Is it over or not? Should I text her something? Try calling again?
Q. I don't know if it's over or not. She's 35. We met about a month ago and hit it off really well on our first date, so we've been seeing each other regularly since then. She recently invited me to see her at a dance competition. I met her friends ...
A. 13 January 2017: So in short, she is not into you.
I'd wish her well, block her, delete her number and remove her from any and all social media and MOVE on. Why waste any more time on this one?
You now know that she felt the age difference is a big thing, no ... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend likes to 'be in control' sexually
Q. hey everyone . Ive just started seeing my new boyfriend we spoke about lots of stuff how we like and dislike things in bed . He told me he likes being ' in control ' in the bedroom slight bondage stuff and various other stuff i havent tried . ...
A. 9 December 2016: Good for you OP!
Glad you made your stance known. Part of a healthy relationship is trust, mutual respect and being able to communicate clearly with your partner.... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend likes to 'be in control' sexually
Q. hey everyone . Ive just started seeing my new boyfriend we spoke about lots of stuff how we like and dislike things in bed . He told me he likes being ' in control ' in the bedroom slight bondage stuff and various other stuff i havent tried . ...
A. 9 December 2016: You NEED to stand up for yourself and you NEED to set some rather FIRM demands yourself.
I'd say:
1. NO filming. He can make ALL kind of promises they that won't end up on the net, but here is the kicker, PEOPLE LIE! If YOU are comfortable LATE... (read in full...)
I don't know how to fight back
Q. Hi again guys. Actually, I'm so troubled right now. It's about on not fighting back. I mean, I wasn't being bullied or something. It's just that everytime there are people who gossips about me or asking me for a fight I decline. It's not that I'm a ...
A. 9 December 2016: I think there are times where standing up for yourself and "putting" someone" in their place is appropriate, but the timing can be hard.
If people gossip about you, there really isn't anything you can do to make them stop - other than ignoring... (read in full...)
We've never met but after three months of chatting she says she loves me
Q. There is a woman whom I met online, who lives in another country. We communicated for quite a bit of time without meeting in person. After about 3 months of emailing, and one Skype call, she told me she loved me. She asked how I felt. I said I liked ...
A. 8 December 2016: For me? Yes, that is strange.
BUT some people are pretty "liberal" with the word LOVE. Others are not.
Is she too desperate? That is hard to say but I do think she is trying VERY hard to make things happen, make things work. IT IS very easy to ... (read in full...)
What does my narcissist ex want from me?
Q. Hi all Is this part of narcissism perhaps. It's not in my nature to turn away old friends but no doubt he is a narcissist. I have recovered from my dependency on him and have a good solid life now. With a social life, with my family, my own h...
A. 8 December 2016: You CAN be a good, loving and caring person and keep people out who hurt you. YOU do not OWE him contact.
My guess is you not the one person he hurt, you are just the ONLY person who has forgiven him and will give him the time of the day.
... (read in full...)
Was 'going to the dentist' just a cover story? Was he ever 'seeing the dentist' ? Does the evidence suggest my husband is cheating?
Q. Here is an interesting question and it involves speculation and coming up with possible explanations. I am hoping to see how people think and what conclusions they can draw from this situation. It is something different from the usual. Might be ...
A. 7 December 2016: Why was he there for 3-40 minutes if it only takes 10? Um, I have NEVER just walked into the dentist's office and sat down in his chair getting worked on, even worse when it was the pediatric dentist, holy cow we once waited an hour JUST for the ... (read in full...)
A threesome with my wife and another male was my fantasy. So why couldn't I get hard looking at my wife?
Q. How would you explain this? What I am about to say was totally MY idea, even though my wife was very into it once it got started...My wife and I were in a male friends house initiating a threesome with him...up to this point you could say it was ...
A. 7 December 2016: Because FANTASY and REALITY are not the same. While it might be hot in your mind, in porn or erotica, when it come down to it, you were the ODD man out, all of a sudden you had competition (that YOU yourself had put in the bed).
Then there is... (read in full...)
Was 'going to the dentist' just a cover story? Was he ever 'seeing the dentist' ? Does the evidence suggest my husband is cheating?
Q. Here is an interesting question and it involves speculation and coming up with possible explanations. I am hoping to see how people think and what conclusions they can draw from this situation. It is something different from the usual. Might be ...
A. 7 December 2016: Maybe the PI should not have been watching the exits but the car?
And I think FA is more likely to be right, getting a new crown is not a 30-40 minute job. It's DEFINITELY a longer job (unless it's a temporary one). So IF he was there for longer, ... (read in full...)
Am I in love with a creep? Should I get out now?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. We have travelled the world together and have always been very happy. We have spoken about getting engaged and where we will settle down to raise our family. He has always treated me with respect ...
A. 7 December 2016: I DO think it's creepy to take pictures of other women IF they aren't consenting or agreeing to have them taken, though pictures of legs are FAIRLY innocuous and tame. At least it's not up-skirt pics or toilet pics.
And his excuse? What a load of ... (read in full...)
Is this how relationships are meant to be now
Q. Wanted to message in as its been so long since I have dated or looked into starting a new relationship that im just so unsure if things im not feeling so happy about, could be in fact be me with my ways and that I will have to look at changing. I...
A. 7 December 2016: Is this how it HAS to be?
Well, no. I don't think so. I think he genuinely WANTS to spend time with you but doesn't seem to comprehend that YOU are not quite comfortable with "at home dates" yet. Which I think is OK. Personally, I see someone ... (read in full...)
She says it is impossible to communicate what I did wrong
Q. Hi ALL, I need some perspective please. Long story short, a woman I have an interest in and I had an argument over an email I wrote to her. She is foreign and lives in Eastern Europe. I am American and live in the US. I wrote what I thought was an e...
A. 7 December 2016: This is why LDR's often don't work. IT is SO easy to misinterpret the written word even when you know the other person well, you can't always read the TONE, the humor, the anger - and things that may have been a statement of fact, can seem mean or ... (read in full...)
He's become really rough and insistent about sex, is this just a phase?
Q. my bf just wants sex al the time and it is getting very difficult for me/us to lead a normal social life. He used to be very caring and loving but he is like a different person now. He is pressuring me into stuff that i really not sure i want to do ...
A. 7 December 2016:
IT IS NOT normal for guys to use ANGER to pressure their GFs into doing things she doesn't really want to do.
What would I suggest? You START telling him NO if you don't WANT sex or do what he suggests if he gets mad - SHOW HIM the door.
Wha... (read in full...)
Is casual sex possible without emotion?
Q. Is sex without emotions possible? I have only had two relations ships one long term since I was 20-26 and another one short brief 7 months ago- I grew up in a strict orthodox background that was never open to sex outside of marriage or being ...
A. 7 December 2016: I think for some it is. For others? Not so much. I have never had a casual fling mostly because I have always had the notion that I couldn't be myself with an almost stranger and that casual sex just isn't for me. I don't judge others who CAN and ... (read in full...)
My relationship is completely boring and dead but I don't see a way out..
Q. I been with my gf for 3 years. I see her for 1-2 days every week or two. Usually the fun for her wears off after few hours, how she treats me when I arrive to couple hours later. She never really does anything for me anymore, any cooking. I have to ...
A. 6 December 2016: Seems like it's over and neither of you wants to be the first one to say it and DO something about it.
She is taking it out on you, and you are nitpicking her. BOTH hoping that the other says :"enough! let's end this".
You CAN say this is it, ... (read in full...)
'I have given that threesome thing a thought.'
Q. Hello. Long story short. I'm divorced and I started an affair with a colleague. She's young and energetic. She once suggested me to bring a close friend of hers -whom I know personally quite well and is like a friend to me - into our sexual relation ...
A. 6 December 2016: Sounds to me like you are rethinking the 3-some because you want this younger woman to think you are "hip and with it".
IF she is JUST someone you work and sleep with it might not affect what you have much, but if you are looking to build somethin... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to meet
Q. We are talking online, we have many common interests, even if we are aiming for different jobs etc. We live about 2 hours away from each other and have never met in person. However, we started talking about 2 months ago and speak every day, and flir...
A. 6 December 2016: I don't think it's too soon to met now. There is a nice "base-line" of communications made over 2 months. You don't write how far from each other you live (which can be a factor) but I would suggest you make the first date something like lunch or ... (read in full...)
Suspicious my boyfriend might be talking to other women
Q. I live with my boyfriend. I noticed his battery lost 10 % battery power overnight. Is this possible when you do not use the phone? I ask because it has happened twice this week. He said it just fell off the charger. It has never happened before....
A. 5 December 2016: The more apps you have on your phone and the older the phone is, the faster the battery drains.
My middle daughter put snap chat and skype on my phone and those things ZAPPEd my phone in no time, before the apps my battery could last 5 days now... (read in full...)
Exactly what is it he is asking, when he asks, "what do you want?"
Q. I really really really like this guy. We've been seeing each other and talking and everything is wonderful. He asked me what I want a few times. In fact he said he wants me to think of what is it I want in the next few weeks..And I have no idea what ...
A. 5 December 2016: Abandonment issues or not - this is a risk you will going to have to take.
IF you WANT a long term monogamous relationship then THAT is what you tell him. Either HE wants the same or he doesn't. If he doesn't, well then there is no need to waste... (read in full...)
I just found out my boyfriend's best female friend does porn to pay for college
Q. My boyfriends best friend is a girl which I've always been ok with because she was dating one of his friends and my boyfriend says that even though she is attractive, he doesn't find her attractive. however I've recently found out that she does porn ...
A. 5 December 2016: I can't see why this would affect you AT ALL!
Now if your BF talked about her "porn star status" constantly I might be uncomfortable, but I think your BF is the "typical" males who watches porn but really wouldn't touch a pornstar with a ten-foot... (read in full...)
Why does my wife come home wearing different colored panties? Is she fooling around?
Q. So I have a strange feeling that my wife may be fooling around. Whenever she goes by her GF place, she always comes home with different panties on. Am I wrong for having these thoughts that there could be something here?...
A. 5 December 2016: I agree with Auntie BimBim
WHO the hay! checks their spouse' panty color before they leave the house?
And have you considered that menopause, age and less strong muscles have made her urinary tract less strong - so a good laugh, cough or ... (read in full...)
Is it over or not? Should I text her something? Try calling again?
Q. I don't know if it's over or not. She's 35. We met about a month ago and hit it off really well on our first date, so we've been seeing each other regularly since then. She recently invited me to see her at a dance competition. I met her friends ...
A. 5 December 2016: If you think there might be something about her you really like, I'd call her and ask what's up.
If she doesn't pick up your call or claims "nothing" is wrong, then see if she is up for another date. If she declines, she probably isn't as into you... (read in full...)
Can I trust his cousin?
Q. So, I'm dating this guy who is a year younger than me. And it's a long distance relationship, where I've never seen him before although we video chat a lot. He is kind, caring and sweet. I sometimes communicate with his favorite cousin, who is older ...
A. 4 December 2016: Why would you want to date a guy who lives all the way in Ghana? I mean sure it's great to talk to people around the World but date someone you can't really be with, visit often, spend REAL time with?
Have you told your parents about this guy... (read in full...)
From where do I get any confidence?
Q. Dear cupids, Please please help me. I am a very very quiet person and keep to myself a lot. It takes a lot of time for me to get comfortable with anybody. I also get nervous in presence of people I don't know well. I started working at a new...
A. 4 December 2016: You FAKE it till you make it.
Seriously. For people who are shy, introverts etc. the best thing you can do is "fake" it. Learn to pretend you are doing great in social situations.
YES, the social butterflies get awkward situations too. ... (read in full...)
He's a stay-at-home guy. I'm not!
Q. So i have been with my parter 4 years lived together for 3, generally its all very positive we spend a lot of time together and have a great connection. Hes funny and caring and we get on so well but there are somethings that i worry about in terms ...
A. 4 December 2016: Sounds like my husband and me.
He HATES going places. I LOVE it. I love to see new things, do things I haven't done before etc.
After 20 years together with him, this is my advice.... TALK it over, while you can compromise to go to a cabin TH... (read in full...)
My mother in law always sides with her son regardless of how badly he treats me
Q. I have recently had an argument with my mother in law my severely disabled son attacked me , he pulled my hair and my head back and forth several times, I now have terrible pains on my back and neck. I can cope with that but during the attack m...
A. 4 December 2016: I think you need to leave your MIL out of it. If you already know she isn't a supportive person then don't waste your time, NOR is it HER job to keep her son in line. Sorry, he is a GROWN MAN and should know how to behave by now. His mom can't ... (read in full...)
A brief thing with a colleague ended. Am I over reacting - should I be feeling so guilty?
Q. A while ago I had a brief thing with a colleague and friend which ended a bit badly because he led me on and it's still kind of awkward but getting back to normal. He has a good friend at work, and so do I, and we all kind of hang around together...
A. 4 December 2016: Um, OP you CAN tell someone :" It's none of your business"... You said HIS friend pressed you... 14 times... STOP lying and just tell him to butt out of your personal life. IF you tw are friendly enough to go on holidays together... you should be ... (read in full...)
Was this meaningless or is J trying to get me to notice her in some way?
Q. I have a friend who lives abroad and we talk a lot on Facebook. I went over there to visit her and met her friend who didn't speak much English (codename J). We were all out together and had a good time, but the language barrier could be an issue...
A. 4 December 2016: Eh, she might have a little crush on you or think you are cute or hot or whatnot, but like Denizen pointed out... WHAT is the point? You two can barely talk to each other let alone see each other in person.
I wouldn't read any more into it than ... (read in full...)
How should I approach this issue? I feel that my wife is ashamed of me
Q. I have been married to my wife since 2001 (15 years now). One thing that has always bothered me is how while I introduce her to all of my friends I only get to meet some of hers. She is a lot more social than I am and has a lot larger social ci...
A. 4 December 2016: It might be that those "friends" she is keeping you from is more like a gam of sharks, not REAL friends. I can imagine in an industry like the movie one, people have a wide social network with a LOT of acquaintances NOT friends. People you keep ... (read in full...)
Should I meet up to talk to him after he said he didn't want to be with me anymore?
Q. I was with this boy for a few months and he basically said that he's changed so doesn't want to be with me. I dunno if I should go meet up and talk or to just let him go. I've never loved someone as much as I love him. He is my true love and he...
A. 4 December 2016: I agree, let him go.
Meeting up will do YOU (and him) no good. He has already made his mind up so meeting up will not give you closure. ACCEPTING that it's over will EVENTUALLY give you closure.
You know the saying:
“If you love somethin... (read in full...)
He acted as though he liked me but then he went cold
Q. In the begining of October this guy I havent seen since I graduated high school saw me out and spoke to me. Then a few days later he sent me a friend request and we talked for a few weeks on Facebook and he asked me for my number. We went out he ...
A. 4 December 2016: Next time just go slower. Keep the heavy flirting till AFTER you know him a BIT better. Easier to get to know a person if you try and keep the "overtly flirty" out of the equation at the start. (not that you did ANYTHING wrong, mind you)
And d... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has become very self centred
Q. I'm 25 years old and I work in ems/fire. I've been having troubles with my girlfriend recently. I feel like she is becoming very controlling due to the fact she doesn't even live with me but yet gets mad when I have friends over or my dad and brot...
A. 4 December 2016: Sounds like she doesn't really understand your job or gives a rat's ass about you.
I understand that it can suck that your BF just worked 24-46 hours and he's too busy with that to see you, and then he wants to SLEEP when he gets off a double/t... (read in full...)
He acted as though he liked me but then he went cold
Q. In the begining of October this guy I havent seen since I graduated high school saw me out and spoke to me. Then a few days later he sent me a friend request and we talked for a few weeks on Facebook and he asked me for my number. We went out he ...
A. 4 December 2016: Just block him and unfriend.
There is NO reason for him to treat you like this. And no I don't think you owe him an apology or anything else.
Why waste time, emotions and energy on people like that?
Telling him how you feel is OK. Just don... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 3 December 2016: I'm so sorry the company hasn't done anything to help you. And that he doesn't accept responsibility and act like a decent human being.
Honesty? I'd go back to HR and show them the text where the threatened you. That is ridiculous. And why do I... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's libido is so low
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 14 months. Sex has never been frequent or very passionate on his side... he doesn't even like to kiss either. However, recently he doesn't want sex at all and it's weeks and weeks before he gives it me again, but ...
A. 3 December 2016: Of course, he blames you. THAT is by far the easy way out... YOU are too demanding, YOU are too fixated on sex.. all your fault...
Let's face it, he just isn't into sex. He may be HOT looking but when it comes to sex he just isn't interest... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend bored of me sexually, because he has suggested we use sex toys?
Q. Hello cupids. I am not sure where my boyfriend is coming from. I am afraid he is not as happy with me sexually as he once was. We have been together for close to 4 years. Our sex life has always been pretty amazing. I went ahead and booked a hot...
A. 3 December 2016: I don't think he feels the sex with you is boring at all. But he might want to toss in a few toys to spice things up for you both, a little variety can be fun.
It's like eating white rice for years, white rice is nice. Try and add a dab of cocon... (read in full...)
I don't know whether I should take her back or not!
Q. My girlfriend is in the us at college and I'm in the uk working, we are both British and 18 and have been together for a year. She met a friend at college very soon at August time (let's call him Jim) and he was just a friend, she told me this...
A. 3 December 2016: First of all, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.
Second of all everyone makes mistakes. However, I don't see having SEX with someone besides one's partner is a "mistake" it's a CHOICE. Saying NO is an option (most of the time). And when... (read in full...)
Does he just want into my trousers?
Q. Hello there, Iv been talking to a boy I love for a few months now and we've been out together but he lives away from me, it's all being going great and he told me he loved me and it was going so well. He's now said that I don't make him Happy and he ...
A. 2 December 2016: I agree with Denizen
This BOY is immature. He KNOWS that girls want to hear " I love you" but he doesn't know or doesn't WANT to back it up with ACTUAL action.
Wish him well and let him go, he has a LOT of growing up to do.
And while you C... (read in full...)
Is my mom's behavior normal? Is she being unfair?
Q. I graduated from college and started working 2.5 years ago. My sister did the same half a year ago. In case it’s relevant, we were born and raised in California to immigrant Asian parents. Amongst our culture and friends, it’s quite common to still ...
A. 2 December 2016: I do think it's part empty nest, part jealousy (you have a life she doesn't) and maybe because you are the "baby" (of the female children) so she thinks YOU need the most rules. She probably baby your brother if he was around. And maybe she thinks ... (read in full...)
We met online. Is he interested in me, or not? Do I contact him, or wait?
Q. I went on a date with a man i met on a dating site. ( i dont get many ) He gave the lines how he's not connected with someone like me in a while and hes very open with everything. We get on so well i could see a future with him . The other day he...
A. 2 December 2016: Do you really think he is in a place to be dating? I mean if he can't afford to put minutes on his phone.... then transport costs and dinner/date (even if you go Dutch might be more than he can actually do right now.) If he basically lives a little ... (read in full...)
Our sex drives are mismatched! Is he being selfish?
Q. Hiya I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now but the last couple of months he doesn't seem to want sex anymore when I ask him if anything is wrong if hes stressed etc he says he's fine he's just lazy and hasnt got a very high sex drive whereas I ...
A. 2 December 2016: I have to agree, I don't think having a low libido is selfish or that the person with the lower libido should "force" themselves to have sex to please a partner... That is not only ridiculous but a SURE way to "kill" whatever libido is left.
If th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hasn't told his parents about our child
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 yrs I hadn't met his parents till recently and I found he hasn't told them about our child whose almost 3yrs old...how am I suppose to deal or take that??...
A. 2 December 2016: Well, maybe he was worried what they might think if he already has 3 kids. They probably gave him "choice words" for fathering kids left and right.
But it does seem weird that he is OK with having kids, but not OK with telling his parents.... (read in full...)
Should I confront him about this Facebook friend?
Q. hiya everyone i was going through my friends list on facebook this afternoon just deleting contacts i dont speak to i noticed my boyfriend has added a woman who is very attractive and the type he told me he goes for i have looked on her profile and ...
A. 1 December 2016: Really?
It's your job to monitor whom your BF can be "friends" with on Facebook? Are you serious?
So what if she is his "type" - HE might not be HER type. She might be an old friend or just someone he follows for whatever reason.
Inste... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hasn't told his parents about our child
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 yrs I hadn't met his parents till recently and I found he hasn't told them about our child whose almost 3yrs old...how am I suppose to deal or take that??...
A. 1 December 2016: Ask him?
There are way too many variables for me to guess why he hasn't.... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 23 September 2016: You are still the one who DID it. YOU stood up to him, YOU told him enough, you told him this is inappropriate.
When you posted your initial question you KNEW it was inappropriate of your co-worker or at least "iffy". So you have good instinct... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 23 September 2016: I hope the new job situation will work out for you. And I hope your boss (es) will understand that you HAD to go to HR because enough is enough.
Still TALK to your boss about the HR/Bob thing. He should be in the loop.
Seems like you have fo... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 23 September 2016: I wish you good luck, OP.
And I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't the first time HR have heard about his shenanigans, though they probably won't tell you that.
Do the company have other branches? That is also a possibility. I know it could se... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 23 September 2016: I do think you have to go to HR ASAP. He still isn't accepting that YOU have stood up for yourself. I mean when I read your story he shifts from manipulation, accusations, "forgetfulness" and then to bribing.
Honestly? those are like CLEAR si... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 17 September 2016: Yes, be prepared. but also.... if they ask you to leave because they don't want to deal with this, GET it in writing. Take it to a lawyer. SERIOUSLY. Because THAT is totally MESSED up attitude from their side. And IF that is their attitude, it's NOT ... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 17 September 2016: Before you go to HR - WRITE down the whole story from start to "end". Add dates and times if you can. It's easier than going there nervous and THEN have to explain it.
I think going to HR would be a good idea. I didn't really think he would be... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 14 September 2016: Good for you OP!
You grew a set, didn't you?! At least you didn't let him intimidate (which I think was HIS plan when he cornered you). Instead, you stood up to him and gave him VERY sound and rational reasons as to WHY you don't want to be his "... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 13 September 2016: Good for you!
I don't think it's weak to not want to have that conversation face to face. After all, you know yourself and you have had a glimpse of him and he seems VERY persuasive.
My guess is he will do one of 2 things:
1. try and pret... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 13 September 2016: No one is "annoyed" with your lack of spine here :) maybe you are, though?
It's OK that you are not comfortable with confrontation, but if he doesn't "get" the point of yu pulling away you might have t obe blunt. And you know what? it's OK to be... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 13 September 2016: I think he has noticed that you are pulling away and that is why he is now "stalking" you or latching on to you. He doesn't feel confident that you are so easy to manipulate as he had first thought. So you ARE on the right track.
You might no... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 10 September 2016: Hey, if it helps to talk it through with all of us here at DC, go for it! Having a sounding board is good.
But take the advice given to heart, consider it and If you find that it FEELS right, USE it.
YOU do not OWE him squat. Yes, you work to... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 9 September 2016: I agree, STAY clear of him.
If he suggests another outing tell him no thanks, that you PREFER to keep it professional and also DO NOT share any more tidbits about your life or past other that the little casual things people will share with a s... (read in full...)
Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?
Q. Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...
A. 25 August 2016: I'd go. But I would keep conversation to work/casual, nothing about your love life (none of his business).
If he starts talking about problems with his wife, the whole my wife doesn't understand me or other bull crap to try and make you feel sor... (read in full...)
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