How to deal with the pain of family estrangement?
Q. I was estranged from my abusive BPD mother for eighteen years, because I could no longer take her abuse. My brother, who likely also suffered from BPD, saw this as a personal rejection and wanted nothing else to do with me. He threatened me with ...
A. 2 June 2018: Don't give her money/cash. If her kids go hungry and you money to spare FOOD/Groceries should be PLENTY. That was SELFISH of her to want cash. Either it was because she LIED about not having food for the kids... or she wanted cash so she can spend ... (read in full...)
I want a sexual relationship with my professor. Should I pursue it?
Q. I am in love with my professor and want to take thing to a sexual relationship. I need advise on how to keep it a secret. We flirt all the time we even exchanged pictures. Should I pursue this at all? ...
A. 27 April 2018: Good for you!
What a sleazy creep!
Glad you dodged a bullet.... (read in full...)
I want a sexual relationship with my professor. Should I pursue it?
Q. I am in love with my professor and want to take thing to a sexual relationship. I need advise on how to keep it a secret. We flirt all the time we even exchanged pictures. Should I pursue this at all? ...
A. 10 April 2018: I want to play "pin the tail on the 18 wheeler on the freeway" should I pursue that?
Use some common sense, OP
I ABSOLUTELY AGREE with the fact that you have to hide it. You have to keep it a secret, should tell you it's not a smart thing to d... (read in full...)
Is it a good sign if a one night stand contacts you afterwards?
Q. I met this guy out recently and we just clicked. I went home with him, we were dancing for quite some time and I met his room mate. Soon things got heated, had a great time together. He was exceedingly affection, but in intimate ways, kissing my ...
A. 10 April 2018: Not all one-night-stands end up being a one-night-stand, some develop into more, while the majority doesn't.
So who knows where this will go?
Nothing really in your story "says" that he wants more. All it tells me is that he enjoyed your com... (read in full...)
My cousin talked me into having sex with her when we were just 12 and 13 and now I feel uncomfortable having her stay over at my place
Q. When I was 12 years old male, my 13 years old female cousin talked me into having sex with her. Over the next two years, we had sex on several occasions (maybe once every 3 months). We stopped having sex when she was about 15 years old and when I ...
A. 10 April 2018: You don't HAVE to let her stay at your house. Nothing wrong with saying no to her on that account.
Why would your parent be ANGRY at you for not wanting her to stay at your house? It's YOUR house! You have every right to not only feel SAFE in ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but my best guy friend has a huge crush on me and it's making me uncomfortable
Q. Hello there! I've been in a relationship with my bf for a while now, and I'm perfectly happy with him. He's not really the problem, I have - the problem is with one of my best friends. He's a year older than me and recently admitted to having a huge ...
A. 9 April 2018: I fully agree with FA's advice.
It's logical and sensible.
You can't "pretend" that this friend is "just" a friend to you. He wants more. You don't.
Your friend wants you to keep secrets. Secrets can make things difficult for you in you... (read in full...)
Should I tell her the truth about my bisexuality or let this remain as a fantasy as I have done for a long time?
Q. I am currently in a relationship with my long-term girlfriend of 2.5 years. We have a great relationship and our sex life is great, I care about her and whenever we are together we enjoy each others company; we even are planning a future together. ...
A. 9 April 2018: So because you are bi-sexual it's OK for you to cheat? Is that what you are asking?
Chatting anonymously with other men and web-camming in a sexual manner is cheating in my book. ANYTHING that you do not SHARE with your partner (like that) is... (read in full...)
My boyfriend asked me to move on but then why is he messaging me again?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for about four months now. Things were starting to get serious but then we had our first big fight. It was all done over the phone and we argued for about a week, both being too stubborn to meet up. He had the weekend ...
A. 9 April 2018: What do I think you should do?
I think you should take your "bf" advice and move on. Wish him well, end it and BLOCK all contact.
You two are not a good match and abysmally BAD at communicating with each other.
Why would he text and "chat"... (read in full...)
Does this sound hopeless? Should I try talking to my boyfriend's rigid Indian parents and fight for him?
Q. Hello all.. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months. I’ve known him for almost a year and honestly, he is the best boyfriend over ever had. I’m not exaggerating. He treats me with love, respect and kindness. After breaking up with my abusive ...
A. 9 April 2018: Should you try and talk to his parents?
IMHO? No. It is NOT up to you to "change" their way of life, their cultural background and belief so YOU can keep dating their son. Nothing you can say or do will CHANGE their CORE-beliefs. This isn't ab... (read in full...)
My husband has turned into a hateful old man.
Q. My husband of many years has become very verbally and emotionally abusive. He hates everyone including me. He has alienated even our children and no one comes to visit. I have a 50th high school reunion this summer and I intend on going..I am not ...
A. 9 April 2018: Are you really SURE a divorce would be too expensive? who says it's too expensive? Him? Or have you actually done any research?
Obviously your kids are grown and have left so THEY can't be part of the divorce (as in something to fight over). W... (read in full...)
Do you think karma will ever catch up on my husband's ex wife for the way that she's treating her children?
Q. Hello Aunts! I just need a view point here - does karma exist? I am beginning to think it doesn’t. Here is why: My husband, a truly wonderful man and father was with his ex for over a decade. He took her son on as his own and they had 2 more c...
A. 8 April 2018: Don't worry about her - and her "punishment".
BE the mother/step-mother that these kids NEED and that YOU want to be.
Be the mother/step-mother that is a POSITIVE influence on these kids - ALL the kids.
It will give THEM (the kids) strength... (read in full...)
My ex has said he would never marry me, but I want him back!
Q. Does my ex still have feelings for me or not?. I dated him for a year and a half from 2015 until 2017. Then I left him for another man that we both know, who I was in a relationship with for nearly a year ( he broke up with me three months ago). My ...
A. 8 April 2018: Most people know that going back to an ex rarely works out in the long run.
Why? Because the REASON the relationship ended in the first place is usually STILL valid. In your case, you LEFT him for another man. Either you had hoped the "grass w... (read in full...)
I am worried my boyfriend will assume the worst ...
Q. So I had posted about this issue previously, and everything has been fine since. However, I noticed a light pink bruise on my chest (above my breasts not on them) and now my thoughts are racing, I feel sick. The anxiety this brings is overwhelming. ...
A. 7 April 2018: Why do you feel you hAVE to text him and explain away these marks on your body?
Your NEW BF has NO RIGHT (I will repeat) NO RIGHT to hold you responsible for what his ex-GF's did.
YOU are NOT responsible for them cheating on him.
YOU are... (read in full...)
Is online dating worth the effort?
Q. So I have been trying to make sense of this... does online dating is worth the effort? I ask this because I put up my profile on 2 sites (one famous paid site and one famous free site) and I'm very disappointed with the results. I have a decent p...
A. 7 April 2018: Have you tried the "group" activities that some dating sites provide? Or doing some meetup things?
You might be better off MEETING people in person than trying to "sell" yourself on a profile.
It really comes down to your personality and ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with a local female celebrity and I'm so embarassed at myself!
Q. I’m obsessed with a local celebrity (not hugely known, only kind of in the theater world), and Ibwant to be her friend,friend only as im female, and she’s marrie. how can I get over this? It’s so stupid!? I’m so embarassed. I’m a grown...
A. 7 April 2018: You say you are embarrassed of this obsession, YET you cling to it like it's a piece of flotsom on a stormy sea.
You say :" I’m not unfollowing her on social media, that’s too much."
So you want to KEEP indulging your own obsession. You w... (read in full...)
I need advice, I believe my family are scheming against me.
Q. A great site....lots of commonsense advice. I am having a tough time with my siblings and not the first time. About three years back I posted that they were forcing me to pay bank my 9k inheritance from my moms estate. As executor and power of attor...
A. 7 April 2018: Set up your will NOW. If you haven't already. And if they seem to think they can have any fingers in YOUR pie, maybe EXCLUDING them from the will is the way to go. Leaving everything to a charity.
Proving that you are not of sound mind is difficul... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 7 April 2018: Could it be a STD?
Yep. But remember Neither us here on DC or WebMD can really diagnose you. SO....
Go see your doctor and get a full STD panel done.
... (read in full...)
I have to work nonstop to pay off my debts and I feel very restless and hopeless sometimes. How do I keep this up for another 8 months?
Q. How do I sta sane in this financial situation.? I am living in New York City I have a roommate and I am in debt - school - medical procedure and bills all amount to 3300 a month to stay afloat - I spoke to a financial advisor and the minimum ...
A. 6 April 2018: I think you are doing great! While I can understand it feels too much at times you DO have a "end" point of being DONE with this. By December of this year YOU have finished paying all this off and can then drop the second job and reconsider where ... (read in full...)
What is his deal? Can someone decipher his behavior?
Q. I started a new job recently, and on my second day there I crossed paths with a guy who works in the same building; I had seen him wandering around earlier that day, but later on we were walking in opposite directions down a hallway so I attempted ...
A. 6 April 2018: I don't think you need to change YOUR behavior to "adapt" to him.
TREAT him like you would ANY OTHER coworker you don't have or have to interact with. With professionalism and courtesy. If he chooses to be weird around you, THAT is on him. You... (read in full...)
How to deal with the pain of family estrangement?
Q. I was estranged from my abusive BPD mother for eighteen years, because I could no longer take her abuse. My brother, who likely also suffered from BPD, saw this as a personal rejection and wanted nothing else to do with me. He threatened me with ...
A. 6 April 2018: You did nothing wrong in wanting to spoil them and show them love. Don't feel bad for that. You reached out and open your heart to them, don't feel bad for that either.
Let THEM do the work if they want to continue getting reacquainted again. I... (read in full...)
I've found the love of my life in a chatroom in Poland and I'm planning to move there to be with her
Q. Last time I post on here, I had visited an escort. I had visit an escort only once and never again. I decided to get back into dating, but I had no success. One day I joined a chatroom and I happen to meet a Polish woman who lives in Poland over a ...
A. 6 April 2018: I would start by having that visit. Don't STAY at her place when you visit but DO spend as much time IN person together (and I'm not talking SEX here, it can be seeing the sights, having coffee and a chat, shopping, museums etc.)
So when you book... (read in full...)
How to deal with the pain of family estrangement?
Q. I was estranged from my abusive BPD mother for eighteen years, because I could no longer take her abuse. My brother, who likely also suffered from BPD, saw this as a personal rejection and wanted nothing else to do with me. He threatened me with ...
A. 6 April 2018: I'm sorry, this has got to be very hard on you and I will try to be as gentle as possible here.
You are a stranger to them, regardless of a lovely Christmas. They grew up not knowing you, maybe with some curiosity and maybe with some negative... (read in full...)
Was my husband lying about not loving the other woman?
Q. is my husband lying to me when he says he never loved the other woman? I found messages and video with him telling her he loves her...
A. 4 April 2018: Obviously, your husband will say whatever he thinks EITHER of you want to hear.
He told her he loved her (maybe he did in that moment or he felt it was the "right" thing to say at that moment).
He told YOU that he never loved her, because THA... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my live-in girlfriend?
Q. I am in a long term relationship and my gf isnt interested in sex. I've always had a higher sex drive than her but she only wants sex when it is her cycle for a kid. I want a kid but college is starting to get stressful and I dont think I want to ...
A. 4 April 2018: Why are you trying to knock her up if things aren't working?
A baby will NOT fix your relationship!
If talking about not getting your needs met and perhaps discussing her needs too doesn't result in you two making it work, then YES, end it.
... (read in full...)
What is his deal? Can someone decipher his behavior?
Q. I started a new job recently, and on my second day there I crossed paths with a guy who works in the same building; I had seen him wandering around earlier that day, but later on we were walking in opposite directions down a hallway so I attempted ...
A. 4 April 2018: I agree with Anonymous 123,
Sorry, Gretchen you can't make "fetch" happen.
You want this guy to be super into you and thus his behavior is off the charts.
I think he is a VERY awkward and weird dude who doesn't know how to be in social and ... (read in full...)
What kind of girl does a guy consider special and different?
Q. What kind of girl does a guy consider special and different What about her physically mentally spiritually and emotionally will make her stand out from the rest? I hear a lot of women say things like “If a guy loses me, he’ll never find any...
A. 4 April 2018: I think it depends on the woman AND the man.
You can THINK you are special, unique, one-of-a-kind but that doesn't mean the guy in front of you want THAT kind of woman. Maybe he likes a "beige basic one".
Some prefer the quiet girls, some the ... (read in full...)
He lied about an ex. Should I end things?
Q. Last night I caught my bf of only 3 weeks in a lie. We started dating in January but only became an official couple in March. When I first started dating him, I asked him when did his last relationship end. He told me he had a gf in the summer of ...
A. 4 April 2018: I think you need to stop blaming "new" guys you are getting to know and potentially wanting to date, for things EXES did to you. He isn't responsible for what your exes did.
However, LYING? No a good thing. LYING over something that really i... (read in full...)
My husband is disappointed because I didn't tell him about a job interview
Q. Hi guys I feel really terrible about lying to my husband about a recent job interview I had. Two weeks ago I applied for a job (he knew I had been looking) and got called for the interview and thankfully got it. However I didn't tell my husband ...
A. 4 April 2018: You can't "take" away his disappointment.
You didn't "hide" it out of malicious intent, you did it because you didn't want to disappoint HIM. However, IF you got the job why didn't you share that RIGHT away?
As for him losing trust in you ove... (read in full...)
Is he telling the truth about the state of his marriage?
Q. I’m seeing a married man for a number of years. I am in no rush to spending my whole life with but I do love him, he says he is in a sexless marriage, that his wife has no sex drive yet iv seen photos of them with her arm around him yet he doesn’t ...
A. 3 April 2018: Some people can have a sexless marriage and be comfortable with each other and still love each other and what they have build together.
Can be they don't have sex or that it's not as frequent as he would want it.
The thing is, YOU can't be sur... (read in full...)
Is the size of the take out he brought home a sign he is becoming cheap?
Q. After dating selfish cheap guys, I'm pretty gun shy. My bf has always been generous w/me and we do pay for each other pretty often. Today he went out to eat and I couldn't make it, so I asked him to bring me some soup. I'm not one to eat a lot, but ...
A. 3 April 2018: I don't think it speaks to him being cheap, but to him NOT really knowing you that well.
You ASKED for soup, he got you soup.
He might think you are dainty eater and didn't bring you a bigger portion for that sake.
Now if you had told h... (read in full...)
His neediness bothers me. Should I feel guilty for blocking him?
Q. Okay so I've only known this guy for 2 months only, he is at my university. He seemed nice at first and we hang out together, but then he started to creep me out with his neediness and him being too clingy. I was nice with him and i gave him hints ...
A. 2 April 2018: I think you HAVE to tell him that you find his behavior disturbing and borderline stalker'ish. I think you NEED to tell him you don't see the two of you being friend or anything else and that you would appreciate if he will leave you alone. I think ... (read in full...)
Why is my coworker blanking me and what should I do about it?
Q. I’ve beem in my job 21 months. Like it. 90% colleagues younger. I’m a worker, not a boss or manager. I’m fine with this. Not all of us are meant to be bosses.. 90% managers and my boss are younger. 2 are older, one my age. I have no...
A. 1 April 2018:
Some people never mentally leave high school.
Would I still say hi to her? If the situation calls for it. There is no need to be as rude as her.
Not everyone is going to like you and you aren't going to like every you meet. But since you ... (read in full...)
Why can't he just give me his undivided attention for a few minutes?
Q. Recently, starting about 6 months ago, my relationship with my boyfriend has become fairly rocky. We've been together for almost 5 years now. I've started to notice his lack of ambition in many life and day to day events in general. He has missed a ...
A. 1 April 2018: Honestly? I would not be very excited to Facetime while my partner was having a fun ride in Disneyland either. BUT I'm not really a roller-coaster fan as it is. I would rather have Facetime when NEITHER of us are busy so we can have an ACTUAL ... (read in full...)
I started an affair as a FWB but we are so well matched!
Q. I have been with my fiancé for 6 years now he is much older than me and I have just recently caught the eye of a wonderful man that is my age that has a good head on his shoulders and is very charming and respectful the only bad part is we are ...
A. 1 April 2018: Is this... where you go APRIL FOOL'S DAY? Because this post is so devoid of common sense and reality.
But in case this is a "real" post...
First of all WHY be engaged when you can't even be faithful?
Your fiance's age and that of your "lo... (read in full...)
What do you do when a relationship has become boring?
Q. Hi what do you do when a relationship has become boring I’ve been with my fiancé for 4 years we never do anything together in that time we’ve been out for 6 meals and that’s it he never wants to do anything he gets stoned every day all day he was a ...
A. 1 April 2018: So why are you engaged to this man?
You DO understand that a wedding will not change who he is, right?
He will keep smoking dope and not wanting to do anything. Shoot it sounds like that of a couple of 90 year old, not people in their 30's!
... (read in full...)
How do I get through this breakup?
Q. My ex and I have a long history. We were friends for many years and then about two and a half years ago, started a sexual relationship. We did everything together, and eventually decided to make it an official relationship about 8 months ago. Out ...
A. 1 April 2018: I don't think either of you can make this a "healthy" friendship at this point.
She can't EVEN tell you why she ended it. And even though I GET that you want closure, she doesn't OWE you an explanation. (it would be nice, I get that but.. not owed... (read in full...)
It feels like shes using me. Is she?
Q. We're dating for a few months, I'm 31 she's 22 last night she asked me to pick her up at her house and I didn't want to because I just don't want to get out of my house and as she lives far away I'm not into it driving right now, just a lazy day, ...
A. 31 March 2018: Seems like NEITHER of you wants to put in the effort to see the other. While she doesn't have the MEANS to get to you (no car at the moment and no money) you couldn't be bothered to go see her or help pay the Uber.
So really, I don't see how SHE ... (read in full...)
How do I react. He ignored me but is now dating my best friend
Q. If I met a guy in a club, asked him out, he gave me his number, I texted twice, he never responded. Months later I discover he is now having sex with my best friend. How should I react?...
A. 31 March 2018: Chalk it up to a no-go.
He wasn't interested in you. It happens. Not all guys you meet will fancy you and YOU will not fancy every guy YOU meet.
He probably gave you his number because he was being too polite to just come out and tell you he ... (read in full...)
How do I handle dates where I don't want more?
Q. Often when I go on dates with guys, it becomes apparent to me quite quickly if I'm interested or not. I'm always respectful and kind on dates. But I have a very flirtatious smile, so often if I smile too much, I notice guys are responsive and want ...
A. 31 March 2018: Honestly?
Cut the date short. If He isn't interested or YOU aren't interested. Why WASTE more time on a date that isn't enjoyable for either of you and hold no "real" purpose?
Smiling is fine, I wouldn't worry about that. You smiling CERTAINL... (read in full...)
Have I hit my dirty 30's?
Q. I have recently turned 35, and am wondering, if I have hit my dirty 30s late? I've been horny everyday since I turned 35. ...
A. 31 March 2018: Probably. There is something to be said for the "dirty 30's"....
Enjoy it. I'm sure your partner will too.... (read in full...)
Why won’t he respond to me and give me back my things?
Q. I have been involved with a guy from work for over a year now he was originally an affair from which I left a violent relationship. Things were going well although there has been a lot if issues a long the way financial and emotiobal more m...
A. 31 March 2018: EDIT:
If I were this guy I would want to touch you with a 50 foot pole, let alone talk to you ever again.
Should have been:
If I were this guy I wouldn't want to touch you with a 50 foot pole, let alone talk to you ever again.... (read in full...)
Why won’t he respond to me and give me back my things?
Q. I have been involved with a guy from work for over a year now he was originally an affair from which I left a violent relationship. Things were going well although there has been a lot if issues a long the way financial and emotiobal more m...
A. 31 March 2018: You need to leave him be and focus on yourself.
Sleeping with an ex (a violent one to boot) is not JUST a mistake, it's destructive to a relationship and self-destructive too. It's HOW you sabotage a relationship.
If I were this guy I would... (read in full...)
I'm not feeling the love
Q. My boyfriend says that he loves me but I don't feel the love. I work and go to school and he has a full time job. I make time for him. I have a longer day than him where I get home around 12am to only get up at 6am. He still wants me to plan out ...
A. 31 March 2018: You might have to spell it out for him WHAT you expect of him and how you view HIS expectations. Maybe you are both "off" in what you expect of the other?
However, if you are left feeling that YOU do all the work, giving up ALL your free time for... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 27 March 2018: "why so heartless?"
Because he GOT what he wanted from you. And because he didn't REALLY care on the same level as you did. He KNEW which words to USE on you to get you to agree.
Now that you are "making demands" and trying to take some contro... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 27 March 2018: You are YOUNG, OP
And BOUND to make mistakes - this will not be the only mistake you make in life. The think about mistakes? If you LEARN from then and do no repeat them, the mistakes are a lesson in life, not something to regret and beat yourself... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me
Q. Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...
A. 25 March 2018: Oh, he got you hoodwinked so good!
The guy is a selfish creep. He has talked his way into your panties and now behaves like he OWNS you.
Honey, if this guy TRULY felt deeply for you, if he believed all the BS he has been spoon-feeding yo... (read in full...)
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