Do you think it is worth me continuing to see him? Will his feelings for her fade with time?
Q. Dear aunties and uncles About a month ago I met a man who is 60, has been separated for 2 years and is currently going through a divorce. I am 55 and divorced. We have gone out together twice and each time have had a really wonderful fun tim...
A. 23 June 2015: Just tell him you have thought about it and think you two are better off as platonic friend. NO need to elaborate or even MENTION the other woman.
Then stick to being that, JUST friends. Having company is nice. Good company, even better. But DON'... (read in full...)
He wants time apart after our years together. Does this suggest that he's already seeing someone else?
Q. Why would my boyfriend after 22 yrs tell me that we need time apart ? i feel he has been seeing someone else he always makes me feel like im nobody to him ...
A. 23 June 2015: 22 years together and NOW he needs a break? It sounds odd. But I would give it to him and I would spend that time re-thinking the relationship.
I DO think he might want to BREAK up not just have a break. BUT talk to him. IF he insist he wants a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's parents aren't taking proper care of his little sister and I'm worried he may try to gain full custody of her!
Q. Hey everyone, This isn't a typical dear cupid topic, but it's about my boyfriend and his relationship with his family so I guess it's something.. Anyway. My boyfriend(20) of 4 years is seriously considering contacting social services about...
A. 23 June 2015: How is making sure his LITTLE sister (who is 10?) is OK THROWING away his life?
Yes, at 20, that WOULD be a great responsibility and I have to say it shows WHAT a great human being HE is for wanting to do this.
If he "just" becomes her lega... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who was missing one of their hands?
Q. My continued dating adventures have recently led me to confront this issue. Would you date someone who was missing one of their hands, and why or why not? I'm interested in all perspectives. ...
A. 23 June 2015: I'm with WiseOwlE
I have no problem with a "missing" hand, or arm, eye or leg (or whatever). I have met many really wonderful people who lost limbs while serving in the US military. And I have to FULLY agree that a missing limb has NOTHING ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my biological cousin, but we're both married. Should I back up and run before it's too late?
Q. I need help! I'm a 23 year old female who's catching feelings for her bio cousin. He is 22. We were raised together until about 6, when he was adopted out. I finally found him all these years later on Facebook. So here it is, a year later and we've ...
A. 22 June 2015: No one is doubting your "supermommy" abilities... Just you common sense.
And YES you WROTE (and I quote)
"He is married with kids just like i am. "
So I guess you are either trolling or changing your story because you are not hearing what you... (read in full...)
I don't want things to get uncomfortable at work, but could she be indicating that she likes me?
Q. I have this coworker, She have a BF who lives in New Jersey and we live in Texas and work at a restaurant together. She's sarcastic to me, sometimes laughs at my jokes, we hung out once at my house before work just watched tv for 30mins Tod...
A. 22 June 2015: Treat her as you would ANY other co-worker. IF she suggests "hooking- up" just tell her, no thanks. But for you to think you have to inform her that you don't want a hook-up is not necessary.
... (read in full...)
Has my girlfriend moved on? She doesn't return calls or texts
Q. Let me preface this by saying that she has gone into hibernation or "no contact" mode for days or a week or two before on several occasions, but this time around I have a feeling that she could have "moved on". We've been dating for many years b...
A. 22 June 2015: So this has been going on for all those "many years" you have been dating? If so, why is it any different now than "usual"?
It seems like an odd relationship where two people CHOOSE to not live together after MANY years of dating, but I suppose ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my biological cousin, but we're both married. Should I back up and run before it's too late?
Q. I need help! I'm a 23 year old female who's catching feelings for her bio cousin. He is 22. We were raised together until about 6, when he was adopted out. I finally found him all these years later on Facebook. So here it is, a year later and we've ...
A. 22 June 2015: Cousin or not, you know what you are doing is wrong. HOW would you feel if it was your HUSBAND sexting and having an emotional affair with some other woman? Not good, right? He would be a dog, pond-scum, a cheater..... NEED I say more?
GROW ... (read in full...)
Was it weird and randon that he never normally talks to me and yet at a party he chatted, asked me questions and added me on facebook? Is he interested in friendship or dating?
Q. Hi, So a few months ago, I was on a party and a guy was there, (he's 1 year younger than me). Then a few days later he added me on Facebook and started chatting with me and asking me questions and stuff, he was very nice but I found it weird and ...
A. 22 June 2015: I'd say he is either a little shy around you (in person) or a little intimidated by you and that is why he doesn't talk to you outside of social media.
One year is nothing as far as age difference. NOT if you are interested IN him.
Have YO... (read in full...)
How do I choose new boundaries when in the process of breaking up with someone?
Q. I feel it may be time for me to break up with my boyfriend, even though I love him, because we're incompatible in finances and maturity. It hurts me to think of doing a cold cut from him, especially since he's my longest relationship. When you...
A. 22 June 2015: Why would you need NEW boundaries? Just break up and CUT the contact. There really is no NEED to try and "pretend" you can be best friends and there is NO need to keep exes around.
I see it a LOT with people in their 20's wanting to stay "friends... (read in full...)
Is it generally normal for a Doctor to ask a patient if the patient is married?
Q. I had a followup with a female doctor/consultant after procedure. Big hospital, see different doctor each time usually, so probably won't see again. This one asked me if I am married, was very friendly and when I left told me how nice it was to know...
A. 22 June 2015: I think it's pretty normal.
IF the patient will be getting meds where she/he can't drive, or it needs to be rubbed on (let's say on the back) - I think it's a perfectly innocent question. Though, he/she could have asked IF the patient have som... (read in full...)
Has he got a compulsive addiction? Dating him for 4 years. My bf's unusual obsession is joining free dating sites.
Q. I have been in a relationship for more than 4 years. This has been held back by my bf's unusual obsession with joining free dating sites. It had been a good few months and I really thought he at last had learned his lesson. Clumsily he ac...
A. 22 June 2015: I agree with SVC
This is NOT a compulsion. Seriously. As someone who DOES suffer from OCD, I can tell you.. JOINING a dating site is NOT something he can't help himself doing. It's a CHOICE.
So he is FAR from perfect, he is cheating on you,... (read in full...)
I don't want things to get uncomfortable at work, but could she be indicating that she likes me?
Q. I have this coworker, She have a BF who lives in New Jersey and we live in Texas and work at a restaurant together. She's sarcastic to me, sometimes laughs at my jokes, we hung out once at my house before work just watched tv for 30mins Tod...
A. 22 June 2015: If she has a Bf she should be OFF limits for you. Does her calling you and going never mind sounds like she is interested? not really it's too little to go on.
But I can't reiterate it enough, when SOMEONE has a BF/GF they OUGHT to be off limi... (read in full...)
Why is this ex trying to turn friends against me?
Q. Why is an ex trying to turn my friends against me? I had a brief affair with a guy who was a bit of a player - chatting and flirting with women etc. I told him I didn't think I could be part of his life like it is and told one of my friends that ...
A. 22 June 2015: Who cares what he thinks? Hopefully your friend can think for themselves.
... (read in full...)
Our 12 year old son shows no interest in family life and ignores Father's day and Mother's day. How should I approach these issues with him?
Q. I have a 12 year old son. He dosn't show much interest in spending time with the family. His life revolves around computers, video games, and similar devices. We have tried installing firm and strict usage rules, and even downright a "ban" on compu...
A. 22 June 2015: He is 12, MANY 12 year old don't CARE about mother's day or father's day... Simply because it's NOT about them.
You say his life revolves around tech, so CUT the wi-fi and GO do things together, give him some chores, get out of the house WITH the... (read in full...)
My friend says it's emotional blackmail. My mother says breakup with him. He's my first ''proper'' relationship. What should I do?
Q. So I've been in a relationship for 2 years, I just turned 17 and I have known him for goodness knows how long, we went to primary together and I know people say going out with you best friend never work but I genuinely thought we did, until the last ...
A. 22 June 2015: Your mom is right, HE will only get worse.
JUST because he is your FIRST proper relationship doesn't MEAN he somehow OWNS you or that you can't grow apart.
Don't allow someone to talk to you like that, you HANG up if you are on the phone or get... (read in full...)
Do you think it is worth me continuing to see him? Will his feelings for her fade with time?
Q. Dear aunties and uncles About a month ago I met a man who is 60, has been separated for 2 years and is currently going through a divorce. I am 55 and divorced. We have gone out together twice and each time have had a really wonderful fun tim...
A. 21 June 2015: I would walk away. He might be a nice guy, but he is WANTING someone else, not you. YOU are the "spare" entertainment.
LET me ask you this, WHAT do you think would happen if she changed HER mind? And she wanted to date him after all?
I'll te... (read in full...)
Will I get pregnant if we cuddle and bath together? Is it Ok to do such things before marriage?
Q. My bf agreed not to have sex before marriage but told me he is interested in doing things with me like covering my breasts with cream and then licking it off by himself,cuddling and bathing together. Is it okay to do such things before marriage...
A. 21 June 2015: You know if you aren't CERTAIN these things are OK, why not ASK your mom.
My guess is you are asking US (strangers on the Internet) because we "might" tell you those things are "safe".
Where I'm from it wouldn't be a HUGE deal to do those thin... (read in full...)
I'm scared she'll meet someone else or never come back. How can I deal with and come to terms with my Gf's travel plans?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for two and half years now. I love her to pieces and have helped her through some tough times (her dad passing away being one of them). She's 19 and coming to the end of an apprenticeship whereas i'm 22 and run my o...
A. 21 June 2015: You can't PREVENT hurt feelings in life. Breaking up now is NOT going to prevent you from feeling hurt. Or her.
6 months is a good while but YOU can make it work IF you really want to. After all think of ALL the people who has to travel for work... (read in full...)
I know it's forbidden, and he has a girlfriend, but I want to confess me feelings for my teacher to my teacher. Should I do this? What should I do?
Q. should I confess to my teacher that I like him Hi,I'm a 15 year old who has a crush on her English teacher from last yr. He's 12 years older than me. He has a girlfriend who also happens to be my teacher. I've been crushing on him for 2 years now ...
A. 21 June 2015: Nisreen,
Having a GF or BF doesn't make you go BLIND. You still notice other people. Even children and teens. DOESN'T MEAN they don't love their partner.
I have been married 19 years - I still notice a handsome guy, I'm SURE my husband still no... (read in full...)
I know it's forbidden, and he has a girlfriend, but I want to confess me feelings for my teacher to my teacher. Should I do this? What should I do?
Q. should I confess to my teacher that I like him Hi,I'm a 15 year old who has a crush on her English teacher from last yr. He's 12 years older than me. He has a girlfriend who also happens to be my teacher. I've been crushing on him for 2 years now ...
A. 21 June 2015: Having a crush, a big time crush makes you think that it IS the MOST important event in the world, but it is NOT.
You can crush on Chris Evans or your teacher, but JUST because YOU feel that way, doesn't mean THEY return the sentiment, NOT that... (read in full...)
Overprotective mother, won't let me go out alone
Q. Hi there, So I wanted to go out with my boyfriend for a movie and some shopping. But I know my parents won't allow me to go out with a guy alone. So I said I was going out with friends which are girls.. And my mum pestered and questioned me ab...
A. 20 June 2015: It sounds like you fell into a HUGE generation gap - your parents follow old traditions, values and ideals (such as.. girls can't take care of themselves, think for themselves etc.) YOU on the other hand have been exposed to a more MODERN approach ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with him entirely instead of waiting on him to fix his finances?
Q. My bf and I have been together over 2 yrs. He's a good person but lacks maturity and impulse control in important areas, like finances. I He hid the condition of his finances til recently. He owes over $20k. He rationalizes his debt and overspe...
A. 20 June 2015: I would not tell him;" I WANT TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE!" I would tell him that you don't feel he is mature enough for the kind of relationship YOU want. That you two are a different places in life. Different books, different pages. That you wish him ... (read in full...)
Should I go and face her directly and tell her my feelings? She never responded when I sent a love letter via Facebook
Q. Hello... I had sent a love letter to a girl whom i liked in my office, but she never responded to a love letter and it's been 4 months since i sent her a love letter. Should i go and face her directly and ask her? The Girl already left the office o...
A. 20 June 2015: I'm sorry to maybe crush your hopes, but the FACT that she hasn't responded most likely means SHE doesn't reciprocate those feelings for you.
If you can HANDLE rejection, then go talk to her face-to-face, but it will not CHANGE how she feels, j... (read in full...)
Potentially getting back with an old flame but we still have nothing in common!
Q. Potentially getting back with an old flame... we fell MADLY in love a few summers ago.. it didn't work out for various reasons.. communication problems mostly and petty insecurities on both sides. It's been 2 1/2 years and we have both matured ...
A. 20 June 2015: You know, where I come from we have a saying about fireworks. NEVER GO BACK TO A DUD! I think it translate very well into relationships too. WHY do the SAME thing over and over and expect a different outcome?
Yes, you two might have grown up a lit... (read in full...)
I'm experiencing some stress but my boyfriend gets mad at me for my busy life! Why?
Q. I just got promoted and it's a lot of work! I'm a leader so I take it seriously but all the same, I enjoy it! Yesterday, I had to work 16 hours because someone had an emergency. He came to see me at work briefly which was nice. I got off work this ...
A. 20 June 2015: I think you are being a GREAT daughter and sister, and to me... THAT makes you a great human being. So don't feel bad about driving your mom and sister every morning.
YOUR BF might seem mad at you out of concern. Maybe he feels you are biting o... (read in full...)
Should I break up with him entirely instead of waiting on him to fix his finances?
Q. My bf and I have been together over 2 yrs. He's a good person but lacks maturity and impulse control in important areas, like finances. I He hid the condition of his finances til recently. He owes over $20k. He rationalizes his debt and overspe...
A. 20 June 2015: I would advice him to take advantage of the FREE financial counseling he can get through www.militaryonesource.mil or on post usually through ACS (Army Community Service).
BUT I would also consider that getting counseling (financial) is not goin... (read in full...)
I feel stuck. Do I just keep him as a text friend? Or disappear? I'm not attracted to him.
Q. I joined a dating site and got talking with a guy we get on and his pic looked good , but when he sent me another pic after talking for a while he looked different. I'll probably sound shallow now but there has to be some kind of attraction , hes ...
A. 20 June 2015: I wouldn't LIE to "spare" his feeling. I get that you don't want to hurt his feelings or come across as "mean". But I would tell him that you have thought a lot about it and you just don't feel you two have enough in common and you don't feel a ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend says the spark is gone, she wants to see other people then calls me crying wanting to know if I love her. What am I doing wrong?
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for a little over two years now. Everything started off great until about the one year mark. She started acting differently. She seemed to be unamused, bored, and irritable. Nothi...
A. 20 June 2015: Well, IF she wants to see other people I would end it, and let her go.
I do understand why she gets mad at "derogatory" statements because you know they are out of line. EVEN when they are not directed at anyone, it's still DEROGATORY and stupid. ... (read in full...)
My current Bf claims my vagina is too loose and accuses me of cheating. What else would make it feel loose to him?
Q. I had my daughter at the age of 14 through a c-section.. i have had several of sex partners in the years since then and no one has ever complained about my vagina except my current boyfriend. He believes i'm cheating on him cause he say my vagin...
A. 20 June 2015: Urh! You are SO young to have to DEAL with this crap.
YOUR vagina is (I BET YOU) not loose at all. Now if you were in your 50's, had had 5 11 lbs babies vaginally, right after each other it COULD be that your vagina had gotten a little loose... (read in full...)
Should I initiate and make a call? Or hope for the best?
Q. I have an acquaintance that about 6-8 weeks ago told me that he had someone he would like me to meet and that he would set up a night out (drinks and appetizers kind of night) for a few couples to get together so we could meet. I agreed to this. ...
A. 20 June 2015: Hmm, not sure if it was the "Acquaintance " who was stalling or the guy he has tried to set you up with. (maybe HE didn't want to be set up...)
So while my curiosity would be peeked... I'd say the ball is in his court - IF the "Acquain... (read in full...)
How can guys be so insincere? I was dating him for 2 months, but now I find he already has a Gf?
Q. I was dating with this guy from work almost 2 months. He told me yesterday and the day before he likes me and misses me. Today I asked him where he was at last night. He said he was in his gf's crib and that he was horny. I said, ^^^k him and d...
A. 20 June 2015: He told you, because you put him on the spot and he figured you'd back off if he mentioned the GF.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet - why waste any more time on him and what he think/does/say? Make him IRRELEVANT in your mind, heart and life... ... (read in full...)
What I don't understand is why the ladies never initiate contact with me to set up a game. Why not?
Q. I'm in my 40's and I like to play tennis. I've asked some ladies to play, and it's fun. (BTW I'm married, and most of them are too.) What I don't get, is why they never call/e-mail me to ask if I'm up for tennis. When I contact them, usuall...
A. 20 June 2015: If they do not follow up, my guess is... they are JUST being polite in agreeing to play a game of tennis.
Why not stick to asking male players for a while?... (read in full...)
I feel stuck. Do I just keep him as a text friend? Or disappear? I'm not attracted to him.
Q. I joined a dating site and got talking with a guy we get on and his pic looked good , but when he sent me another pic after talking for a while he looked different. I'll probably sound shallow now but there has to be some kind of attraction , hes ...
A. 20 June 2015: So he sent you an OLDER (I bet) picture to reel you in, and then a current one, because he thinks you now care enough to look past his faults.
I think I would just be slightly honest. Tell him you don't really feel a spark. I don't think you will... (read in full...)
Am I simply a single, twenty-two year old female lusting after a man twenty-four years my senior, or has this become a serious issue?
Q. I'll attempt to keep this as short as possible, while providing as much detail as I can. He and I work in different departments, but we see each other three out of four days a week. Whether it just be in passing or scheduled in the same general...
A. 20 June 2015: Err... Being separated doesn't MEAN single... It could be that his flirty behavior is WHY the wife kicked him out (or left him). So for now you are JUST some entertainment.
I would back off with the overt flirting as well, SPECIALLY because ... (read in full...)
Love love serve...what is he trying to say?
Q. I wrote a note and told this guy we have a attraction between us, he wrote me a note saying, love, love, serve and put 15 at the bottom, what is he trying to say?...
A. 20 June 2015: I think he is trying to say "the ball is in YOUR court".
But if you don't GET what he meant, ASK him. He might have thought it was a funny and charming way to show interest... but if you don't GET what he ACTUALLY meant (WE can only guess) i... (read in full...)
Overprotective mother, won't let me go out alone
Q. Hi there, So I wanted to go out with my boyfriend for a movie and some shopping. But I know my parents won't allow me to go out with a guy alone. So I said I was going out with friends which are girls.. And my mum pestered and questioned me ab...
A. 20 June 2015: Some cultural norms and ideas stick with us for a long time. If your family is very old fashioned, then there isn't MUCH you can do. EXCEPT, to show that you are WORTHY of their respect and trust.
Why not invite your BF over so he can MET your mom... (read in full...)
What is wrong with my boyfriend temper tantrums? Does he just want me for sex?
Q. I've known this guy from 2013, but he only told me that he had been trying to ask me out this year. So almost 2 months ago we officially started dating. He kept asking me to move in with him, talking about the number of kids he wants to have with me ...
A. 20 June 2015: He doesn't LOVE you. But he knows SAYING "I love you" ... get girls to drop their panties.
He wants you to be like beer on tap. That you just WAIT around for him to call. For you to ALWAYS be available to him, when you are NOT he gets moody an... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's family keeps telling her I"m not working hard enough and its upsetting her
Q. i had my gf crying to me today because apparently her family keep asking what im doing and telling her i should be doing this ie working more or some shit. it was hard to get information out of her of what exactly is being said. i told her it ignore ...
A. 19 June 2015: I don't think you could really have handled it in ANY other way.
I think they want to make SURE she is provided for (for the future) and I'm guessing here.. she is from Asian background? I have seen a LOT of posts where young Asian feel a LOT of p... (read in full...)
How can we save our relationship? He's controlling, has a temper, takes me for granted and he's not the man I fell in love with
Q. Hey there, I hope this won't be too long but I'll give a little back-story. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and I used to be crazy about him. He was in the military for the first 3 years, then moved back home and found a job - it was our ...
A. 19 June 2015: Could be he is feeling the stress of being a first time homeowner and he doesn't KNOW how to deal with the stress so he snaps at you.
As for snapping at you on HOW you hang the laundry - suggest that he can help you and show you how he likes HI... (read in full...)
He said he "was thinking about me while getting his lapdances,"and thinks it's not cheating. Should I give him another chance?
Q. My bf, J (23) and I(25) are both military and have been together nearly 3 yrs, mostly long distance (we're 10 hrs apart now). At the start, we made boundaries for cheating. Since we're both jealous, we said kissing, flirting and all the various ...
A. 19 June 2015: I agree with you OP.
A guy can say NO to having a lap dance. IF his PEERS (who by the way are all ADULTS not teenagers) teases him or calls him "whipped" he should know that it's not ABOUT being whipped, it's about respect.
What the anon... (read in full...)
My boyfriend acts like I'm controlling. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend randomly started saying he doesn't feel free when in reality he goes to bars without me sometimes and places without me and I don't go with him. He on the other hand doesn't want me to go to bars because his philosophy is that I will ...
A. 19 June 2015: Let him go do things by himself and YOU do things by YOURSELF. Once he sees that you ARE NOT sitting at home waiting for HIM to see you, he might change his tune.
WHO care that he think as a woman you will get hit on? So what? That is no reason f... (read in full...)
He said he "was thinking about me while getting his lapdances,"and thinks it's not cheating. Should I give him another chance?
Q. My bf, J (23) and I(25) are both military and have been together nearly 3 yrs, mostly long distance (we're 10 hrs apart now). At the start, we made boundaries for cheating. Since we're both jealous, we said kissing, flirting and all the various ...
A. 18 June 2015: Just remember don't be bitter over this. Don't beat yourself up either.
BE GLAD you found out now. Because he would have done this AFTER a wedding ceremony complete with lovely vows as well, and used the SAME excuse.
While it's a shame it took ... (read in full...)
He said he "was thinking about me while getting his lapdances,"and thinks it's not cheating. Should I give him another chance?
Q. My bf, J (23) and I(25) are both military and have been together nearly 3 yrs, mostly long distance (we're 10 hrs apart now). At the start, we made boundaries for cheating. Since we're both jealous, we said kissing, flirting and all the various ...
A. 18 June 2015: I don't think you should feel bad or lied too. The whole "I have a bad side" is what I'd call an "implant" something he will tell you and IF he messes up, he can claim that it was "the bad side" that came out... COP OUT.
I don't think he FORCED h... (read in full...)
He said he "was thinking about me while getting his lapdances,"and thinks it's not cheating. Should I give him another chance?
Q. My bf, J (23) and I(25) are both military and have been together nearly 3 yrs, mostly long distance (we're 10 hrs apart now). At the start, we made boundaries for cheating. Since we're both jealous, we said kissing, flirting and all the various ...
A. 16 June 2015: Oh what a thing to say! "was thinking about me while getting his lapdances" and "felt no emotional connection and was unattracted to her" SO WHY GET a lapdance, if he rather focus on you? Why get a lapdance if she was so unattractive?
Those... (read in full...)
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