How can I determine and confirm if he just wants sex?
Q. I met a guy online and we talked for a few weeks before having our first date today at a coffee shop. We had a lot in common and he said very sweet things to me, which made me think he liked me. He knew that I was a virgin and that I had never...
A. 16 July 2015: Good grief! GROW the heck up. It isn't about feminism (though it' a shame you don't grasp THAT concept either)
And thanks Cindy for trying to explain the "slut" point. I figured it was pretty clear myself....
So OP call yourself a slut ... (read in full...)
Have I messed things up with guy I met online?
Q. Hey guys..... So I met a guy online and I'm totally new to the online dating thing, and not sure If I'm entirely comfortable........ So we went on a couple of dates and things seemed to be going well, he said he liked me and I do really like ...
A. 15 July 2015: I think with your update OP, that Cindy nailed that guy.
If he suddenly did a "vanishing act" after you did NOT want to sext/talk sex/share pics etc. then it was probably because he felt after 2-3 dates and some chatting she should be ready fo... (read in full...)
I know we can NEVER be together.. but how do I emotionally detach myself?
Q. How do you detach yourself from someone you know you can NEVER be with? There's this guy I've kind of fallen for and there's no chance of it going anywhere other than friendship so how can I pull away without him really knowing I'm doing so. If he ...
A. 15 July 2015: I'd go cold turkey - tell him WHY, wish him well and then CUT all contact. DELETE all info, so you don't feel tempted.
Then spend time with family and friend and doing things you enjoy to help you not think about him so much.
That's what I... (read in full...)
My girlfriends brother asked me some inappropriate questions about mine and her sex life. Should I be concerned?
Q. I met an Asian girl from Singapore a few years ago and she has been my girlfriend for three years now, about six weeks ago I met her family for the first time. The first time I was alone with my girlfriend's brother he started to ask me some ver...
A. 15 July 2015: It would be NONE of your business where he sleeps. Just like it's none of his what you do in bed with his sister....
Though.. I find it a tad creepy for an adult male to sleep with him mom.
Maybe he is sleeping there to give you and your GF spac... (read in full...)
I know we can NEVER be together.. but how do I emotionally detach myself?
Q. How do you detach yourself from someone you know you can NEVER be with? There's this guy I've kind of fallen for and there's no chance of it going anywhere other than friendship so how can I pull away without him really knowing I'm doing so. If he ...
A. 15 July 2015: See now THAT makes more sense, no point in hiding that!
I still say, I'd cut the contact because WHILE you two keep the contact and the "fantasy" of being together alive you are holding yourselves back from meeting SOMEONE who could be a GREAT fi... (read in full...)
Why is he so commitment phobic? Is he frightened of commitment?
Q. I am a 51 year old women who looks quite young for my age. I work as Air Cabin Crew and also as a college lecturer. I met up with my first love a few days ago after not seeing him for over 12 years. He came to me in a dream and I felt it was a ...
A. 14 July 2015: So maybe just enjoy the EX as a friend? Do things together but no sex since you want a relationship to go with the sex.
I would look elsewhere, without doubt, for a life partner though.... (read in full...)
I know we can NEVER be together.. but how do I emotionally detach myself?
Q. How do you detach yourself from someone you know you can NEVER be with? There's this guy I've kind of fallen for and there's no chance of it going anywhere other than friendship so how can I pull away without him really knowing I'm doing so. If he ...
A. 14 July 2015: TELL him that you can not longer continue the "friendship" - GROW a set (of ovaries) and be honest with the guy.
After that... CUT the contact. Block and DELETE his number. Remove him from FB, all apps and social sites.
Why you can't "tell us" ... (read in full...)
My husband is convinced I have cheated on him, but I have been nothing but faithful.. should I stay or should I go?
Q. Help! My husband thinks I have cheated on him. We have been married 9 years and sex was great at first until he started accusing me of cheating because my vagina was too loose, it didn't feel the same.ilove him and have been faithful too him the ...
A. 14 July 2015: Your husband is an ignorant fool. To put it mildly.
YOUR vagina didn't get "loose" because you had sex with someone else or even 10 someone else!
You vagina got "looser" over the years because your estrogen levels are dropping - the vagina is ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends brother asked me some inappropriate questions about mine and her sex life. Should I be concerned?
Q. I met an Asian girl from Singapore a few years ago and she has been my girlfriend for three years now, about six weeks ago I met her family for the first time. The first time I was alone with my girlfriend's brother he started to ask me some ver...
A. 14 July 2015: Why not simply say, I have no intentions of giving you any details of MY sex life, because it's none of your business.... (read in full...)
Me and my boyfriend both had a drunken kiss with other people. However, now he is ignoring me completely. How do I deal with his double standards?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. My boyfriend, a few months ago, made out with a girl for like a minute, and he told me about it and regretted it so much, and I ended up forgiving him. A couple weeks ago, I made out with a guy, ...
A. 14 July 2015: TELL him. That you do regret the mistake, but that you find his attitude and double standard baffling.
My guess is HE presumed you would have LEARNED from HIS stupid mistake (kissing another girl) and never do it yourself. OR he presume that gir... (read in full...)
Why is he so commitment phobic? Is he frightened of commitment?
Q. I am a 51 year old women who looks quite young for my age. I work as Air Cabin Crew and also as a college lecturer. I met up with my first love a few days ago after not seeing him for over 12 years. He came to me in a dream and I felt it was a ...
A. 14 July 2015: Seems like you are looking for a replacement for your "Children's father" and this blast from the past seemed at first glance a good option.
But the reason you POSTED this question is because you KNOW he is not. YOU might feel "sad" that he hasn'... (read in full...)
Is this acceptable? Recently started dating but he wants that fact to remain a secret.
Q. We recently started dating and he told me he wants us to stay a secret. My family knows but he is afraid his conservative dad will be upset with him. I know I need to wait to see if this relationship is going anywhere but is this a red flag? Should ...
A. 14 July 2015: For me, this would not be acceptable. Sorry, I would not want to be ANY man's dirty little secret.
If he isn't allowed to date, well then he isn't allowed to date.... hiding the relationship makes him shady.... (read in full...)
How can I determine and confirm if he just wants sex?
Q. I met a guy online and we talked for a few weeks before having our first date today at a coffee shop. We had a lot in common and he said very sweet things to me, which made me think he liked me. He knew that I was a virgin and that I had never...
A. 14 July 2015: First off, drop the term slut. Don't use it for yourself or any other woman ever again.
Second of all, HE took advantage of you inexperience and you curiosity. YOU told him you were uncomfortable and HE didn't stop! That is a red flag. HE shoul... (read in full...)
Have I messed things up with guy I met online?
Q. Hey guys..... So I met a guy online and I'm totally new to the online dating thing, and not sure If I'm entirely comfortable........ So we went on a couple of dates and things seemed to be going well, he said he liked me and I do really like ...
A. 14 July 2015: I think modern day online dating can be more complicated than it should be.
1. I DO agree that for WOMEN if you start to ignore someone, it's usually because the interest is gone and the woman is hoping the guy will "catch" the hint that she isn'... (read in full...)
Do you think spending time apart can mend this relationship?
Q. I live with my boyfriend of four years lived together two and things the past year have been hard. He has recently told me that he does love me but he has fallen out of love with me and feels the only way to see if we can ever get back to what we ...
A. 14 July 2015: Amen to all that WiseOwlE said.
I think people in general who thinks a "break" fixes anything are either afraid of making tough choices or unable to accept reality.
Taking a "break" doesn't fix the ISSUE that caused the NEED for the break in... (read in full...)
What are my options as far as my cold guy friend? The only time he is affectionate is when we have sex
Q. I have been going out with my bf for 2 years and he has taken me on some lovely holidays but he has never bought me a birthday card or a present although he has bought me Christmas presents. When asked about this he just says that as he pays for...
A. 14 July 2015: You should check out 5 Love languages.
You seem to think a person should show LOVE by buying things, he feels HE already did, it's just not a "present" that he could wrap (vacation).
For me though, if I ONLY had affection during sex, I'd ... (read in full...)
Is this acceptable? Recently started dating but he wants that fact to remain a secret.
Q. We recently started dating and he told me he wants us to stay a secret. My family knows but he is afraid his conservative dad will be upset with him. I know I need to wait to see if this relationship is going anywhere but is this a red flag? Should ...
A. 14 July 2015: Well, it depends how long it's a secret. If you two are still in the "initial stage" of getting to know each other, I don't see it as a red flag..
BUT if you have been dating a while? Yes, red flag.... (read in full...)
Guy sending me a girl's photo? Is he trying to make me jealous?
Q. Hello, so here is a guy that I saw at a party then he added me later on social media and talked to me. At first he kept asking normal question and convo lasted for a 15 minutes maximum. He talked to me again after a week or so and also did the...
A. 14 July 2015: Sending "hint" doesn't work at any age, men are JUST not mind readers (neither are women).
So I would just stop being available to chat online, maybe consider either removing him or limiting his "access" to you.
Not flirting back might make ... (read in full...)
I know he doesn't want to be with me, I don't necessarily want him but I don't want to be used!
Q. I have recently met a man but I am struggling with how I feel. Basically he is one of those people who gets with a lot of women and is very casual, and seems somewhat hung up over his ex-girlfriend. He says things like 'It would work now but he's ...
A. 13 July 2015: Yep, you MUST do it FOR you... not for him. But because it's the BEST for you.
Don't settle for half-ass ANYTHING, including guys and relationships.... (read in full...)
I want to give oral sex to my girlfriend, but unsure how to proceed.
Q. Hello! I really want to give oral sex to my girl, however I am really inexperienced. Her vagina is really "salty" and has a slight unpleasing smell. I can feel it on my fingers whenever I finger her, and it tastes salty. From doing my own res...
A. 13 July 2015: If you are not a "fan" of her taste there is ALWAYS cling film (Saran Wrap) that will NOT interfere with giving her head.
And you can pop a mint which might give her a little tingle as well.
Try different things and PAY attention to how... (read in full...)
I know he doesn't want to be with me, I don't necessarily want him but I don't want to be used!
Q. I have recently met a man but I am struggling with how I feel. Basically he is one of those people who gets with a lot of women and is very casual, and seems somewhat hung up over his ex-girlfriend. He says things like 'It would work now but he's ...
A. 13 July 2015: BLOCK & delete his number, block, remove and unfriend on EVERY app and social site.
DENY him access to you and YOU to him. Don't keep his number ANYWHERE after you block & delete it.
It's a CHOICE. YOU "choose" to keep him around, now CHOO... (read in full...)
I know he doesn't want to be with me, I don't necessarily want him but I don't want to be used!
Q. I have recently met a man but I am struggling with how I feel. Basically he is one of those people who gets with a lot of women and is very casual, and seems somewhat hung up over his ex-girlfriend. He says things like 'It would work now but he's ...
A. 13 July 2015: So cut him off~ HE is not going to stop doing (using) it just because you TELL him you don't want to be used. Your actions doesn't match your words.
He is messing around with you, because you ARE available.
Listen to your gut that says:" I WA... (read in full...)
Can I trust my female friend? I know she is lying to me but I'm unsure of why she is
Q. Can I trust my female friend? A friend who I thought was a friend is seeing a guy I like behind my back. I know it is none of my business - but when I confronted her she played it down and pretended nothing was going on, when all I wanted w...
A. 13 July 2015: I think she doesn't want you to be mad at her. However lying is rarely the way to maintain a friendship.
If I were you I would "change" her status (in your mind) from friend to acquaintance. Friends don't do shady thing, NOT even to "spare" ... (read in full...)
Should I make a final attempt to salvage a friendship? Or just let it die a slow death?
Q. Should I make a final attempt to salvage a friendship? Best friend and I had a major falling out several months ago and the friendship just hasn't been the same. She apologized for what happened, and I told her I was going to try to accept that a...
A. 13 July 2015: She apologized, you ACCEPTED. The wanting to KEEP kicking the "dead horse" is NOT helping either of you. YOU need to ACCEPT to agree to disagree.
YOU are trying to CONVINCE her that YOU were right and she was wrong and eat some more humble p... (read in full...)
It is possible that a guy doesn't know if he cums or not?
Q. Okay so this is rather embarrassing to ask but how does guy not tell if he cums or not? I mean is that normal? My fiancé and i wanted to try something neither of us have done before so we decided to have sex in water. He said hed pull out before he ...
A. 13 July 2015: Lesson from this? DON'T have unprotected sex if you can't sure what you are doing.
Pretty sure he KNOWS if he came or not. He might not have know if he was "all the way" out when he did.
... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend allowing his parents to control his life?
Q. So...I met this guy online about 7 months ago. We hit it off as soon as we met in person about a month later, and the rest has been history, except for a few insecurities that I am starting to have. He's my age (24..25 this year), and is gr...
A. 13 July 2015: He "allows" them to control him, because THEY are paying for the "party". It is EASIER for him to move back home when he is done with the degree, because he will get room and board for FREE.
Everyone moves in different speeds. YOU have been out... (read in full...)
I do not want to marry or have children. My mother thinks this is an unhealthy attitide
Q. I am someone who does not want to get married or have children and would like to get some input on others who have made this decision. I am not anti social or anything, but I enjoy being and living alone. I work and have friends and go out occas...
A. 13 July 2015: ONLY you can make this choice, not your mom, not your friends, not total strangers on the Internet.
IF NOT getting married and/or NOT having kids is HOW you see yourself in the future, then GO for it.
There are thousands of kids born into t... (read in full...)
How can I build up the strength to NOT go back to him? His behaviour has been inconsistent and confusing
Q. I need some help finding out how to move on from a terrible, emotionally abusive relationship which has destroyed me. I have been involved with a guy for around eight months. When we first got together, he told me he was kind of involved with so...
A. 13 July 2015: I agree with Aidan
BLOCK, delete and REMOVE him from every aspect of your life. Don't LET him (yes YOU can do that!) wheel you back in.
TAKE some responsibility for YOUR part of the actions here. ONCE you found out he was seeing someone e... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant. How do I tell the father of my child? We work together, but are not in a relationship together.
Q. I'm expecting my first child and I'm really excited about it. I have always wanted a child since I can remember, and when I found out I was pregnant I was over the moon. My problem is I'm not in a relationship with the father, and apart from a f...
A. 13 July 2015: I have been pondering how to write my advice to you without bursting your bubble, because you WILL need all the positive energy you can get during your pregnancy and well the rest of your life.
BUT I find it pretty SELFISH of you to do this. I ... (read in full...)
Can I get over this revelation? Three years ago, before I knew her, she gave a guy a bj.
Q. Okay so im 18 and have been with my girlfriend who is 19 for a year. I'm very happy with her, and still am, but recently found out that when she was barely 15, she gave a bj to a guy who she only got with 2 or 3 times, who she knew had a gf but d...
A. 13 July 2015: So it was OK for YOU to GET a blowjob at 16, but not for HER to give one at 15?
That's absurd.
We ALL make DUMB mistakes. Some are due to peer pressure, some to inexperience (my guess is this guy manipulated her fairly well into thinking it... (read in full...)
Stuck in a rut. Looking for a job. Also have debts to pay. How can I get out of this rut?
Q. I am a 23 year old single mum, recently came out of a long term relationship with my child's dad. My child is 5 so I fell pregnant not long after leaving school, I have been a stay at home parent plus studying too. My studies have now ended, n...
A. 13 July 2015: Have you set a budget and stuck with it?
Do you have Credit Card debt?
Your phone, is it a contract or a pay as you go? If it's the first, any chance you can switch (without the costing you an arm and a leg).
Keep looking and don't give u... (read in full...)
But how can I tell which applies? I know I'm either straight, bi-curious or bisexual.
Q. Kinda confused on my sexuality right now. I know i'm either straight, bi-curious or bisexual. I know i'm not a lesbian because i'm definitely attracted emotionally, romantically and sexually to men. However, ever since I was younger and coul...
A. 13 July 2015: Don't worry about a label right now.
Finding boobs and/or females attractive doesn't mean you are bi, curious, straight or gay.
Putting a "sexual orientation" label on yourself doesn't DEFINE you. YOU define you.
So you are a girl who digs ... (read in full...)
Do I love him or just really miss him? Where do I go from here?
Q. I was very close friends with my co - worker. We got along so well and everyone could see that. We were always messing around and everybody used to make 'lovebird' comments but I never thought anything of it. My thoughts were that we were friends ...
A. 13 July 2015: Cut the contact. The GUY has a GF.
The reason you got so emotional, was because he PLAYED you well. He gave you attention and affection that he REALLY should have "saved" for his GF, but it made you feel "special" and it got your knickers in a wad... (read in full...)
I genuinely want a future with this man. What is a good way to pull him back ?
Q. Relationship for 4 1/2 years we live together and there has been some problems. I love this man and genuinely want a future with him. Our problems have stemmed from his behavior not mine. Recently he has told me he is moving out letting his h...
A. 13 July 2015: Don't play games.
Let him know that you will GIVE him space, but that you be sitting and waiting on him to decide what HE wants. YOU have a life to live to.
Then BACK off - go live YOUR life (but maybe NOT date as you are not over this guy) d... (read in full...)
Am I seeing this clearly? What can I do? It looks like my boyfriend's mother wants him to emotionally fill her husbands shoes
Q. Hi all, This problem is like a festering wound that will not go away. I feel the relationship between my boyfriend and his mother is a bit unusual sometimes or weird. Now before I go on about what is happening I strongly believe people need to h...
A. 13 July 2015: I have to agree with WiseOwlE
WHY are you dating him?
He CLEARLY do have issues with his parents, NOT just his mom. He however doesn't have a bond with his Dad, because the mom has systematically broken that down.
I'm not even sure WHY... (read in full...)
I'm not a very good talker - is an email suitable to break up medium?
Q. Hi everyone, I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years, engaged for one, but 18 months ago it became long distance of about 4 hours due to monetary issues. For the past 3-4 months, however, I've been doubting about where we're going...
A. 13 July 2015: I think a 3 YEAR relationship deserve more than a eloquent e-mail.
Since you have it ALL written down, you can use it as your "guide" when talking to her.
I think it's VERY much a "wimpy" way to end a relationship. ... (read in full...)
He's always talking about his ex. Will this phase out or I should I get out?
Q. We are three weeks into dating, having met 3 times, there's been calls, messages and he is reliable as he initiates communication. I really like him. I have a different look to what he's normally dated, but he compliments me and says he's attracted ...
A. 13 July 2015: Don't take it as a failure or loss OR that this is YOUR fault - it's NOT. The guy shouldn't BE on dating sites if he isn't READY to date.
Better "luck" next time!... (read in full...)
He doesn't want his friends to find out that he's going out with me. Why? Why does he limit communication?.
Q. At the moment I am feeling really upset because I'm going out with this boy and he won't barely talk to me, he has got a lot closer to his friend but I doubt that's the problem. He told me that he broke up with his ex girlfriend because she was ...
A. 12 July 2015: I agree with Ciar,
Sorry honey, he has lost interest. A guy who isn't PROUD to show off his GF doesn't CARE much for her.
Anyone dating someone they CARE for would want to shout it from the roof tops.
Just call him and break up. There is n... (read in full...)
Am I right to be annoyed by her behaviour with another guy when we were out together?
Q. Hi guys. I recently went on a first date with a girl. It seemed to go pretty well and we even kissed. We have been texting ever since with relative frequency and a couple of attempts have been made to meet again but for various reasons we...
A. 12 July 2015: I think it was a HUGE "dating faux pas" of her.
When I first read your post, I presumed it was an old friend, relative or acquaintance and that explain her behavior UP to a point.
BUT since she had asked YOU to show up, and you had PLANNED on w... (read in full...)
How do I break up in a way that will minimize the pain he will feel?
Q. Hi everyone Well my situation is i've ended up in a relationship that really doesn't satisfy me and i don't know if i should try to make it work or just get out of it as soon as I can. I am 23 and he is 26. I met a guy and he seemed nice, in...
A. 12 July 2015: There is NO way for you to AVOID him feeling hurt. Sorry.
BUT the SOONER you tell him you don't think you are a good match, that a LDR is NOT what you are looking for OR that you don't feel ready to date any time soon - the BETTER. For you AND ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a boy at University who chooses to ignore me. How should I respond?
Q. I have seen a boy in my university he was not in my class he was friend of my classmate.i start to love him very much i just met him twice with my friend in university talk to him shortly. i had take his contact number from his friend because ...
A. 11 July 2015: Cut the contact.
If this guy ACTUALLY CARED about you and your feelings he wouldn't treat you like a used tissue.
Sorry, it's time for you to move on.
... (read in full...)
Was he trying to make me jealous by grinding other women in front of me? Why didn't he respond to my remark?
Q. I was at a party and there was a guy who is interested in me.. maybe love me. I like him but not in the way that he does for me. He hasn't told me directly that he does and I never asked. However he wanted to dance with me and not in a good wa...
A. 11 July 2015: Was he trying to make you jealous? I doubt it, he just wanted to dance and have fun..
You think this guy.. MAY even love you, but you don't feel the same way - SO stop wondering why he does what he does. You aren't interested, good... let him do t... (read in full...)
Sex or affection more important? I feel rejected
Q. I'm confused I don't know what's more important affection or sex ? Me and my bf haven't had sex in about a month. I tryed to make the first move than he said no you don't deserve it (we had argued 2 days prior) and this happens frequently he ...
A. 11 July 2015: I think IF I were you, I'd find a job, at least part time. Because if this keeps going down hill, you will NEED to be able to take care of yourself financially.
Financial problems cause a LOT of problems that people may not really pay attentio... (read in full...)
How do I deal with problems with my mom?
Q. My mother always disagrees with things I say. If she's having an issue with something she'll ask me and then I'll tell her what I think but then we end up arguing about it. She then goes, maybe weeks or days later, to ask my 2 brothers(I'm the only ...
A. 11 July 2015: Maybe for a while stick to topics you won't argue or disagree over, like weather, TV, music etc. If she picks a topic or asks a question you KNOW she is asking to create a little drama... avoid it or ASK her opinion without getting into it.
She w... (read in full...)
FWB with a married guy who says his wife is a nightmare yet he refuses to leave her. What do I do? Am I just the "other woman"?
Q. Please bare with me on this, it's a little tricky. Okay, I've recently entered a 'friends with benefits' situation with a friend of mine (we use contraception) but before that we did class ourselves as being in a relationship due to the strong em...
A. 11 July 2015: You know, I can't tell you how many times I've heard that "song and dance" from a married guy about how HORRIBLE the wife is.. yet he usually have an equally long list of excuses as to WHY he can't leave.
I call BS.
She might be a total cow a... (read in full...)
His thinks his dog can do no wrong. I can't take much more our relationship, what can I do?
Q. hi everyone this may sound like a silly problem to some people but my boyfriends dog is ruining our relationship heres some background. weve been together for 2 years I have a daughter from a previous relationship she is 3 and a half anyway heres ...
A. 11 July 2015: Dogs are like kids (cats too in a way, though they are WAY more independent than dogs) and DO require a lot of attention, affection, training etc.
Instead of "punishing his dog" - I think you should sit down and talk some rules with him. WHAT is ... (read in full...)
Sex or affection more important? I feel rejected
Q. I'm confused I don't know what's more important affection or sex ? Me and my bf haven't had sex in about a month. I tryed to make the first move than he said no you don't deserve it (we had argued 2 days prior) and this happens frequently he ...
A. 11 July 2015: I think it's his way of maintaining some kind of control in the relationship.
I would pull back with the trying to initiate a little bit. And I would sit him down (after the kid is in bed, so it's just you two) and talk. There is somethin... (read in full...)
He's always talking about his ex. Will this phase out or I should I get out?
Q. We are three weeks into dating, having met 3 times, there's been calls, messages and he is reliable as he initiates communication. I really like him. I have a different look to what he's normally dated, but he compliments me and says he's attracted ...
A. 9 July 2015: Urgh. I would guess is isn't aware of JUST how much he talks about her, but like Notsohappy pointed out, it's annoying and inconsiderate - and I would bring it up. We all have a past but that doesn't mean we NEED to DRAG the ex into the ... (read in full...)
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