He is habitually late, and I am VERY punctual!
Q. The guy I've been dating for awhile is often late. . I'm not talking 10 minutes , I mean anywhere from 45 mins to over an hour. I'm a very punctual person so habitual latesness is my pet peeve. I've tried to tell him about this but it never goes ...
A. 16 November 2016: So he is never late for work or appointments, but can't be bothered to be on time with you?
To me, it just says a lot of how he prioritize and OP, you are on the bottom of the totem pole.
He gets mad because he doesn't like to be reminded of h... (read in full...)
He is habitually late, and I am VERY punctual!
Q. The guy I've been dating for awhile is often late. . I'm not talking 10 minutes , I mean anywhere from 45 mins to over an hour. I'm a very punctual person so habitual latesness is my pet peeve. I've tried to tell him about this but it never goes ...
A. 15 November 2016: This is who he is and he has NO inclination of changing that. So, you have to decide is that a guy I want to date or not.
Personally, I HATE people who are late for no reason whatsoever. I'm usually early, but I can handle someone being late by ... (read in full...)
Does he have too much baggage?
Q. I'm dating a guy that is a 100% gentleman, is God-fearing, has a great job, is goal-driven and has committed to being celibate with me..But, he is divorced (for 5 years now), and has two children (10 years old and 7 years old). He's 33, so I can ...
A. 15 November 2016: Nothing wrong in going slow. Actually, I think going slow (no matter the guy) is the smartest thing you (or anyone) can do.
I think people so often don't take the time to build a relationship, getting to know the other person on a deeper level - ... (read in full...)
Would it be rude to not get back to a co-worker? She wants to sell me insurance!
Q. 2 weeks ago,one of my co-workers that I’m cool with ,approched me and asked when I’m free.I said I was not sure and ask why she was asking.She proceeded to tell me that she needs help with something she is starting but she doesn’t want to discuss ...
A. 14 November 2016: Personally? I'd meet her for coffee and the MOMENT she goes into an "insurance sales pitch" I'd stop and tell her that you are not interested AT ALL and that you are actually disappointed that she is trying to take advantage of your work ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel uncomfortable when people say my name out loud?
Q. I've always been this way since I was little. I get very very uncomfortable when someone says my name or if I hear my name. I have a very unique name in the sense that I've never heard it or seen it before and I still haven't encountered it ...
A. 14 November 2016: I only feel uncomfortable when people try (and fail) to pronounce mine.... Which is why I have had the same nickname for almost 20 years.
My guess is when people use your name, the attention is ON you, not just because of the unique name but beca... (read in full...)
I don’t to give my girlfriend visible hickies or love bites!
Q. Adults only please; this questions is not suitable for young readers. My gf has grown to love rough sex that leaves marks. I oblige but I draw the line at anything visible - often neck hickies or love bits. I don't want others to either see her a...
A. 14 November 2016: I think it's FAIR that you two agree to disagree.
I don't think you OWE her to leave marks on her body if that is something that you don't WANT to do. I would tell her that for YOU leaving marks/hickeys doesn't equal showing that you care.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a massive jerk who doesn’t care?
Q. My boyfriend doesn't seem to care about me or get upset when genuinely bad things happen to me. I've had a massive argument with him today and I'm wondering if it's because he's a total jerk or do most people get this way when they can't handle a ...
A. 14 November 2016: I don't think he is a massive jerk, but I DO think he doesn't know HOW to help you.
And in a way, I can kind of understand him getting upset when you text him that you need a hug when he knows FULL well that he CAN NOT come to your rescue. ... (read in full...)
Our fights have become over the top!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We have had our ups and downs. On occasion, I have had to walk away and take a "break," because the arguments become so personal and heated and so incredibly loud, and I cannot stand the insults any ...
A. 14 November 2016: Sounds like he has decided that he doesn't want to marry you and he is now looking for excuses to justify it.
He is looking for a way out. He knows you want marriage and he is determined to NOT marry you.
The one being dramatic and deceitful is... (read in full...)
Can I ever get my thoughts under control?
Q. I wanted to write this to see if anyone has had any success in dealing with this or if there is no hope for me to resolve my issues. I have been in therapy and with medication since I was young I'm 31 now. I was diagnosed with OCD at 12. The last ...
A. 14 November 2016: You might want to consider some CBT therapy again. Like a refresher course. There is a BIG difference how a 12-year-old deal with things and how a woman of 31 does.
Secondly, I think it's :normal" for people with OCD to go into a sort of overdriv... (read in full...)
Can I ever get my thoughts under control?
Q. I wanted to write this to see if anyone has had any success in dealing with this or if there is no hope for me to resolve my issues. I have been in therapy and with medication since I was young I'm 31 now. I was diagnosed with OCD at 12. The last ...
A. 14 November 2016: You might want to consider some CBT therapy again. Like a refresher course. There is a BIG difference how a 12-year-old deal with things and how a woman of 31 does.
Secondly, I think it's :normal" for people with OCD to go into a sort of overdriv... (read in full...)
I'm trying to act like his actions didn't bother me but I just can't get over him!
Q. At the moment, I have feelings for someone who has basically led me on a bit and messed me about and obviously doesn't reciprocate. I have to see him every day at work and I am trying to simultaneously stay away from him and act civilly if I have ...
A. 14 November 2016: Most people can't turn their feelings off like a light switch, which I think is normal.
Maybe one of the reasons you are fixated on this guy is because he turned you down. Even if he is an idiot, you still want to "prove" him wrong.
However... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend have two separate Snapchat accounts on one phone?
Q. Is it possible for your boyfriend to have two separate Snapchat accounts on one phone? Just today I went to Add Friends from contacts in my address book and I saw my boyfriend's name under another user name and it said ADD beside his name. I alre...
A. 14 November 2016: Ask him?
It's impossible for us to know what's up with that.... (read in full...)
What does it mean when someone describes a man as "sharp"?
Q. Dear Aunts, OK, so I hear this word get thrown around a lot to describe men. 1. One time my coworker said to be aware of my manager because he was sharp. He used to eye me a lot. Whaa? 2. A male friend told me that my crush was sharpe...
A. 14 November 2016: I guess in these two instances it meant he has good game? That he is charming? Good with words? (maybe not n actions)
The BEST way to find out what these two people meant is to ASK these two people.
Sharp for me means one of two things:
GOO... (read in full...)
I read my sister's old life planning journals and I am shocked at what I found!
Q. My sister graduated university last june and as a result had a whole box of old stationary/notepads in her room at home which my mum said I could borrow since she left them behind when she moved out (she's currently renting a flat for a year as ...
A. 14 November 2016: Don't tell your parents unless she is doing badly. She might have outgrown that phase. She might have used them to vent in, which in itself is a good and healthy thing to do. And it really wasn't for you to read through all that. THAT was an ... (read in full...)
Should men in committed relationships be following bikini models on Instagram?
Q. I wanted to know if it's right for a man in a relationship to have Instagram followers ( him following women that are models on Instagram) lately I noticed that a lot of my male friends who are married or in relationships are always folling these ...
A. 14 November 2016: Is it right? I don't know. I've been married for a LONG time and I could NOT care less who my husband follows on social media. It is not for me to DICTATE. However, my husband DOESN'T do that because he thinks that is lame (yes I asked him) Same ... (read in full...)
I really want this girl. How can I get her interested in me? What do I need to do?
Q. Alright there's the same girl from my last question and I've been chasing her for the past two months now. I asked her if she liked me the same way I liked her or not because I couldn't tell and not even her friends at school knew if she liked me...
A. 13 November 2016: You can't MAKE her feel something she doesn't feel or do something she doesn't WANT to do. You need to accept that. NO means NO. She isn't into you.
Like uncle N91 said, she isn't interested and she tried to let you down as easy as she possibly... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is gaslighting me!
Q. Can anyone give me some advice on "gaslighting" please?its a technique used by narcissists etc to make people doubt their sanity!I'm having a lot of problems with my boyfriend of 2 years...the main problem is that hes not had sex with me for 6 ...
A. 13 November 2016: I have to agree with suzzzque269 - why keep dating him? It's no longer a good and healthy relationship and the issues that are at the CORE (his depression and lack of affection/sex) are HIS ISSUES that no amount of YOU loving him can fix.
If he... (read in full...)
Stuck in a cycle and unable to initiate the conversation ...
Q. I am 55, my partner is 64. We have been together 11 years. We got together immediately after I left my previous relationship, we were friends before I left my relationship, which went wrong for many reasons. She initiated the relationship, and at ...
A. 13 November 2016: Talk to your partner, be honest about the affair and the cheating. BUT do not BLAME it on her and the lack of sex. YOU could have brought that up BEFORE cheating, you chose not to rock the boat and NOT for HER sake, but your own.
If you feel you... (read in full...)
I always find the wrong guy! I'm sick of being single.
Q. I seem to have no luck with finding the right guy... Recently met a new guy on a dating site. We spoke for a few days then he asked me on a date. I accepted and we arranged a day. However, as the day got nearer, he said he had to work so we could...
A. 13 November 2016: You need to STOP investing SO many emotions into a guy you don't know.
CUT off talking to this one. It's a WASTE of your time and no, it won't make you feel good.
You come off as super desperate. To take your end sentence " I just want someon... (read in full...)
How do I make my husband notice me
Q. My husband and I have been married for just over a year and together for 4 and I need help trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. My husband spends all his spare time with his friends. He hangs out with them every single day. I hang out with my ...
A. 13 November 2016: Do you work? If not, get a job. Even a part time one. You are too young to just sit at home waiting on your husband.
Secondly, why do you do all the domestic chores while he is off having fun? How is that working for you?
He IS taking you for g... (read in full...)
If you miss someone could it make you realize that you love them?
Q. Could missing someone make you realize that you love them, even if you might not have realized it before? The reason I ask is that my boyfriend is overseas and he's been gone for 4 weeks. He's back in 2. But for the very first time he told me ...
A. 13 November 2016: I do think distance & absence makes the heart grow fonder on some occasions and with some people.
I think he KNEW that he loved you BEFORE this, but he might not have felt comfortable telling you. Telling you from a distance seems safer and easi... (read in full...)
He says we won't work as couple but still contact me. Why?
Q. Hi. Would appreciate a bit of advice please. I was seeing a guy for a few weeks, it has all been very intense and fun. I struggle with insecurity, and it rose its head and he's run a mile. We have decided to stay friends, and when I hold ba...
A. 13 November 2016: Sounds like you are the backup girl for when he doesn't have anyone else. He keeps reaching out when you back away because he WANTS you to pay attention to him, to stroke his ego.
You already know and HE already knows that you aren't compatib... (read in full...)
Crush of 7 years is ignoring my hints. Should I confess my feelings to him?
Q. I've liked a guy for 7 years but I don't know how he feels. We used to be classmates but now we live in different cities so we can't meet. We communicate via text. I have kinda dropped hints but I don't know if he knowingly ignores or just doesn't ...
A. 13 November 2016: What would be the point? You live nowhere near each other and can't date in person, so why bother with this? To have a "text-relationship"?
He is either VERY dense to not pick up your hints or... more likely not wanting to hurt your feelings... (read in full...)
What does it mean if your bf stays up all night trying to convince you he isn't cheating?
Q. What does it mean when your boyfriend stays up with you all night after you accuse him of cheating on you, trying to convince you he ISN'T? Does it mean he really isn't cheating? Or does it mean he is doing his best to throw you off track because ...
A. 13 November 2016: Impossible to guess with that little info.
Personally? If I was innocent I wouldn't spend a whole night trying to convince a partner, but... I wouldn't do it IF I was unfaithful either. So it REALLY is neither here nor there.
I agree it would b... (read in full...)
I'm very attracted to my therapist! Should I just stop with the therapy and ask her out?
Q. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and I started seeing a therapist yesterday. And she's absolutely beautiful. I would've found it a little easier to talk to some middle aged woman or even an old person, but she's the same age as me, and ...
A. 12 November 2016: Switch out the therapist.
Don;t ask her out. Unless you like to be turned down. Pretty sure she isn't doing that job to find dudes to date.....
I mean common sense should tell you that it's a pipedream.
... (read in full...)
Girl Is Trying To Make Me Jealous But I'm Not Interested In Her
Q. Met this girl recently, she's hot but I'm not really interested in her that way because I like women who are intellectual. I thought she was a bit too friendly when we first met, laughing at all my jokes etc. I also keep noticing her trying to catch ...
A. 12 November 2016: IF you aren't interested in her, feel free to ignore her shenanigans. For someone to think to make another person ACTULLAY helps is sad, but then again she is still young.
Not sure why it's annoying though, it's not YOU she is messing with.. i... (read in full...)
Why does he never offer to pay for the hotel?
Q. I travel quite a lot and 3-4 times a year I fly through one country where I met a guy who I really like. Sometimes it's a lay over, sometimes it's a couple days stay. We always meet and it's usually just amazing. Sex is amazing and I really enj...
A. 11 November 2016: I agree with YouWish, why not stay at his place? That sounds really iffy. Why isn't he offering THAT? Have you even been to his place?
My guess is he ENJOYS the stays (short or long) at a hotel over his own place. It's like a day or a few days of ... (read in full...)
Does he have too much baggage?
Q. I'm dating a guy that is a 100% gentleman, is God-fearing, has a great job, is goal-driven and has committed to being celibate with me..But, he is divorced (for 5 years now), and has two children (10 years old and 7 years old). He's 33, so I can ...
A. 10 November 2016: My guess is some of your peers or family has brought up the subject of "baggage" in regards to this guy, am I correct?
Whether or not it would/could work is entirely up to you and him.
But I would mention a few things for you to reflect on:
... (read in full...)
Should I try to seduce my brother's wife?
Q. I'm 19 year old and have a huge crush on my brothers wife she's around 28 and I've been in a relationship with her sister she's 23 and whenever I have sex with her I couldn't stop imagining my sister in law and ejaculate thinking of my sister in ...
A. 10 November 2016: Why ask us?
Ask your brother, it's his wife.... (read in full...)
Why won't my friend give me a chance?
Q. Hi I am a 52 year old man who has been in love with a female friend for 20 yrs I have helped her through many rough times. she does know how I feel but says she doesn't know why she won't give me a chance I know I would make her and her Childrens ...
A. 10 November 2016: I'm with Auntie Bim Bim
It's been 20 years and NOTHING has come of it. SHE sees you as a friend, a GOOD friend only. I think it would be unfair of her to date you if she doesn't have romantic feelings for you and it seems like she doesn't.... (read in full...)
I thought we had something but now I'm thinking we are just a casual relationship
Q. Omg! So, we met online and have dated a few times. Taken the relationship to another level, had amazing sex, a few times now. and now,after just 7 weeks booked to go away together. All fantastic, I thought. However, he has been acting strangely the ...
A. 10 November 2016: You caught him in a lie, he felt stupid. Easier to block and ghost you than actually TALK to you.
Be glad you KNOW now what kind of guy he is. Maybe with the next one, you will notice the red flags sooner.
Don't feel bad for hoping it would ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting sex twice a week?
Q. Dear Cupid: I'm a lesbian and been with my lady for almost 2 years. At first the sex was amazing. NOW it never happens and she thinks there are times it has and it hasn't. I would remember. I CHERISH it so much when it does. She used to initiate...
A. 9 November 2016: So now you know, you two are sexually incompatible.
If sex IS important to you, she might not be the right partner for you. And the fact that she feels YOUR needs/desires are invalid kind of sets the tone for the relationship (besides the sex).
... (read in full...)
Why isnt he replying the date is 3 days away
Q. I have arranged a date with a man i know ( we dont see each other out its more of a facebook friendship ) the date is set for this weekend . I have messaged him to confirm times and place to meet but he hasnt replied for a week ! why would someone ...
A. 9 November 2016:
He hasn't replied because he is still weighing his options. He might not have other plans by Saturday and suggest the meetup or ask for a rain-check if he has something "better" going on.
Or he doesn't REALLY want to meet up in person.
I... (read in full...)
Would you leave your spouse if you thought they were cheating, or would you wait for evidence or proof?
Q. Would you leave your husband if you thought he was cheating on you? Is that enough? Or would you need to obtain evidence/proof before leaving him? ...
A. 9 November 2016: I would want to know 100%
Not because I'd want to confront them, but to give them the FULL extent of the benefit of the doubt.
I think, however, it's a very personal choice. Some people ignore all the red flags, all the little things and other... (read in full...)
I broke off a 3 year affair and all he said was ok
Q. Hi, I've been seeing a married man(ex), for 3 years now. I finally got the guts to say "I can't do this anymore, I need more". It was really hard to say this to him since I still love him. He just said to me "ok". nothing else. not why, are you ...
A. 9 November 2016: I don't think he believes you are seeing someone else, he just doesn't care deeply what you do. He knew it would happen, HE knows he can find a replacement or he knows you will come crawling back.
I hope, for YOUR sake, that you stick to your gun... (read in full...)
How do I know which one is right for me?
Q. My friend and I have been friends for 9 years now and we didn't start out as friends when we we're younger. He use to bully me a lot since we lived next door to each other. He is bisexual and I'm don't know if he's interested in me or maybe I'm ...
A. 9 November 2016: I agree, neither is a good option.
One have been your friend for 9 years and nothing has happened so far, so why now?
Second one, been a friend for 3... and still nothing either.
Flirting doesn't always equate romantic interest, some ... (read in full...)
How can I stop beating myself up for making same mistake twice?
Q. I recently was dating an awesome person and long story short, I wrecked my chances with them and turned them off completely. It's unfixable, trust me. If this mistake was something I had never learned about before, I'd just say "I just didn't know...
A. 9 November 2016: ACCEPT that you are not perfect.
ACCEPT that the people around you are not perfect either.
YOU will make more mistakes in life, and so will the people around you.
NO amount of beating yourself up will make you perfect. OR others.
I... (read in full...)
How do I get a quiet guy to open up?
Q. I've been dating a wonderful guy for about 2 months now. He is kind, considerate, sweet and very supportive. He plans fun dates for us is stable, dependable and always checks in on me. I've been in some rough past relationships, and I still feel...
A. 9 November 2016: I get that you have had bad experiences before, but... YOU really need to let those go.
After all, you picked a guy who is VERY different from the others. So GIVE him the benefit of the doubt.
Have clean slate with him. HE deserves that.
... (read in full...)
Not invited to boyfriends childrens events
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years the last year living together. He has been divorced for 16 years his children are now 19 and 18 . As of yet I am not included in any of there events graduations football games bday dinners.. He has a ...
A. 9 November 2016: I find it odd that your BF and you are OK with you being on the "outside looking in" after 6 years.
It can be the kids feel protective of their mom and feel like having you around at events is like rubbing it in that she is single, that her husb... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend take any responsibility in our relationship?
Q. Hey dearcupid readers, Just wanted some thoughts on this. I'm a guy and I've been with my girlfriend for almost three years; we are still at university but living together off campus. I love her dearly but recently something that has been going o...
A. 9 November 2016: She sounds pretty spoiled if you ask me. But she is also of the generation where it's almost a distinction for women to not be able to do ANY domestic chores like they are "too good" to cook, clean and pick up after themselves. I find it ridiculous, ... (read in full...)
I now feel worse after taking that final step
Q. I have guy that I posted about who keeps coming in and out of my life. He always reaches out after months saying misses me only to disappoint me and ditch me again...but every time he comes back I think its finally the time that hes gonna stick with ...
A. 8 November 2016: Stay busy and LIVE life! Find tour goals and dreams (not in a partner but for YOU) and work towards them.
... (read in full...)
I'm more emotionally attached to my b/f than he is to me
Q. HI, I dont know why I have this sad feeling that I am more emotionally attached to my bf than he is. We are together for almost 3 years, we dont live together but we are very involve in each ones lives..that is what I think. He has some problems re...
A. 8 November 2016: I agree with BrownWolf,
The relationship is entirely one sided, with YOU doing all the work, making all the compromises and him just taking what he wants and offering VERY little in return.
It's been 3 years and it's become routine. For bot... (read in full...)
Not invited to boyfriends childrens events
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years the last year living together. He has been divorced for 16 years his children are now 19 and 18 . As of yet I am not included in any of there events graduations football games bday dinners.. He has a ...
A. 8 November 2016: Why not suggest you ALL go out to a dinner so things will be less awkward?
It seems WEIRD that you aren't included if you have been part of their lives since they were 12 and 13.
You say: " I am not a very pushy person and do not want to go w... (read in full...)
I thought we had something but now I'm thinking we are just a casual relationship
Q. Omg! So, we met online and have dated a few times. Taken the relationship to another level, had amazing sex, a few times now. and now,after just 7 weeks booked to go away together. All fantastic, I thought. However, he has been acting strangely the ...
A. 8 November 2016: I don't think you are reading too much into it... BUT if you two are sort of casual, nothing has been decided and he has cancelled a few dates, maybe... he is looking to see what else is out there and SO should you.
7 weeks is BARELY 2 months. ... (read in full...)
I now feel worse after taking that final step
Q. I have guy that I posted about who keeps coming in and out of my life. He always reaches out after months saying misses me only to disappoint me and ditch me again...but every time he comes back I think its finally the time that hes gonna stick with ...
A. 7 November 2016: I think it is a "normal" reaction. After all you CARE(D) for him even if he didn't treat you right.
YOU can love someone, care for someone and NOT want to be around them because of how they behave.
It's a loss. There will be grief of sorts a... (read in full...)
Would it be rude to not get back to a co-worker? She wants to sell me insurance!
Q. 2 weeks ago,one of my co-workers that I’m cool with ,approched me and asked when I’m free.I said I was not sure and ask why she was asking.She proceeded to tell me that she needs help with something she is starting but she doesn’t want to discuss ...
A. 5 November 2016: I don't think it's that hard to tell a person no. If I were you I'd either meet with her and nip it in the bud when she starts her sales pitch or like Ciar says, tell her it sounds like a sales pitch and you are not buying. If you still want to meet ... (read in full...)
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