Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?
Q. Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...
A. 21 November 2017: GOOD LUCK!
And knock them out of the ballpark!... (read in full...)
What is he doing? His last text said he still wants me but that was November third!
Q. hi i am seeing a man, don't what sort of relationship it is but hes not text me in 2 weeks and not seen me in 2 months now, i did text him 2 weeks ago asking whats going on my text to him was " how are you ive not heard off you in weeks how can yo...
A. 17 November 2017: Just block his number.
If he was in the hospital or OH SO busy with work he could have told you beforehand that he would not be as much in touch because of XYZ.
He is making up excuses because you called him out for not bothering to con... (read in full...)
How to deal with a more sexually experienced partner?
Q. I'm a male virgin who's never kissed a girl or been on a date. I'm not particularly handsome either and I am obese. I will be visiting an escort in a few weeks to lose my virginity. Finally I'll get to feel what intimacy is like. However I've b...
A. 17 November 2017: Having had more partners doesn't automatically means you are "better" at sex. Some people don't really WANT to "learn" or focus on their partner while others do.
What works for ONE woman may not work as well for the next - same with guys. Yes, the... (read in full...)
Should I leave a little heart in his desk?
Q. Is it ok to leave a little heart in his desk? Just want to know some opinions. There's this guy at work that I like and I'm sure he likes me too. But I think it was my mistake by not showing interest in him and I think he has distanced a littl...
A. 17 November 2017: I agree with the other aunties, you are not a teenager, stop acting like one. Leaving "heart-notes" is for teens and newlyweds.
1. he is a coworker - workplace romances can be seen (in some companies) as rather inappropriate. Trying to use your... (read in full...)
Could this relationship be wrong?
Q. I am falling in love with my soon to be step uncle and I don't know what to do. Do I end things now before it gets out of hand or do we carry on being like we are and tell people about us ? Is it forbidden to date him ??...
A. 17 November 2017: Have you asked your mom/dad?
Maybe it would be a good idea to ASK the people who might be affected by this relationship.... (read in full...)
Could this relationship be wrong?
Q. I am falling in love with my soon to be step uncle and I don't know what to do. Do I end things now before it gets out of hand or do we carry on being like we are and tell people about us ? Is it forbidden to date him ??...
A. 16 November 2017: I agree you leave out a LOT of detail. His age for one. And exactly how he is your "soon to be" step-uncle.
I'd say if he is more then 3-4 years older than you, it's probably not a great idea. While you are an adult at 18 dating someone MUCH old... (read in full...)
Help me find my way out of these abusive traps
Q. I am in a 16-year-relationship that became sexless and violent, abusive. I was thrown out the house in middle of night. I left and he wants me back. While away I met another man who I fell in love with and been seeing for a year this man seems quite ...
A. 16 November 2017: CUT contact with BOTH men. Focus on you.
While I get that it's lovely that they WANT you - it seems more like they regard you as an object to control and abuse rather than a person to CARE for.
Controlling someone is NOT love. It's power plays... (read in full...)
Gossip mongers got me going
Q. How do u act around people that gossip? I recently started a job and I noticed that two of my coworkers are partaking in chit chat - one of them first asked for my social media accounts right away (I only knew him for a month) and he wanted to add ...
A. 16 November 2017: You can always change the subject. Or like Cindy suggest -
just don't have an opinion on subjects that make you feel uncomfortable. Personally, I have always tried to stay out of the mean gossip when working in office environments. It can just turn... (read in full...)
If we could be friends should I try?
Q. Should I keep speaking to him, and try and be friends? I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about 2 weeks ago and it's killing me. We broke it off about 2 months ago, then briefly got back together before we realised nothing had changed. We'...
A. 16 November 2017: I'm sorry OP
Breaking up is never fun. In your case, it HAD to be done.
I think the LAST thing you should try, is to be his "friend" - it will NOT help you properly move on and it will only hurt you further.
Doesn't mean YOU have to ignore ... (read in full...)
Should I be the first to call like always, or should I let her reach out this time?
Q. I have been in a seven-year relationship with my girlfriend/ex-girlfriend (I'm not sure which is accurate at this point). We have always struggled with how we resolve conflict. We've been through the break-up-make-up cycle many times. Each time ...
A. 15 November 2017: Don't ignore her, just tell her that you rather not do this for her.
If things are over they are OVER, they are not "well you can still DO things for me"... That will turn into a dragged out thing as well.
And it's NOT like you two are just "fr... (read in full...)
Should I be the first to call like always, or should I let her reach out this time?
Q. I have been in a seven-year relationship with my girlfriend/ex-girlfriend (I'm not sure which is accurate at this point). We have always struggled with how we resolve conflict. We've been through the break-up-make-up cycle many times. Each time ...
A. 15 November 2017: OP, I have a question for you, if you don't mind?
Do you wish to spend 8 or 9 or 10 or more, years doing this crap over and over and over and over?
It sounds like you two are having a "Groundhog Day" relationship. While things can be great it ... (read in full...)
Should we remain friends
Q. I left a man i love because he preferred open relationships. He took the initiative to remain in touch with me by occasionally texting me and asking me out. One one hand, i was still attracted to him and my heart beat whenever i saw his messages. On ...
A. 15 November 2017: OP, dust yourself off.
You say you feel you allowed him to drag you to a low point. I absolutely get that. At times we ALL compromise our standards out of fear, love, hope etc.
With him, you DID compromise your standards because there we... (read in full...)
Should we remain friends
Q. I left a man i love because he preferred open relationships. He took the initiative to remain in touch with me by occasionally texting me and asking me out. One one hand, i was still attracted to him and my heart beat whenever i saw his messages. On ...
A. 15 November 2017: If I were you I would wish him well and cut him off. He wants several partners and you want one - which means you are absolutely incompatible. And friends? Well, you two AREN'T friends. You are two people who are attracted to each other but not a ... (read in full...)
My dad intentionally tried to shame and humiliate me at my wedding.
Q. I've had a very distressed relationship with my family since I was born really. It's pure dysfunction. My mom is mentally ill and I no longer communicate with her. Leaving me and my sister to look up to and rely on my dad as a sole parent for most ...
A. 15 November 2017: Why does he do it?
1. he CAN.
2. Because he knows he gets a reaction out of you. It gives him "power" somehow.
3. He probably has some narcissistic sociopath tendencies.
You sister? Because it's EASIER to join your dad and throw YOU unde... (read in full...)
Should I tell my daughter about her biological father?
Q. This is a family question, my daughter doesn't know who her biological father is but from the time she was a baby my boy friend has been her dad and plans on adopting her. She knows that he's not her bio dad. Her bio dad had his rights terminated, ...
A. 15 November 2017: I don't know her age so this is cursory advice.
IF she asks, WHO is my dad I would tell her that he wasn't a good man but that he gave you the best gift in the world, which is her. You can (if she asks) tell her his name (first name only). I... (read in full...)
Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?
Q. Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...
A. 14 November 2017: As a person who has interviewed people, I say yes. Do it. Make it short, professional and memorable (if possible - just not over the top).
You might never apply or interview with this person but I think sending a thank you for the chance, the expe... (read in full...)
Why do I seem to be flavour of the month?
Q. I have an ex whom I've been split from for about six months. He's since been off and on with a new girlfriend and I've been single. Here lately a few of his friends have been flirting with me like crazy. One is even married! The married friend ...
A. 13 November 2017: OP, don't worry about what stuff your ex-bf might or might not have said. THERE is no way you can "control" that.
While I get that it's not nice knowing that someone MIGHT (or might not) be saying crap behind your back you need to let it run off ... (read in full...)
He duped me! How do I learn the red flags and move on?
Q. I had seen this guy in a walking group over the past 5 months. We were friends a few years ago but lost touch. Over the months he has dropped hints that he likes me, has cuddled and held me for long periods of time and kissed my cheek in a loving ...
A. 13 November 2017: Ignore him.
I think the whole getting a friend to talk to you was a kind of intimidation move. Maybe he was hoping you would feel uncomfortable and leave. He knows you were feeling stressed that is why he roped the friends into his scheme. ... (read in full...)
Is $3000 too cheap for an engagement ring for a high maintenance girlfriend given my income and background?
Q. Hi, I would appreciate if you can help me with my question. If a guy is a university professor, in his mid 40s with some debt from divorce, planning to propose to his high maintenance girlfriend who is beautiful and highly educated do you think ...
A. 13 November 2017: Anyone (IMHO) who looks at the price of the engagement ring as a good indicator of how well a man will be as a husband needs her head examined.
Can you AFFORD a $3,000 ring?
Do you WANT to spend $3,000 on a ring?
If yes, then proceed.
B... (read in full...)
Why do I seem to be flavour of the month?
Q. I have an ex whom I've been split from for about six months. He's since been off and on with a new girlfriend and I've been single. Here lately a few of his friends have been flirting with me like crazy. One is even married! The married friend ...
A. 13 November 2017: Who knows? OP
There is no real way of knowing WHY they started "open flirting season" on you. It could VERY well be that you ex-bf have said things but it can also just be that this is how they act. Maybe they think OH she is still single after 6 ... (read in full...)
I love someone more than my boyfriend. And I cheated on him with the other person.
Q. So i recently cheated on my boyfriend. This is actually quite a long story but I’ll try to sum it up as much as possible. Early this summer I started talking to this guy, let’s call him James, we’ll james and I hit it off. He was perfect beyond ...
A. 13 November 2017: Break up with Dennis. It's not fair to him that you are cheating on him with someone else.
Doesn't MATTER that you don't feel guilty you are STILL doing something you shouldn't be doing to a partner.
LEARN from this. Life doesn't just rev... (read in full...)
Do I fight to keep her or let her go?
Q. So out of the blue my fiance has broken up with me, we've been together almost 3 years and engaged since May. I love her and want to be with her, she says it's because of my messiness and it's effect on her mental health. I've never been this ope...
A. 13 November 2017: Is she right about you being a messy person? Is it something you can and want to change?
She did the right thing in breaking up. If you are messy to a point that it affects her, then things weren't working out for her. And my guess is she has ... (read in full...)
My sister's boyfriend kissed me and now we've been making out behind her back!
Q. My sisters boyfriend kissed me what should I do?? I’m 15 years old and my sisters boyfriend is 19 they’ve been dating for about a year I’ve known him as long as she has known him. This all started about 3 months ago when he started grabbing...
A. 13 November 2017: Your sister's BF is gross.
He is 19? And chasing a 15-year-old, and not only that the BABY-sister of his GF.
1. You wouldn't want YOUR BF to go around behind your back kissing your sister, right? So why would it be OK for you to do?
2. He ... (read in full...)
What's the ettiquette regarding texting?
Q. Hello aunties and uncles, I am a gay male and I have a bit of a general "romantic interest" in the modern social media era type of question. To abridge all the details, there's this gay guy I am very interested in. We know each other for quite ...
A. 13 November 2017: He sounds like a flake.
TBH. I think he is not as interested in those drinks (as he claims) nor in you. I think he really just enjoys knowing that you are just "dying" to meet up.
If he WAS interested he wouldn't do the same thing over and o... (read in full...)
My best friend is faking he is straight even though we had sex.
Q. I'm a bi man and in the last year I've had intimate moments with my best friend, for whom I have always had doubts regarding his orientation. It's true that we have both enjoyed it but recently he seems to distance himself from situations where ...
A. 12 November 2017: I think the two of you NEED to have an ADULT conversation. While he might be touchy-feely and like being around you it doesn't MEAN he wants to have a sexual relationship with you. Maybe he is in denial, maybe he just isn't into sex with you.
... (read in full...)
Difficulty with old and new loyalties
Q. Hi. I will try to make this brief but there is a lot going on in my life at the moment. I have been separated 6 years now coming to the end of a divorce although we are amicable my spouse wants still to be friends. We both have new partners alt...
A. 12 November 2017: I get that you still feel a sense of responsibility and friendship towards you ex-wife but your new GF feels your priorities are skewered in your ex-wife favor, not hers.
I think it's TIME you cut the apron strings. Your ex-wife is a grown wo... (read in full...)
Mixed up by his communication
Q. I was dating this guy a while back. It's kind of a long story and I guess I just want some opinions on his actions or reasons why. I had moved to the city for some short term work. We had met at a bar but nothing really went further than tha...
A. 12 November 2017: I think he was in a lull. He had nothing "better" going on so he went to the LAST girl whom he had a bond, chemistry with (you) and put feelers out to see if you were interested again. You took the bait and then he might have realized:" wait, this ... (read in full...)
Walked into an awkward love triangle
Q. Hi, for the last 6 months or so I have liked one of the men (call him Tim) from my workplace. He is one of quite a few men and women that are in our lunch group and we all go out for drinks and things like that fairly often. He has been in a co...
A. 12 November 2017: You can't call dibs on a guy. It's that simple.
You and Tim decided that there is no immediate future here (unless you want something casual) and the fact that you are Sally's friend doesn't help either.
I get that you "kinda" like him and was... (read in full...)
He wants to finger me but we don't want to have sex
Q. Hey am just 20 and my boyfriend wants to finger me... But we don't want to have sex... Is it OK... Or possible.. ...
A. 12 November 2017: It all depends.
You think doing a SEXUAL act (and yes, fingering is a sexual act, just like oral, anal, intercourse is) is something you two should be doing?
If he wants to do this... what might he want to do after that? You DO know that he ... (read in full...)
How much does having a girlfriend actually cost?
Q. So, I was telling my roommate about my plans to build a new computer and media center for the living room, and he told me I should get a girlfriend (instead of appreciating my contributions to the house). While he might or might not be right, I ...
A. 12 November 2017: You planning on renting a GF?
Having a partner can definitely be more expensive than being single but it doesn't necessarily COST a lot more. Unless you are of that notion that the guy MUST pay for everything.
If you date a girl who is fina... (read in full...)
I am the mother of five young girls and just found my boyfriend looking at teen girl porn
Q. My boyfriend is looking teen porn almost every day. He promised me a couple months ago to never do it again when I found stuff that looked WAY too young and wrong. I about had a break down because I have 5 girls almost ready to be teenagers. How is ...
A. 12 November 2017: Well, looking at 13-year-old teens IS child porn (if they are 13) but even if they are 18 looking 13... it's STILL LOOKING for someone who isn't out of childhood.
So for me, this would still be a no-go.
... (read in full...)
My best friend is faking he is straight even though we had sex.
Q. I'm a bi man and in the last year I've had intimate moments with my best friend, for whom I have always had doubts regarding his orientation. It's true that we have both enjoyed it but recently he seems to distance himself from situations where ...
A. 12 November 2017: So stop trying to get intimacy back in the picture. Have a talk and tell him that you "get it" it was a one-off and that you two can continue JUST being friends with no expectations of EVER having intimacy again.
YOU are the one making it awkward.... (read in full...)
Did I overreact to a situation? Some co-workers say I did and now I feel uncomfortable
Q. Hey guys this is not a romance question But I just need an opinion as to wether I'm being silly or not Ok there was a work leaving drink a few weeks ago At the drink was a guy ive never seen eye to eye to at work My friend who I was with h...
A. 11 November 2017: Yes, I did misunderstand your post -it wasn't very clean (at least to me) So sorry for that.
Then the friend who "spoke up for you" needs to be the one "chastised" here and YOU can do that. You can do it in a polite non-drama way - as in taking h... (read in full...)
I am the mother of five young girls and just found my boyfriend looking at teen girl porn
Q. My boyfriend is looking teen porn almost every day. He promised me a couple months ago to never do it again when I found stuff that looked WAY too young and wrong. I about had a break down because I have 5 girls almost ready to be teenagers. How is ...
A. 11 November 2017: OP, I certainly gave my adviced based on the headline but also that you mentioned:
"I about had a break down because I have 5 girls almost ready to be teenagers. "
" I care about those 5 girls more than anything."
If you had mentioned that t... (read in full...)
Did I overreact to a situation? Some co-workers say I did and now I feel uncomfortable
Q. Hey guys this is not a romance question But I just need an opinion as to wether I'm being silly or not Ok there was a work leaving drink a few weeks ago At the drink was a guy ive never seen eye to eye to at work My friend who I was with h...
A. 11 November 2017: So what you are saying is, YOU are allowed to have an opinion but this other coworker is not?
You don't HAVE to agree with or accept her criticism but you might want to listen to it. Because THAT is how this coworker saw your actions. Now you can ... (read in full...)
Its a year of no contact with married man, I suspect his friends are contacting me on facebook.
Q. Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read my question. It's a messed up situation but I've been coming here off and on over the situation for a few years now. Several years ago and crush turned into a long term affair with a married ...
A. 11 November 2017: Block him.
Even if it was just a RANDOM guy - you owe NO ONE an update on your love life.
You might also want to consider beefing up your privacy settings.
At some point in your life, you need to forgive yourself and let that part of your pa... (read in full...)
I'm sorry I took her back ... should I end it?
Q. SHould i end wid her? she and i came in relation even if she had a boyfriend back then. i somehow convinced her to come in relation. cuz i loved her. but she was kinda confused between him and me. been in relation for 2 months. i had to leave the...
A. 11 November 2017: Yes, you should end it.
It didn't work out in the long run and that happens. She liked the IDEA of dating you, but the reality of her ex-BF. You liked the IDEA of her but not the reality.
And here is the thing, OP - when you pursue a girl wh... (read in full...)
How can a wife cheat for 3 years and act like everything is ok?
Q. After I found out that my wife was having a three year affair with another man, I gave her an ultimatum and she ended it....she eventually told me that she made a big mistake, and didnt know what she was thinking the past three years...I found out ...
A. 11 November 2017: She said she was sorry...
I think she IS sorry. NOT because of what she did HURT you and killed the trust in the marriage but because she got CAUGHT.
Are YOU really sure you want to stay married to someone who spends 3 YEARS making a "mistak... (read in full...)
Why did my LDR boyfriend block me after I made a comment on one of his photos?
Q. ok this is short but I just can't understand it.. my bf blocked me from his facebook as soon I commented one of his recent pictures, (i said: how long is this pic?) and he blocked me after it. I am from the USA he is from Iraq, we have been together ...
A. 11 November 2017: I would take him blocking you as a CLEAR sign that the relationship is over, then I would BLOCK and DELETE him from your life.
My guess is, he is Muslim and thus it's NOT appropriate for him to HAVE a GF. When you comment on his pictures it makes... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with my boyfriend! How much longer do I give him and how far does “for better or worse” really go?
Q. I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years, engaged for 6. I’m at the end of my rope and I know what I need to do but lack the ability to do it. I’m 28, a recent college grad, and have a job working at a hospital which supports me completely. He’s 34, ...
A. 11 November 2017: You have tried to carry your BF or fiance for 7 years hoping he would somehow morph into the man you WANT him to be and that you THINK he can be - but it hasn't happened.
Because? You are dating a guy for his potential, not for who he is. Sure he ... (read in full...)
What does his taste in porn say about what he's actually fantasizing about?
Q. Would love some male opinions on a porn question.... My husband watches "cheating wife" porn. The "subject" confuses me. Is it a fantasy about cheating with another married woman, or a fantasy about his wife (me) cheating with someone, ie: cuc...
A. 10 November 2017: Could be either - but... that doesn't mean he wants to play it out in reality. Maybe it's more in the line of a VERY "naughty" wife?
However, if you want to know... ASK him?... (read in full...)
I'm growing uncomfortable with his questions! Should I go meet him for coffee?
Q. Dear Cupid, I met a 41 year old guy who describes himself as sophisticated, also wants a sophisticated lady, online.He writes he is ready for a new relationship. He writes he has never been married, has no children and lives alone. He has a ...
A. 9 November 2017: I think the fact that he is trying to turn it sexual SO soon is a bit of a red flag.
The whole high heels and boots... it's just an odd subjects.
If you feel a bit weirded out, I'd listen to that gut instinct and not take it further.
Aski... (read in full...)
I am the mother of five young girls and just found my boyfriend looking at teen girl porn
Q. My boyfriend is looking teen porn almost every day. He promised me a couple months ago to never do it again when I found stuff that looked WAY too young and wrong. I about had a break down because I have 5 girls almost ready to be teenagers. How is ...
A. 9 November 2017: This would be a deal breaker for me. Absolutely.
While I DO understand that porn isn't always indicative of what people WANT in reality - it's fantasy. The fact that his SEXUAL fantasies involve VERY young looking girls and you have 5 YOUNG gi... (read in full...)
He duped me! How do I learn the red flags and move on?
Q. I had seen this guy in a walking group over the past 5 months. We were friends a few years ago but lost touch. Over the months he has dropped hints that he likes me, has cuddled and held me for long periods of time and kissed my cheek in a loving ...
A. 6 November 2017: Just be polite but otherwise ignore him.
If he talks to you, you can engage in conversation or not. I'd say treat him as you would any other acquaintance you aren't really interested in spending time with. So no need for long conversa... (read in full...)
He duped me! How do I learn the red flags and move on?
Q. I had seen this guy in a walking group over the past 5 months. We were friends a few years ago but lost touch. Over the months he has dropped hints that he likes me, has cuddled and held me for long periods of time and kissed my cheek in a loving ...
A. 1 November 2017: I remember you, OP and this guy...
Look OP, you took a chance and you got shot down. It didn't work out the way you had hoped. It happens. You read something into his actions because he WANTED you to think there was a possibility of "somethin... (read in full...)
| *oneypie's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oneypie has
added them and they have added *oneypie!
|
