He's always talking about his ex. Will this phase out or I should I get out?
Q. We are three weeks into dating, having met 3 times, there's been calls, messages and he is reliable as he initiates communication. I really like him. I have a different look to what he's normally dated, but he compliments me and says he's attracted ...
A. 13 July 2015: Don't take it as a failure or loss OR that this is YOUR fault - it's NOT. The guy shouldn't BE on dating sites if he isn't READY to date.
Better "luck" next time!... (read in full...)
Sex or affection more important? I feel rejected
Q. I'm confused I don't know what's more important affection or sex ? Me and my bf haven't had sex in about a month. I tryed to make the first move than he said no you don't deserve it (we had argued 2 days prior) and this happens frequently he ...
A. 11 July 2015: I think IF I were you, I'd find a job, at least part time. Because if this keeps going down hill, you will NEED to be able to take care of yourself financially.
Financial problems cause a LOT of problems that people may not really pay attentio... (read in full...)
Sex or affection more important? I feel rejected
Q. I'm confused I don't know what's more important affection or sex ? Me and my bf haven't had sex in about a month. I tryed to make the first move than he said no you don't deserve it (we had argued 2 days prior) and this happens frequently he ...
A. 11 July 2015: I think it's his way of maintaining some kind of control in the relationship.
I would pull back with the trying to initiate a little bit. And I would sit him down (after the kid is in bed, so it's just you two) and talk. There is somethin... (read in full...)
If my bf really loves me why does he want me to have sex with other partners?
Q. I've been dating my bf since Jan 2015. I'm 18 and he's 35. Big age gap I know but love has no boundary. My family likes him and him and I know very well that we're each other's life partner. However I believe that because of his age he is too le...
A. 11 July 2015: I think there are a few things here you NEED to think about.
1. the age gap. I'm NOT against age gaps, but... 18 and 35? IS too bug for a 18 year old. YOU are barely AN adult (no offense we have all been there) HE is 35 so he's been around t... (read in full...)
Girl I've been seeing for 9 months is on a holiday with girlfriends. What can I do to keep my mind off her ?
Q. Hi everyone, I have a quick question. The girl I've been seeing for about 9 months has gone on holiday today with 3 other single friends (a few of them are meeting people too) but what I want to know is how I can not be wondering what she's ...
A. 10 July 2015: So you two are "technically" NOT a couple - you are FWB kind of thing?
If so, she is FREE to do as she pleases on vacation, though you two do have a sorta exclusivity agreement. You know that rarely works long term.
If you don't think she ... (read in full...)
Do we all have a soul mate or soul mates? What signalled for you that a particular person was the ''one''?
Q. Questions for the men and women on this site. 1 ) how old were you when you found the " one "? 2) did u ever give up waiting? 3) were u ever jealous if someone find their special someone before you? 4) do you believe in waiting for that spec...
A. 10 July 2015: I want to start bu saying I DO NOT believe in a "soul mate" - I ADORE the idea that we are created as a pair - salt and pepper shakers, but I don't believe it's so. WAY to many variables for that to actually work. Some people are JUST a better fit ... (read in full...)
He has a Gf and they are expecting a baby. I do miss him. Should I proceed to reconnect with him?
Q. I'll try to make this short and sweet. About 4/5 years ago I started dealing with a high school friend. We were dealing with each other for a little over 2 years when I found out he had a girlfriend. Who turned out to be a girl we went to school ...
A. 10 July 2015: Oh jeeez girl, let this asshat GO. Kick him out of your life, out of your heart and you mind.
WHY on earth waste ANY more time on a guy who REALLY deep down DO NOT care for or about you?
You are his rodeo clown. Someone to distract and ent... (read in full...)
Passcodes on phones. Should we each know each other's passcode?
Q. My BF knows the passcode on my iphone.. I don't really need to hide anything from him so for me is ok if he just grab my phone. But he has his own phone and I don't have access to his passcode.. I feel it's not right. I did talk about this in the ...
A. 10 July 2015: I agree with change your password.
YOU both have right to privacy. And hopefully you can BOTH trust each other to BEHAVE like decent people.
Once you have changed it, he might ask you why - so I'd be blunt and say IF you can have your phone ... (read in full...)
I'm concerned over my father's "friendship" with a younger women.
Q. I'm concerned over my father's "friendship" with a younger women. Threw his work he met a girl in her late 20s. I couldn't help myself look her up on FB she's very pretty and has a toddler. My Father looks after the property's for a landlord h...
A. 9 July 2015: Well, OP I hope your Dad will take to heart what you said to him.
Middle-aged men (sorry guy) are sometimes REMARKABLY stupid when it comes to younger women. I don't know what it is, but I have seen it many times. All we can do is shake our head... (read in full...)
No communication since Christmas and he's blocked me. So how do I get him out of my head?
Q. Hi, I had a bad fall out 6 months back with a guy who blocked me on both phone and Facebook. I am doing pretty well so far, getting on with life and work and not feeling depressed or anything - however I STILL think of him on a daily basis and ...
A. 9 July 2015: Is it normal that you want to be "friends" with someone who was "pretty horrible to you" - I don't think so, but seems like a lot of women wants to keep men who was NOT NICE to them, IN their lives, instead of cutting the "dead meat".
What ... (read in full...)
Sharing cost 50/50 in relationship?? How does it work?
Q. I been seeing this guy for about 4 months now. When we usually go out he pays for dinner, movies, or anything else we do. I help to pay here and there. Mostly he is the one paying. The other day, he ask that we should share the cost 50/50 and that ...
A. 9 July 2015: I'd just say, BE prepared to part YOUR part of the meal when going out.
Which means if you are low on funds let him know that you can't afford expensive places or just suggest a cookout at home. He can bring the drinks & snacks, you will make the... (read in full...)
I am starting to think no man will accept my body but I can't do anything about it so what is someone like me to do?
Q. I've been seeing a man for the past few months and a few nights ago I was foolish enough to get intimate with him. After two days of not hearing from him, I attempted to contact him and he texted me saying in a nutshell that I'm a really nice wo...
A. 9 July 2015: I have a TON of scars, I was an active kid/teen which resulted in many ER visits.
I have a HUGE scar from reconstructive knee surgery on one leg and several scars on the other legs from various injuries. I have a scar on my throat ( had a huge m... (read in full...)
He (A) treats me right but there is another guy (B) I like more. What can I do, seeing B is not interested?
Q. So i have been seeing this guy for about two months now and he is really nice he treats me right and even gets a little jealous when i talk to other men which i find really cute but the problem is i really like someone else and i dont know what to ...
A. 9 July 2015: I'm with Notsohappy
I say neither. The one you are with, is NOT who you WANT to be with, so it's NOT fair to string him along, just so YOU won't be single. And I agree with SCV, him being jealous is NOT cute.
The second you you pine for is ... (read in full...)
He's always talking about his ex. Will this phase out or I should I get out?
Q. We are three weeks into dating, having met 3 times, there's been calls, messages and he is reliable as he initiates communication. I really like him. I have a different look to what he's normally dated, but he compliments me and says he's attracted ...
A. 9 July 2015: Urgh. I would guess is isn't aware of JUST how much he talks about her, but like Notsohappy pointed out, it's annoying and inconsiderate - and I would bring it up. We all have a past but that doesn't mean we NEED to DRAG the ex into the ... (read in full...)
I discovered he was on sex sites before we met, what would you do?
Q. Hey everyone..... Just looking for some advice in regards to my situation please :) After a very very bad relationship, I remained single for the past 5 years or so..... Basically to build myself back up and also I just didn't have the time or...
A. 9 July 2015: That would be a TOTAL turn off for me too. And I can't fault you for googling his e-mail/name either, I actually think that is a smart thing to do.
My worry would be that he HAS been doing causal hook up sex with people and MAY continue it on th... (read in full...)
Is my Bf facing a troubled future due to his work ethic? Am I being naive about this?
Q. My bf and I have been together for almost two years. He is almost 30 years old. His view on working is that it is bondage and he hates the idea of working years and years. He's been laid off twice since we've been together. The first time it was ...
A. 9 July 2015: I understand your concerns and I think naive or not, YOU do know that it's more than just him having had a couple of sucky jobs. IT is about his ethics.
He wants FAST money, with little effort. And he is NOT being realistic at all as far as REALI... (read in full...)
I'm falling for him! (But cannot afford to)
Q. Hello everyone. Been a while. So here's the deal: I'm now in my mid thirties and very single. I've been happy about my life so far. I got out of a toxic relationship about 5 years ago and have not dated since then. I've been enjoying my free...
A. 8 July 2015: I agree with eyeswideopen, you NEED to cut the contact. You can be polite IF/WHEN you met him around town, but I would STIP with the phone-calls ,texting etc.
Trying to pretend that you CAN be a friend is not working out for you, so better j... (read in full...)
Was he trying to make me jealous?
Q. This guy and started talking we went out a few times he always text me first . And I will text him every once in awhile but he was being shady so I just gave up completely on him I really liked him and I wanted to move on because he's an asshole. So ...
A. 8 July 2015: Don't feel bad for cutting him out of your life. Someone who doesn't TREAT you right is not someone you NEED in your life.
It's OK, you DID the right thing.... (read in full...)
He told me his booked a night at a hotel for me, should I say I'm busy?
Q. Been on three dates with this Asian man, I'm Caucasian. On the first date he was very pedantic about the fact he wanted to pick me up, and pay for everything, we had some coffee, he then took me to see a movie in which he insisted it probably isn't ...
A. 8 July 2015: I will give the same advice as I did to your post the other day.
THIS guy is moving WAY to fast. He wants you "barefoot and pregnant chained to the stow" - I mean, he bring up that in HIS culture the man works and the woman stays at home. YOU are ... (read in full...)
My ex-boyfriend acts like we're still together, but says he doesn't want me. How do I respond?
Q. I'll apologise for the long post but I'm in a very confusing place and desperately need advice. My now-ex boyfriend broke up with me at the end of April. Two days after we broke up, I went to his house and spoke to him about it. After we'd finis...
A. 8 July 2015: Urgh, EDIT
My advice, STOP with all the "couply" think,
Should have been:
My advice, STOP with all the "couply" things,
... (read in full...)
Is this a one-sided relationship? My Gf seems to love the things I do for her, not who I am.
Q. Okay so I just want to tell the story of my relationship and get other's input. So I'm a junior in college and studying engineering at one of the toughest universities, so I don't have a lot of time for girls, but I have put as much time as I c...
A. 8 July 2015: I think it is a bit one-sided, but I think it's because she is till very young and a bit immature. And I think I would cut down on the "doing things for her" because you SEEM to think, that IF you do things for her, SHE should do things for you. ... (read in full...)
My ex-boyfriend acts like we're still together, but says he doesn't want me. How do I respond?
Q. I'll apologise for the long post but I'm in a very confusing place and desperately need advice. My now-ex boyfriend broke up with me at the end of April. Two days after we broke up, I went to his house and spoke to him about it. After we'd finis...
A. 8 July 2015: I think he ABSOLUTELY loves the idea of you two together, but... in reality.. he doesn't.
He isn't sure of you and him, when he is by himself. When you are around he seems to enjoy it, I get why you are so confused.
You two broke up without... (read in full...)
My wedding day was wonderful and since then I've been crying. When can I feel better?
Q. I was wondering if what I'm feeling is normal... I got married almost 4 months ago. I'm not one who particularly enjoys weddings and hated the entire process of organising my own. I wanted an intimate party but as my husband has a big family...
A. 8 July 2015: I absolute agree with celtic_tiger
TIME to stop being the bride and be the wife.
A wedding is a SYMBOL of the union between two people. NOTHING more. A marriage is the REALITY of two people deciding to be together, and it takes work.
I... (read in full...)
What is more person in relating to people, and why does it get awkward or at times distant when face to face?
Q. Example: you send a tweet or a social media message or a text to someone and when yu meet in person it may be: hard to make conversation a little awkward maybe they may be cold or seem uninterested why cant written communication t...
A. 8 July 2015: Practice.
Many people are SIMPLY forgetting how to small chat. Why? Because we do in a way (like Janniepeg calls it) live in a virtual world.
When chatting online with someone you don't know, YOUR imagination fills in the blanks. That is ... (read in full...)
Was he trying to make me jealous?
Q. This guy and started talking we went out a few times he always text me first . And I will text him every once in awhile but he was being shady so I just gave up completely on him I really liked him and I wanted to move on because he's an asshole. So ...
A. 8 July 2015: You did the right thing in NOT telling him you found someone new (none of his business) and IN blocking his number (there is no point in talking to this shady guy).
I don't think he texted you to make you jealous, but to see if you would "bite" -... (read in full...)
When I finally did ask her out she said she had a Bf. So why does she keep asking about me?
Q. hi I saw this woman at the beauty supply store when I was trying to find my moma a wig for her head. The woman that was helping me and moma was beautiful and have the personality to go with it. I begin to like her right then.. but I then want to...
A. 8 July 2015: If she says she has a BF, then she HAS a BF and that means, she is off limits to you.
She was being polite to your sister, that is why she asked questions - that is HOW you have a polite conversation you talk, listen and ask each other question... (read in full...)
Do other people get so tired of being oppressed for so long that one day they just snap like I did?
Q. Over the Fourth of July my boyfriend got mad at me because he thought my American shorts I wanted to wear were too slutty so I didn't wear them but I could tell it kind of made him in a bad mood for awhile. We went to a park to watch fireworks with ...
A. 8 July 2015: So move out!
You can't fix him. And you seem utterly unhappy being with him.
I know it's not easy to live with a person with PTSD, but since HE chooses to DO nothing about it, it WILL not get better and WHY submit yourself to that? Why settle... (read in full...)
We've been talking for 8 months and still no sex!
Q. I need help..Ive been talking to this girl for about almost 8 months and we havent had sex yet. She telling me to wait and I'll ask for it when i want too. Im really into this girl, always bring her out, pay, buy surprise gifts and love talking to ...
A. 8 July 2015: Dear OP, PLEASE read WiseOwlE advice.
Buying her stuff, taking her out doesn't mean she OWES you sex.
If you feel that she should show gratitude by "repaying" you in sex, you need to re-think your approach. Stop buying her things. SERIOUSL... (read in full...)
My last relationship didn't end well and now I'm worried this new one may not end well because I no longer trust my judgment!
Q. My last relationship did not end well. We were together for 6 years, the last 2 or so of which we weren't happy as we had grown apart and weren't right for eachother anymore (I was only 18 when we got together, 15 when we met). After forcing ...
A. 8 July 2015: I don't think you can go by your FIRST relationship how bad/good at picking a partner you are.
You were 15 when you met. 18 when you started dating. 24 when it ended. WHAT you want at 15, 18 and 24 might be absolutely different. And there was NOT ... (read in full...)
Do other people get so tired of being oppressed for so long that one day they just snap like I did?
Q. Over the Fourth of July my boyfriend got mad at me because he thought my American shorts I wanted to wear were too slutty so I didn't wear them but I could tell it kind of made him in a bad mood for awhile. We went to a park to watch fireworks with ...
A. 8 July 2015: I get that you got mad and went off. What I don't get is that YOU (A GROWN WOMAN) let a BF dictate what you are going to wear. SO what if he thinks your shorts are slutty? Are the shorts going to run of a screw a guy in front of him?
The shorts a... (read in full...)
What do you think of men secretly taking nude photos and videos of their wives?
Q. I've visited some forums about men secretly taking pictures of their wives while they are nude, either during sexual contact and without them being aware in other areas, such as disrobing. According to the forums some of the men do this because ...
A. 7 July 2015: I think it shows a TOTAL lack of respect and empathy. No respect for the wife/SO/GF/spouse as a PERSON or her/his right to privacy either.
To see your wife's body as sexual pieces of meat that YOU (as a spouse) "owns" the right to do with as you p... (read in full...)
Why didn't this man take his chance to take things further?
Q. Why did he lead me on and then vanish? I recently met a man who was 51 on a dating site! He was consistent in his chase, then the spooning pics started and on our 4th date he gave all the signals that he was thinking of inviting me to spend the nig...
A. 7 July 2015: I'd stop wondering, to be honest. There is no way of knowing WHY he chose to not go further and WHY he chose to not contact you again. All WE can do is guess.
1. Why didn't he go further? He might not have been SURE that is what you wanted. ... (read in full...)
Why is my wife spending so much time sleeping, while meanwhile our sex life is non existent?
Q. My wife recently went away for a few days with friends. While she was away, we chatted on the phone everyday. However, for the past few months she's been sleeping all the time and she's also put on weight and she's still gaining. Her weight doesn't ...
A. 7 July 2015: Then re-read your post. All I can go by what what you write.
It's not about me being "mean", it's about you PAYING attention to the REAL issue - which her her SLEEPING way more than normal, the FOCUS on your post is YOU not getting sex.
... (read in full...)
We are both out of work and he says he is aggravated and has issues with his son. Is that enough to cause him to not want sex?
Q. Is it normal for guys to be distant and not want sex when they are stressed? We live together and are both out of work. He is also having issues with his son.He just says he is aggravated. Not sure how to handle this. He says we are around each o...
A. 7 July 2015: Yes, I think him not wanting sex is fairly normal. Stress hormones can make you gain weight and lose your libido.
He is disappointed in himself, he feels the stress and as a failure = playing video-games can be his escape.
I do think you two ou... (read in full...)
I didn't handle things well with this girl should I even try to contact her again?
Q. About this time last year I started speaking to a girl on an online dating website. We talked pretty freely and I was genuinely starting to like her. We had begun to make preparations to meet for a date, when I got an offer to move abroad for ...
A. 7 July 2015: Why not MAN UP and contact (AFTER you get home) and BE honest with her? That the job didn't work out, that you STILL thought about her and that you may have panicked a little a year ago?
The "worst" that can happen is that she tells you "no than... (read in full...)
Meeting people you admire and being disapointed, it is ok to feel this way?
Q. Recently a friend met a theatre actress after a stage show she admired, and though the actress took a photo with her ( and even sent a tweet the next day,)she seemed rushed when she her and others and not interested in chatting There wer...
A. 7 July 2015: I agree with Aidan
Your friend thought a couple of "tweets" meant that SHE now KNOWS the actress and the actress gives a flying fart about her. IT doesn't.
Today's actors "WORK" social media, just like other people.
It's UNREALISTIC of y... (read in full...)
Monogamous person in a polyamorous relationship. Suggestions/thoughts?
Q. Hello everyone. I would like to detail about a predicament that has risen within the past few weeks involving a close friend of mine and a potential relationship occurring with her and would really appreciate any insight regarding this. Let me gi...
A. 7 July 2015: Don't, just don't.
She SAYS she is in a poly relationship, YET if it was a true poly you would BE introduced and AGREED upon by her other mate.
SHE wants to have you on the side. Basically CHEAT on her BF. She is bored in her current relation... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him to message me subsequent to Tinder date? Or can I message him?
Q. I went on a Tinder date today. Having been on a couple before that weren't brilliant, I was wary. However, this date seemed to go really well. We met for coffee, which he paid for and we chatted for a few hours. When we met he told me I looked great ...
A. 7 July 2015: I agree, a short - thanks for yesterday, I had a nice time.
Then no more. If he is interested, he knows how to get hold of you.
... (read in full...)
Why is my wife spending so much time sleeping, while meanwhile our sex life is non existent?
Q. My wife recently went away for a few days with friends. While she was away, we chatted on the phone everyday. However, for the past few months she's been sleeping all the time and she's also put on weight and she's still gaining. Her weight doesn't ...
A. 7 July 2015: Could be quite a few things going on medically with your wife.
One could be depression, which comes with a lowered libido - then ADD your CONSTANT pressure for SEX - I mean I get it, you want sex, share some intimacy, enjoy your marriage... (read in full...)
What are my rights to the sex tape we made?
Q. Me and my ex-boyfriend made a sex tape when we were together but now we’ve split up I’m petrified he’ll post it online to humiliate me. I’m 23 and my ex is 24. We were together for 2 years and engaged at one point. But the relationship broke down a ...
A. 7 July 2015: If you have a halfway decent break up and still talking I'd ask him to met up, then ask him to delete it.
You are a grown woman, you have every right to make tapes with a long term partner. And you have every right to ASK him (actually demand) ... (read in full...)
She is a newer employee. Why would our boss give her preferential treatment not offered to the rest of us?
Q. My boss gave a female cowoker 'blocked days' off that were forbidden to the rest of us.. A manager refused to give her those days. Then she asked the head manager, who gave her anything. Even the better work schedule. She's newer than most of us....
A. 6 July 2015: She might BE getting special treatment. She might excel at brown nosing OR excel at her work which have gained her the extra shifts.
Is she by any chance related to one of the bigger bosses? Or a friend of a friend?
... (read in full...)
I wish he would mention me when he messages with his ex!
Q. My boyfriend hasn't seen his wife for two years he just has to send the papers for divorce when he gets more money. Problem is she still messages him all the time with a variety of things some asking for the divorce papers some calling him very bad ...
A. 6 July 2015: It sounds like they shared a not so great marriage, with ups and downs.
He had to DEAL with her as HE sees fit, she is after all HIS wife. And she WILL be his wife till the day the papers are signed and filed.
My guess is he DOESN'T rub you ... (read in full...)
Were these good or bad signs about this guy?
Q. So I went on a date with a guy who came across as very intelligent, confident etc. He was very pedantic about the fact he wanted to pick me up, and pay for everything, we had some coffee, he then took me to see a movie in which he insisted it ...
A. 6 July 2015: He is 30 and ready to settle down.
You are 20... and still learning the ropes. My guess is your "youth" is one of the reasons he likes you. YOU being so young might mean that you will defer to him and his "wisdom".
If you like him, I'd suggest... (read in full...)
She is a newer employee. Why would our boss give her preferential treatment not offered to the rest of us?
Q. My boss gave a female cowoker 'blocked days' off that were forbidden to the rest of us.. A manager refused to give her those days. Then she asked the head manager, who gave her anything. Even the better work schedule. She's newer than most of us....
A. 6 July 2015: Could have been part of her contract. I know in one of the jobs I had, I got certain weeks off in summer as my family had made plans for a huge family bash in the Mediterranean, and there was no way I was going to miss that.
Or it could be even ... (read in full...)
I'm concerned over my father's "friendship" with a younger women.
Q. I'm concerned over my father's "friendship" with a younger women. Threw his work he met a girl in her late 20s. I couldn't help myself look her up on FB she's very pretty and has a toddler. My Father looks after the property's for a landlord h...
A. 5 July 2015: I understand how you feel. It's not nice seeing your father act like a moron over a woman, just to have his ego stroked.
Have you asked your dad why he thinks it's appropriate to take this chick for lunch etc.? Now he may "claim" that he is just ... (read in full...)
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