He said he "was thinking about me while getting his lapdances,"and thinks it's not cheating. Should I give him another chance?
Q. My bf, J (23) and I(25) are both military and have been together nearly 3 yrs, mostly long distance (we're 10 hrs apart now). At the start, we made boundaries for cheating. Since we're both jealous, we said kissing, flirting and all the various ...
A. 19 June 2015: I agree with you OP.
A guy can say NO to having a lap dance. IF his PEERS (who by the way are all ADULTS not teenagers) teases him or calls him "whipped" he should know that it's not ABOUT being whipped, it's about respect.
What the anon... (read in full...)
My boyfriend acts like I'm controlling. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend randomly started saying he doesn't feel free when in reality he goes to bars without me sometimes and places without me and I don't go with him. He on the other hand doesn't want me to go to bars because his philosophy is that I will ...
A. 19 June 2015: Let him go do things by himself and YOU do things by YOURSELF. Once he sees that you ARE NOT sitting at home waiting for HIM to see you, he might change his tune.
WHO care that he think as a woman you will get hit on? So what? That is no reason f... (read in full...)
I get that he doesn't want this relationship to end, but why is he ignoring me?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up about a fortnight ago. Last weekend I ask if we could give each other our stuff back and he agreed saying he'd come over that weekend. He never came. He then called and text me twice through the week with how lonely and ...
A. 19 June 2015: Don't leave it up to him to BRING you your stuff. If you have stuff at his place and he has some at yours, PACK up his stuff, tell him to MET up with you in a neutral place with YOUR stuff. Then IF he bring is, you give him his, take your and cut ... (read in full...)
We've been seeing each other for 3 weeks and I'm feeling pressured to have sex. I'm disappointed
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 3 weeks and have just passionately kissed and cuddled. He is 10 years older. We met online and I feel am still getting to know him. We are going to a wedding reception at a neighbours next weekend and he has ...
A. 19 June 2015: I think you should tell him. 3 weeks is still PRETTY early and still in the "getting to know you phase". IF you are not ready, then you are not ready.
It should happen "organically", not because he wants it NOW. Though it's flattering that he ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend wants me to send him nude pictures and I have said No. What can I say to him? He is very angry with me.
Q. Hi, me and my boyfriend are dating for about 7-8 weeks now; I know him for 6 months now. We have been on dates kissed and he even touched and pressed my breast but we have never done anything more than that . now he is asking me to give him m...
A. 19 June 2015: NEVER do anything you are NOT comfortable with. And certainly NEVER with a guy who gets angry and treats you with disrespect.
My guess is he is hoping to do more than he is getting now, but NOT because he LOVES you. Because he thinks you will do ... (read in full...)
Is it weird to see if they would be interested in a date, after all these years?
Q. So i have a question for all you women. If you accidentally run across an old acquaintance after nearly 10 years (who you really didn't talk to very much) is it weird to see if they would be interested in a date? This person was coincidental...
A. 18 June 2015: Is she single?
If she is, then why not? What do you have to lose?
Would I find it strange? Well, since I'm a married woman I would :) BUT if I was single? I might give it a shot if you were interesting.... (read in full...)
He said he "was thinking about me while getting his lapdances,"and thinks it's not cheating. Should I give him another chance?
Q. My bf, J (23) and I(25) are both military and have been together nearly 3 yrs, mostly long distance (we're 10 hrs apart now). At the start, we made boundaries for cheating. Since we're both jealous, we said kissing, flirting and all the various ...
A. 18 June 2015: Just remember don't be bitter over this. Don't beat yourself up either.
BE GLAD you found out now. Because he would have done this AFTER a wedding ceremony complete with lovely vows as well, and used the SAME excuse.
While it's a shame it took ... (read in full...)
Am I playing with Fire wanting more out of this player?
Q. Hi, I have found myself deeply attracted to a "player" I have known of his past and all his sexual encounter/flings he has told me about them! We have been on 3 dates and the 4th one is scheduled for this week,we may either do lunch or dinner!...
A. 18 June 2015: If you can stick to a PLATONIC friendship then why not?
BUT I do find it pretty common that women think that if a player seems interested she can "change" him by being the "best GF in the World" and life... doesn't work that way.
He isn't inte... (read in full...)
What can I do about guys at work who are bullying me and treating me differently?
Q. Im a black woman who is not mixed. I have an online job and white guys are bulllying me. They know what I look like and they refuse to answer questions directly from me instead they relegate a woman to do this task. Sometimes during n...
A. 18 June 2015: Do you have a HR department?
I would screenshot things you think is inappropriate or discriminating and take it up with HR.
When you say one of the males will mirror you and the others will piggyback, do you mean he does it to poke fun of you?... (read in full...)
I told him not to treat me like an ONS
Q. I met a guy in February. We met twice and got along so well but due to work we hardly met up as I work weekends . He recently messaged asking to take me out and I agreed. We spent quality time and he told me his deep secrets and we got so close In ...
A. 18 June 2015: Don't text/call him any more. I think if he was GENUINELY interested in you, he would make more of an effort.
Did he use you? That is hard to say, he may not have done this on purpose, but he didn't really give much regards to your "I don't wa... (read in full...)
Was that night a hookup or something more?
Q. So there's this guy that I have liked for a long time. I have been crushing on him for a month. Me and him are friends but we talked occasionally. When we see each other we talk so much and joke around. We were texting one day and he stopped ...
A. 18 June 2015: I agree, if he doesn't ASK you out, but has no problem MAKING out with you, he isn't interested in you as a potential GF.
Some people can kiss anyone they find attractive when being drunk, doesn't mean they want anything serious.
I'd stick to ... (read in full...)
Is it weird to track your BF/GF's whereabouts on Find My Friends App on iPhone?
Q. What does everybody think of tracking your boyfriend or girlfriend's whereabouts on the Find My Friends App on iPhone? Where you use GPS to know exactly where they are on a map (or where their phone is) at any given time throughout the day... unless ...
A. 18 June 2015: OP has he ACTUALLY cheated on you? And you took him back? Or as far as you KNOW (for a fact) has he NOT cheated on you ?
That part you left out.
... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love someone after only 8 weeks?
Q. Is it possible to love someone after only 8 weeks? This man makes me feel amazing. I genuinely care about him. When he's happy, I'm happy. When he's sad, I'm sad. The connection we share is beyond anything I've ever experienced. I feel deeply ...
A. 18 June 2015: I'd say after 8 weeks? It's still mutual infatuation. But it can definitely grow into love.... (read in full...)
He said he "was thinking about me while getting his lapdances,"and thinks it's not cheating. Should I give him another chance?
Q. My bf, J (23) and I(25) are both military and have been together nearly 3 yrs, mostly long distance (we're 10 hrs apart now). At the start, we made boundaries for cheating. Since we're both jealous, we said kissing, flirting and all the various ...
A. 18 June 2015: I don't think you should feel bad or lied too. The whole "I have a bad side" is what I'd call an "implant" something he will tell you and IF he messes up, he can claim that it was "the bad side" that came out... COP OUT.
I don't think he FORCED h... (read in full...)
Is it weird to track your BF/GF's whereabouts on Find My Friends App on iPhone?
Q. What does everybody think of tracking your boyfriend or girlfriend's whereabouts on the Find My Friends App on iPhone? Where you use GPS to know exactly where they are on a map (or where their phone is) at any given time throughout the day... unless ...
A. 18 June 2015: I think saying that because the technology is available we should use it is SUCH a cop out.
OP you NEED to deal with these issues and insecurities because even though you can track him from here to Timbuktu, it WILL not make you trust him more... (read in full...)
Why was my wife so good to her cheating ex partners but I have to beg for sex?
Q. My wife and I are very happily married. However, in the past she was involved in very emotionally abusive relationships in the past where she put up with a lot of cheating and verbal abuse. She told me that she always tried to give more of herself ...
A. 18 June 2015: I think Cindy and WiseOwlE explained it REALLY well from a woman's view point.
And I think you have a bit of a skewed view of her former sex life. As you honestly have NO idea what it was like. And it really doesn't matter as she is NOW married ... (read in full...)
Should I dump him? Also he tells me I need a breast implant for sagging breasts !
Q. I have been with a 64 year old guy who flirts and talks about women constantly (always younger women)! He rarely tells me I'm nice looking (I'm 61), he stares at good looking younger women and likes to hang out at his son's gatherings to be aroun...
A. 18 June 2015: I agree with Ciar.
He is degrading himself more then anyone else. And really, why would you be with a man like that? He sounds like a delusional old windbag.... (read in full...)
My husband does nothing all day, How should I approach this?
Q. I have been married to a great man for 11 years, he is a little older than I. He retired from work about 2 years ago. Ever since he retired, he has been home all day everyday not doing much of anything at all, except watch tv. I don't think it's...
A. 18 June 2015: Could your son maybe try and get him to come fishing on week-ends? NOT that I think it's your son's job, but maybe that will get him started on doing SOMETHING!
My dad was laid off work after 25 years, it took him 2 years to find a permanen... (read in full...)
Is this bullying? Jealousy?
Q. I work with an older woman and she is quite an honest person. But there is honesty , and then there is going too far. I don't understand what her issue can be with me. She's always criticising my hair. ( I have a few split ends, a lot of people d...
A. 17 June 2015: I DO think it's partly jealousy, and partly because you "let" her get away with this.
I get being honest, I try to stick to it with ALL things in life. BUT I don't go around picking apart other people. I have 3 daughters, my JOB as a mother (... (read in full...)
He was separated, we shared a kiss, now somehow I'm a scarlet woman?
Q. Hello So I need a bit of advice on how to go about a certain situation. Years ago, I met a man through mutual a mutual friend on a night out. He told me he was separated and had moved out of the marital home 7 months earlier, which my friend ...
A. 17 June 2015: The typical double-standard issue.
SO many women DO this to other WOMEN. They blame their HUSBAND's indiscretion on the woman who was willing to kiss,date, sleep with their husband - BECAUSE it it easier to BLAME you, then live with a husband ... (read in full...)
Are there men out there willing to use condoms?
Q. I'm having a bit of an issue with birth control and I'm looking for some advice. I have tried so many types of birth control over the years: the injection; the implant and 4 different types of pill, and each of them have played havoc with my ...
A. 17 June 2015: I think men refusing condoms are a HUGE no-go.
I have NOT dated a guy (including my husband) who did NOT use condoms. And I would without doubt DUMP a guy if he REFUSED wearing them. BIRTH-CONTROL is NOT just a woman's "job". IT should be somethin... (read in full...)
What is a better option ? Freezing eggs now or wait for ivf with the right guy?
Q. Hi I'm just trying to prepare for my future and I really want a baby in the next 5 years maximum no later than that. Having not met my soulmate yet im thinking is there any point to freeze my eggs now? Or i heard that ivf works great a few of m...
A. 17 June 2015: I agree with Abella. TALK to your doctor/gyno
... (read in full...)
Are these really relationship red flags, or am I making a big deal out of nothing?
Q. My gut instinct is telling me this relationship is already flawed but I am inexperienced in dating. This man and I are in our mid 40's. I was married for 15 years ( no kids) and he has never been married. His longest relationship was 5 years. ...
A. 17 June 2015: Is this the guy who do the "adrenalin rush adventure vacations"?
Your post reminds me of a lady who was dating a guy who did the whole "he wanted someone that complemented rather than complicated his life." THAT statement ALONE tells a simply s... (read in full...)
Does he like me? Why would he not insist on me keeping the present?
Q. My boyfriend got me an expensive gift for our one year. I also made him something meaningful. I told him he didn't have to spend so much so I said i'll return it back to him. He smiled and said yes, once I find the receipt. He even asked if he ...
A. 17 June 2015: Yep you done messed up, girlie!~
Next time HAVE some manners, say thank you for the gift, I love it! and leave it at that.
Now you got HIM thinking that you didn't like what he bought. So he rather get the money back, can't say I blame him.
... (read in full...)
Ex-wife has alienated my daughter, please help...
Q. My ex-wife and I were separated for almost a year before she filed for divorce. I realize in hindsight that she was using the "threat" of divorce to make me see what I was going to lose in hopes that I would come crawling to her. However, I didn't ...
A. 16 June 2015: Yikes, THAT is a bad place to be in.
Some people fight dirty when they discover they lost their original hold on power, such as your ex wife. She thought she DIDN'T want to stay married, but when YOU agreed it no longer was what she wanted. ... (read in full...)
Met online. Do I move on or give him another chance? His need to 'control' bothered me.
Q. I joined a dating site hoping to meet new people and if i was lucky then to meet a guy and have a relationship with. I've been chatting to a guy for 3 week and we decided to meet. The date was ok. A couple of times he was on his phone selecting ...
A. 16 June 2015: Yep, OP you got lucky.
Just don't let this guy stop you from dating or looking for a guy to date. With online dating you might have to dig through a LOT of profiles who are either fake or heavily "embroidered" on. Some will sound GOOD on "paper",... (read in full...)
He said he "was thinking about me while getting his lapdances,"and thinks it's not cheating. Should I give him another chance?
Q. My bf, J (23) and I(25) are both military and have been together nearly 3 yrs, mostly long distance (we're 10 hrs apart now). At the start, we made boundaries for cheating. Since we're both jealous, we said kissing, flirting and all the various ...
A. 16 June 2015: Oh what a thing to say! "was thinking about me while getting his lapdances" and "felt no emotional connection and was unattracted to her" SO WHY GET a lapdance, if he rather focus on you? Why get a lapdance if she was so unattractive?
Those... (read in full...)
How much should a partner pay for 'board' in their partners home?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year now and recently got engaged at the beginning of the year. He moved out home and moved into mine (i have a mortgage). We agreed he would pay a certain amount a week to cover bills. I pa...
A. 16 June 2015: So He lives OFF you but only contributes $80 a month? I would NOT be OK with this and I would sit him down and SHOW him the COSTS of living in your place.
He should WANT to help you out. UNLESS HE is doing all the cooking, cleaning and maintena... (read in full...)
Wedding and friend issue: Am I justified in still feeling so angry and hurt? Why should I forgive and forget as she wants me to do?
Q. Struggling to move on after best friend break up. At this point, I feel like my friendship with my BFF is basically over, or at the very least, has become a simple, yet strained acquaintance-ship. In a nutshell, bff and I have been bff's for 20...
A. 15 June 2015: So you were HER MoH, and she expected YOU to make her your MoH as well, which would in a sense of "etiquette" make sense. You could have made your SISTER Maid of Honor and your BFF MATRON of honor (as she is married - so no more a maid).
THIS ... (read in full...)
Is it weird to track your BF/GF's whereabouts on Find My Friends App on iPhone?
Q. What does everybody think of tracking your boyfriend or girlfriend's whereabouts on the Find My Friends App on iPhone? Where you use GPS to know exactly where they are on a map (or where their phone is) at any given time throughout the day... unless ...
A. 15 June 2015: I find it invasive and creepy.
Knowing where he is (or rather his phone) doesn't PROVE a darn thing when it comes to being faithful. I think it will lull someone into a false sense of security knowing where their partner is.
BUT... I do u... (read in full...)
Why do guys keep fading away from me so quickly?
Q. Hello, I am a single female struggling to navigate dating in this hookup age. I have tried online unsuccessfully and did not like the unnatural feeling of it. I'm also shy with men and struggled with that. I recently practiced talking to gu...
A. 15 June 2015: I think picking up guys in a bar is NOT the right place for you.
I'd honestly think you had WAY better luck meeting guys you have something in common with, like at a cooking class, painting class, hiking group or something like that. Maybe ev... (read in full...)
Wedding and friend issue: Am I justified in still feeling so angry and hurt? Why should I forgive and forget as she wants me to do?
Q. Struggling to move on after best friend break up. At this point, I feel like my friendship with my BFF is basically over, or at the very least, has become a simple, yet strained acquaintance-ship. In a nutshell, bff and I have been bff's for 20...
A. 15 June 2015: As nice as the gesture is to give the "honor" to your deceased sister..... I do understand why she felt it was a slap in the face. She PERFORMED the MOH duties and you "demoted" her basically to a brides maid.
You need to either LET it go or let t... (read in full...)
Am I justified in feeling really worried that this secret will get out?
Q. The other night I fooled around with this guy who has a gf and I feel so guilty. I don't even fancy him at all i was sooo drunk I know it's not an exuse but I never usually get that drunk and I'm absolutely disgusted in my self now and can't stop...
A. 15 June 2015: Well, not much YOU can do now. For him to ALMOST threaten you is kind of pathetic, AS he is the one with a GF. HE cheated on HER. (though you "helped" him cheat).
Sometimes we make mistakes. Learn from it. Maybe cut down a BIT on the alcohol ... (read in full...)
Going to University in September. Will people think I'm strange if I'm wary of random hook-ups and the club scene?
Q. I will be going to University in September but I am really worried about the whole club scene. I am a pretty girl but I don't want people to come up to me and expect certain things. I will never have sex with anyone randomly and I have to be in a ...
A. 15 June 2015: Make some friends, observe and do what FEELS right to you.
I had a blast in college, lots of studying, lots of work and... quite a bit of partying. I NEVER once had a casual hook up or sex with anyone I wasn't in a relationship with. Some of my fe... (read in full...)
Help me get a second chance!
Q. My gf and I were together for over 6 years, and although we had our problems we were happy. I'm 2 years younger than her (29/31), so for that reason she was always asking me for more commitment. I asked her to move in but that wasn't enough ap...
A. 15 June 2015: I agree fully with Cindy.
After 6 years YOU DO know if you want to marry someone or not.. Not the whole... maybe some day...
She wants different thing than you do. No if, ends or buts about it.
... (read in full...)
Do I just try to ride this out? Is it me who's causing him to change?
Q. My boyfriend has started a new business in the last 6 months.he works 5.30am to 9.00pm Monday to Friday with a bit of a break in the afternoon. And works half day Saturday. I understand that he's tired but in the last week or two he has become m...
A. 15 June 2015: I think the guy is stressed. And he may not handle it as well as he wants to. He might think admitting that he is stressed/worried makes him seem "weak".
I would however let him know that snapping at you is not OK and I would WALK away if he do... (read in full...)
Why all the inaction in between? Does he really like me, or is he just bored?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for a little over 2 years. Last year, we attempted to date but when he didn't seem to value our relationship as much as i did, i drew back and ended it. I figured if he actually wanted to get into something serious ...
A. 15 June 2015: I'm with Auntie eyeswideopen, texting is NOT conversing. It might be a generational thing, but you CAN NOT conduct a good and healthy relationship over texting.
I will even wager that if you took that last -34 weeks worth of texting from him to y... (read in full...)
Met online. Do I move on or give him another chance? His need to 'control' bothered me.
Q. I joined a dating site hoping to meet new people and if i was lucky then to meet a guy and have a relationship with. I've been chatting to a guy for 3 week and we decided to meet. The date was ok. A couple of times he was on his phone selecting ...
A. 15 June 2015: I'd say pass on this one.
Your intuition raised a few little flags, so WHY ignore them ? Yes, it's not nice to interrupt - but when we are in the process of getting to know someone it's QUITE common to jump into a sentence - for him to repriman... (read in full...)
His attitude towards me wanting a child in the future is affecting how I treat his 3 year old!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. He has a three year old son with another woman. They only dated for about a month and accidentally got pregnant and things didn't work out between them. I was originally ok with the situation. I ...
A. 15 June 2015: OH btw.... Forgot to add this:
DO not take your resentment out on a 3 year old, that is JUST petty!
This is between YOU and him.
... (read in full...)
Has he really changed, should I give him a second chance?
Q. For a year, I was in a relationship with someone who I loved, of course, but he didn't seem very dedicated. He never told his parents about us. He was never as eager as I was to talk or go out. We didn't see each other every day or even each week ...
A. 15 June 2015: I'd say move on. You two had a crappy LDR and now that YOU dumped him... he has "changed" and can actually PAY attention to you.
Go and tell him, I'm blocking your number and info because I NEED to move on, I'm not interested in dating you agai... (read in full...)
I think this 19 year old girl is using me.
Q. I'm 34 and I dated a 19 year old last year. She came to the US as a foreign exchange student. I got to know her when she first came over, but didn't persue anything till a few years later. Basically my question is, I feel used. I feel she came ...
A. 15 June 2015: You tell her bye bye ....
My guess is she did USE you as a way to come back to the US, she doesn't however see you as a potential date or BF. YOU on the other hand seem to think that because she came to the US she somehow owes you sex? An your ego... (read in full...)
His attitude towards me wanting a child in the future is affecting how I treat his 3 year old!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years. He has a three year old son with another woman. They only dated for about a month and accidentally got pregnant and things didn't work out between them. I was originally ok with the situation. I ...
A. 15 June 2015: This is one of those deal-breaker issues that NEEDS to be sorted out.
Him saying he might perhaps someday he doesn't know ya-da ya-da is him NOT wanting you to leave him. He DOES know if he wants kids or not, but he thinks by giving you HOPE tha... (read in full...)
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