Guy wants me to swing with him
Q. Me and this guy have been, not dating, but exclusive FWB. He been wanting a threesome. I ask what his other fantasy is. Sex in public. Lesser of two evils, I agreed to try. So he's been dragging me to sex shops. 6 months into the "relationship", he ...
A. 28 October 2016: Why are you even bothering with him? All he wants to do is USE you. SEXUALLY.
He can't join a swinger club as a single man, so he NEEDS a partner, but.... he doesn't want a relationship so he has you...
Does he only want to swing with you? ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't have sex with me but jacks off to porn
Q. Me and my boyfriend havent slept together for months due to his depression and no sex drive and its really starting to get me down as i know hes making time to masterbate to porn...we did try to have sex a few weeks ago but he didn't look happy to ...
A. 28 October 2016: So why are you staying with him? You aren't satisfied sexually and you feel neglected and disrespected.
What really do you HAVE of good stuff to "make" you want to stay with him? Habit? Familiarity? Because it sounds like trust and love is alrea... (read in full...)
Can you ruin chances with Mr. Right due to dating inexperience?
Q. I guess you can say that I am not a dating expert at all, so I've had my fair share of unsuccessful dates. I'm in my early 20s and started dating around 19. I recently picked up a few books on dating and read all the tips and do's/don't of dating. ...
A. 27 October 2016: You know, NO ONE is a dating expert at ANY age and while books on the subject can help people become better, but it's not like these (or any) books are the GOSPEL on dating. There is not just 1 right way to date. There is no right way to behave ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to get my tubes tied and burnt not knowing what my future holds?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am 45 years old my clock is ticking fast I have been in a relationship in many years I don't have health issues very healthy but I want my tubes tied but the the doctor says no I might meet a man who want a child but I don't want No ...
A. 27 October 2016: Anon female...
Read up on your biology perhaps?
Women can have their tubes tied instead of having the entire uterus/Fallopian tubes removed. Tubal ligation is surgery to block a woman's Fallopian tubes. Which in short, would prevent eggs fro... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my wife's kinky up and down thoughts? ?
Q. Hello everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read this and offer advice if able. My question is how do I deal with my wife's constant changing thoughts on sex and her naughty behavior. For some backstory, we're both mid 30's, been mar...
A. 26 October 2016: I feel a little sorry for you wife here. I think she drinks herself silly to BE the woman YOU want her to be (not that I'm making this YOUR fault).
She is having issues with the whole whore/madonna thing. On one hand, she WANTS to be sexy, sh... (read in full...)
I don't think his behaviour is ok. He told me to 'get over it'. What should I do?
Q. A few weeks ago after a night out I ended up "making out" with a co worker that I'd liked for ages. He basically said that he'd had feelings for me for a while too and hadn't really felt that way before. We texted for a while afterwards until...
A. 26 October 2016: What a sad and shady sack!
He is the kind who hits on all the NEW girls and tells them "pretty little lies" to get a snog or into their panties. And after the "deed" he grows a "conscience" and it needs to go no further...
WHAT a sad an... (read in full...)
My sister is aggressive and opinionated. Would it be OK if I skipped Christmas this year and stayed home to avoid my sister?
Q. I'm having a dilemma over Christmas Day and I could do with some advice. I have a small family consisting of my sister, mother and grandmother. i didn't get on particularly well with my sister- we only see each other three times a year at family o...
A. 26 October 2016: If you want to stay home, do so.
YOU don't need my permission or that of your mom, grandmother or sister. You CAN always make plans to stop by your mom/grandmother's when it suits them.
If going means HOURS of being uncomfortable I'... (read in full...)
I don’t feel romantic love for him any longer but he doesn’t seem to listen to the potential for a great friendship. What do I do?
Q. A month or so ago I wrote about having a great connection with a man who was 57 and older than me. I thank all the aunts and uncles again for all the wonderful advice. I sat back and thought everything through and I got to know him better. ...
A. 26 October 2016: Return the t-short and CDs. If you know when he is out of the office (or wherever he works) drop them off at that time.
The longer you LET him drag it out the LONGER this will go on. He will go from being this "admirer" to a stalker.
Cut him... (read in full...)
What is this fantasy trying to tell me?
Q. I when I was 24yrs old I was in a long term relationship with a man that was very verbally abusice- controlling and manipulatin. The last year of my relationship with him he broke up with me and then essentially came back and begged for me to be ...
A. 26 October 2016: It's hard to say. One thing can be that you are hoping for some sort of rescue from this "bad BF" by another man. Back when you were in your 20's having a crush on a smart and well-educated man made you break off (on your own) from an abusive ... (read in full...)
My husband refuses to help with housework, we both work and he's become very nasty towards me
Q. Hi everyone, Just need a bit of advice and help. Me and my hubby have been married just over a year and been together for 4 1/2 years, we own our own home and have a nearly 3 year old daughter. Since we have gotten married and I have starte...
A. 26 October 2016: Why MUST it be YOU that are doing something "wrong"?
Is it hard to accept that you have married an ass? An abusive ass?
... (read in full...)
BF got caught basically cheating, he hasn't reached out?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together two years. We have had trust issues because he got a girls number on a trip, and texted her flirting throughout and I found out about it. He said he made a dumb mistake and blah blah blah if I found out about ...
A. 25 October 2016: Just pretend he fell if the planet. NO need to waste any more time or energy on him.
You have him ONE chance and he CHOSE to fuck that up by chatting up another girl.
He knows by ignoring you, that YOU feel bad. And that is what he wants. B... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to get my tubes tied and burnt not knowing what my future holds?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am 45 years old my clock is ticking fast I have been in a relationship in many years I don't have health issues very healthy but I want my tubes tied but the the doctor says no I might meet a man who want a child but I don't want No ...
A. 25 October 2016: I agree, you are 45, so DEFINITELY old enough to understand that it will end your chances for kids.
There is nothing wrong in YOU not wanting kids. EVER.
I'd ask to see another doctor.... (read in full...)
My husband refuses to help with housework, we both work and he's become very nasty towards me
Q. Hi everyone, Just need a bit of advice and help. Me and my hubby have been married just over a year and been together for 4 1/2 years, we own our own home and have a nearly 3 year old daughter. Since we have gotten married and I have starte...
A. 25 October 2016: I have to agree with the 2 uncles. THIS is your HUSBAND trying to condition you (or manipulate or bully either expression works for his behavior) to be subservient. To work 40 hours out of the home and do ALL the housework AT home too...
Why d... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't have sex with me but jacks off to porn
Q. Me and my boyfriend havent slept together for months due to his depression and no sex drive and its really starting to get me down as i know hes making time to masterbate to porn...we did try to have sex a few weeks ago but he didn't look happy to ...
A. 25 October 2016: It isn't the porn that gets him hard, it;s his DRIVE or NEED for ejaculation/orgasm that does it. The porn could contain brown paper bags presented in a sexual manner and he would still go for that OVER you.
Why is that? Well, it's NOT because ... (read in full...)
I'd like to keep him as a friend but would like to know what I did wrong?
Q. Aunts/uncles Met this guy at work. Cutting long story short. He noticed me first . I did not find him attractive to begin. Then I spoke to him one day and he smiled andhe melted my heart. The flirting continued with very few words . I went on ...
A. 25 October 2016: Leave him be.
He isn't friend material and wasn't really interested in anything, just wanted to add a number of a girl for his phone.
Don't waste time or effort on this one.
He is a dud.... (read in full...)
How can I cope with my sister in law?
Q. I am really struggling to be civil to my sister in law. I have tried hard to include her, be involved with her and her child, offer to help out with her child, buy the baby presents etc. I have also regularly helped out her too. However she al...
A. 25 October 2016: I agree, so what?
Your SIL doesn't like you and you can't BUY her affection. If I were you I'd stop going out of my way to do things FOR her and to include her. IF your HUSBAND wants his sister around, HE can make the effort.
It's not your... (read in full...)
My older boyfriend doesn't put forth the effort and tells me I should find someone else
Q. Hi all, im in a relationship with a guy for 9 months now. He's 55 years old im 28 years old And he's never suggested taking me out anywhere. He has been married twice. His second wife had her own house he moved in before he got married to her, they ...
A. 25 October 2016: There are more to being in a relationship than to have a man "take" care of you and buy you gifts. BUT for you, that is a way for a person to show you love. And he isn't doing it because he CAN'T be bothered.
You give him what he wants/ne... (read in full...)
Married ex who I havent seen for 12 years wants to meet up to catch up
Q. Married ex who I havent seen for 12 years wants to meet up to catch up after reconnecting on facebook 2 mths ago, what does that mean? We werent really exclusive before, but just friends with benefits ( a lot of sexual connection between us) and ...
A. 25 October 2016: I agree, this is NOT an OLD friend who wants to catch up, this is a guy you used to have a CASUAL sexual relationship with and it ended because he didn't want more, and you did.
Do you really think he wants more now? Well? 1. he is married ... (read in full...)
I cheated, ended things but not sure what to do now
Q. Im married, with two kids. I did the dumbest thing in my life. I cheated on my wife after 7 years together. I was stupid, feel like scum and have this knot in my stomach that will not go away. To make things worse, I started with a condom and som...
A. 25 October 2016: 1. A pregnancy takes 9 months, not 10. Anywhere from 37-41 weeks is the norm. Birth control can fail. The woman could have lied. So no, you won't know unless the women get pregnant and she thinks the kid is yours. You are old enough to know that ... (read in full...)
One night stand with a long term friend leads to awkward!
Q. Hi all I've been friends with A for about 10 years and due to various circumstances we haven't actually seen each other in person for about 5 years so all communication has been online. We are both very attracted to each other and went on a sort-o...
A. 24 October 2016: It does sound weird, you sure he hasn't got a GF? Is that why you two booked a hotel room?
IF he doesn't have a GF, I'd play it by ear from now on, but NO sex.
Sometimes things seem better in the fantasy than reality, could be that as well?
... (read in full...)
I want to date him but I'm almost 18 and he's 9 years older
Q. Hi I'm a 17 year old female (18 in November) from the UK. I have a male "friend" who I want to date but he's 9 years and five months older than me, he knows I like him and feels the same way. He feels guilty about his feelings for me and is ...
A. 24 October 2016: He isn't OK with it because he still sees you as a "kid" and he knows him being 26 is a BIT old to be dating a 17-year-old.
So if I were you I'd back off and let him sort through this on his own. If both YOU and your "dad/grandfather" have giv... (read in full...)
Known this guy for 6 days and I agreed to go travelling with him but I don't like him in that way. He's not my type. What I do now?
Q. So I know this guy for about 6 days now. We met when I stuck in my car on a road and he helped me to get back home. Then he asked me for my phone number and I gave him, because he was acting sweet and I thought we could make good friends. He started ...
A. 23 October 2016: Honestly? I think 6 days is WAY to short to go "travelling" with someone.
If he is not your type, then he is NOT your type. Doesn't mean you can't have a friendship. Doesn't seem like he has tried anything yet anyways.
I would GET to know him ... (read in full...)
My ex flaunts his new g/f in my face but behind her back he's still in contact with me
Q. I split from my ex earlier this year and found out two weeks later that he was already with someone else (although chances are that she was already in the pipeline). My ex has rubbed his relationship with his new partner in my face- even turni...
A. 23 October 2016: You will REALLY gain nothing from telling her, other than look like a jealous petty twatwaffle. Seriously.
Instead?
CUT him off. Don't ALLOW him to play you anymore. CUT the contact, block him from access. If he shows up to places where YOU... (read in full...)
What Is wrong with my friend of 30 years? How can I tell him to lose my number and block him from my internet page?
Q. Dear Cupid,I have come in contact with an ex-flame who makes me smile from ear to ear we have been knowing one other for 30 years. He is 47 and I just turned 45 we both have children and they are grown and on their own.So now he and I are single w...
A. 23 October 2016: No need to ASK him to lose your number, YOU lose his and block his number and unfriend/block remove him from your social websites.
YOU DO NOT need his permission to do all that.
If he doesn't understand why you did it, who cares? He sounds... (read in full...)
My partner is more interested in pleasing his mother than me
Q. My fiancé and I have just discovered that I'm pregnant and our wedding was booked for the same month the baby is due so we've decided to bring it forward. We've given our small party of 40 guests the new date which is still 3 months away and ...
A. 23 October 2016: Nope, I would NOT move it again for the MIL. NO way.
She is the mother of the GROOM, thus (sorry to be blunt) not an important piece in the whole wedding thing. She would only NEED to take one day off. And I seriously doubt if her boss would de... (read in full...)
Are there any strategies to deal with my reactions to the behaviour of his ex?
Q. Ive been with my partner 3 and a half years. Whilst i met his family quite early on, other than a handful of occasions i havent socialised with his friends. When i questioned him about this he is told me that the partners of his friends still se...
A. 23 October 2016: I would start showing up WITH your partner. Either she will start to back off or at least respect that he is with someone new.
I can't believe you LET her "scare" you out of going to HIS best friend's fiance's hen do. I would have gone. And if S... (read in full...)
I'm uncertain about who to date and don't know if I should wait
Q. I went on a few dates with this guy back in August. Due to him working offshore and then medical reasons, we haven't been able to get another one. He's working right now and he tries to message me every day. I do like him but lately it's been hard ...
A. 23 October 2016: Do you really see a future with #1 Off-shore guy?
I mean he will be gone on/off for months, which means you will be on your own for months on/off and while that can work REALLY well for some, for others it doesn't.
The fact that you went on... (read in full...)
Should I tell my BF how I am feeling over talk of his ex? Or should I investigate if she is real?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for one month now, but were friends for two years. I know all of his friends, but recently he's mentioned someone who he's never even spoken about before. Apparently, they used to be boyfriend and gi...
A. 22 October 2016: Real or not, talk to your BF. Let him know that you ACCEPT and understand he has a past from before you, but if he could not bring that ex up in every conversation as it makes you think he isn't over her.
Or suggest that you get to meet her sinc... (read in full...)
Why would a guy keep his GF around if he had lost all sexual desire for her?
Q. Can anyone especially men please give me some advice..I'll try+keep it brief... Basically would a man keep their girlfriend around in a serious relationship if they had lost all sexual attraction for their partner?... The reason why i ask is I'v...
A. 22 October 2016: Depression can have severe effects on the libido. So that part can be true. If he isn't seeking help or DOING anything about the depression it will NEVER get any better.
Porn versus Sex. Even if your (general you) libido is low you still want to ... (read in full...)
I can't get my unemployed ex boyfriend out of my house
Q. I've been in a relationship for 6 months, been thru a lot but really don't want a relationship anymore period. The issue is I haven't been able to get him out. What do I have to do? He has no job now after I threw him out and stuck in my area for...
A. 22 October 2016: You do know he is NOT your responsibility?
He is your ex. Not your child.
If you can't let go, then instead of thinking YOU have to find him a job and home, FIND a homeless shelter and take him there.
YOU are right now enabling him to the ... (read in full...)
I’m disgusted by his personal hygiene!
Q. I need to start by saying my boyfriend is usually wonderful. He is very sweet, generous and loving. But that just isn't enough. I feel so guilty to admit it, but he disgusts me. He always smells bad and doesn't brush his teeth or shower unless I ...
A. 22 October 2016: Anon Female,
Have you talked to your doctor? Could he/she recommend some brand and simple methods for you to use? I would think baby shampoo/soap would do well for someone like you. People use them on babies so they HAVE to be safe. They also sme... (read in full...)
Bad time, not interested or wasting my time
Q. Hi all need your urgent help and opinions. I April I a guy was introduced to me at my aunties birthday. he has worked with her in the past and was around my age. he seemed nice. I text him to say thank you for coming as is normal in my fami...
A. 22 October 2016: I would interpret his VERY vague response:
"and he said he's sure he will see me soon and we can decide together about our relationship."
as - YOU two are not a couple now and he isn't sure about you two being on anytime in the future.
W... (read in full...)
Will my financial dependance on my boyfriend become a problem?
Q. I am in a successful, long-term relationship with someone who I hope to marry. He has not proposed, but we have talked seriously about it. I currently live with my single mother. My biggest concern is that I have little formal education (I ...
A. 22 October 2016: Would you be OK with your BF quitting his job because it's not what he LOVES to do? Which would mean the BOTH of you would be living off a pittance or maybe even welfare.
A job is not always about doing what you LOVE to do. A job is to keep a r... (read in full...)
I’m disgusted by his personal hygiene!
Q. I need to start by saying my boyfriend is usually wonderful. He is very sweet, generous and loving. But that just isn't enough. I feel so guilty to admit it, but he disgusts me. He always smells bad and doesn't brush his teeth or shower unless I ...
A. 22 October 2016: I get that some people with depression/mental issues can get into a funk, and stop taking care of themselves. It's still gross. I feel gross when I ALMOST go to bed without brushing teeth - like if we get home from a VERY late event and all I want ... (read in full...)
I can't get my unemployed ex boyfriend out of my house
Q. I've been in a relationship for 6 months, been thru a lot but really don't want a relationship anymore period. The issue is I haven't been able to get him out. What do I have to do? He has no job now after I threw him out and stuck in my area for...
A. 22 October 2016: You might need to go to the Courthouse and get an eviction notice. Especially if the address is on ANY mail he receives there.
You can ask him to leave without notice if he is NOT on the lease and therefore not a tenant. Also, there is no 3-day no... (read in full...)
My friend found my girlfriend on a dating site
Q. I have been in an 18 month relationship with an extremely insecure girl who has been controlling, needy, and jealous of my past. I have often been aggressively accused of things that just dont exist. In spite of this difficulty, I have rode the ...
A. 22 October 2016: End it?
You already describe her as " extremely insecure girl who has been controlling, needy, and jealous of my past."
That doesn't sound like a guy who is HAPPY with the girl he is with.
Why keep dating her when she is " extremely insec... (read in full...)
If he doesn't initiate contact as often does it mean he isn't as invested in me?
Q. I experienced my 1st real BU a year ago. I loved the guy and I put my all in the relationship, he ended up taking me for granted. I am starting to date another guy and I keep having doubts, just afraid that he isn't into me as much as I am into him. ...
A. 22 October 2016: Maybe an LDR is not the way to go?
... (read in full...)
She was out all night and didn’t text! I need outside views as I’m angry!
Q. OK, this may seem a little trivial but I'm really interested in other's views. My gf, who I have lived with for 2 1/2 years went out for a meal and drinks with work. I dropped her off at the train station at around noon and said if you're getting ...
A. 21 October 2016: Well, sometimes we have good intentions of NOT to fight, but then reality hits and well, shit happens.
Sounds like she needs to QUIT drinking altogether. Not just talk about the "issues". The only thing that WILL prevent these events? IS NOT drin... (read in full...)
How can I escape this loneliness?
Q. How can I get out of my depression. For the last 7 months Ive been hit with several bad episodes (it's been a rough year) - my relationship ended (it was a short one but still affected the way he acted towards me) he was not a caring man. My work ...
A. 21 October 2016: Find things that YOU can do BY YOURSELF that makes you happy, that you enjoy.
For me, it's photography, photoshopping, drawing, painting and reading. I can go for a "short walk to take a picture (I'll have some preconceived notion of what I'd like... (read in full...)
Gift interpretation help
Q. I need help interpreting a birthday gift I received from my new boyfriend. We met online about 2 months ago, live 4-5 hours apart, hit it off right away and have met in person 3 times, talking on phone twice/week for a long talk, with him saying he ...
A. 21 October 2016: I have no idea what a wooden pig means, the T-shirt was probably free if it's from his friend's radio show. Or he bought because he thinks his friend's show is cool and should be promoted so two flies with one stone. Did he wear one you complimented ... (read in full...)
She was out all night and didn’t text! I need outside views as I’m angry!
Q. OK, this may seem a little trivial but I'm really interested in other's views. My gf, who I have lived with for 2 1/2 years went out for a meal and drinks with work. I dropped her off at the train station at around noon and said if you're getting ...
A. 20 October 2016: I think you should try and talk to her instead of the silence. Because silence can be misleading.
I think you have every right to BE mad, upset and disappointed and I think it's ONLY fair to tell her HOW worried you were. I think perhaps (I hope)... (read in full...)
She was out all night and didn’t text! I need outside views as I’m angry!
Q. OK, this may seem a little trivial but I'm really interested in other's views. My gf, who I have lived with for 2 1/2 years went out for a meal and drinks with work. I dropped her off at the train station at around noon and said if you're getting ...
A. 20 October 2016: Honestly? I would have been upset too.
If work would pay for the taxi home, WHY stay in a hotel? Who wouldn't rather just get home and sleep?
But less on that and more of a - she told you the "plan" but didn't stick to it and didn't let you k... (read in full...)
I don’t feel romantic love for him any longer but he doesn’t seem to listen to the potential for a great friendship. What do I do?
Q. A month or so ago I wrote about having a great connection with a man who was 57 and older than me. I thank all the aunts and uncles again for all the wonderful advice. I sat back and thought everything through and I got to know him better. ...
A. 20 October 2016: I think your best bet is to forgo friendship (he can't be a friend) and forgo contact overall.
He is trying pity manipulation on you right now. To make you FEEL so sorry for him that you don't dump him. The thing is.. YOU can not FORCE yourself... (read in full...)
I’m disgusted by his personal hygiene!
Q. I need to start by saying my boyfriend is usually wonderful. He is very sweet, generous and loving. But that just isn't enough. I feel so guilty to admit it, but he disgusts me. He always smells bad and doesn't brush his teeth or shower unless I ...
A. 20 October 2016: Tell him;" I love you to pieces, but I can't handle having an unhygienic BF. It makes me NOT want to be intimate with you or even be near you. I know it sounds rude, but if I can't tell you this, who can?" "If this doesn't change, I don't see us ... (read in full...)
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