Triangle friendship double cross!
Q. Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...
A. 16 December 2017: So let them both go.
STRIVE to be a better person. Talking smack about so-called friends is not the way to go. If you have issues with friends or loved ones you go STRAIGHT to the "horse's mouth", not behind their back.
LEARN from this. That ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to get it all together to be an adult and be ready for the world but my mom thwarts my every move!
Q. Hey, I'm in a frustrating situation right now. I am a legal adult and I want to become independent and learn how to handle school and work at the same time; however, my mom is dead set against it (even though she helped me apply for a job at Publix ...
A. 25 November 2017: The military is strict, but ONLY up to a point. If you mom think it's going to be like you joining a nunnery she is VERY mistaken.
Learn the little things at home that you can. Laundry etc. Help out around the house. If you want to BE an adult - ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 he's 16 and I'm worried about what people would think if we dated
Q. ok, I'm 19 and I became friends with a boy whos 16 years old and I notice that i started to get feelings for him a little bit so i tried to put it to the back of my mind and ignore it, but recently he admitted that he has feelings for me which is ...
A. 23 November 2017: Would you feel a 16-year-old dating a 13-year-old is OK?
If not, then maybe 16/19 isn't OK either. While I GET that a 13-year-old is a CHILD still and a 16-year-old is not QUITE a child anymore (at least not when it comes to sex but in ALL othe... (read in full...)
I'm trying to get it all together to be an adult and be ready for the world but my mom thwarts my every move!
Q. Hey, I'm in a frustrating situation right now. I am a legal adult and I want to become independent and learn how to handle school and work at the same time; however, my mom is dead set against it (even though she helped me apply for a job at Publix ...
A. 23 November 2017: I think your mom isn't ready for you to be an adult yet. If she and her husband are fighting about money and the marriage is in a bit of trouble, it IS easier for her to focus on you instead of her marriage.
Also, if SHE worked when she was your... (read in full...)
He believes lies people say about me!
Q. I've been with my bf for 6 months now , a few weeks in to our relationship we were having a nice day out when some girl accused me of being a prostitute and since then people have said horrible stuff about me when my bf has been with me and despite ...
A. 23 November 2017: Yep, DUMP the loser.
For a guy to PRESUME that "some girl" is telling the truth but YOU are not - that means he is a CRAPTASTIC person and sucky ass BF not worth your time!
Also, who is this "girl"?
And who are the other "people" who joine... (read in full...)
I flirted with another man but I never meant to hurt my boyfriend. How do I convince him?
Q. Hello, I am looking for advice. Before I get into it, I take full responsibility for my own actions, and do not shift any of the blame onto my partner. I am merely stating what got me to the point of my betrayal. Me and my (Ex) boyfriend have b...
A. 23 November 2017: OP, while I do think it's VERY good that you recognize your part in all this. I'm sure HE wasn't entirely without fault either. Usually, people don't cheat or chat up other people if the relationship is doing great.
You two have had issues l... (read in full...)
Am I missing something here? He asked for my number but never called!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a 22 y/o female from Memphis, TN .. ? I recently got close with this guy that I work with .. We talk, laugh, and joke .. He even gave me a little cute nickname. At first I wasn't really into it, but then I started to really enjoy th...
A. 23 November 2017: OP, he just isn't into you as you are into him.
While I personally would find it an "oh let's back away quickly!" if someone left me motherly advice with bible quotes tossed in there - who knows how he felt about it. If he, Like WiseOwlE suggests... (read in full...)
I've reconnected with an old boyfriend but don't want to hurt my most recent ex!
Q. Hi I've recently met an old boyfriend from years ago ,we still like each other ,I've been in a relationship over a number of years ,but split 3 years ago but are still friends ,it was a violent relationship that's why it ended but I still have ...
A. 22 November 2017: Do you really think getting back together with this "blast from the past" is the best idea?
You mention it was a violent relationship, why would you want to go back to that? It is VERY rare that abusive and violent people stop being who they are... (read in full...)
What is he saying to me?
Q. I was talking with a guy online and never met him .We chat for month so. He had to travel for work. We were still in contact when he were out of country for his work. Finally, he came back to state and wanted to meet me. I told him I don’t wa...
A. 22 November 2017: He is saying he wants to get to know you. And that he CAN NOT promise you marriage. (yet) which I think is fair enough, no one wants to marry someone JUST so they can have sex with them. (I hope).
He wants to meet you in person to see if the two ... (read in full...)
He's broken up with me after enlisting in the Army!
Q. Hello, I need some advice. I started dating this guy, he's the guy I never thought I'd want but ended up falling for. When we met we both and came out of long relationships. We talked for about a year and then got together, after a year of an am...
A. 22 November 2017: The best thing you can do (for you) is to LET him go. I know it's not what you want but it's what you need to do.
I have seen this happen SO many times. YOUNG YOUNG people getting into a relationship and when either (or both) join the military... (read in full...)
Can you help explain my boyfriend's strange behaviour?
Q. I have a bizarre problem! I've been seeing my boyfriend for ten months and we often go away and stay at hotels but the thing is he picks me up after work about 3pm then when we arrive at our hotel he wants to literally go to bed straightaway and ...
A. 22 November 2017: Honestly, OP?
You are PAYING for these trips (mostly) and then being treated like you have NO say in what you two do? WHY on Earth are you :
1. wasting money on these overnights?
2. staying with a guy who treats you like this?
If you are... (read in full...)
What can I do to show I'm working not cheating?
Q. My husband thinks I'm cheating. Why? Because I spend a lot of time on my phone. I'm too lazy to use my clunky slow PC to write my novel, so I'm doing the whole thing on the Notes app. I'm also unemployed (6 months, still job hunting), so I stay up ...
A. 22 November 2017: How can I get him to be less suspicious?
You can't. You are married to a seemingly controlling and untrusting fella. YOU can't change that. THIS is who he is.
Have you considered that maybe HE is cheating and accusing you to create a smokesc... (read in full...)
I asked my co-worker out but she said she would think about it. How long before I ask her again?
Q. Ok so I asked a girl I work with out to have dinner with me. We have been working together for around 6--8 months. I know her pretty well, but not really well, but in the end I just thought "who cares, go for it". So I asked her and she said it ...
A. 22 November 2017: You DO NOT ask her out again.
IF she is interested and WANT to go out on a date with you or out for lunch/coffee/whatever SHE will let you know.
Her telling you it might be awkward is because SHE feels it's awkward but she didn't want to t... (read in full...)
I flirted with another man but I never meant to hurt my boyfriend. How do I convince him?
Q. Hello, I am looking for advice. Before I get into it, I take full responsibility for my own actions, and do not shift any of the blame onto my partner. I am merely stating what got me to the point of my betrayal. Me and my (Ex) boyfriend have b...
A. 22 November 2017: First of all, OP Good for you to accept that what you did wasn't OK and wanting to apologize.
Secondly, I think your BF was looking for a way out, just like you were. He just "happened" to find the chat log and that then became the "straw that bro... (read in full...)
Co-worker's stories make me green
Q. I have recently got a new job and long story short I noticed my other co-worker in my team gets 20k more (out salaries are visible because we work in hr and do the same job ) I must tell you I am trying to mind my own business but it bothers me - he ...
A. 22 November 2017: He is what I call a "salesman" He is CONSTANTLY selling himself. It's like deflection tactics. Instead of people noticed how little he pulls his weight on the job he is waving his arms and going look at me, look at me!
Sure, he is trying to boost... (read in full...)
Any advice on Dear Cupid burn-out?
Q. I know I'm not the most active poster here and I'm not hoping that anyone would recognize me but I'm just gonna post this here for a message and maybe some advice. I'm thinking of leaving DearCupid for some time, all this posts about cheating...
A. 22 November 2017: Sam :)
Don't forget WHY you see all these posts here on DC. These posts are from people who struggle, you don't hear from the ones who are doing great. Like Cindy says.
Though if taking a step back is something you feel you need to do for Y... (read in full...)
New in the office but I'm unsure of co-workers
Q. Should I trust this colleague? I just started at a firm downtown and in my previous role I was very talkative I would open up a lot to co-workers etc (I can’t read people sometimes) in this new job I started I noticed one of my colleagues is trying ...
A. 22 November 2017: No, I don't think they are to be trusted.
I would stick to being professional and polite with these people. Over time (if this is a job you are going to stick with long-term) you will figure out who is a GOOD coworker and who is a potentia... (read in full...)
I'm like a weekend hobby for my boyfriend while his sister and nephew are his real family
Q. I have been dating a guy in a long distance relationship for 2 years. He lives 50 miles away and I only see him at weekends. In the week he lives with his widowed sister and works with her son to help him out as he is retired. The other week for the ...
A. 21 November 2017: He obviously feels a large sense of obligation to his sister and nephew. So those two ARE his priority. Which means you are the 3rd or lower.
I'd have a talk about how it makes you feel that you two don't spend more time together. See what he ... (read in full...)
Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?
Q. Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...
A. 21 November 2017: GOOD LUCK!
And knock them out of the ballpark!... (read in full...)
He's taken my wife. Should I be worried?
Q. my wife an I have been married for 3 years. however things have been interesting for last 18 months. we have a neighbour Raymond who is divorced for a long time and is 44. he has two girls about 8 and 12. me and my wife are both 28. however 18 ...
A. 21 November 2017: IF this is the truth then WTF is wrong with you? And your view of marriage? And what is wrong with "Ray" and your wife?
You need to decide WHAT you want. Do you want to be this guy who lets the neighbor screw your wife and then later just acquire ... (read in full...)
Lost my virginity to a man I don't know or like very much
Q. How do I cope? I recently lost my virginity to a guy I barely knew and i regret it so much.i don't feel innocent anymore. And the worst part of it is i lost to the wrong guy,i always assumed i would lose it to someone i loved so much and it would be ...
A. 21 November 2017: Here is the thing, OP
YOU made a choice. It was a mistake. IT happens to everyone. We all make mistakes. YOURS was to sleep with a guy for your first time whom you didn't really know or care for. It could have been worse. Right?
Regrets are p... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend has a case of " internalised homophobia". How do I talk to him and help him?
Q. I am a gay 29 year old man. I have been seeing a 32 year old guy since early 2015. When we met I did not know his sexuality, but we clicked, and in no time we developed a sexual relationship. This man has never said he is gay, but we spend a lot of ...
A. 21 November 2017: You can't "make" him want to be gay. No matter how much sense it makes to YOU that he is suffering from " internalized homophobia".
If HE is saying things like I am not gay - it might be him trying to convince himself (and you) that being gay is N... (read in full...)
Can you help explain my boyfriend's strange behaviour?
Q. I have a bizarre problem! I've been seeing my boyfriend for ten months and we often go away and stay at hotels but the thing is he picks me up after work about 3pm then when we arrive at our hotel he wants to literally go to bed straightaway and ...
A. 21 November 2017: That does sound a bit bizarre. I can definitely see spending a weekend in bed, but.... You also have to shower, eat, drink, pee.
It honestly (no offense ) sounds like he has "rented a room so HE can get sex and intimacy and YOU are the prop he ... (read in full...)
I'm like a weekend hobby for my boyfriend while his sister and nephew are his real family
Q. I have been dating a guy in a long distance relationship for 2 years. He lives 50 miles away and I only see him at weekends. In the week he lives with his widowed sister and works with her son to help him out as he is retired. The other week for the ...
A. 21 November 2017: If you are not fulfilled talk to him first and TELL him how you feel. If nothing changes? Then end it and find someone who WANTS to spend more time with you.
50 miles is NOTHING. It's an hours drive.
It's all about priorities.
H... (read in full...)
I'm married but starting to get obsessed with the guy my husband and I had a threesome with
Q. Over a year ago my husband and i had a sexual threesome with a single male friend of ours after a night of drinking...this was totally my husbands idea..I was always attracted to this friend but had no intentions of taking it any furthur, even ...
A. 21 November 2017: What do you do?
You stop thinking with your crotch.
If you are not happy in your marriage, you either talk to your husband and put in the effort to FIX it or you end it so you can BOTH move on to better relationships.
Him suggesting the 3-... (read in full...)
I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her
Q. Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...
A. 21 November 2017: How do you cope?
By not comparing yourself to her. OK, so she was lovely, so what? She might be a great person but she was an awful wife and partner.
The guy you are with DIVORCED her. THEY weren't happy together. THEY didn't work out.
So ... (read in full...)
Why would he not see me in 2 months then turn around and say he loves me loads?
Q. hi everyone. person i'm seeing for a year now,we not had the exclusive talk but hes told me we friends but seeing where it goes etc we are sleeping together mostly when we see each other sex is involved 9/10 times it happens now recently iv not ...
A. 21 November 2017: OP,..... DUDE... or DUDETTE!
You are being played and used as entertainment. If you have been seeing each other for a year... and are NOT exclusive but "just friends" who have sex then he is NOt interested in MORE than SEX with you.
Are you... (read in full...)
How will having a baby affect someone with PTSD?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and we have spoke about our future what we both want , i work and he doesnt and that is due to him having ptsd . he has his good days and bad more good and he goes out everyday so he doesnt get low and it ...
A. 21 November 2017: There is no way to answer that.
Is he getting help with the PTSD? Is he dealing with it or is he avoiding it?
How often does his PTSD affect your day to day life?
What generally triggers it?
If he isn't getting help, that should be a b... (read in full...)
Triangle friendship double cross!
Q. Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...
A. 20 November 2017: You can't fix this.
You were a crappy crappy friend to Sam and I'm not surprised she cut you off.
Sorry, but you don't go around and talk smack about your "so-called" friends behind their back, you should have found other subjects. Making... (read in full...)
I am getting weird vibes from my girlfriend in regards to her friend but I don't want to tell her to stop talking to her friend
Q. So my girlfriend had this mate that they've meet on tinder. She calls my girlfriend everyday and texts her. Practically any social media she can contact my gf. Just a couple of days ago my gf said that they've kissed. I've meet the friend and all I ...
A. 20 November 2017: How about you ASK your GF how SHE would feel if you went on Tindr and met some guy that follows you around on social media and that you kiss?
See what she says to that.
I would be honest and tell her that 1. you get a really weird vibe from ... (read in full...)
I have been having an affair with a woman for 7 years and I am content. Is this strange?
Q. I have been the male equivalent of a mistress for the past 7 years. Is it strange that I don't mind? I havent dated or even tried to date because I am just fine with having her a few times a month. I am 42 years old and never been married, but I ...
A. 20 November 2017: I don't think it's "strange" per say, but I think you are 1. selling yourself short and 2. lazy about relationships. And morally, it's just sad.
You give HER everything, make HER your priority and she can't give you that back. She might TELL you... (read in full...)
My world has come crashing down because my wife just told me that the daughter we've been raising is not mine but from her affair after the marriage!
Q. My wife and i have been married for 3 years, 6 months ago she told me something that rocked my core. the daughter i have been raising is not mine. she had an affair 2 years ago. the reason she cheated was that she was a virgin when we got married ...
A. 20 November 2017: Kevin.
I'm sorry for her putting you in this predicament. I find her excuse for cheating totally bogus. If she wanted to have sexual experiences with MORE than one person, she should have done so BEFORE marriage and BEFORE being in a serious ... (read in full...)
Was it inappropriate for my wife to wear the revealing dress just to get back at me?
Q. A short time ago me and my wife had an argument just before we were going out to meet friends for some dinner and drinks. She wasn't quite ready, so she said she would meet up with us later. So I went and met with our friends. She came in about a ...
A. 20 November 2017: To be honest, HER body her choice of dress.
It's not like she ran out to a store to buy a "revenge dress" to have in her closet "just in case".
She is a GROWN woman and should be able to decide what dress is appropriate for the situation that i... (read in full...)
We had plans, should I keep him as a friend?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for a year now and we have recently gotten pretty close. se seemed like a really easy going person and cool guy to hang out with. He really opens up about his life and we have many deep conversations. Well this past ...
A. 20 November 2017: Eh, if he can't even tell you that he can't hang out after all but rather just lie to you what's the point?
I too think your posts sounds like you were/are hoping for more than "just" friends though regardless of that... He sounds like he made pla... (read in full...)
Why does this person not stop harrassing me?
Q. Why would someone who you have told them no and they know you don't want to do the unreasonable request they asked you keep pressuring you and pressuring you to try and do what they want. You have even blocked their calls and they still phone yo...
A. 19 November 2017: You go to the police, OP
Seems like there is something really shady going on and if this doesn't get nipped in the bud you can be in danger.
While I don't get the whole story as it's so very vague - I don't really think you have many option... (read in full...)
We still sext even though he has a girlfriend, how do I move on?
Q. For the past two years ive been sort of sexting/sending the odd nude to this guy. Recently though he's gotten into a relationship, however we have still continued sexting etc. We've never slept together its strictly 'cyber'. A few weeks ago (I ...
A. 19 November 2017: Yes, you are a fool for thinking you NEED attention from him.
BLOCK him and delete his number. If you REALLY want to be high speed wish his well first THEN block/delete.
If you DID at some point in time get to date a guy would you be OK with h... (read in full...)
I sent him a nude, I hope he hasn't lost respect for me.
Q. I posted a while ago saying i had a met a man with quite an usual job- he's a travel author (fairly successful). He is 35 years old, is in the public eye quite a lot and has a lot of female attention. I went on 2 dates with him back in june but then ...
A. 19 November 2017: 1. I think it's it was a REALLY dumb move to send nudes to someone you are NOT in a long-term relationship with. But that may just be MY personal opinion. I think it's AS inappropriate as men sending UNSOLICITED dick pics.
2. Does he want more tha... (read in full...)
Where do you go to meet momen?
Q. I still don't get where a guy is supposed to try and meet single women. Why is it so hard at my age? Everyone says that gym is a bad idea.. the bar is a bad idea, workplace is off limits, etc. You can't approach a woman at the park because you will ...
A. 18 November 2017: Meetup groups, hobby groups, through friends and family. If you belong to a church that can also be a good place.
There are dating apps as well.
... (read in full...)
Is this the right person to hang out with?
Q. Should I go back to hanging out with this friends - I had a friend that stopped talking to me because I called her out on her actions. One of my colleagues and I started having out and became friends - it’s a new friendship and within three months ...
A. 18 November 2017: Honestly?
Doesn't sound like a person who really WANTS friendships with women. And how long do you think it would take for her to try and poach YOUR partner (if/when you have one?)
While I can totally see being friends with someone who has ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is exhausting me!
Q. My gf is exhausting me. I'm fully convinced that she could argue for hours with a person who believes the grass is green and tell them no it isn't - it's blue. And then immediately turn right around and tell someone who believes the grass is blue ...
A. 18 November 2017: It can be so many things going on.
1. She might feel intellectually inferior and thus HAS to argue and "win" to prove she isn't.
2. She might feel intellectually superior and thus wants to constantly SHOW off. But again, the need to show off... (read in full...)
How can I learn my value?
Q. How Can I learn my value? I am insecure and I have let people walk over me - use me- and leave me - friends and lovers . I have worked on the outside (lost the weight - got the degrees - got a better corporate job) but I still fear saying no- I ...
A. 17 November 2017: You start small. One step at a time.
Saying no is NOT offensive (for the most part) but for some women (and some men) who were raised to "obey" and "be nice" it can be hard to so. So you start small.
Someone asks you for a favor you don't ... (read in full...)
What is he doing? His last text said he still wants me but that was November third!
Q. hi i am seeing a man, don't what sort of relationship it is but hes not text me in 2 weeks and not seen me in 2 months now, i did text him 2 weeks ago asking whats going on my text to him was " how are you ive not heard off you in weeks how can yo...
A. 17 November 2017: Just block his number.
If he was in the hospital or OH SO busy with work he could have told you beforehand that he would not be as much in touch because of XYZ.
He is making up excuses because you called him out for not bothering to con... (read in full...)
Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?
Q. Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...
A. 14 November 2017: As a person who has interviewed people, I say yes. Do it. Make it short, professional and memorable (if possible - just not over the top).
You might never apply or interview with this person but I think sending a thank you for the chance, the expe... (read in full...)
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