlfriend of cheating. I had proof.. solid, even. In my head. I knew it, I had the phone number, account and everything. Of course, long distance co...
A. 1 December 2021: Ah, OP
You need to "detox" from this person whom you never REALLY met and never REALLY knew.
She wasn't your soul mate. You just think she was. Yes, it can FEEL oh so real and oh so deep but she LIED about everything. She played "make-bel... (read in full...)
My mom doesn't want me to date till I am 20
Q. Hello! My mom says i shouldnt date until am 20above But how can i show her am matured enough to handle a relationship?...
A. 30 November 2021: I didn't date until I was 19. Simply because I hadn't met anyone I wanted to date. I had no limitation put on me by my parents I just didn't have any interest in dating.
I think FA is entirely right in that YOU have to "define" what you think da... (read in full...)
My friend is all about her boyfriend
Q. My friend is all around her new boyf. Her joy is overly as she calls him more than normal. i sound jealous but its true....
A. 29 November 2021: Many people are like this, they get a new partner, and the new partner and the relationship become the center of their universe. The "newness" will wear off and then she will want to hang out with friends again.
DO your own thing, hang out with... (read in full...)
Is 6 months after a divorce too early to date?
Q. I met this guy from my softball team about six months ago, that's right around the time he got divorced. He's 15 years older than me and has been with his ex wife for about 20 years, they share children but they are fully grown and do not live in ...
A. 29 November 2021: It's different for each person.
BUT I do think 6 months is kind of fast after 20 years of marriage.
I think it's highly likely if it moves "too fast" that you will just end up being a "rebound" someone to "help" him get over the end of the m... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend using her friends to control and manipulate me?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for just under 2 years but she’s letting her friends stick their noses into our relationship and it’s really starting to annoy me. I’m also beginning to think I’m being controlled and manipulated. Am I just ...
A. 28 November 2021: I think she has so little life/relationship experience that she doesn't trust herself to "know" what to do and how to handle things that pop up, so she goes to her friends for advice.
I think for a 20-year-old it's not uncommon.
However, to i... (read in full...)
How long do you wait for a man to propose?
Q. How long should you wait for a man to propose before accepting that it is not going to happen and move on? I'm in my early 30s and my partner is 40s wee have been together for almost 3 years now. I would say he is a good partner, good to my kid t...
A. 28 November 2021: First, OP, HE CAN NOT read your mind. You need to talk to him.
I'd say AT LEAST live together first, you might realize that this is or isn't the guy for you.
You don't have to put pressure on him (so to speak) but ask him if he has considered l... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex with a married man to get a baby?
Q. Dear Cupid, Am I wrong to have sex with a married man just to have a child? I am 41 years old and disabled, religious and quite successful in my career. I have met wonderful people during the course of my career, however, my love has never been r...
A. 28 November 2021: He is just using you, OP
I get that you feel this is the last chance for a kid, I think the only one who will really get "screwed" here is the kid.
What if he decides that HE thinks you are an unfit mother? That HE wants the kid? What then? ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves drugs and alcohol
Q. My bf is madly inlove with alcohol and also,takes drugs but at minimal Ive tried talking sense into him He doesn`t care!...
A. 28 November 2021: You can't "make" him quit. It would be nice if you could but it's not realistic.
So you might have to choose whether you want to date someone who is very much into drinking and drugs. It usually starts out with "minimal drugs" but that is not alwa... (read in full...)
A friend cut me off and now wants back in my life
Q. A good friend of mine cut me off a few months ago because she didn't like a decision I was making (See previous question for more details). She just texted me apologizing for what she did and hopes I can forgive her. And I'm not sure how to react...
A. 27 November 2021: If you could link your other post it might help the Aunties and Uncles.
... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to suggest moving in with him?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months and am spending more nights at his than I am at home. Is it too soon to suggest moving in together? On the one hand I genuinely think he'd jump at the idea as we hate being apart but on the other I'm worrie...
A. 26 November 2021: I think 9 months is a bit early - BUT that doesn't mean it won't work out.
Just make absolutely sure that YOU two talk budget, chores, and general house rules and expectations. BEFORE moving in.
Just ask him what he thinks about living tog... (read in full...)
I can't keep up wife my girlfriends entitlement
Q. Hello My gf and I have been together 2 years. All is well unless money comes up and then arguments begin. She has the tendency of over spending and expects me to cover her bills. Were not married and probably will never be as I see a very gr...
A. 26 November 2021: I'd simply tell you are not her parent and you aren't going to just buy her what she wants.
I think there are so many people today who don't understand that "want" and "need" are two different things. She might WANT a iPhone 13 but if SHE can't af... (read in full...)
Am I right to dump her now that she is in prison?
Q. My girlfriend has been sent to prison for the next couple of years at least and I don’t know whether or not to just throw in the towel on our relationship. I really don't think I can wait for her. Plus I’ve really started developing feelings for one ...
A. 26 November 2021: End it with your GF before you jump onto the next girl.
And for goodness sake, SLOW your roll. BE single a while. Take some time trying to figure out why you CHOSE to be in a relationship with someone like your GF.
Yes, it's definitely fair ... (read in full...)
My wife accuses me of cheating when I don't the says she will cheat to get even
Q. Hello, I work as a sales manager for a company where we sell a certain type of industrial product and sometimes I have to assist customers with on site repairs and solving issues. Today, I had such a problem. I told my wife when I left at arou...
A. 26 November 2021: What are you getting out of this marriage?
I mean, you work long hours, get accused of doing things you don't and you are being cheated on and also blamed for HER infidelity and lack of respect.
Find a good solicitor, set yourself free. A... (read in full...)
My husbands children are rude and mean
Q. I live with my husband My son whose 14 and my husband son who is 12.... my son is severely disabled... My husband has older children in their 20s and they are always crude when we see them we carnt do right for wrong the last meeting we took the...
A. 23 November 2021: Sit your husband down and lay it out for him.
That you want him to still see his older boys, but you and the younger boys need a break from the two older ones because they are being bullies.
So for a while, HE will have to go on his own to se... (read in full...)
I would like our one night stand to be more. We work together
Q. So. A few months ago me and a younger co worker went out for some friendly drinks. We ended up having a one night stand. We never spoke about it. Then a month or so ago we ended up kissing again. But nothing else. But We havnt spoken about it ...
A. 23 November 2021: I think if he was looking for a relationship he would AT LEAST have asked you out.
My guess is that when the Christmas parties start happening he might go for another roll in the hay.
How much younger is he?
How well do you know him (as... (read in full...)
I am beginning to wonder if my marriage or myself can be saved
Q. I moved from America to India to marry my husband 7 years ago. Things had been going well, but after almost 2 years in lockdown (very strict in Mumbai) I'm losing my mind. I don't speak any local languages and even if I did, I'd never have anyone ...
A. 23 November 2021: How about taking some classes in the language native to your country and area? I can't believe you have lived there for 7 years and haven't BOTHERED to learn the language!
If you can't find a tutor, try Babbel! Maybe someone in his family can help... (read in full...)
Menopause causing sexual problems and I am afraid of losing my husband
Q. Hi, I have been struggling with a really difficult situation and I could use some help here. I have been married for 10 years. My husband and I have always had an awesome sex life. He brought me to orgasm multiple times. I used to masturba...
A. 22 November 2021: Talk to your partner so he knows what is up, and then go see a gynecologist.
Part of it is "normal biology" but that doesn't mean you just have to accept it as it is. Hormonal therapy might be an option but we are not doctors so you DO need to ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am losing a good friend and don't know what to do
Q. Hi I'm wondering how grief can affect your thinking and maybe make you lose perspective. My friend recently lost a close relative.. Since then he doesn't seem to care about our friendship, starting telling me lies, going to night clubs and gettin...
A. 22 November 2021: People do react differently to grief. His way of coping seems really unhealthy, I would just let him know if he needs to talk, you will listen.
You are not his therapist, you can't fix his hurt. If he doesn't want to hear the truth, it's because ... (read in full...)
My husbands children are rude and mean
Q. I live with my husband My son whose 14 and my husband son who is 12.... my son is severely disabled... My husband has older children in their 20s and they are always crude when we see them we carnt do right for wrong the last meeting we took the...
A. 22 November 2021: Next time, take the two youngest out for lunch, your husband can GO alone to meet his other kids.
Your husband might get mad, but in the overall picture, IT IS YOUR job (and his) to protect the two younger kids. Your husband might not want to ... (read in full...)
I can't stand the fighting with him anymore
Q. Ohhh pleeeaaaassseeee help meeeee.... I am really on the point that i wanna leave him... inside of me is already shouting and crying.... my partner for 6 years is soooo much talkactive and he looove discussion sooo much and this turn us almost e...
A. 22 November 2021: OP, this is who he is. This is who he has been ever since you met him.
So what can we tell you other than leave him? Get you peace and quiet?
He sounds exhausting.
And it sounds like you don't enjoy him anymore.
YOU CAN NOT change him.... (read in full...)
My husband left me to live wit his male friend
Q. This is a strange situation but I'll ask anyway. My husband just upped and left me after 4 years of marriage (we've been together 9 years as a couple), went to live with his best friend, a 28-year-old, and now says he wants our 5-year-old daugh...
A. 22 November 2021: Well, as much as all this sucks there is a bright light here.
HE left you. Which is a "good" thing in many ways. He abandoned you and your daughter which gives you a bit of an advantage when it comes to custody.
I'd say TALK to a divorce lawyer... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes to do sexual things I am not comfortable with
Q. Hi I have been with my BF for over 4 years and most of the time I am so happy, but he can be when we are making love be a little rough and demand stuff.He kina wants to do stuff and one thing I do for him often is let him come over my face. I ...
A. 22 November 2021: OP, it's OK for you have have boundaries.
If you don't want sperm on your face you NEED to speak up. Pretending it's cool and that you like it when in reality you don't, is stupid. Because it makes sex more about HIM and HIS desires and you have... (read in full...)
Cowgirl with wide hipped man
Q. I want my wife to be on top more often. We have a problem, I have wide hips, my wife’s are smaller. It is uncomfortable for her to ride me. Are there any suggestions?...
A. 21 November 2021: Use an armchair instead of being on the bed?
... (read in full...)
He only sees me when it is convenient for him
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. I’m hoping you can give me some advise. I met an older man a few month ago. He has two children and he sees one of them quite often which I fully understand and I never say anything to him about when he sees them. We both h...
A. 21 November 2021: You are an entertainment and occasional companion, not a potential long-term partner to him.
My guess is that he ONLY sees you on his terms because it SUITS him to hold the "power" over when you get to spend time with him in person. And, you also... (read in full...)
Do I delete her on facebook?
Q. Hi aunts need your help with this one as it’s a strange situation to find myself in. so recently I bumped into a female from school who I’d known and she used to have this crush on me or so she says. we never got together at school, as I did...
A. 20 November 2021: Do you WANT to talk to her? Do you WANT her in your life or are you a bit indifferent?
If you aren't really keen to "get to know" her again, I'd just remove her. Because what is the point? Maybe she wanted access to snoop around?
Or just leave... (read in full...)
Can I save my marriage?
Q. Hello, So i got married in August 2021. I have been questioning the marriage/relationship for the last three months. So in September me and my partner decided to break up because both of us said we didnt think we were happy anymore. I left th...
A. 20 November 2021: OP, having had a failed marriage happens. It will NOT change WHO you are.
I think you need to sit down with him and ask, WHAT do you want and how do you think we can get there? MAKE him participate. (or offer him a role in making the choice, ... (read in full...)
Why do men have dalliance a but never leave their partner?
Q. Why do men cheat on their wives or girlfriends and tell them that they love them? And do their best to treat them well even though they are hurting them behind their backs? Even though they have side dalliances, why do they wish to never leave their ...
A. 20 November 2021: I think FA is spot on.
It's not just men who cheat. Unfortunately, cheating seems to be more common than not. Both with men and women.
After all, an affair takes two. (or more).
As to your questions "Why do men have dalliance but never leav... (read in full...)
Can I save my marriage?
Q. Hello, So i got married in August 2021. I have been questioning the marriage/relationship for the last three months. So in September me and my partner decided to break up because both of us said we didnt think we were happy anymore. I left th...
A. 20 November 2021: You two have known each other for 8 years before marriage, did you ever live together (just the two of you) before the wedding?
If not, why not?
And why are two people in their late 20's still living with a set of parents? Saving up for a ... (read in full...)
Is it over before it even really got started?
Q. I was seeing a male friend. (a) It was slowly progressing friendship. I began talking to another male friend, (B) (b) began to spread rumors about himself and me that we were engaging in sex. That wasn’t true at all. However my first male fr...
A. 5 November 2021: I'd cut B off. ASAP.
Whether B tells A the truth is moot. Because he might not believe it anyway. So A might be a non-starter.
And B? Immature asshat who I would NOT keep around in my life.
That IS however what can happen when you start "t... (read in full...)
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