He fist bumps me at least 7 times during a work day. what is his problem?
Q. This guy i work with keeps fist bumping me for no reason. He keeps saying my name whenever I walk by. Keeps saying 'good job', in a funny way, even though he hasnt deen what I did or didnt do. I ask why he just says stuff like that, he awkwardl...
A. 23 July 2015: Awww the poor guy is throwing a tantrum because you aren't bending over backwards to "adore" and "worship" him... Seriously he needs to grow up.
He is just an attention monger... nothing else. And the fact that he HAS a GF.... Yes, I'd avoid ge... (read in full...)
FWB rules-what's appropriate and what's not?
Q. I'm getting ready to get into a fwb situation for the first time in my life. This is someone I dated a long time ago for 5 years. Since the BU, there are no lingering emotions. We f***** well together and are both wanting to start that up again. I ...
A. 22 July 2015: That's between the two of you. I don't think there ARE any rules set in stone about FWB. Except.. that if you (or he) find someone they WANT to be with relationship-wise - the FWB usually goes away or goes back to a friendship.
Some people h... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling so bad about myself?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend and I feel such a horrible person. Even though I know it was the right thing to do for both of us I cant help but feel guilty for making him so upset. There were issues in our relationship, but I just didn't love him ...
A. 22 July 2015: How do you stop?
BY accepting that you DID the right thing and wish him well.
Staying with someone you don't REALLY love is stringing them along, and THAT is not fair. (for either of you).
And by being civil and professional at work. Ma... (read in full...)
Just started dating, communication is all one way
Q. Thank you for reading. Last Tuesday I went out on a first date. I've known her for 4 years because she works in a coffee shop in a city I pass through for work reasons about once every 3 weeks. Over the years we have always got along and ha...
A. 22 July 2015: So ask her out again?
I do think she is trying to not come across as desperate or "un-ladylike" and thus letting you set the tempo.
I honestly think the more time you can SPEND in person the better, texting/calling is nice... BUT being togeth... (read in full...)
Girlfriends anti depressants may be ruining our relationship
Q. I'm sorry if this is not the right place to post but I need help in understanding what my girlfriend of 3 years is going through. I don't know where else to go. Last year a death in my girlfriends family had a huge affect on her and I have b...
A. 22 July 2015: I would ask her to talk to her doctor (if possible) about either changing the dosage or the meds all together, specially if she doesn't seem to get better, just more.. erratic. Or maybe have your sister talk to her? Since she has been there, done ... (read in full...)
Double date with parents! What affection is appropriate?
Q. Hi! I know I ask a lot of questions but I really like having outside opinions from people other than my peers. So anyway here's my situation. So Saturday I am going on "a double date" with my parents. My boyfriend and I and then my parents will ...
A. 22 July 2015: Ask your parents to give you some limits and to stop with the joking as it makes it hard for you to realize what boundaries they REALLY think is appropriate.
Sometimes the "kid" has to be the voice of reason.
I think, as a parent, I would ... (read in full...)
He says it's not him. Yet the swinger's site show he's a member. What can I do? I don't want to lose our relationship.
Q. hey everyone, I really need some advice! Me and my partner have been together for 5.5 years, we were childhood sweethearts and got together at 16! Our relationship has always been good, we are both very laid back and therefore we don't t...
A. 22 July 2015: I have to agree with WiseOwlE (as usual)
I do think when people CAN work things out it's great, but there are also times were WE ( I have done this myself) stay with someone whom WE KNOW for a fact, isn't who WE though he/she was.
He is NOT goi... (read in full...)
Is it healthy to keeps talking to your ex when your breakup is fresh?
Q. I broke up with my ex boyfriend 2 days ago but we've been talking ever since like we're still dating. I ended things because of who I became dating him(I was sad and not my self). I know it's hard for him and he probably thinks am joking as this w...
A. 22 July 2015: I think you are a little out of line blaming HIM for "everything" that has gone wrong for you. When you say he "ruined everything about me" - I think that is pretty harsh. How exactly did he ruin you?
Did he TELL you stop talking to your friends?... (read in full...)
Do I leave or stay? We keep almost breaking up, then seconds later we miss each other
Q. My boyfriend started to like someone else and he told me and I've been so hurt and the question is so we stay together? But there's more... We keep almost breaking up then seconds later we tell each other we miss each other. He loves me and he's sto...
A. 22 July 2015: How many times are you going to post the same question? ..
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-i-leave-himor-stay-or-breakup-and.html
... (read in full...)
I am 14 and am feeling a lot of stress with school expectations, family upheaval and boyfriend issues. Can you help me get through all this, please?
Q. okay so in my family, my twin brother and I live with our cousins and they have guardianship over my twin brother and I. Just recently they have decided to relinquish that custodianship of my twin brother, but not me. It's because my brother is a li...
A. 22 July 2015: Awww, only 14 and SO much on your shoulders!
You need to learn to prioritize. 1. school is one of THE most important things at your age. Boyfriends? not, so much. Specially one who accuses you of doing things you haven't done or would never do... (read in full...)
I have self confidence issues. Why wouldn't my boyfriend defend me when nasty remarks were said?
Q. I have almost zero confidence when it comes to my body. I'm a size 16, and due to being bullied as a child due to my weight I have never had any confidence with guys. I have had boyfriends in the past, but I had been single for nearly two years...
A. 22 July 2015: Well, there is a saying about listening through keyholes (basically reading other people's private conversation is rarely going to be flattering).
BUT with that said, I would not be happy with him not standing up for you.
Then there is the who... (read in full...)
Cousin issues. Should I just leave her alone, because she is family? Or reach out to her?
Q. Ok so my cousin and I are on very bad terms right now. We are both females. To make a very long story short, I invited her over my house that night so that we can have a little sleep over or whatever. But someone facetimed me and while I was ...
A. 22 July 2015: Family or not, there is NO way I'd call and apologize. A 16 year old hitting a 5 year old? NOT acceptable AT ALL. Nope, not one bit.
But next time you invite someone over, GET OFF your freaking "tech" and HANG out with the person you invited ... (read in full...)
We broke up. Why is he so keen on me talking to him?
Q. He knew he wanted to break up with me but requested a break. I ended up breaking up with him and he did not put up a fight. This was in may. He keeps coming back and at first I just said I do not want to be friends. I do not want to talk. Leave ...
A. 22 July 2015: I think if you add the fact that YOU didn't want him... made him keep contacting you, sorta to stay in your head "rent free". Even if you don't give a rat's backside about him, HE still makes you think ABOUT him, right?
That is why You need to ... (read in full...)
Now my Bf doesn't want to talk. My parents don't want me to date. Any solutions to my dating problems?
Q. Hi everyone, so my boyfriend and I want to hang out.. The problem is that my parents are really old fashioned and don't approve of me having a boyfriend.. So I have hide it from them and when I hang out I have to add some story to my plans to hang...
A. 21 July 2015: If you can't be "adult" enough to tell your parents you are dating, then maybe you are not ready for the responsibility of a relationship.
You want your parent to think you are trustworthy and smart, YET you run around their back and lie to get w... (read in full...)
I feel he's not the man I thought he was. Should I still travel to meet up with him?
Q. So I have been talking to a guy I met on a date site for 3 years now. We live over 2000 miles apart. We always tried to make plans to finally see one another in person but they never came through for one reason or another. He skyped with me once and ...
A. 21 July 2015: I find it odd that HE hasn't tried to visit you or you him in 3 years. THAT it actually TOOK 3 years to get to the let's met in person. Just my personal though. I can't imagine being in a SERIOUS relationship with someone I have never met. Not for 3 ... (read in full...)
We broke up. Why is he so keen on me talking to him?
Q. He knew he wanted to break up with me but requested a break. I ended up breaking up with him and he did not put up a fight. This was in may. He keeps coming back and at first I just said I do not want to be friends. I do not want to talk. Leave ...
A. 21 July 2015: Block his dumb ass!
He obviously think that you MUST be bitter because you want nothing to do with him *insert eye-roll* (the eye-roll is at him by the by, not you) because he doesn't UNDERSTAND that YOU have no inclination or desire to keep a g... (read in full...)
Do I leave him....or stay? Or breakup and choose the other boy?
Q. My boyfriend started to like someone else and he told me and I've been so hurt and the question is so we stay together? But there's more... We keep almost breaking up then seconds later we tell each other we miss each other. He loves me and he's sto...
A. 21 July 2015: I think you should NEVER jump from one guy to another. End one relationship, BE done with that ex, THEN... move on.
You are your "bf" are not a good fit. You two orbit each other, because you are FAMILIAR with each other (you know what you GOT ... (read in full...)
They all met new guys but I didn't!
Q. I went out with my friend and my sister last night and some other nights. We all hoped to meet new guys. Well I didn't and they did. So we're somewhere and I am all alone and they are talking to these new working class guys that got themselves ...
A. 21 July 2015: I wanted sweet potatoes for tonights dinner (had the dinner all planned out) and the store didn't HAVE any sweet potatoes (well it did , but they looked grubby and not at all the quality I wanted) So... I adjusted the menu and bought red ... (read in full...)
My partner won't cum
Q. Me and my partner are 43. he has problems with cumming. I have never been able to get him off with oral, hand jobs have made him cum occasionally, he will never cum with me on top during intercourse. more recently he can only cum when we have sex ...
A. 21 July 2015: I think he is a bit desensitized with all that porn. And while YOU take it personally, it's NOT about you.
There are plenty of men who can't cum from a BJ. (specially in the over 35 group). Have you tried "reverse cowgirl" (with you on top).
... (read in full...)
Two dates and already I have never felt so comfortable with a guy. Is this normal?
Q. I've known this man for two weeks and been on two dates with him. We haven't had sex or anything. But wow, already we hold hands, we kiss each other on the cheek and forehead or very briefly on the neck. On our second date, we got back from da...
A. 21 July 2015: I will agree with both aunties here. IT can be normal, it CAN be great, but SLOW down.
Second date you go home with him? Honestly, that is not smart. I don't know how well you know this guy and how long you have known him, but don't PUT yourself... (read in full...)
Do I have any future with this man? Can he be helped? A relationship without sexual love and intimacy is not something I could live with
Q. Hello there! I am a 25 year old woman dating, for 3 months, a 36 year old man who I absolutely adore. We're very much into each other. He is kind, charming, chivalrous, gentle, strong-minded....everything one could want in a man. The only iss...
A. 21 July 2015: I'm not sure where you get the steroid abuse from. Hypergonadism DOES lower a males testosterone level (testosterone is the "MALE" hormone - comparable to estrogen in women - though most people have some of both, testosterone is predominant in males ... (read in full...)
My relationship is making me feel unconscious, mentally foggy, and extremely unhappy
Q. I think my relationship is making me feel unconscious, mentally foggy, and unhappy and just out right not myself anymore. I have been with my partner for 2.5 years and things were great in the beginning. I thought we had the same vision in l...
A. 21 July 2015: Break up NOW, before the move. THAT way he doesn't have a reason to move WITH you.
You sounds like you have had a foot out the door a while, that the relationship makes you miserable, so WHY stay?
Maybe you moving away will GIVE him a chan... (read in full...)
Should I tell him that I'm really 50? I lied on the dating website!
Q. Hi Friends here I have been dating a guy for about 2 months. We see each other every week and text everyday. We originally met each other on a casual dating site...and i guess both of us do not expect that that we are so attracted to each...
A. 21 July 2015:
Why not tell him? He lied about his age too. Truth is you are only 2 years older, NO big deal.
I do want to say this though... WHY lie about your age? It makes you look untrustworthy.... (read in full...)
Are there no gentlemen left? ? My dating has left me not interested in sex, though I have had sex
Q. I'm 20 and I've got this problem with boyfriends. I only had four of them when I was in HS. "Matthew" was a relative of a friend and he was nice, but he annoyed me because he would just show up at my house without calling first or else he would...
A. 21 July 2015: I think it has a lot to do with maturity, not just in the boys you end up dating BUT in yourself. YOU need to be able to tell someone NO. YOU need to be able to set boundaries. And you need to use more common sense.
From your post it seems li... (read in full...)
Yes, it's a tad early but what should I get my boyfriend for Christmas?
Q. hello i was just wondering what i should get my boyfriend for Christmas we are both 14 and he is really into hunting and fishing and sports but i am so clueless on what to get him.. we have only been together for about 6 months by the time Christmas ...
A. 21 July 2015: You still have plenty of times to "ferret" it out of him or his siblings... I really wouldn't worry about it JUST yet. But pay attention to things he mention he likes.... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting by considering breaking up with gf because she went to see male strippers?
Q. Hi. So, let's describe the events before asking the question. Because they are lenghty, I am starting with the TOO LONG:DIDN'T READ version TL:DR: She went to a strip show while I don't nor have I done the same. Am I over reacting that she wen...
A. 20 July 2015: I don't think you are overreacting at all. If the genders were reversed I'd say the same thing.
IF there are preexisting RULES and BOUNDARIES in a relationship, then BOTH parties stick to them. If an exception arises (like she is invited to a hen... (read in full...)
I fancy this guy friend but he blows hot and cold
Q. This guy and I met a year and a half ago, became friends and really clicked. He even courted me at first, was very sweet and caring, he'd compliment me, walk me to my bus stop each evening, was flirty and a bit touchy, but he never clearly ...
A. 20 July 2015: I think the "douche" version is WHO he really is, the insensitive almost abusive person. The "Nice guy" you met and knew for a few weeks... WAS him on his best behavior. He KNOWS how to behave to WHEEL a girl on/ get her interested, but he CAN NOT ... (read in full...)
Yes, it's a tad early but what should I get my boyfriend for Christmas?
Q. hello i was just wondering what i should get my boyfriend for Christmas we are both 14 and he is really into hunting and fishing and sports but i am so clueless on what to get him.. we have only been together for about 6 months by the time Christmas ...
A. 20 July 2015: I think BEFORE you think what to get him, you ask him what limit you two have for spending. So neither of you overspend on a present.
Does he have a brother or sister? If so could you ask them?
Besides hunting, fishing and sports what does... (read in full...)
He says he wouldn't marry a slut and then he calls me one!
Q. What does it mean when a man says he loves sluts like the ones in porn but wouldn't want to marry one' anf then in arguments calls you a slut repeatedly He later claims he didn't mean if and was just angry but I can't seem to get over this and don'...
A. 20 July 2015: He likes the idea of "Lady in the streets and Freak in the sheets", but in reality his mindset is that woman shouldn't WANT to be sexual, they should just worship (him) and behave like little saints. He has a very immature and unrealistic view of ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my unhelpful Bf who is the father of our infant son?
Q. hi everyone hope people have some useful answers here I am so stressed with my boyfriend. He is 28 the problem is he can just be so annoying. Everytime I want to do something it can be anything like going to bath our 7 month old son, or can be g...
A. 20 July 2015: I agree with Auntie Bim Bim
Enough is enough, he is 28 YEARS old, he needs to GROW up or get lost.
Sit him down TALK to him, but honestly don't expect a "miracle". I would prepare myself to be a single mom, you almost are one now.
He might... (read in full...)
What happens after we die?
Q. I wonder if anybody cares about this issue , but I think about it all the time. I'm not religious, but I feel sort of not really strong in any theoeies about after life. I wish if there would be nothing after we die, but I just have this s...
A. 20 July 2015: I'm not a Christian either. Never was. I will not FAKE a belief "just in case"... If my lack of faith in a Christian/Muslim etc. god means I'm damned, then so be it.
I had this discussion with my 12 year old the other day. She likes the idea of ... (read in full...)
I'm 22 and female. Is it normal that I really enjoy watching porn all the time?
Q. Is it normal for a 22 year old woman to watch porn all the time? I sometimes even watch it while I'm at work. My sex life is OK I wouldn't say great at the moment. But for the past month or so I've been really getting into porn and I am craving sex ...
A. 20 July 2015: I'm with Tisha.
I worked in a IT company and we had 2 people fired for watching porn on COMPANY time and COMPANY equipment (as it can often come with various viruses).
I find it ABSOLUTELY not OK to watch porn at work. And it CAN follow you i... (read in full...)
I felt a spark between us. Do I have any chance with her, knowing now that she does have a Bf?
Q. I met this girl through mutual friends. I was attracted to her straight away and it felt like she was interested in me too, there was definitely a spark between us. However... right from the start she said she had a boyfriend so I kept a fair di...
A. 19 July 2015: Nope, don't even think about her...
How would you feel if you were dating A girl (or this girl) and she kissed some other dude and told the same stories about her "sad" relationship? Would you not feel duped? Cheated?
I know many people say,... (read in full...)
My ex thinks that I want to get back together with him and I don't
Q. I feel like a bad person right now and I feel like I just don't understand my ex or his family. We share a daughter so when she was asked to be his brother's flower girl, and I was also invited it seemed like going with my ex would be ok. I know now ...
A. 19 July 2015: I think YOU were behaving with CIVIL manners at a wedding which IMHO is the right thing to do.
Your ex is just upset that he is being held responsible for his actions (cheating) but that doesn't mean YOU can't BEHAVE with grace and manners ... (read in full...)
My 47 year old boyfriend was texting his friend, a 15 year old girl!
Q. Did I overreact and jump to a gross conclusion ? my boyfriend is 47 I am 31 we have dated for six moths I recently dumped him for texting with his best friends 15 year old daughter but let me give you some background. We having been dating for ...
A. 19 July 2015: EWW - That is not only creepy it's kind of scary, because he KNOWS this girl doesn't HAVE the normal boundaries most 15 year old would, yet he is sucking up all that attention he can get from her.. Freaking sicko.
Just dump him and walk away. Th... (read in full...)
Do I throw away a twenty year marriage because he is more interested in porn stars than me?
Q. My husbands obsession with Porn is driving me crazy . There is no desire when he looks at me anymore . Our sex life feel like he is in another world . He has his favourite porn stars saved on his computer.I've Tried talking to him and he sa...
A. 19 July 2015: I agree with Aidan that MANY men do NOT understand how porn can affect a relationship. The usual excuse "men are just more visual" has been tossed around so much that some take it as the gospel.
I also agree that some use it as a type of escape. ... (read in full...)
He fist bumps me at least 7 times during a work day. what is his problem?
Q. This guy i work with keeps fist bumping me for no reason. He keeps saying my name whenever I walk by. Keeps saying 'good job', in a funny way, even though he hasnt deen what I did or didnt do. I ask why he just says stuff like that, he awkwardl...
A. 19 July 2015: I think he just likes attention from the females. The more girls "sighing" over him the more "manly" he feels.
If he has gotten used to the younger crowd of girls all "crush" on him he might be trying to include you in his little bunch of girl ... (read in full...)
All my friends do sleep randomly with anyone. I don't because it concerns me. Am I too sceptical thinking it's dangerous?
Q. Is it dangerous to sleep with anyone randomly? Because all my friends do that and nothing happens but I'm very sceptical? I need answers because I'm struggling....
A. 18 July 2015: I'm 46 and have had 4 partners from 19-46 (1 partner the last 20 years).
But I DO think the NUMBER is irrelevant. AS long as you take care of yourself (health-wise etc)
And all 4 partners were relationships (last one marriage).
I ... (read in full...)
All my friends do sleep randomly with anyone. I don't because it concerns me. Am I too sceptical thinking it's dangerous?
Q. Is it dangerous to sleep with anyone randomly? Because all my friends do that and nothing happens but I'm very sceptical? I need answers because I'm struggling....
A. 18 July 2015: Oh and OP, I forgot to add that there IS a vaccine out to prevent HPV - I think there is a "max" age level though, but I would SERIOUSLY consider getting one.
My 2 oldest daughters (15 and 13) have both gotten the shots, even though they are NOT ... (read in full...)
I met up with my first love for dinner two weeks ago. I think we both felt chemistry but he hasn't followed up. Advice?
Q. I met up with my first love for dinner two weeks ago. It was great seeing him again after 15 years. We got on so well. I have children but not married and have not been in an exclusive relationship for a few years and he is still single but...
A. 18 July 2015: Why not buy a nice card (birthday) and mail it? (if you have his address).
That way the ball is in his court whether he wants to contact or not. And sending a birthday card is NOT clingy or pushy. Not would it come off as "not hard to get", bu... (read in full...)
My fiance's ex accused him of bodily harm and he was arrested. We are to get married in 5 weeks and now I'm scared!
Q. Please help because I am a little scared. I am due to be getting married in 5 weeks to a lovely lovely man who has 2 wonderful children who I adore. We have been together for 4 years and so so happy. However, after going through court to get...
A. 18 July 2015: Do she have any kind of evidence? Pictures etc?
And yes, I would worry about it continuing on after you two marry. It can be the closeness to the wedding that set her off.
And maybe FROM now on (talk to your solicitor again) to have a 3rd party... (read in full...)
All my friends do sleep randomly with anyone. I don't because it concerns me. Am I too sceptical thinking it's dangerous?
Q. Is it dangerous to sleep with anyone randomly? Because all my friends do that and nothing happens but I'm very sceptical? I need answers because I'm struggling....
A. 18 July 2015: YOU can ask EVERYONE you want to sleep with to show you they are clean. Personally, I have never done casual sex (because I don't think sex IS casual). But I have also never dated a guy who refused to get tested before we started having sex.
When ... (read in full...)
All my friends do sleep randomly with anyone. I don't because it concerns me. Am I too sceptical thinking it's dangerous?
Q. Is it dangerous to sleep with anyone randomly? Because all my friends do that and nothing happens but I'm very sceptical? I need answers because I'm struggling....
A. 18 July 2015: I agree with YouWish.
You say "nothing" has happened yet.. Well, ANY of them could have contracted HPV and just not shown any symptoms YET. That can actually take years to show up. And it's not something you can TEST for, unless you show cell cha... (read in full...)
My fiance's ex accused him of bodily harm and he was arrested. We are to get married in 5 weeks and now I'm scared!
Q. Please help because I am a little scared. I am due to be getting married in 5 weeks to a lovely lovely man who has 2 wonderful children who I adore. We have been together for 4 years and so so happy. However, after going through court to get...
A. 16 July 2015: That IS a crappy situation to get in.
Without doubt GET a lawyer (solicitor) ASAP. Don't accept any plea bargains - I'd say FIGHT her. (in court that is).
She should NOT be allowed to get away with false accusations.
You FIANCE needs to b... (read in full...)
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