My Girlfriend never let's me finish when we make love. Am I doing something wrong?
Q. This is my first time every doing anything like this, because i can usually solve problems myself, so please bare with me. But, this is different for me. My question is Ive been seeing this girl for almost 2 years it's crazy how we met but she's...
A. 13 June 2015: So because you pay for stuff you OWN her? You own the "mining rights" to her vagina?
Here is the thing, if YOU are not happy with the sex you are having, TALK to her, IF nothing changes and this is IMPORTANT to you, maybe you need to consider... (read in full...)
She's asked me twice to take her to the hospital, but something doesn't seem right!
Q. So this girl I've know for a couple of months has asked me to take her to the hospital now twice in a span of about 4 to 6 weeks. She'll kik me out of the blue telling me to take her but then apparently she turns her phone off because my messages ...
A. 9 June 2015: *Desperation makes you do stupid shit.*
Yes it does. That is why you need to practice some Common Sense. Stepping away from a situation that your INSTINCTS tell you to stay away from is common sense.
Maybe also set your aim a little higher th... (read in full...)
Blocked me, sometime later messaged me. Should I respond or delete the email ?
Q. If you fell out with a girlfriend/boyfriend and blocked them out of anger (if they thought you were trouble) - would you reply to them if they tried to send you a message or contacted you a year or two later? By the way - this is about a guy who ...
A. 9 June 2015: Do people ever forgive and forget?
Forgive yes, forget no.
And if you DON'T want contact, to talk to hear him out, make his e-mail go to the spam folder (not hard to set up) that way he can wrote all he wants and you will never see the e-mails.... (read in full...)
What can I do about feeling so confused? I think I've outgrown my partner.
Q. I need some opinions on my relationship of about a year and a half. I used to adore my partner but now I just care for him more as a friend. He seems lazy and slobbish lately, which of course makes me feel terrible but it also makes me want more...
A. 9 June 2015: Yes, it's time to walk away. First of all, if he is gaming non-stop and can't even BOTHER to take a 5-10 minute break to talk to you? Then he is still in a mindset where having a GF might not even BE a priority.
Feeling grossed out because ... (read in full...)
Why would my ex add me on Facebook only to delete me again?
Q. Hi guys I have a situation, Ive posted about this before. My last serious ex gaa got back in touch, I'm finding it strange. I'll tell what happened breifly. Everything was hunky dory he went to mqgaluf for his 21sr came back and apparently had ...
A. 9 June 2015: If you have NO NEED for him in your life, why not just block and un-friend him? Instead of this back and forth and wondering about what he thinks and does? It really doesn't MATTER what he thinks... HE is an ex. And an ex for a reason.
Don't... (read in full...)
He is the man of my dreams. Does an 8 year age gap matter?
Q. I have fallen in love with a man 8 years younger than me... I am 35 he is 27... Does this matter? I didn't know his age until very recently, I thought he was about my age, I thought he was 30/31. We've not yet had a sexual relationship but I do lov...
A. 9 June 2015: He isn't 15... He is 27. So don't think there is anything MORALLY "wrong" in seeing him, dating him etc.
IF he is single and YOU are single what is the problem? ... (read in full...)
How do I stop obsessing over my married ex who would like to have sex with me?
Q. Hi.I feel really embarrassed writing this but I feel like I need to vent and maybe get some advice. I used to be involved with this guy. I lost my virginity to him (he doesn't know) and ended up really falling for him. It never turned into a ...
A. 9 June 2015: What you see on the Internet is RARELY the reality.
Luxury vacations are nice, but if you have a cheating lying sack of crap for a husband.... does that even it out?
I have a niece who was at some point homeless, her kids were taken off her (h... (read in full...)
She's asked me twice to take her to the hospital, but something doesn't seem right!
Q. So this girl I've know for a couple of months has asked me to take her to the hospital now twice in a span of about 4 to 6 weeks. She'll kik me out of the blue telling me to take her but then apparently she turns her phone off because my messages ...
A. 9 June 2015: Amen! to YouWish's answer.
This makes no sense at all, IF it was an EMERGENCY, she can use 911 not KIK... seriously.
Block her and move on. You KNOW something is VERY iffy here. If she WAS trying to get away from a BF, she should tell you.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was unappreciative of the meal I cooked and he never wants to spend time with my family. I wanted our relationship to work but now I'm having second thoughts!
Q. My boyfriend can just irritate me so much sometimes. I brought over all the ingredients to his house to make BLT's. Instead of thanking me and being appreciative he complained I got wheat bread. Then he freaked out that I was cooking the bacon in ...
A. 9 June 2015: Gawds! I would have finished "cooking", then eat my sandwich and gone home...
What an ungrateful bugger.
While I personally NEVER cook bacon in the microwave or eat it cook that way (hubby used to cook it in the micro wave till his doctor told ... (read in full...)
Does he really want me to leave? Do I leave like he told me to?
Q. Ive been with my husband for 10 years, married for for 7 years on the 14th. Sometimes when we argue he tells me to pack my stuff and leave. I never do. But this time.. i'm really considering packing my things. Our arguments are always over ...
A. 9 June 2015: I think you two should TRY and figure out why these arguments (over PETTY hings) arise. Are you not doing so well financially? or are you not invested IN each other no more? It it more like 2 room-mates with kids?
I'd say, find a day get a babysi... (read in full...)
How do I stop obsessing over my married ex who would like to have sex with me?
Q. Hi.I feel really embarrassed writing this but I feel like I need to vent and maybe get some advice. I used to be involved with this guy. I lost my virginity to him (he doesn't know) and ended up really falling for him. It never turned into a ...
A. 9 June 2015: Sounds like you are totally OBLIVIOUS as to JUST haw big a bullet you dodged when he moved on!
He sounds like a nasty sleazy scumbag and you need to realize that HE isn't WORTH a minute more of your life!
BLOCK him, delete him, move on.
Now ... (read in full...)
I fell for my friend's ex but I think she was using me to get back at him because he cheated on her with a friend
Q. so i once asked advice about dating my friend's ex-girlfriend. it was well adviced here on cupid.we kept chatting though and we were getting too serious but stil not officially dating. long story short maybe she got talking with my friend again and ...
A. 9 June 2015: I think going after your friend's ex is NEVER a great idea. Specially one that likes to play games and I DO think... she was using you to get back at him. NOW she may also have liked you (still like you) but I think she wanted HIM to feel what SHE ... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend objects to me going alone with a guy to have coffee or see my new city!
Q. I am in a long distance relationship for a few months now,my boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years,im in a new city and I have made a few local friends!one of the guy said hel show me around we could have coffee and it sounds good to ...
A. 8 June 2015: As long as this new friend KNOWS you have a BF, I can't see how a cup of coffee can hurt.
I think you need to talk to your BF about boundaries and trust. If he can ACCEPT you have made new friends (either gender) he should be OK with you having c... (read in full...)
How do I find a guy who's okay with casual dating but no sex?
Q. I'm 21, and due to a host of reasons (depression/SA etc.) I've never had a boyfriend, though my social life and career is OK again. Or even been on a date. I'm physically attractive so do get offers, but I still want to spend some time on my own ...
A. 8 June 2015: I don't think you will find a whole lot of guy who wants to date you casually without sex, but a male friend? what's there to lose?
So why not make a male friend instead? You can hang out, go out and do things and sex shouldn't be in the equat... (read in full...)
My parents are basically planning to cut ties with my son and I once I move out to be with my fiance!
Q. My parents are basically planning to cut ties with my son and I once I move out to be with my fiance. It hurts a lot and I am not sure what to do. Long story in a nutshell-I was previously married. My parents moved overseas for three years and ...
A. 8 June 2015: Ah family! Gotta love em!
Well, not really. If your mom is toxic, maybe it IS for the better, not only for YOU but for your son to not have contact.
You can have a HAPPY life without being in contact with your parents. Personally, I wo... (read in full...)
I need help leaving this married man. I just can't do it!
Q. I have been here many times before. I am the loser who is in love with a married man. I know I need to leave but I just can't find it in myself to do it. I know he doesn't love me. He told me. And he told me he will never love me. I have ...
A. 8 June 2015: If he TOLD you he doesn't LOVE you then I fear he is telling you the TRUTH. He doesn't switch his feeling on an off, he played a part or an act while she was gone so YOU would ENTERTAIN him sexually and socially - now that she is back home, he no ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like a lesbian but the first time I saw a naked woman I got aroused! But I'm only strongly attracted to men! What gives?
Q. I'm a 17 year old female and as far as I've been concerned, I'm straight. I've only done things with boys and have feelings for boys, I could never see myself with a girl romantically or really sexually. But, lesbian porn and boobs do turn me on and ...
A. 8 June 2015: Being aroused by an image and being SEXUALLY interested are actually two different things. Finding a woman's body arousing, attractive, beautiful doesn't MEAN you now have to go re-label yourself or label yourself to lesbian/bi-sexual.
I find the... (read in full...)
Married three months and already I'm considering divorce. Can this marriage be saved?
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help me. I am considering divorcing my husband. We have only been married for three months. We lived together for 3.5 years before we got married. We finished college together, moved four times together, and now we are...
A. 8 June 2015: Why did you marry him?
I mean, I get that you love the guy... BUT without him having at least ATTEMPTED to resolve his issues BEFORE marriage how did you expect that marriage will fix anything? He is still the SAME messed up guy as BEFORE you exch... (read in full...)
Visited online: Am I being too impatient?
Q. I don't date often and tend not to date multiple people at once. I met a guy I am really interested in on a free online dating site two weeks ago, last weekend we went on a first date. It was a few drinks but the evening was great, as we par...
A. 8 June 2015: I'd just go slow with this one. If he has a couple of rather rough work-week ahead, I can understand him not feeling up to going out on a date... BUT not contacting you over a couple of days.. I don't know, calling for a 5-10 min conversation after ... (read in full...)
He just blows me off and then I don't hear from him for a while. What's his problem?
Q. So I've been seeing this guy lately. I have no clue what we are, at this point I think we are just hook up buddies I don't know. Anyways, every time he would ask to hang out or go out and I say yes he blows me off and I won't hear from him. ...
A. 8 June 2015: Yep, I'm with Cindy.
He treats you that way because YOU allow it. YOU are NOt doing anything "wrong" for him to act that way - you are doing yourself a disservice though BY allowing him to use you as a casual doormat.
You know what you should ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him? Are his actions a betrayal?
Q. My boyfriend of over a year has got a house mate who used to previously have history with him. It is only minor history, drunken kisses, but I have always had the feeling she fancied him and wanted more. When he started dating me, she has b...
A. 8 June 2015: Should you leave him? I say yes.
He likes having two girls fight over him, BUT he also shows YOU quite clearly that you are NOT as high "ranking" as her. Your "status" as GF is lower on the list then HER "status" as friend.
I think he is LETT... (read in full...)
Just how close has he been to this girl? And when? Is he confused or being confusing on purpose?
Q. So, I've been friends with this guy for almost four years. Less than 2 years ago he admitted he had feelings for me since he met me, I admitted I had previously felt similarly, but at that current time I didn't feel the same and we continued just ...
A. 8 June 2015: Since YOU claim you don't have feelings for him, it really shouldn't matter.
However, it is dishonest to "declare" your feelings for a girl while having a GF already. YET people do it ALL the time. It's like they WANT to make SURE they HAVE som... (read in full...)
How can I tell her I'm not going to visit her? Or should I visit her?
Q. My friend that I've known for about 4 years, okay let me add a back story first. She used to do meth, and I hated it I told her it was so stupid to pay money for something coffee can do. I got sucked in I took her to buy that stuff I didn't want ...
A. 8 June 2015: IS she still using drugs?
If she is still using I'd stay away. I'd find better things to do with my summer.... (read in full...)
Should one rely on male friends for emotional support?
Q. Human beings are social animals. We all like to be appriciated, loved and to be in good company. Of all relationships marriage can be most rewarding as well most punishing. When one goes through emotional turmoils, it very natural to find solace i...
A. 8 June 2015: I think it depends on SO many things.
1. Your friends (male & female)
2. you.
I think as a married woman.. relying on a male coworker for attention, solace and support... it's a pretty bad idea. He is a coworker first of all. Whate... (read in full...)
Should I try to resolve this or go easy on her? She continues to talk online with friends when I phone her to talk to her.
Q. Hello guys, A small problem,it's like we talk on the phone at night and what she does is while talking to me on the phone she stays online on whatsapp chatting with her friends. I tell her to go offline but she doesn't. Telling me that she's talkin...
A. 8 June 2015: I agree with Wise, go out on dates.
OR make the phone calls short and sweet.. If she seems distracted tell her bye, I'll let you get back to your friends. If she IS interested in talking to you she will realize she can't do both.
... (read in full...)
He's destroyed my self esteem. How do I move on from being used, by my ex?
Q. Hi All, I have a problem. I'm 27 born in the uk my ethnicity is caribbean. My nigerian boyfriend of 2yrs have been pretending to be in a relationship with me the whole we were together. He has dumped me before in 2013 saying he cant give me the ...
A. 8 June 2015: You don't NEED any "closure" - all you NEED is to accept that NO matter HOW much you think you love him, you can't CHANGE who he is. And... HE is an asshat.
BE glad he moved out. Make sure you change your lock, block and delete him from your lif... (read in full...)
Is he abusive or suffering a mental illness? Do I stay or go? What support might help?
Q. I would like an outsiders point of view. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months, but dated 3 years ago for about 9 months. He was my first for everything and I do love him deeply. He...
A. 8 June 2015: Unless you want to be 6 feet under with a tombstone above you... WALK (run) from this guy and relationship.
While I don't think your "friend" is any better - you aren't DATING that friend ( and I hope you would THINK of ever dating him either) ... (read in full...)
My Girlfriend never let's me finish when we make love. Am I doing something wrong?
Q. This is my first time every doing anything like this, because i can usually solve problems myself, so please bare with me. But, this is different for me. My question is Ive been seeing this girl for almost 2 years it's crazy how we met but she's...
A. 8 June 2015: Are you using condoms? Is she worried about you ejaculating INSIDE her?
Or like the other aunts mention, if you ARE big, no amount of lubricant will make it not painful.
Also, do you go "deep" ? If you do you could be hitting her uterus and w... (read in full...)
My friend says he's a controlling freak! He ended things cause I went dancing!
Q. My ex boyfriend (as of today) and I have dating for four months. But we argued over two things: my overzealous commitment to my family and my going out. I'm always working, always. I'm 23 and just two years ago, worked three jobs at once. Now I'm ...
A. 8 June 2015: You should be able to go out and go dancing with friends. You should NOT have to give him a complete itinerary of where you might be going. YOU were going out with friends, not meeting up with him.
Let him go.
You were not wrong, though I ... (read in full...)
My love life is falling apart again! My boyfriend seems to have lost his sex drive and I have a dear friend flirting with me making me feel desirable! What do I do?
Q. My love life is falling apart. I have a fantastic boyfriend who I love dearly. He is kind and sensitive and I really am the centre of his world. The issue is that for the past two months we haven't had sex. It's making me insecure. I've got issues ...
A. 8 June 2015: Talk to your BF, tell your friend to cut it out.
I get that you WANT to feel sexy and since your BF isn't doing that you seem to think it's OK that you get that attention fro ma friend, but you KNOW it's not OK.
Have you considered that ... (read in full...)
Two weeks ago he blocked me. Is it too soon to collect my things from his place?
Q. Dear Cupid It's been 2 weeks since my boyfriend blocked me everywhere apart from Facebook. I guess I can't call him fb anymore right. And he didn't officially dump me, but blocking kind of told me what I need to know. He blocks me often and he u...
A. 7 June 2015: You have a key? Or need for him to let you in?
If you have a key call him tell him I'm on my way over to pick up my stuff, if you don't want to face me, be gone from 3.30-4.30pm. (or whatever time) then go get your stuff and leave the key.
... (read in full...)
Why is she so upset about an email? She hugged everyone else and blanked me.
Q. Hi My question is about a girl I have known for a while. She is or used to be very friendly and speak to me no problem. Today I seen her at a event and she blanked me! She hugged everyone else and chatted away but didn't even smile at me? I'm ...
A. 7 June 2015: Since you are married why the FUSS on your behalf that she got offended? So what? Let the little girl throw a hissy fit and "blank" you....
She may NOT be a teenager, but she acted like one. Just let it go and ignore it.
She obviously think ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable that I feel hurt that he said he was disappointed - or was he just being honest ?
Q. Been seeing a guy for 3 weeks and all was going well. Last night we made out in his car and he asked me to be his gf, I said yes. After a little while he put his hand under my shirt which I wasn't ready for and I started to shake from nerves. H...
A. 7 June 2015: I agree. It was a foot in mouth expression, and I also think it's a red flag to go from "will you be my GF" to hand up your shirt in a few minutes. That means he ASKED you to be his GF to butter you up enough for sex.
Of course he was disappoi... (read in full...)
Was my Flat mate behaving inappropriately? Should I be feeling guilty in any way? Was I right to tell my Bf?
Q. Hi there Last night me and my flat mates went out and got very drunk together A song came on in the disco which reminded me of a friend who had passed away, so as i was drunk i got very emotional. My flat mates comforted me and were very ...
A. 7 June 2015: Was he drunk too?
Some people get a little to touchy feely when drunk and don't follow common sense - NOT that I am excusing his behavior, but in his mind he might have thought:" oh I should hug he and make her feel better." I had a male friend w... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable that I was shocked that my Bf made a video of himself masterbating?
Q. So I accidentally found a video on our lap top of my boyfriend masterbating. It really shocked me and made me upset. He says he made the video because he's curious about his body and he never sent the video to anyone. We've been together almost 2...
A. 6 June 2015: I think his excuse sounds a little off too, BUT then again, IF he is your age group.. I'm not entirely surprised. And I do think it's possible he is telling the truth.
He might have INTENDED to send it to someone, but never did.
Not to be mea... (read in full...)
I'm feeling a little guilty about the fantasy of who I think of when I masturbate, but should I be feeling so guilty?
Q. I've been happily married for a number of years and the sex life with my wife is great. However, I cannot stop masturbating with my wife's sister as the fantasy. My sex life with my wife is not suffering because of this, I have a very high sex dr...
A. 6 June 2015: Just because your WIFE can't keep up with your sex drive doesn't REALLY make it OK for you to OBJECTIFY your wife's sister, that is just YOUR justification.
Honestly, I find it a tad tacky and icky. I'm not saying you HAVE to only fantasiz... (read in full...)
I'm 23. Why is my mother so reluctant to meet my boyfriend?
Q. Why doesn't my mom want to meet my new boyfriend? I was in a really bad relationship with my now ex boyfriend, he treated me like shit. My mom though was ok with meeting him and supported me with whatever decisions I had made, including stayin...
A. 6 June 2015: Unfortunately when you LIVE with your parent(s) it's their house, their rules.
My guess is her strong reaction has to do with having watched you getting hurt by your ex. Which... wasn't ALL that long ago.
You have only been with him a few w... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling the way I do, about how his ex had a child easily and I'm having so many problems conceiving?
Q. I hope to have positive answers, not negative ones. Ok, so here it goes, My husband and I are trying to conceive, its difficult, many different reasons, I have an abnormal monthly. I don't ovulate as I should, I have whatever other problems wit...
A. 6 June 2015: I understand that it's upsetting to not be able to conceive easily, but... it's NOT his ex-wife's fault. she actually have NOTHING to do with it.
When you date/marry a guy who has been in either a marriage or relationship BEFORE he met you - HE... (read in full...)
I now know he lied to me about his ex, in order to break up with her, and be with me and it concerns me. Should I listen to my heart over this?
Q. I'm not sure how to handle the situation I'm in. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR and have been together about 2 years. We have plans to be engaged next year and move in together. However, there's something in my heart that I'm not able to let g...
A. 6 June 2015: "So why can't he just re-iterate those and not try to put the blame on her?"
Because it is EASIER to blame her. She can't speak up, she has no voice in this. My guess is... HE doesn't even THINK he did anything wrong. And... let's face it.. it ... (read in full...)
How do I instigate our breakup so we can stay on good terms?
Q. Hello agony Aunts, I need some advice. The current relationship i am in is my first, and it is also the first for my BF. We have been together for about 6/7 months. I have come to the conclusion that it is probably time to end it. He ...
A. 6 June 2015: You are welcome.
It is NEVER easy to break up with someone you care for even if it's no longer a relationship with a future.
All I can say is it doesn't GET any easier, but at least you know you didn't string him along, hoping HE would end it.... (read in full...)
My Bf's Mom told him to break up with me, though we are still dating. How do I handle her interference?
Q. I have been dating this guy we live together in our own little apartment for 2 years, 90% of our fights is about his mom and younger sister. His sister is the same age as me. His Mom and his sister will come to our apartment without me knowing ...
A. 6 June 2015: Good grief!!
I'm sorry to say this, but I would end this relationship. You are dating a MOMMA's boy who LET his mom/sister WALK all over you.
Now what I don't get is your problem with him going to the Mall with his niece/mom/sister... (read in full...)
Can a married man fall in love with another woman, yet never leave his wife?
Q. Can a married man fall in love with another woman he has been with for 2-3 years but never leave his wife?...
A. 6 June 2015: Yes, I think he can. It may NOT be the SAME kind of love he felt/feel for his wife, but more of a fantasy thing. It might be closer to infatuation than love. Because HE likes the fantasy he has with the OW/mistress but he doesn't WANT to ruin his ... (read in full...)
How do I instigate our breakup so we can stay on good terms?
Q. Hello agony Aunts, I need some advice. The current relationship i am in is my first, and it is also the first for my BF. We have been together for about 6/7 months. I have come to the conclusion that it is probably time to end it. He ...
A. 5 June 2015: I would be honest and tell him you feel you have lost the connection, that seeing each other once a month is not enough for you.
That you aren't mad at him, but feel you WANT more from a relationship than you are getting.
Then wish him well, a... (read in full...)
I now know he lied to me about his ex, in order to break up with her, and be with me and it concerns me. Should I listen to my heart over this?
Q. I'm not sure how to handle the situation I'm in. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR and have been together about 2 years. We have plans to be engaged next year and move in together. However, there's something in my heart that I'm not able to let g...
A. 5 June 2015: How do you know he lied about her?
Did he tell you, or did she? Or a third party?
I think the biggest thing here is, that you feel you were at fault in his break up too, because you believed in his lies.
BUT here is the thing, telling a guy... (read in full...)
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