Trust ring--what should I have engraved on it?
Q. I lied to my boyfriend, and I made many mistakes. I'm getting him a promise ring and I want it to make up for all of that, to show him he can trust me and I won't ever make the same mistakes again. What should be engraved on the ring? ...
A. 8 November 2016: OP, the 90% of the time were in regards to the kids I mentioned NOT you. IF you actually READ what I wrote.
You having lied ONCE to him is something he will get over, he has or will lie to you too.
There is a HUGE difference from ONE like to... (read in full...)
He'll only communicate with me via the dating site
Q. Help, I have been messaging a guy for 4 months on a dating site. We seem to have alot in common and message for hours maybe 2 times a week. But we have never met and i have never heard his voice. He wont share his phone number with me or txt my ...
A. 4 November 2016: It's not a bad thing that you ASKED for that and that he logged off, AT LEAST now you know NOT to waste any more time on this one.
Better luck next time!... (read in full...)
I heard talk that my FWB beat up his ex girlfriend
Q. Is past abuse a deal breaker or red flag for sex buddies? I left my boyfriend because he beat me up. I do still love him and been trying to deny the really tight tramua bond I have with him. And now I guess I have a new sex buddy.He has been hel...
A. 4 November 2016: So did you ASK him if he beat up his ex or not?
Or are you ignoring the fact that he might be an abusive guy, just so you can get some attention and affection?
... (read in full...)
Will I ever be more than just a back up girl for him?
Q. I have a guy who I've known for almost 7 years now and he lives 4 hours away.The thing is ,we have been on and off all this time.He is the one who leaves because the distance is too hard for him ..only to return months later when he misses me then ...
A. 3 November 2016: Good for you OP. For putting yourself first, not him.
... (read in full...)
I was asked out on a date by an older man? Should I go?
Q. Hello all, hope you’re having a good day? :) I haven’t posted on here for a very long time, so apologies if I forget some rules. I was at the bus stop the other day waiting for my usual bus to get home in the early evening. A gentleman was th...
A. 3 November 2016: Honestly, your story gave me the creeps.
He didn't talk to you on the bus but WATCHED you. He got off at the same bus stop (probably to see where you live or engage in a conversation - which WOULD have been WAY more appropriate at the bus stop or ... (read in full...)
Three boys to choose from!
Q. Hello im a freshman in high school and I am having some problems with 3 guys... I know it seems like a lot but I really need help because it is taking over my head every single day. (Ill use Boy A, B, and C for their names). Boy A is a sophomore...
A. 3 November 2016: I agree you are 14... RELAX! There is no hurry to HAVE a BF or relationship.
As for the boys you mention, honestly? IF you can't decide between 3!! boys none of them stand out enough to be worth it.
The B and C should not even be options. A 15... (read in full...)
Will I ever be more than just a back up girl for him?
Q. I have a guy who I've known for almost 7 years now and he lives 4 hours away.The thing is ,we have been on and off all this time.He is the one who leaves because the distance is too hard for him ..only to return months later when he misses me then ...
A. 3 November 2016: Get a new number OP?
It would be easier than trying to ignore his calls/texts since you can't block it.
And BLOCK him on ALL social media.... (read in full...)
I heard talk that my FWB beat up his ex girlfriend
Q. Is past abuse a deal breaker or red flag for sex buddies? I left my boyfriend because he beat me up. I do still love him and been trying to deny the really tight tramua bond I have with him. And now I guess I have a new sex buddy.He has been hel...
A. 3 November 2016: My guess is he thinks cuddling will make you SAD because you are only F-buddies and he has no intentions of being more.
Basically, he doesn't want you to get too emotionally attached.... (read in full...)
I heard talk that my FWB beat up his ex girlfriend
Q. Is past abuse a deal breaker or red flag for sex buddies? I left my boyfriend because he beat me up. I do still love him and been trying to deny the really tight tramua bond I have with him. And now I guess I have a new sex buddy.He has been hel...
A. 3 November 2016: For me? THAT would be a dealbreaker, ABSOLUTELY.
And I agree with Cindy... what's the point of an F-buddy/Sex-buddy or FWB if he can't HAVE sex due to not getting it up? It totally defeats the "purpose" of such a casual arrangement.
If he D... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating keeps asking for sex
Q. Hello. Looking for some advice. I have been single for 17 years and dating the last eight years. Have had a few relationships that lasted six months. I have had a lot of bad luck in relationships. Seems like men don't want a serious relationship. ...
A. 3 November 2016: Two weeks and he is ALREADY a sex-pest? Jeeez for me that would quickly outweigh his good qualities. Not RESPECTING you and what you have ASKED for is just not a good quality.
I agree with N91, he sounds like a dick.
I think he believes that yo... (read in full...)
He'll only communicate with me via the dating site
Q. Help, I have been messaging a guy for 4 months on a dating site. We seem to have alot in common and message for hours maybe 2 times a week. But we have never met and i have never heard his voice. He wont share his phone number with me or txt my ...
A. 3 November 2016: I agree 4 months and no plans for meeting up and no phone calls? He is NOT single and/or NOT serious. OR he is a catfish.
I think it's generally a good idea to talk a while before giving out personal details, phone number and to meet up - bu... (read in full...)
Has she blocked me and cut off all ties? She seems to have dropped off the face of the earth!
Q. Okay i met this girl over a month ago everything was going great ! i found out the girl i was seeing was engaged or atleast that was what facebook said to her roomate who is a girl/her best friend. we had soo much fun together and the connection was ...
A. 2 November 2016: Yep I agree, she blocked you.
Most likely the fiance caught wind of what was up and made her choose. OR she realized that you can't go have multiple partners unless ALL the partners are OK with it.
What is EASIER than just blocking people?... (read in full...)
Should I take the medication my doctor prescribed? I lost my parents and am depressed.
Q. It's a long time since I came on here, but in the past I have always been given good advice so here goes. 6 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A couple of operations and some treatment, and I got the all clear late last year. Dad had skin...
A. 2 November 2016: I'm SO sorry for your loss.
I think you should consider some grief counseling first. It's really not that strange that you have trouble coping. If your therapist/counselor thinks the anti-depressants are a good thing I'd go for it. But the meds... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I'm thinking of changing jobs?
Q. Dear Aunts/Unclesr Cutting a long story short. I met a guy at work. He started flirting. It was a while before I noticed him. I started flirting back then he went cold. I think because I was coming on to him too quickly as I was starting to fanc...
A. 2 November 2016: So you think you can re-kindle some interest by telling a lie?
What kind of logic is that?
Why not JUST accept that he decided that a "workplace romance" wasn't for him?
Maybe he did it, in the beginning, to be friendly, but you misrea... (read in full...)
Will he ever take things to the next level and ask me to hang out outside of work? Or is he just being flirty/nice to me and I'm reading his signals wrong?
Q. So there's a guy I work with who over the past 3 months has increased his talking to me. I do like him and think he's cute but since it's an office setting I'm confused. He will only try to have a conversation with me when no ones really around ...
A. 2 November 2016: I'd avoid office romances if I were you.
It's been 3 months and he has "suggest" going out to eat, but haven't REALLY asked you out - so I would just get to know him better before doing anything (IF you think it could work out for you two).
... (read in full...)
If you find yourself having messed up badly, how can you stop beating yourself up? and will God or the universe send the right person(s) your way without you being prepared?
Q. I met a great guy over a month or so ago and I blew it from the very beginning. I made a mistake by not respecting myself enough and made myself look like a low-value woman in his eyes by my actions and choices. I guess I didn't even realize my ...
A. 2 November 2016: 1. We aren't "sent" a mate. That would be nice and easy if we were but no. It often takes effort to meet a good match and make it work. Life isn't a fairytale and we aren't handed a partner on a silver platter. The Universe is busy expanding at an ... (read in full...)
Can't decide over career or homemaker
Q. So my boyfriend, successful with his own business thinks being a career oriented woman with goals is good, (adulting) and I think being a stay at home dog mom is good, where is the happy middle? :/ we are so different in this respect but we love ...
A. 1 November 2016: I forgot to add...
Making this choice isn't JUST yours, especially IF you expect your BF for foot the entire bill while you play doggy mom.
From what you write:
"So my boyfriend, successful with his own business thinks being a career orien... (read in full...)
Will I ever be more than just a back up girl for him?
Q. I have a guy who I've known for almost 7 years now and he lives 4 hours away.The thing is ,we have been on and off all this time.He is the one who leaves because the distance is too hard for him ..only to return months later when he misses me then ...
A. 1 November 2016: Do you keep taking him back subconsciously?
Or do you think he will "change" or "suddenly realize" what a great girl you are?
My guess is the latter. You are holding on to a pipe dream and I think you know it. It's just whether you want to acce... (read in full...)
Will I ever be more than just a back up girl for him?
Q. I have a guy who I've known for almost 7 years now and he lives 4 hours away.The thing is ,we have been on and off all this time.He is the one who leaves because the distance is too hard for him ..only to return months later when he misses me then ...
A. 1 November 2016: You have known him for 7 years and it hasn't moved past this on/off whatever it is, I don't think it's likely it will in the future.
As for his promises, well they sound grand but does he back them up with actual action? Actual deeds?
YOU hav... (read in full...)
Why the personal questions about my body? Does he have feelings for me?
Q. I have this best guy friend, I have feelings for him, everyone swears he has feelings for me. Last night when we were talking (which we do almost every day) he started asking extremely personal questions about my body. I asked him if he had been ...
A. 1 November 2016: I don't think he has deep feelings for you either. He ASKED you about your body, not your feelings or your mind.
And OP, you HAVE the right to NOT answer questions you deem inappropriate.
He wanted to see how you would react. That to me makes... (read in full...)
Like the attention but hate the thought
Q. So im 18 years old ive been working in a restaurant for the last 2 years. Recently we got a new chef a married man with 3 kids , he's lovely and very easy to get on with ?however he is very flirtacious and tends to make a lot of sexual comments for ...
A. 1 November 2016: I agree with WiseOwlE
While I get that it's flattering, it's also VERY inappropriate behavior in the workplace. I think you need to nip it in the bud. He obviously can't behave like the ADULT here, so you do it.... (read in full...)
Do these behavioral patterns show red flags?
Q. Should I pay attention to men's patterns? I'm 31 year old woman that has not had any luck in love; I don't usually date a lot so when men approach me and ask me out 9 out of 10 times I say yes( I don't go on dating site because I don't feel ...
A. 1 November 2016: I agree with your therapist here.
IF someone WARNS you about going out with a guy and you ignore it, it's ON you whatever may come. Dating a guy that comes with a "warning label" seems not only risky but unwise.
As far as Jim goes, yes he is ... (read in full...)
Alone and lonely on Halloween. I missed my chance of marriage and kids and now feel that I don't fit!
Q. This isn't about romance, but it does pertain to relationships. Maybe no one has the answers, but I feel so sad. Today is Halloween and I used to love Halloween, but I'm depressed. I feel left out. If you're an adult who is single, no kids, ...
A. 1 November 2016: I think there are MANY people out there like you. People who like to be on their but don't want to be lonely. I'd look for meetup groups in the area. Volunteer positions, chasing some dreams, traveling - if I were you. The possibilities are ... (read in full...)
Husband took advantage of my drunken state
Q. I'm not really sure what to do. Two nights ago, my husband and I went to a party. I drank, he did not. I drank a little too much and was barely functioning. We came home and had sex. He went soft so I rolled over and passed out. Next thing I know, ...
A. 31 October 2016: OH, you bring it up. OR he will presume that it's OK.
How, but telling him:" Darling you will NEVER do that again. When I'm that drunk I can't consent and YES even in a marriage you need consent, I am NOT your blow up doll."
Simple.... (read in full...)
Can't decide over career or homemaker
Q. So my boyfriend, successful with his own business thinks being a career oriented woman with goals is good, (adulting) and I think being a stay at home dog mom is good, where is the happy middle? :/ we are so different in this respect but we love ...
A. 31 October 2016: He is JUSt your BF for now, so no I don't think you should consider staying at home.
And to be honest, would you REALLY want to rely on a man for everything?
Are you planning to have kids and not marry him?
And I DO think you can find a mid... (read in full...)
I think he's selfish for taking viagra!
Q. I just found out my husband has been taking Viagra. He's 63 I'm 57. What makes me upset is that he should have talked to me about it, and I have not wanted sex for years. Been together 32 years and we've been having sex twice a week for last few ...
A. 31 October 2016: Go see your doctor. Fist and foremost.
If you are DONE having sex WHATSOEVER, you need to consider that HE is not. So what is the alternative here? Leave him? Let him have a lover on the side?
What is YOUR offer on a compromise?... (read in full...)
Trust ring--what should I have engraved on it?
Q. I lied to my boyfriend, and I made many mistakes. I'm getting him a promise ring and I want it to make up for all of that, to show him he can trust me and I won't ever make the same mistakes again. What should be engraved on the ring? ...
A. 31 October 2016: I think you should skip the ring and LEARN to stop lying. While everyone lets out a "white" lie here and there, but to constantly lie is something you NEED to work on. You need to stop.
Giving him a ring? Won't make you stop lying.
Giving ... (read in full...)
I've never had feelings like this before, but I'm getting whiplash!
Q. Ok, so here it is: A couple months ago i met this guy, and it was instant attraction from both sides. Physical attraction that i have NEVER felt before, but what was strange is that there was the emotional attraction as well. We are very good ...
A. 31 October 2016: Block him and move on.
I agree with N91, this guy is just using you. For attention, drama, sex, ego stroke.
That isn't LOVE, that is TAKING advantage. And he knows JUST how to play you with a bit of push and pull action.
He has a GF, ha... (read in full...)
I think he's selfish for taking viagra!
Q. I just found out my husband has been taking Viagra. He's 63 I'm 57. What makes me upset is that he should have talked to me about it, and I have not wanted sex for years. Been together 32 years and we've been having sex twice a week for last few ...
A. 31 October 2016: You know, you CAN tell him NO when it comes to sex, right?
And maybe you SHOULD consider going to see your doctor if sex is painful and BRING your husband to the appointment so he can HEAR and hopefully understand that there is a REASON you are ... (read in full...)
Why is he paying child support to his ex if their laszy 17 year old daughter is living with us?
Q. I'm back again for more advice. A little update on my last situation because this kind of involved it. I am still with my fiance, although the wedding date is no longer may 2017. I felt like we have issues that need worked out before that happens. A ...
A. 31 October 2016: Is HE contributing financially to YOUR household or no?
If I recall he doesn't pay you squat, right? THEN it's YOUR choice to let him LIVE off you or ... set some boundaries and "demands". If he can afford to pay the ex-wife, he can afford (... (read in full...)
I've always felt like my B/f fancied me but now I feel from his choice in porn that he fancied his ex more!
Q. My boyfriend has unknowingly dented my self esteem recently, although he's hurt my feelings he hasn't done it on purpose. I'm not sure telling him would be a good idea. I can't stand arguing! I've started watching porn with him, I've never had a...
A. 31 October 2016: Hmmm, the age old "sexual" preference thing.
I find TALL, well build BLOND men hugely sexy. Think Alexander Skarsgaard. BUT, for me, looks aren't the be all and end all of a sexual or personal attraction. I want more than JUST the look. While I ... (read in full...)
High heels during sex...yay or nay?
Q. This question is for you women out there. I really want to know if high heels are a sexual turn on for you girls or not? I love them and I want my wife to wear them every time during sex. But she doesn't!! It's the single most sexual turn on for me. ...
A. 31 October 2016: Do you girls actually feel the need to wear sexy shoes during sex?
No. Sexy shoes or an "outfit" is for the "foreplay" or before... the "foreplay", it's NOT AT ALL practical during sex. (for the most part).
And here is the thing OP... YOUR... (read in full...)
Future mother in law seems to have won and talked my fiance into putting off our wedding. I'm pregnant and not happy!
Q. I posted just over a week ago about bringing my wedding forward as I've not long found out I'm pregnant and didn't want to be a due date bride! But was having issues with my mother in law saying she couldn't get the time off work and generally ...
A. 31 October 2016: I would not push for marriage either, but I would SERIOUSLY reconsider him as my life partner right now.
He has got you knocked up and he is NOW doubting to marry you because? His mom is unhappy that she didn't get to make all the choices about WH... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's wife says he is lying about getting a divorce
Q. Hi, I am with a guy who is separated from his wife 5 years ago. He came to America as a refugee 3 years ago and she is overseas with their son. All his family and relatives knows about me and the fact that they are separated and he is waiting for ...
A. 31 October 2016: You are with a married man. He isn't your BF. He isn't yours.
UNTIL the divorce is final HE IS MARRIED. THAT is the reality, the truth and the legal aspect of it.
It makes NO sense that SHE got your number un;ess HE gave it to her? Unless ot... (read in full...)
I think I made a mistake moving away and buying a house with my b/f. I don't know what to do
Q. I am 42, and currently in a bad situation with my bf of 6 and 1/2 yrs. I moved 80 miles away from family friends etc to be with him. We bought a house last oct'. However things have got so bad already. He is very strict and sometimes ruthless with ...
A. 30 October 2016: I would contact citizen advice and find a way to get out of the house deal, whether it be SELLING the house, SELLING 1/2 the house to him or buying him out.
And find a solution fast.
Also when he is out of the house, TALK to your son. LET hi... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 4 years cheated, I forgave and she's still cheating! I'm afraid to leave home anymore
Q. Hey guys, Im new to this kind of thing however i don't know where else to turn to for this so figured it's time to ask here. so right to it... Me and my gf have been together for over 4 years now... we've had our ups and downs like anyone el...
A. 30 October 2016: Stop forgiving her and end it.
I GET that you love her, but she isn't really respecting you OR the relationship. The fact that you forgave her once, didn't make her stop cheating. Which means she felt NO remorse.
And you forgiving her ma... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want anymore children and wants me to have an abortion
Q. Hiya everyone I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years we have a 11 month old daughter I have another daughter from a previous relationship the problem is I've just found out I'm pregnant again but he doesn't want any more children he thinks I should ...
A. 30 October 2016: I have a ton of questions for you OP:
Why does he want you to have an abortion?
Does he not feel he can afford another child?
Are you both working?
Do you have family support/ support net of friends?
Is the place you live in... (read in full...)
What rights do I have as a grandparent?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a grandparent of a now 2 year old grandson.My grandson is constantly in and out of CPS because my daughter is involved with the child's father and he is the one abusing him.Now I am trying to get visitation rights and she told the ...
A. 30 October 2016: My BIL got temporary custody of his grandchildren (lasted 4 years) when his daughter (the 2 children's mom) got caught by the police/CPS she was busy smoking pot and sleeping it off in the house and the kids (who were 18 months and almost 3) were ... (read in full...)
Is it a red flag if a guy online refuses to give out his contact information before meeting in person?
Q. Is it a red flag if a guy online refuses to give out his contact information before meeting in person? I found this one guy online who seems to be exactly my type. We exchanged a few messages (he started the conversation) and then he asked me out ...
A. 30 October 2016: Have you done a reverse image search? Or did he have NO images on his profile?
If he had no images on his profile, I'd be a bit wary honestly. Because THAT to be is a bit of a red flag. Either he doesn't think he is attractive or he is NOT putt... (read in full...)
I'm on vacation with girlfriend but found out she wants to break up with me. What do I do now?
Q. Ok so I'm on holiday in Tenerife with my girlfriend of 4 months and I have just found out she wants to end it with me either during or after the holiday. I've read messages between her and her mum who is encouraging her to "get shot as I'm not good ...
A. 30 October 2016: Yikes OP!
If I were you I'd see if I could get a single room for yourself, pack your stuff and move to the other room. Then let her know it's over, you have no intention of spending another minute with her when she has so little regard for you.... (read in full...)
I want to dump him but don't want to hurt him
Q. I go out with this boy and he loves me so much and I don't want to hurt him, but I don't love him as much. I want to dump him but I'm afraid that he will hate me and possibly regret ever going out with me. Any advice?...
A. 30 October 2016: Would it not be "kinder" if you broke up with him now instead of dragging it out?
If you don't FEEL that strongly about him, you should end it. But you can end it in a nice way or a rude mean way, up to you.
And at age 13-15 it's kind of nor... (read in full...)
What rights do I have as a grandparent?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a grandparent of a now 2 year old grandson.My grandson is constantly in and out of CPS because my daughter is involved with the child's father and he is the one abusing him.Now I am trying to get visitation rights and she told the ...
A. 29 October 2016: Call CPS. Find a lawyer. Set up a meeting.... (read in full...)
Should I try dating her again? She's a good friend but she's played me in the past
Q. I am unsure what to choose. I have know a girl for over 4 years. In the first year I met her, I knew she was seeing guys (mostly footballers), and basically having fun. I bided my time to wait until she stopped seeing guys and wanted something...
A. 28 October 2016: I wouldn't. OP you are the booby prize. Now that she is getting older and can't pull as many guys as she used to, now that she is scraping the barrel she FINALLY remembered that you were nice to her. Another reason for her sudden interest in you, is ... (read in full...)
I don't feel comfortable with my boyfriend's parenting
Q. I have been dating a man with a 13 year old daughter for 5 months and feel ready to meet her. I thought I was anyway. He is still drying her after a shower on her back and her legs. She is going through puberty and has all the maturing parts of a ...
A. 28 October 2016: Aww, thanks! OP I will reply :)
I think you NEED to tell him that HE needs to be the adult here. HE needs to set boundaries and one of those is to STOP toweling her after a shower. Seriously that is borderline creepy. While I'm ALL for kids bei... (read in full...)
Guy wants me to swing with him
Q. Me and this guy have been, not dating, but exclusive FWB. He been wanting a threesome. I ask what his other fantasy is. Sex in public. Lesser of two evils, I agreed to try. So he's been dragging me to sex shops. 6 months into the "relationship", he ...
A. 28 October 2016: Why are you even bothering with him? All he wants to do is USE you. SEXUALLY.
He can't join a swinger club as a single man, so he NEEDS a partner, but.... he doesn't want a relationship so he has you...
Does he only want to swing with you? ... (read in full...)
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