His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?
Q. How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...
A. 14 January 2017: Aww, I actually LOVE CodeWarrior's advice.
You said yes, even if you felt is wasn't how you saw yourself being proposed to. So I get what Codewarrior said, he can't RECAPTURE that moment and neither can you, so make the best of it? It kind of ... (read in full...)
Is this the old him again
Q. I broke up with my husband two months ago we spent a month apart. We split as he had issue with favoritism towards his kids and a dislike of my eldest girl and my father. He also tried to control me. Generally his attitude stunk towards my kids and ...
A. 12 January 2017: I'd still ask him to move out with his kids. I would NOT let a man RUIN my relationship with MY kids because HE is a petty and jealous man.
You kids have DONE nothing to ruin things, your DAD has done nothing. You HUSBAND on the other hand?
... (read in full...)
Did I over-react when I was upset about his weak excuse for canceling his visit?
Q. My long distance bf who lives 3 hours away was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only ...
A. 12 January 2017: I'm so sorry OP
Hopefully, you will take away from this that people need to spend time together in person to have a chance at being successful.
And hopefully, you will also realize that this guy? Wasn't such a great catch. He held onto you wh... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Is she being unreasonable? Would be unprofessional to tell her what transpired, when I was asked not to by my management?
Q. I was called into a meeting today at work to discuss something, which wasn't a HUGE deal but which was asked to be kept confidential until he other people involved had been informed. My friend at work asked me what the meeting was about and I sa...
A. 11 January 2017: Yep, I'm with Abella,
SHE is being unprofessional and unreasonable here. YOU were told to keep the lid on it, so your "friend" wanting some juicy gossip doesn't get special access.
Guess who could lose her job if you DID tell her? Yep, YOU.
... (read in full...)
Will guys reject me because of my physical flaw? Would this bother a guy?
Q. hey, I would love people to reply , it would help me so much. thanks. I am trying to work on my self esteem but 4 years ago I was in a bad place struggling with my identity. I rushed into getting a tattoo on my calf. Its quite large, its a vinta...
A. 11 January 2017: Do I think a guy would NOT want to date you because you have a ( in YOUR eyes ...) "ugly" tattoo?
No. NOT if he likes you as a person.
Tattoos are as variated as there are people. If you REALLY hate it, start putting money aside for a tatt... (read in full...)
He has lied and I don't know why
Q. My boyfriend has lied to me about how serious an ex relationship was but I don't know why. He said he and the girl were just friends and they flirted a bit but that was it however while over at his house a few days ago I found an old valentines c...
A. 11 January 2017: Why would he lie?
My guess is because he is over her and has put her in the past. And partly to make you feel more comfortable knowing she isn't as "special" to him as you are. Maybe he sensed that you felt threatened by her? And he thought ... (read in full...)
Why would a man persist with a LDR if he was not attracted to the woman? Why even tell the woman he "loves" her?
Q. Would a man have a long distance relationship with a woman who he wasn't attracted to and even tell her he loves her? Why would he want to do that if he later admits he is not attracted to the woman? Is it loneliness ? Is this a common thing ...
A. 11 January 2017: I agree with Auntie BimBim
Don't be naive and think that someone REALLY loves you when they have never met you or spend much time IN person with you.
Also, I have to say, while it might feel GREAT in the moment that someone claims to LOVE y... (read in full...)
How can I stop him bringing up my ex'?
Q. My boyfriend constantly keeps on about my past. I'm 4 years older than him and had a long-term relationship with someone else before we met. He's only ever really had flings and more casual relationships before me. We've been together 4 years but ...
A. 11 January 2017: I agree, ASK what the F is going on with him. Why is your ex now somehow so interesting that he HAS to bring the ex into the picture so often. THAT you are SO over the ex and wouldn't be dating HIM (your BF) if you weren't OVER and DONE with the ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that feelings have resurfaced for him even though we are both married to others?
Q. Hi guys! My ex-partner and I separated amicably over a decade ago, and keep in contact and remain friendly towards one another for the sake of our fifteen year old daughter, whom we co-parent. Our relationship, which lasted for about eight years, f...
A. 11 January 2017: I think telling him would be utterly selfish and kind of destructive.
HOW do you think YOUR husband would feel about it? Or were you thinking it's none of his business? He is "only" your husband after all.....
And HOW do you think his wife w... (read in full...)
She flirts with me at work but flat out rejected an invitation out. What now?
Q. I have liked a woman at work a lot and I was sure she felt the same, we are both bi-sexual. We've been flirting loads but I know she's not had a partner or sex in 14 years (she told me)and does seem to have a lot of walls up. However she has ...
A. 11 January 2017: My advice?
Quit the flirting. She likes the attention and is even acting "jealous" when you do thing outside of work with others yet SHE doesn't want to go out with you. No wonder she hasn't had a partner in 14 years. Banter is fine, but I'd stic... (read in full...)
His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?
Q. How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...
A. 10 January 2017: I think you should tell him that you were disappointed that he proposed like a 1st grader on the playground.
My guess is he thought he was making a unique proposal and if he did it this way you couldn't tell him no or I don't know, at least no... (read in full...)
Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?
Q. My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...
A. 10 January 2017: My husband had 3 kids before I met him, he had married REALLY young, had 2 kids then divorced. And then he had another kid with the GF he dated after the divorce.
I would NEVER in a million years have told him that he couldn't SEE his kids or ... (read in full...)
Is it normal we haven't got into a fight yet? And is it good or bad?
Q. Okay so basically I've been told by a couple of my friends that its not good my boyfriend and I haven't actual fought yet. We've been together for a little over four months, we irritate and annoy each other at points but we haven't actually...
A. 10 January 2017: I don't think it's bad. People who think you HAVE to fight to have a good relationship obviously haven't HAD a good relationship.
My husband and I RARELY ever fight - actually, I can't remember the last time. WE disagree, we get annoyed at each ... (read in full...)
Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?
Q. My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...
A. 10 January 2017: I think OP is maybe not telling the whole truth here.
I don't think it's about NOT seeing the kid, but NOT seeing the MOTHER of said kid.
I can't see how ANYONE in their right mind would DEMAND or AGREE to never see his child again. EVER.
... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to date other men for sex!
Q. I have been married for 17 years my husband for the past 5 year asks med to have sex with other men while we are having sex it gets him harder, should I? I have explained to him sex is more then sex to me, he says for me to go out and date then. I ...
A. 10 January 2017: What do YOU want?
It doesn't sound like this makes you excited or that it's something you have always dreamed off or fantasized about.
You say that even the thought of this makes YOU feel unloved. Well, no wonder! Your husband is basically say... (read in full...)
My crazy abusive ex got a job where I work.
Q. I was in a emotionally abusive relationship for years. I finally had the strength to get away. For years, the cycle was that she would do something horrific to me, and then break up with me. We would proceed not to speak for a while until she ...
A. 9 January 2017: Yikes so she isn't just the "garden variety" crazy but the calculating super psycho narcissist nuts! (not a diagnosis btw, I can't diagnose her I can only guess as to her mental state and my best guess? she is a narcissist to the roots)
You... (read in full...)
Do women dream about male virgins too?
Q. Dear female cupids Many men dream of making love to a virgin Girl and teach her all about sex. Do women dream about male virgins too? Personally I haven't had this Kind of desire, although i lost my own virginity to another virgin. My ...
A. 9 January 2017: I'm sure you can find people who are up for JUST about anything these days.
I do think the amount of women looking for a male "virgin" is WAY lower than men. NOT because they WANT an "experienced" partner but because there isn't as high a "value" ... (read in full...)
We enjoy each other's company but nothing seems to be starting! Any advice, aunties?
Q. In April last year I met a guy at a local sports club I go to and over the course of the last few months we've built up a friendship and now regularly see each other outside our sports club. We're both single and in our 30s and at the start of las...
A. 9 January 2017: I think he feels you two are friends and nothing more. I also think if he WANTED more he would have pursued it. He hasn't.
So my advice? If you are looking for a partner/BF - he isn't it, look elsewhere.
... (read in full...)
How should I act towards him for the best outcome?
Q. A while ago I kissed someone from work who I had liked for a while. He told me he had feelings for me and we began texting. -But then later said because his ex works at the same place nothing could happen. And then kissed a different co wor...
A. 9 January 2017: Accept that he is NOT someone you want to get involved with in a relationship. NOT WHATSOEVER. No matter the cute and nice texts he writes, no matter how much he apologizes for whatever....
NOPE, write him off as ANYTHING besides JUST being yo... (read in full...)
Don't want this to get out of hand. Should I let this messaging everyday friendship develop?
Q. Hello everyone. I'm a 19 year old female, looking for some wisdom, perhaps telling me what I instinctively know myself but I just need somebody else's perspective. I've recently gone to university and made a great male friend, and currently...
A. 9 January 2017: Stick to being friends.
Wanting him to change to suit you as a datable guy, isn't right and probably wouldn't happen either. Let him be who HE is. If HE does bring up wanting more, I'd be honest and tell him you can't date someone into the drug... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife?
Q. Should I leave my wife? I have always trusted her, but because she had gone out one night about 5 years ago and returned home at 4:30 in the morning, I had started to have concerns. That night, I was supposed to pick her up at 11:00. I had cal...
A. 9 January 2017: Thanks for the update!
And "congrats"! on deciding to put BOTH your and HER happiness first and end it.
Good luck with the new lady and the new life.... (read in full...)
He's asked for another separation because it's hard for him that I don't trust him!
Q. I been with my husband for 15 years. About 6 years ago we briefly seperated because he started talking and texting with this girl from work. He said that it was nothing but deep inside me always screamed that it was something. We got back together ...
A. 9 January 2017: The thing is you two got back together without having resolved the issue what so ever, you both just buried it under the carpet.
Forgiving someone is not easy, but I think in many cases (especially in marriages) there needs to be a resoluti... (read in full...)
I still think he cares. How can I convince him that I am fine? Or should I even try?
Q. I was in a five year relationship with a man I loved. He lived with me in my home and we did everything together. We saw a counselor together because we had broken up in the past. In one session the counselor made some comment about my memory ...
A. 9 January 2017: I don't think you OWE him anything. And I don't think you CAN convince him if he has made his mind up that you are not.
A counselor can NOT diagnose you with Alzheimer any more than the average layperson. So for your BF to take an isolated... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lost his job, became depressed and now won't speak to me!
Q. I'm in a pretty bad situation. I dated a guy for 6 months long distance and were very serious- he met my family, I spoke to his, our parents talked- we were on the marriage track. 4 months into it he told me that he was unemployed. It threw me for a ...
A. 9 January 2017: First of all.. you guys were rushing it. 4 months into an LDR and you talk marriage? WAY WAY rushing it.
Second of all, if he has issues like anxiety you trying to "help" isn't helping him. He needs help YOU CAN NOT give him.
ACCEPT that h... (read in full...)
He still has a dating profile up ...
Q. My new boyfriend ( of 2 week ) still has a dating profile online , hes open about it and says he has 'friends' on there . should i tell him he needs to prove theyre friends by showing me the conversations hes having or demand he deletes his profile ...
A. 9 January 2017: Jeeeeez lady!
It's been 2 weeks! You don't OWN him. It's IMHO perfectly OK to keep your profile up for a few more weeks. He isn't COMMITTED to you just because you have given him the "BF" title.
RELAX or you will push him away.
GET to know ... (read in full...)
My crazy abusive ex got a job where I work.
Q. I was in a emotionally abusive relationship for years. I finally had the strength to get away. For years, the cycle was that she would do something horrific to me, and then break up with me. We would proceed not to speak for a while until she ...
A. 9 January 2017: Why did you allow her to still text/call you? Why not BLOCK her from your life? I mean it's a little late now since you are working together - I just don't understand why you didn't block her before in those 3 years. Ignoring her texts doesn't ... (read in full...)
He wants to move in, I said not without marriage.
Q. Dear Cupid ,I'm at a time in my life now my kids are grown and now I just want to do me.I have this one guy friend who wants a relationship with me and then hopes of marriage. Our kids are all grown and some have children of their own.He wants to ...
A. 9 January 2017: How well do you know his finances?
It might be YOU are better off NOT marrying him, but can live together (if you know what I mean).
But I do understand that YOU have certain expectations and if he doesn't agree to it, you don't see a futu... (read in full...)
How do I make my boyfriend more comfortable with talking intimately on the phone?
Q. My boyfriend can't talk intimately over the phone, and when I do it makes him uncomfortable. Everything's great when we're face to face together but we're in a long distance relationship and spend a couple of days each month together. We've been ...
A. 9 January 2017: If after 3 years he STILL isn't comfortable then MAYBE you should accept that he just ISN'T into "intimate" conversations over the phone.
To be honest, my husband tried that and I felt so fake trying to do it back to him that I just started ... (read in full...)
My abusive ex is dating again. Would it be weird or wrong if I warn his new Gf about him?
Q. Hello all, Ok here's the short situation I was married have two kids with the guy. He cheated and abused me verbally and physically. We ended up getting a divorce and I'm finally free of him. He is living in another county now. He does n...
A. 9 January 2017: I find this so different from the average "tell the new GF" because there is the element of abuse involved.
I have NEVER been in a physically abusive relationship and I'd probably take it with a grain of salt if some past GF told me that the guy ... (read in full...)
Why is he making this so hard?
Q. I have so much in common with this guy why is he making it so hard to be more...... okay so I know this guy from social media. We have loads in common when we first started talking he had a BF he asked me to go to a concert with him but I declined...
A. 9 January 2017: Look elsewhere this guy is a time-waster. He isn't looking to date you.
... (read in full...)
Did I over-react when I was upset about his weak excuse for canceling his visit?
Q. My long distance bf who lives 3 hours away was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only ...
A. 9 January 2017: I don't really think you overreacted here. You DID put your life upside down so you had time off to see him and then he just isn't "feeling" it....
I think it IS a WEAK excuse he used (unless his mom grounded him) - there is no real excuse t... (read in full...)
I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with my in laws!
Q. I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with my husbands family . He has several family members who beliefs and behaviour are very challenging and they sometimes stay with us as they live interstate . Some are currently or were in the past ...
A. 8 January 2017: I'm with Denizen!
What a soap opera your husband's family are! I would take them as a FREE circus that comes around on occasion.
NONE of them are into (my guess) healthy lifestyles and probably KNOW that the weight subject is something that h... (read in full...)
How can I cope with my husband cheating on me two years ago, with a blood relative? He has cut contact with her, but I'm still trying to cope with his betrayal
Q. My husband was adopted as an infant. He later found his birth family. Since then he has had sex with his half sister. It is tearing me up inside. I'm still with him, he does not have contact with her now, but I wonder about his heart. T...
A. 8 January 2017: Why are you still with him?
It seems like even though he cut the contact YOU are still not over this and probably don't trust him or respect him (both which are NORMAL when you get cheated on) - but the question is WHY stay if you feel this way... (read in full...)
How long does a relationship 'break' last?
Q. How long do relationship 'breaks' generally last? My fiancé has suggested two weeks but then said it could be indefinitely, I feel she is messing with my head. ...
A. 8 January 2017: Personally, I think if people NEED a break from their relationship it's not strong enough to last. Taking breaks or being ON/OFF is simply not working for most people because the issues that LEAD to these "breaks" are not properly talked over and ... (read in full...)
A brief text on Christmas but nothing since then! What does this mean?
Q. Really need advice Haven't spoken to a guy who I got close to but it didn't work for various reasons We had a huge falling out but last year (January )he asked to meet me and we had a coffee After that we didn't talk again So this year...
A. 6 January 2017: He probably wants to stay "fresh" in your mind. If you are busy wonder why he is doing this or that... or trying to analyze HIM... you are not moving forward and dumping him (mentally) from your life. He wasn't a positive experience or person, so ... (read in full...)
Why do men insist on commenting about other women's looks?
Q. I was wondering if anyone could shed some light in this for me . A guy was seeing went out of his was to make a point to me how beautiful his ex wife was. I have also noticed before that men seem to do this when on dates sometimes . They seem to ...
A. 6 January 2017: If it seems to be a pattern, maybe you need to look into how you date and how you select whom you will meet up with and date. And WHERE you met these guy (as in maybe the dating site).
Switch it up.
Personally, I get why it makes you feel l... (read in full...)
A brief text on Christmas but nothing since then! What does this mean?
Q. Really need advice Haven't spoken to a guy who I got close to but it didn't work for various reasons We had a huge falling out but last year (January )he asked to meet me and we had a coffee After that we didn't talk again So this year...
A. 6 January 2017: I agree with Ruby.
He wanted to apologize and YOUR happy Christmas text gave him a chance to give you (and himself) just that.
Doesn't mean anything MORE than that.
I would not expect anything else from him.... (read in full...)
My friend said something during our casual encounter - criticism or a compliment?
Q. So me and my friend have had sex a couple of times. There are no feelings there at all. We are just good friends, are single, and have ended up sleeping together after drinking. All was well, but she made one comment that made me a little bit ...
A. 6 January 2017: Was it a compliment?
Definitely.
Guys in your age group are quite often more concerned with their OWN pleasure and release than that of the girl, especially if it's a casual relationship.
Was it too affectionate for casual sex?
I don't t... (read in full...)
I can't get over this girl that rejected me 3 months ago!
Q. I can't get over this girl that rejected me 3 months ago because, I smoke pot, drink, go to parties and deal a little bit of weed and molly to make a little bit of some extra cash when i'm not at school. I tried to hide that I was feeling sad from ...
A. 6 January 2017: First, of, I'm sorry you have a crappy home life. I think you going to talk to your counselor is a better choice than constantly smoking pot. And even worse selling pot is NOT a smart thing either. Get an after school job if you want extra money. A ... (read in full...)
Heartbroken, but I want to forgive him. What are my options? Found out my Bf has been cheating.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years. Lately he has been acting weird and always on Snapchat and never responds to my text but responds to me on Snapchat. One day he left his Snapchat logged in on my iPad and I became curious. ...
A. 6 January 2017: Are you sure you want to STAY with this guy?
This wasn't some minor "mistake" or "transgression" - this was PLANNED and PREMEDITATED cheating, leading TWO girls on at the same time... and now he has the BALLS to tell you:"He doesn't want me to le... (read in full...)
The phone messages he's been receiving from her do bother me. But how do I raise the issue with my husband?
Q. Hello I am a woman in my late 20's who has been married for 2 years. I have a problem and don't know how to handle it. My husband back when we were first dating over 4 years ago had cheated on me with a woman he was friends with at a drunken par...
A. 6 January 2017: I think the sooner you bring it up, the better.
Just be honest and straight forward. I saw XX name on a couple of text you received. I feel it goes against the agreement we had back in the day. While I have forgiven YOU for the cheating, this tea... (read in full...)
After my past life I can't face his sexual demands
Q. I am 42 and have been through a lot. I have been rapped when I was younger and beat by my mom and almost every guy I have been with. I need help trying to figure out something. My boyfriend gets mad at me for not wanting to do a 3-some. I ha...
A. 6 January 2017: OP, you have EVERY right to say NO I don't WANT to do a 3-some. He can get mad all he wants you do NOT OWE him a 3-some. And maybe you need to reconsider this relationship as well.
Giving in and doing what HE wants IS not going to make him CARE... (read in full...)
Why do men insist on commenting about other women's looks?
Q. I was wondering if anyone could shed some light in this for me . A guy was seeing went out of his was to make a point to me how beautiful his ex wife was. I have also noticed before that men seem to do this when on dates sometimes . They seem to ...
A. 5 January 2017: In this case, I think it can be two-fold.
1. He thinks YOU will find him more attractive/charming because he had a "pretty" partner. So he actually USES that point to try and "sell" himself. "Look ma! I had a pretty GF!"
2. He perhaps isn't en... (read in full...)
Is this the old him again
Q. I broke up with my husband two months ago we spent a month apart. We split as he had issue with favoritism towards his kids and a dislike of my eldest girl and my father. He also tried to control me. Generally his attitude stunk towards my kids and ...
A. 13 October 2016: This is WHO he is. He didn't REALLY change, he just "tried" to appease and please you, that is why it didn't last more than 2 weeks. His heart wasn't it in.
The issues you two have weren't resolved while he was away and honestly his "lost" o... (read in full...)
Should I leave my wife?
Q. Should I leave my wife? I have always trusted her, but because she had gone out one night about 5 years ago and returned home at 4:30 in the morning, I had started to have concerns. That night, I was supposed to pick her up at 11:00. I had cal...
A. 24 June 2015: Only you can decide if you have had enough.
I think your wife is full of BS. She "can't remember" a night out at a bar where she came home at 4:30 in the morning? - absolute lie. But since you "swallowed" the lie she just continued till you caug... (read in full...)
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