Take a job I don't want just to keep in contact with a crush?
Q. Hi I'm Sam and I'm 17 years old. I have been working at a bar in the UK temporarily over the Christmas period. I was hoping that after this temporary spell, I would be offered the job permanently. However at the my shift last night, my boss spoke to ...
A. 19 December 2016: I agree - JUST ask her out. While you might want to STICK to the plan of asking her out in January, things have changed and you need to either ASK her out or let it go. Waiting til January is not going to increase your chances of her saying yes.
... (read in full...)
Why does he do this to me?
Q. I've been on and off with a guy I've liked for 2 years. But we haven't had sex. I have tried everything with this guy because I really am unsure of his intentions as he has told me he likes me but nothing's changed. He doesn't meet me when he is ...
A. 19 December 2016: I agree with N91,
This has been going on for 2 years and hasn't progressed.
This is utterly one-sided. You really don't get much out of this, you get crumbs while giving him whole "loaves" of attention and affection.
He KNOWS you like him a... (read in full...)
The LDR visit is not going well and I'm completely lost as to what to do!
Q. Hi, I'm currently 8 months in to a LDR, (we're separated by 10000 miles) and I've just arrived at hers two days ago for a three week visit. The problem I now have is that from the moment I landed she's been off, we've had a chat and she's now to...
A. 19 December 2016: That really IS the risk of meeting someone online. Chemistry might not BE there and you can't "make" it happen. And being charming, sweet, smart, whatever online is easier too, as the other person will interpret things in THEIR own way. No matter ... (read in full...)
Is my supervisor falling for me?
Q. Hello, There is a supervisor at my job who I would always have small talk with and she's very accommodating when I ask her for something work wise. Sometimes I'm so busy I don't get the time to talk to her. I can admit that I do find her attract...
A. 19 December 2016: I agree with Auntie BimBim,
I don't see any attraction going on here from her end.
My advice? Stick to being nice, polite and PROFESSIONAL - you are at work to ... WORK, not look for dates.... (read in full...)
Do I make contact with his other child's mother?
Q. Hi there I getting in contact because I don't knowwho else to ask.I am with a guy for less then a year we have a child a little boy whose a month old well anyway he got a daughter who is 5 yes old who he doesn't see because he said the mother Wouldn...
A. 19 December 2016: I'd leave her be, she had blocked you for whatever reason, so why hound her?
And yes, he could do the same to you.
There is probably a good reason WHY she doesn't want to see the guy, like does he pay child support? Does his family know abou... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not stop going on about an instagram post!
Q. I've completely lost the plot with my boyfriend but I'm not sure if I overreacted. I'm trying really hard to think of things from his point of view but it's difficult. My friend's daughter commented on one of my photos on Instagram that h...
A. 19 December 2016: So why are you with this guy?
He isn't teasing you for the fun of it, he is doing it to make you uncomfortable.
WHO cares if some "uncle" of a kid likes your photo? IF he can't get over that maybe he needs to take some time and GROW the HAY... (read in full...)
Should I write my bus driver crush a Christmas card?
Q. well I seen the bus driver I have a crush on who I think is about 36, I am 33. he is always shy but extra nice towards me and talks very low and mild mannered….so as I am getting on the bus today, he just cheeses and grins with all 32 teeth and says ...
A. 19 December 2016: I would NOT write and ask him out for coffee - the guy could be married with 10 kids for all you know or maybe just a GF or fiance.
And I agree IF you end up giving him a Christmas Card make it platonic and Christmassy.. not use it as a way to t... (read in full...)
I really hate my name
Q. My birth name is Sarah, and it makes me sick. This is a trivial problem compared to some of the things people are dealing with, but I REALLY hate the name. I'm not a kid going through a phase. Ever since I can remember, I have always resented ...
A. 18 December 2016: While I get not liking your name I find it a little "over-dramatic" to have such resentment for your parents for choosing a name like Sarah. I could understand if they had named you Applebutt or something people will either make fun off or can't ... (read in full...)
For the sake of my daughter, should I stay with a man who has just told me that "he wishes I was dead" ? l
Q. i dropped my fiance off at a work christmas party so he could drink if he wanted to and so he wouldnt have to worry about the snowstorm. he was going to call an uber at 11 so itd be there for sure by 12. that was the plan. i go home, fall asleep t...
A. 18 December 2016: I wouldn't stay with a guy like that, WHAT kind of message is that sending to your daughter? That as a woman you suck up your fiance saying crap to you because he acted like a total twat?
Sorry, this would be my exit. Or rather HIS exit. I would ... (read in full...)
I want respect. I packed up and left him after he disregarded our agreement - but how can I demonstrate or convince that I'm not trying to be controlling?
Q. Before I got with my boyfriend I knew he took drugs; weed and cocaine. I really don't like it so when we first started dating I asked how we would work in a relationship, how would we ever live together as I don't want it around me. He assured ...
A. 18 December 2016: Seems like his initial agreement doesn't mean a thing to him.
As he sees it, you weren't AT HOME, he didn't smoke the whole thing so YOU should be grateful for it.
As you see it, HE agreed to NOT do drugs (of any kind) around you, but the mom... (read in full...)
Is he a keeper? After all the white lies I'm starting to doubt my partner of 6 years.
Q. Hi there, thanks for looking :) - I'll try to keep this brief! I've been with my partner for 6 years, living together for 2. I'm 24 and he's 26, and we are usually very close. He's actually a super sweet guy - all my friends think so, and hes kind...
A. 18 December 2016: I'd be VERY honest with him and TELL him that LYING (even white lies) are making you lose trust and faith in him. The fact that he seems to think LYING is "easier" than telling you the truth is NOT a good thing.
I know everyone lies here and ther... (read in full...)
Is it my fault I can't make a man love me?
Q. There are numerous books titled, "Make any man fall in love with you," or "Make any man want you" with things explaining how to make it happen. I haven't ever tried the advice from these books on anyone yet. These books make it seem like making...
A. 18 December 2016: I have to say I'd take ANY book that says "Make ANY man blah blah blah..." with a HUGE grain of salt." Because I really don't think you (general you) can MAKE anyone feel something they don't feel.
It DOES suck when you go out on a date and the ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 18 December 2016: Sounds like a VERY lovely date and guy. I hope he turns out to be as great as he sounds!
... (read in full...)
My inappropriate boss or My boss wants to grab my ass
Q. Hello everyone! I'm in a bit of a pickle. Naturally, I'm a very bubbly energetic person. I hate awkwardness so I do my best to make fun of myself and include others. Especially at work considering, everyone can be so stiff at times. I got ...
A. 17 December 2016: Well, if I were you I'd go into his office ask him if he has a minute, and then proceed to tell him that he made you uncomfortable and that you want him to STOP touching you from this day on. Don't do it in front of others to start with.
Now i... (read in full...)
Karma. is it a real thing?
Q. Ladies, a question about carma, when you let someone else, get your life all screwed up, you know, treat them fantastic , thought you were doing everything just right, never argue, fight just alot of good times, but you actually didn't see the red ...
A. 17 December 2016: I do think that WHAT you put "out there" and "invest in" other people comes back to you. Both the NEGATIVE and the POSITIVE.
And I like the expression that "Karma will get them" - however, most of us Westerners use the word wrong. Karma is actua... (read in full...)
Does it matter that I don't like the present my boyfriend has got me for Christmas? It was bought online, should he have made more of an effort?
Q. Hey guys, thanks for looking at my question- I'll try to keep this brief! :) So I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we live together now. Anyway we both work full time but still agreed to a cheaper Christmas than usual - we would ...
A. 17 December 2016: So did he buy the Pokemon game for YOU or for himself? If he got you a Nintendo years ago and it wasn't a hit and YOU never use it, does it just sit there or does he use it?
And are you sure he isn't trying to throw you a red herring with what he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't control his intake of alcohol
Q. Ok so I have been seen this guys for almost 4 years now. On and off at first (we broke up 4 times and both went looking somewhere else. But would still kept in contact and talk about who we have been sleeping with, then have sex together. Unless one ...
A. 17 December 2016: You have a bigger issue with him drinking than taking drugs? Seriously?
With alcohol, you usually know what a person is putting IN their body, with drugs? You have no idea. The person selling them might say it's coke and there might be traces o... (read in full...)
I'm comparing myself to his beautiful ex and feel like I don't measure up!
Q. I have been married to a wonderful man for the last 4 years and I have yet to find any flaws in his looks or personality. In being up front, this is a question based out of my own insecurities and not from something he has done or said. He w...
A. 17 December 2016: If all your husband wanted was Arm-candy ala a pretty girl on his arm, he would have stayed with her.
Facts are, they are divorced, she was NOT a nice chick, she cheated, they are not in contact.
Maybe your husband actually learned a lesson... (read in full...)
Should I trust this man?
Q. I had an emotional affair with him and he left his wife and adult kids for me and mine. Which at first felt great. But then suddenly he lied to me saying he was going away for the weekend for Manchester, UK with his sons to try and get them on his ...
A. 17 December 2016: You got yourself a winner... *sarcasm*
He left his WIFE and KIDS for you and you felt great? What?
You think he won't CHEAT on you when he cheated on his wife? The woman he gave his vows to? The woman he had kids with? What makes YOU so spe... (read in full...)
We’re the same age but she says I’m too young for her! Do I persevere or do I take that as she's not interested?
Q. Hey guys wondering whether I could have some help. After finishing a bad relationship 2 years ago, I bump into a friend from school i haven't seen in years. We end up getting on really well and going out on a few dates, all of which have been ...
A. 17 December 2016: I'd wish her well and stop wasting any more time on her. If she rather date older men, you can't really compete.
... (read in full...)
Is it okay to schedule a family picture session during a friend’s wedding weekend? We are paying our own way!
Q. Sorry this question isn't really dating related...but I used to come here years ago before I got married and couldn't think of any other advice columns. I will keep it short. Wedding etiquette... we're going to be in Florida late winter for a fri...
A. 17 December 2016: Most people pay their own way as far as transport cost. I'd suggest you consider arriving a day before or stay and extra day and do your personal photo shoot then. I DO think it's a little inappropriate to do it over the PLANNED wedding week-end.... (read in full...)
Can't get over his cheating on me
Q. A relationship of a year ended at the beginning of June. I talked to him before we parted way and felt like I got the closure that I needed. I got over it quite quickly and starting seeing other people. It only just so happens that I ended up on ...
A. 16 December 2016: At some point OP, you are going to have to CHOOSE whether you want HIM to continue to make you miserable or just LET HIM GO. That means NO creeping on his FB page, and starting to NOT care who he is seeing. YOU two are no longer together and ... (read in full...)
Do I give him a chance to show he's not like that, once we have our own place, or leave?
Q. MOD NOTE: your update is emphatic that the name you chose for your account - KrisTaylor - is NOT your real name . .... . ..... . ...... . ....... Hello all, I've recently hit a rough patch with my new husband and need some advice. My hu...
A. 16 December 2016: Since you are staying with him mom, have you talked about the episodes with her?
I do think there are a LOT of red flags here. Ans like everyone else says, it's not about Asperger - those are some rather severe anger mood swing issues.
People ... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 16 December 2016: Very cute! Using boots over high heels also tone it down a little from being "too" dressy. Still classy, though.
Hope you have a great date!... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend lying and cheating on me?
Q. I've been in a relationship now with a man 15 years my junior for 11 years now and with every new year looming I start to question my future with him. I run my own business, am captain of the local golf club, have great friends and two daughters ...
A. 16 December 2016: 11 years and you are still his dirty secret?
The thing with people cheating is that it created a breakdown in trust. After his affair, you are now looking and anything his does that seems questionable and presuming he must be or could be cheating... (read in full...)
I showed him proof that his dating profile was active again it disappeared within minutes and now he's trying to tell me he didnt do anything
Q. Hi and thanks for your time and advice in advance. Been seeing a guy for a few months, been really good. Had a huge row which I think he was over reacting about and we hadn't spoken after over night. I then discover his profile on the dating site ...
A. 16 December 2016: that's too much of a coincidence surely?
Yep. I think he is lying.
You two were also getting into argument after dating a "few" months over something you felt he overreacted about, so maybe BESIDES this profile thing, you really aren't th... (read in full...)
My husband says I am controlling and that everything has to be my way
Q. My husbands company decided not to have a Xmas party this year. Which we were both very happy about. Then today they decided 6 days from now it would be a good idea to have a small party with just the office people. I simply asked my husband if we ...
A. 16 December 2016: I think he is being overdramatic, but I also think you make the presumption that your husband actually has a say in what kind of party his company throws, obviously he doesn't.
And there is ALWAYS the choice to not go.
I wouldn't take be... (read in full...)
Could it be more than friendship?
Q. Me and my best friends ex have been rather flirty with each other for a couple of months now; we got pretty drunk one night in a evening establishment and very nearly kissed, although one doesn't remember who really initiated it and it has not been ...
A. 15 December 2016: I agree,
1. she has told you SEVERAL times you are JUSt friends - she doesn't need to pretend or keep up a facade with you since those texts are just between the two of you.
2. definitely bro-code - you don't go after a BEST friend's ex! Eve... (read in full...)
I need help to find an outfit for my date!
Q. Help! I have a date on Saturday and I have no idea what to wear. He's taking me to a Christmas concert at a church, it's our second date. And I am totally at a loss. The concert has some really good artists performing, known nation wide. And...
A. 15 December 2016: I would dress up, in a classy way. A nice dress and boots sound great to me. (as long as it's not in the overtly sexy look - it is a church after all) It's not TOO overdressed even if he shows up in jeans and a T-shirt.
And what guy wouldn't... (read in full...)
Do I give him a chance to show he's not like that, once we have our own place, or leave?
Q. MOD NOTE: your update is emphatic that the name you chose for your account - KrisTaylor - is NOT your real name . .... . ..... . ...... . ....... Hello all, I've recently hit a rough patch with my new husband and need some advice. My hu...
A. 15 December 2016: I think you need to talk to him and figure out what all this is REALLY about. OR you will be living with a man who might make YOU the next target for his verbal abuse.
The fact that he has no problem doing this in front of you, means (at least in... (read in full...)
Should I bring this up with him, or just cut him off ?
Q. So i've been talking to this guy for a while now. He lives in another state so we don't get to see each other often. There is definitely attraction towards eachother. We aren't dating, but we talk like if we were. So a while back i asked him if w...
A. 15 December 2016: I think I'd just cut him loose. You feel like neither of you should talk to other people, he doesn't agree. And while there Is attraction between you two, there isn't a relationship going on. Just chats.
If you bring it up, it just shows how litt... (read in full...)
Do I choose now or later ?
Q. I have a bit of a complicated love life. You wait a long time for 1 to come along and then 2 come along . Man A is a very distant friend whos more of a facebook friend ( we have met ) he holds hands and kisses in public and the regular stuff couples ...
A. 15 December 2016: I fully agree with WiseOwlE
Neither seems like a great long term option. You aren't really attracted to #1 and #2 is not at a place where he should be dating, he has WAY too much drama that needs to be sorted out first. He shouldn't even have app... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wont have sex because he is anxious about unwanted pregnancies
Q. Hey there! So Ive been with my boyfriend for a year(to keep people anonymous we can call him bob) and I wasn't a virgin when I met him, but he was when we started dating. We've had sex more than a few times but he admitted to me some months ago...
A. 15 December 2016: There ARE other forms of sex than "penis in vagina" like oral which doesn't get you pregnant. Or sticking to using hands on each other.
Personally, I get his point of view. I actually think it's RARE that a YOUNG guy is choosing the abstinen... (read in full...)
How can I know if I'll be open to a boyfriend being sexually polygamous?
Q. I don't have a BF right now, and I have actually never had a boyfriend before. However, I realized that there are many men out there that cheat, not because they don't love their GF enough, (or so I think), but because they just love to have variety ...
A. 14 December 2016: I think if YOU want to be in a poly/swinger relationship then dating a guy who wants to is fine.
If you JUST want to learn how to "suck it up" so you can keep dating a guy, he is not the right one for you.
IT IS OK! to want a poly/swinger lif... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 13 December 2016: You are still making all this about you. Guess what? YOU didn't have to go through the physical and emotional pain SHE did. You didn't even want to hear about it.
Give her some time and space and either she will be less HURT in a while or she will... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 13 December 2016: I'm an introvert too, but holding someone or just LISTENING is not that hard.
It's not a good excuse to not give her the support she NEEDS.... (read in full...)
I feel put off by the way he lost his virginity!
Q. I just found out my boyfriend lost his virginity to a prostitute, it wasnt on a lads holiday or anything he did it to lose his virginity. Is it wrong that i feel put off by this? ...
A. 13 December 2016: You are not alone.
I think MOST women (actually) would feel it's a little icky for a man to BUY sex from a prostitute. And most of us have this notion that prostitutes are walking STD factories. Which may or may not be true.
For a guy in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says our sex life is boring for him, he wants things I don’t!
Q. My boyfriend says our sex life is boring for him. We have been together for less than a year and he is my first boyfriend. He says he is bored with what we do. He wants anal, bondage, toys, and other stuff, I don't even know... The thing is I don...
A. 13 December 2016: Dear OP,
Your BF is trying to coerce and manipulate you into doing whatever HE wants, that is why he calls it boring and then doesn't want sex at all with you if you don't do what HE wants.
You two have very dissimilar taste in sex and experien... (read in full...)
I found out he's communicating with his ex. What now?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months and I couldn't be happier. We are so compatible and i feel like i've known him for years. He treats me very well and is the gentleman of my dreams. However, i would like opinion on a dilemma i have...
A. 13 December 2016: While I get that no contact is often the best they OBVIOUSLY have some unfinished business (as in she owes or owed him money) and I do get that you two AGREED to no contact with exes, it seems like till she has paid him back there will be contact.
... (read in full...)
The guy I like seems to be a really horrible person, what do I do?
Q. My friends are really close to this one guy. It has been over a few months since he started hanging around with us and he's been just fine with me. At first I started liking him and finding him attractive, so I confessed and heard no reply from him ...
A. 13 December 2016: Stick to being acquaintances with him. Keep it totally platonic, he is NOT BF material.
Rumors like this usually have SOME truth to it. And I have to agree WHY on Earth would you want to pursue some guy who is ONLY interested because ANOTHER ... (read in full...)
Dogs versus the Christmas with family? I'm so angry right now, what do I do? I'm 32.
Q. I'm so annoyed right now. I've invited my parents to my house for Christmas but they've declined because I won't allow them to bring their dogs. They have 3 huge dogs and I don't want them in my house. I cannot believe they would rather sit alon...
A. 13 December 2016: Maybe instead of trying to get your parents to come, have your sisters/BIL/Nieces and Nephews? You know people who might actually WANT to socialize on Christmas?
Take some GREAT family photos if your sisters (et al) show up and print out some for... (read in full...)
Dogs versus the Christmas with family? I'm so angry right now, what do I do? I'm 32.
Q. I'm so annoyed right now. I've invited my parents to my house for Christmas but they've declined because I won't allow them to bring their dogs. They have 3 huge dogs and I don't want them in my house. I cannot believe they would rather sit alon...
A. 12 December 2016: Don't feel sorry for your kids, they will be fine. And while I get that you wish they didn't miss out on their grandparents and your parents didn't miss out on their grandkids - your parents have made a choice to NOT want to spend a couple of hours ... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 12 December 2016: She isn't playing mind games. She TOLD you exactly what she NEEDED from you. And you "dismissed" it and told her the less said the better... Yes, maybe BETTER for you, but not her.
SHE was PREGNANT! Carrying YOUR child. She was UNMARRIED and had ... (read in full...)
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