8 years of trust,broken! Can we make it back?
Q. Hi all thanks for your help first of all I have a horrible problem I need help with. Sorry about the lengh. I went on a holiday with 4 of my friends one of them is my boyfriends brothers girlfriend Side note: I've been with my bf 8 years been ...
A. 20 July 2017: I totally GET why you feel taking the polygraph would vindicate you but in reality... it doesn't.
He won't automatically go:" OH so she really didn't cheat!" He will presume that polygraphs are unreliable (and they are from time to time) or that ... (read in full...)
Does my LDR GF have borderline disorder?
Q. I posted a similar question a while back but I need some more help now more than ever. Long story short, my parents and i all went camping for three days and I told my gf that it may be hard to talk since I'll be in the middle of the woods/at...
A. 20 July 2017: You are constantly struggling with this relationship and have been for 5 months. You apologize for things you don't HAVE to apologize for - she KNEW you would be unavailable for 3 days and still threw fits over it. You write that you are emotionally ... (read in full...)
She makes up things I've said - then criticises me
Q. Hey guys, Need some advice here or just a way to avoid the unnecessary arguments altogether. In short, my girlfriend is continuously saying I've said things I've never said. It's driving me mad because if I defend myself about these things...
A. 19 July 2017: Yep, gaslighting which is a combo of controlling and manipulation.
I get that you don't want to argue but really what kind of relationship is it if you have to apologize for stuff you haven't said? Just to placate her?
I have to agree I would... (read in full...)
I can't deal with his passive aggressive behavior when I don't want sex
Q. I met a guy, who is now my boyfriend, 3 months ago. He has made it clear he is really into me. I wasn't sure if I was atttacted to him enough, but he was lovely to me and we had a lot in common, so I went with it. I was very happy to fiND we worked ...
A. 18 July 2017: Don't date a guy for his "potential". Date him for who he is.
If he can HANDLE a chat about this (like a grown up) then maybe there is room for improvement, but I have found that people who "joke" about things that seem a little "politic... (read in full...)
Should I allow her more space in my arrangements?
Q. I am a lady who likes ladies. I have been toying with the idea of moving across the country to a particular city for awhile and have a good friend there. Through an online dating site, I have been speaking with a lady from this city who seems great, ...
A. 18 July 2017: Find other accommodations. I think she offered up that you could stay there before she actually thought about it.
I would let her know that you are staying elsewhere and thank her for her offer (even if she really didn't mean it totally) and that... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed that he suggested such a crummy hotel. Am I overreacting?
Q. Hi, thanks for your advice in advance. I'm 40 and my my boyfriend is 45. He took his children on a short vacation and asked me to go with them. I didn't accept his invitation because this is a new relationship, we have been together for 6 months, ...
A. 18 July 2017: Leaving price tags on is tacky by European standards (I'm Danish and it's the same there) you either have the cashier put a sticker on the tag (if you buy clothes and aren't sure the recipient will love it). In the US I don't see that as often.
... (read in full...)
There's tension between us but she has a girlfriend. Am I misreading her?
Q. I am 25 yo fmale and feel as if i have som crazy chemistry with another female. The first time we met she stood facing me and we had this eye contact that was so intense, as if buildings in the background had blown up... We never spoke and the next...
A. 18 July 2017: She has a GF so I'd back off. TOTALLY off.
While she MIGHT be (no doubt) attracted to you, it's LUST. She saw you and felt lust. Doesn't mean there is a DEEPER meaning or feelings that PURE lust.
She, however, HAS a GF someone she, without a d... (read in full...)
8 years of trust,broken! Can we make it back?
Q. Hi all thanks for your help first of all I have a horrible problem I need help with. Sorry about the lengh. I went on a holiday with 4 of my friends one of them is my boyfriends brothers girlfriend Side note: I've been with my bf 8 years been ...
A. 18 July 2017: The problem with this whole scenario is that your BF has lost trust in YOU over something a friend did. Something you knew nothing about. Taking a lie detector test will NOT change his mind. He will not get an aha! moment when you pass the test. Or ... (read in full...)
Can't understand what kind of relationship I'm in
Q. I have known my friend for over a year. He has been doing little things. 1: Can you be out by a certain time? 2: I have my own place but still living with him. 3: He said he wanted to tell me something but then stops and pauses and says never mi...
A. 18 July 2017: Be bold and ask.
We can't read his mind and neither can you.... (read in full...)
Husband wants sex and a baby but he's searching online for partners
Q. Everyday I feel more and more sick. My husband always asks for sex but I don't want it, he wants a child but I don't, not even an adopted child, but he insists, and now he's trying to turn me on but I say no. The real problem is he's searching o...
A. 18 July 2017: Why are you with him?
You don't want to partake in sex (which MOST married couples have) you seem mad at him and upset. So WHY are you with him?
If he wants kids and you don't, you two are NOT a good match. NO one should feel "forced" to have... (read in full...)
I can't deal with his passive aggressive behavior when I don't want sex
Q. I met a guy, who is now my boyfriend, 3 months ago. He has made it clear he is really into me. I wasn't sure if I was atttacted to him enough, but he was lovely to me and we had a lot in common, so I went with it. I was very happy to fiND we worked ...
A. 18 July 2017: Honestly? I don't think ANYTHING you say will change his attitude. He really ISN'T joking when he says it's your duty. He means it. THAT is why he says it and that is why he acts like a pissbaby when you turn him down.
It's only been 3 months a... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed that he suggested such a crummy hotel. Am I overreacting?
Q. Hi, thanks for your advice in advance. I'm 40 and my my boyfriend is 45. He took his children on a short vacation and asked me to go with them. I didn't accept his invitation because this is a new relationship, we have been together for 6 months, ...
A. 17 July 2017: I agree with FA,
Send him a list of "suitable" (to your taste and pocketbook) hotels and see where it goes.
I am not sure why you are so offended by a hotel "beneath" your usual standard be proactive instead of acting like a spoiled kid. He ... (read in full...)
Can you stay friends after having a one night stand?
Q. About a month ago, I met a guy on a dating site. We would talk from night to morning every day. I kind of like him, but he rarely talked about himself. I was curious about him; therefore, I checked on him on Facebook and found out that he has a ...
A. 17 July 2017: Some people can but here the thing.
He TOLD you he wants more than to be friends. YOU don't want more. He wasn't on the dating site to meet new friends but to hopefully find a new partner.
He isn't going to just want to be friends.
And ... (read in full...)
I can't believe that after all his drama, HE dumped me! I need closure. What do I do?
Q. Hey guys! Just need a little advice at the moment! Hope you can help! I met a guy at my job that I started dating.. before anyone says "Don't date people you work with".. I usually don't, and I only made an acception because he works in anot...
A. 17 July 2017: Ah well... just goes to show what kind of guy he is.
Chin up and better luck next time!... (read in full...)
Why has he not met me yet?
Q. There's this guy I like.... so he keeps making plans to meet me then goes quiet for the before and day of. Why, does he not really like me? Does he really like me and is nervous? We seem to get on well over text and phone and social medi...
A. 16 July 2017: So he is a flake?
He makes plans with you and then JUST doesn't show and vanish out of contact around the planned day?
He is a TIME WASTER. He isn't GOING to meet. He likes chatting with you but he doesn't want to meet up. Is he a catfish? Ha... (read in full...)
think they are way too secretive and just honestly don't want them anywhere near each other!
Q. Okay so before me and my bf were dating he had a crush on my best friend but nothing ever happened because he was actually dating someone else. We winded up dating about a yr later. We were kind of like a trio before our romance started but as time...
A. 16 July 2017: I think the relationship has come to an end. LDRs rarely working and they definitely don't work when there is a lack of trust and insecurities like this.
THEY were friends BEFORE you two started to date. And then in one swoop, you expected... (read in full...)
Should we try to rekindle our friendship?
Q. So this might not be a typical relationship, however, more of a friendship thing. So me and two girls used to be very close friends - call them A and N so it's easier. Me and A fell out with N over silly arguments and ended up hating each othe...
A. 16 July 2017: What was the reason for all the drama? Is whatever that was something that can be dealt with and moved past?
You say you "hated" each other so ... why wanting to be friends? I can't imagine wanting to be friends again with someone I say I hate. ... (read in full...)
How do I find out if he's in contact with my colleagues?
Q. I used to work with a bloke and have texted him a few times, he doesn't respond and yet I sense that he is in contact with other people he worked with but not me. Before he left he made out that he wanted to keep in touch but instead ignores me ...
A. 16 July 2017: If he isn't replying TO you then obviously he doesn't WANT to. What business of yours is it to "find out" who he might be talking to at work?
HE can CHOOSE who he wants to talk to and whom he doesn't. Unfortunately, you are on the "don't want to ... (read in full...)
A man who she has been dating for 3 weeks gets more recognition than I did in 3 years!
Q. I am so upset and livid right now and I just need some words of wisdom and kind responses to bring me back down. I'm a gay female. I spent 3 years in a relationship with a woman. I was the only woman that she'd ever been with. It was one of th...
A. 16 July 2017: I'm sorry you went through this.
My advice? LEARN from this. Don't date people who aren't READY and WILLING to share you with family and friends. Don't date people who SAY one thing by doing another.
I don't think she is gay at all. She might b... (read in full...)
He kissed me at work and I'm confused
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I am writing with not so much a problem, but merely a situation that I have found myself in. In my workplace people come and go transiently, staying for a few months at most then leaving. Around this time last year I was worki...
A. 16 July 2017: I don't think he has turned a new lead, he apologized because 1. you were angry and 2. he put HIMSELF in a situation where HIS inappropriate behavior could cause problems for HIM in the future.
My advice AVOID this man. If he tries to talk to ... (read in full...)
Things were good until his ex' got involved
Q. I met a guy online in January who is a really great guy. He's a bit older than me but that doesn't bother me. He's 37,I'm 27. We spoke for about 3 weeks before we met for real. We got on instantly and after a few weeks, we began spending more and ...
A. 16 July 2017: Honestly OP?
I think he is using the "my ex-gf needs me" to get out of making a commitment to you (or anyone else)
He is 37. Seriously OP. Too old to run around and hide in his exes skirts every time she yells jump or he feels like you might w... (read in full...)
I can't believe that after all his drama, HE dumped me! I need closure. What do I do?
Q. Hey guys! Just need a little advice at the moment! Hope you can help! I met a guy at my job that I started dating.. before anyone says "Don't date people you work with".. I usually don't, and I only made an acception because he works in anot...
A. 16 July 2017: What a dick!
I suggest you IGNORE any messages from him through co-workers. If your co-worker gets another one, just shrug and go back to business. I think the less you react the better.
Was it the same coworker who introduced you? ... (read in full...)
I almost cheated with this married woman. Do I tell her husband what she does?
Q. Mostly as a result of feeling sexually neglected by my wife, who is unwilling to understand there's a problem, I was recently tempted to cheat on her with another married woman. Now, I need to be clear- there was no sex, but the temptation was t...
A. 15 July 2017: So YOU want to hurt this woman's husband because of something that didn't come to fruition between HER and YOU?
You want to have your "revenge" because of what? You are somehow above reproach yourself?
YOU failed YOUR marriage and YOUR wife. I... (read in full...)
If he likes her then why is he trying to get my attention?
Q. This guy at work acts very nervous and shy around me but flirts with other girls in front of me but this one particular girl is always approaching him and tries to get his attention and they talk and laugh especially around me but he rarely ...
A. 15 July 2017: Honestly? I agree with Cindy 100% but I will say this, this is your work place not a place to pick up guys.
While I get a LOT of people flirt and have banter at work, I find that in MOST cases looking for romance in the work place is a BAD idea... (read in full...)
Why would he lie about who he is?
Q. I met this guy online and we've been talking for six months now. I'm in the US and he's in Canada. We ve been texting and video chatting almost every day and he says that he's falling for me, I'm his dream girl and he wants me to be his girlfriend. ...
A. 15 July 2017: Why? Because he is bored and YOU, dear OP is the entertainment.
Instead of wondering about his actions... Think about your own. You NOW know that he has a partner, that he has lied about things that are not THAT important or necessary to lie abou... (read in full...)
BF's BFF in love with him and purposely interfering...
Q. Hi All. So one of my boyfriend's best friends is a female. He has only platonic feelings for her and they have known each other for many years. I was excited to meet her and then after I did, every idea I had about thinking we would get along would ...
A. 15 July 2017: OK OP, you need to stay away from her social media. THAT simple. You are LETTING her rile you up with a freaking meme! Seriously! a meme!! Can't you hear how ridiculous that sounds?
And OP while I'm wagging my finger at you... because I am. YOU ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wife still comes into the house every week
Q. My boyfriend of a year is divorced three years and his ex wife comes into his house with their High School children to collect any things they have left there when hes at work. She comes in with them and into the lounge and kitchen etc and has a ...
A. 15 July 2017: I would just go downstair or to the door when you hear her and introduce yourself.
She has made her presence felt, why not make YOURS felt? But be polite, be nice and courteous ("kill" her with kindness) and she might realize that she has NO power... (read in full...)
I can't believe that after all his drama, HE dumped me! I need closure. What do I do?
Q. Hey guys! Just need a little advice at the moment! Hope you can help! I met a guy at my job that I started dating.. before anyone says "Don't date people you work with".. I usually don't, and I only made an acception because he works in anot...
A. 15 July 2017: Unless you NEED to talk to him at work, I'd block him and delete his number. Not only is he immature but he is rather inconsiderate too.
... (read in full...)
I'm very uncomfortable around my colleague who has made advances at me. Did I deal with him in the right way?
Q. An older male colleague made advances towards me in a (in my opinion) really creepy and passive aggressive way, half a year ago. I shut him down, almost got HR involved and we had a long frank discussion where I told him not to call me anymore, not ...
A. 13 July 2017: Yes, and I think if he DOESN'T stops thinking it's OK for him to "confront" or "police" your behavior, you GO straight to HR or first your boss then HR.
YOU do not OWE him SHIT. If you are being professional and generally polite at work he has A... (read in full...)
Is it stupid to take back my ex in a month or two?
Q. I had been in a relationship for almost 6 years (engaged to be married) and my fiancé informed me almost a month ago he likes another woman. After plenty of time I decided one night to leave him and moved everything out and back to my parents ho...
A. 13 July 2017: What exactly is going to change in a month or two that is Ok right now?
You two haven't resolved the REAL issue the relationship fell apart and just staying away for 2-3 months will not change that - NOT one bit.
LISTEN to your family and frien... (read in full...)
Is this happening too quickly?
Q. Preface: So, 11 weeks ago I posted a question on this website to seek help with an (almost) four-year-old relationship. Two wise people gave me the advice to end the relationship - advice I ignored until about a month ago when I finally made the...
A. 13 July 2017: Sounds like the new guy is a rebound. Sorry. Doesn't mean it can't become more but I REALLY think you need to slow down.
It doesn't seem like you have truly processed all the stuff (good and bad) that happened in the last relationship and why it R... (read in full...)
I can't believe that after all his drama, HE dumped me! I need closure. What do I do?
Q. Hey guys! Just need a little advice at the moment! Hope you can help! I met a guy at my job that I started dating.. before anyone says "Don't date people you work with".. I usually don't, and I only made an acception because he works in anot...
A. 13 July 2017: OP, you GOT potential closure OVER and OVER.
The guy was NOT as great as you had thought or hoped and THANKFULLY it's now over. Who dumped who is IRRELEVANT.
The fact that HE dumped you because he rather end it and RUN AWAY than work it out... (read in full...)
Should I send one last txt?
Q. Hi all. I rarely get dates so was well excited when i finally got one. The guy said he felt a connection before we met i held back because i didnt want to put all my feelings on him and get hurt. The date was great we did have a few drinks and went ...
A. 12 July 2017: No, don't text him.
The whole "we can be friends" is code for let's end this without drama. It doesn't MEAN he wants to be friends and quite honestly? YOU weren't on a dating site looking for a friend.
You won't get any closure either. A closur... (read in full...)
She still seems to want me. What do I do?
Q. Hello, I was in a relationship for ten years with a woman we will call Sally (not her real name). It was rocky from the start but we stuck together although we never lived together. She stood by me through a lot of personal trials and family d...
A. 12 July 2017: Leave her be, let her go.
She can't and she doesn't trust you. AND for good reason. Being a jerk is not a good reason for your behavior, it's a worthless excuse.
My advice? FOCUS on yourself and YOUR mental health. When you feel BETTER in y... (read in full...)
How much space do I need to give this guy?
Q. I've been dating a guy for a while, but so far it hasn't really gone anywhere and I think it's because I've been putting too much pressure on him to have a relationship. We really like each other, get on really well, have loads in common and have a ...
A. 12 July 2017: I agree, DROP him and move on.
He knows you want a relationship, he knows HE DOESN'T. You are both on your 30's? Correct? So there should be no doubt about these things. Either he WANTS to date you and BE with you or he doesn't. ALL his actions ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my co-worker of my feelings for him?
Q. Ive fallen quite deeply for someone I work with. He is single and has been for over a year, older than me but not by much. He has not identified his sexuality openly and when I told him I was bi he wasn't bothered by this in fact he said nothing ...
A. 11 July 2017: I agree with WiseOwlE,
DO NOT tell him. I think he HASN'T told you about his sexual preference because it doesn't coincide with yours. Not everyone feels a need to run around and explain to people what their sexual preference is.
He KNOWS you ... (read in full...)
How do I get out of loving the "other man" when I'm a married woman?
Q. 4 years ago I became colleagues with a man I met online. He knew I was married from the beginning and he was always platonic with me, or so I thought, Things soon started getting weird between us and he started acting jealous whenever I'd men...
A. 11 July 2017: How do you end it?
You take a few minutes and think about your husband.
If you don't want to leave your marriage and husband how is it FAIR to your husband for you to do all this crap behind his back? Doesn't your HUSBAND deserve more? Fr... (read in full...)
Is it that bad I really feel down about it?
Q. This is so silly but Ive been feeling really down about my friends accomplishments. One being; I've been learning to drive for a good while now and not booked a date for my practical test. My friend has just started (well not long started) and she...
A. 11 July 2017: You CAN live your life constantly comparing yourself to others and it will make you MISERABLE.
OR you can decide that YOU live YOUR life on YOUR terms.
So maybe she has caught on to driving faster than you have, so WHAT? There are things some ... (read in full...)
Are all men vain?
Q. Are guys really vain? I'm an insecure female and I have from what most men say and ideal face and body and I get complimented a lot- I don't share a lot of myself with the men I've been because it takes time - they also have been really bad men- my ...
A. 11 July 2017: I agree with Denizen.
It's HARDLY that men can't see past the pretty faces - if that was so no "less than pretty" woman would get to have a partner.
Maybe instead of judging the guys, take a good look at the kind of guy YOU seem to pursue. ... (read in full...)
The love of my life just shamed my dressing style and said that I embarrassed him
Q. The man I thought was the love of my life just informed me that when I visited him in his home town I embarrassed him because of my outfit because, he says , it was way too short I feel totally embarrassed . I'm in my 40s and somewhat chubby ...
A. 11 July 2017: Since when is it his job to decide what YOU can and can not wear?
Now I get that you want your partner to look the best when you introduce them to people you care about because first impressions matters. But to single you out and tell you that you... (read in full...)
Do I leave my depressed boyfriend who will not get help?
Q. I have been with my partner just short of four years and I can confidently say he was the love of my life. I say was because now he is suffering with depression and will not seek help. He got diagnosed with this in 2013 and stopped taking tablets ...
A. 10 July 2017: You have tried for 4 years to help him, now it's time to put yourself first.
You are MISERABLE. What IS typical is people who are miserable (be they depressed or just unhappy) they tend to drag others down with them and THAT is what he is doing (t... (read in full...)
I feel suffocated by my boyfriend! Is he controlling?
Q. I'm struggling with my boyfriends needy attitude. He wants constant reassurance from me and needs my attention all the time. We have been together 3 years and his behaviour has got worse and worse. He wants constant reassurance that I haven't felt ...
A. 10 July 2017: Gods, OP that would DRIVE me up the wall!
While I get that it's NICE being able to "always" talk to your partner... you can't even take a bubble bath without him INTRUDING? Have you ever just LOCKED the door to get some privacy?
Have you ever... (read in full...)
| *oneypie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oneypie has
added them and they have added *oneypie!
|
