Follow up to an earlier question about some decisions I have to make
Q. This is technically a build on my initial concerns that I raised a question about in January. I am fortunate and pleased to say that an excellent career opportunity presented itself, moving back in to my desired career field and I have regained a ...
A. 21 September 2018: Nothing to be embarrassed about. You see problems and you want to fix them but you hold off because you don't want to hurt your partner. I get it.
But it also equate to you shooting yourself in the foot to try and not hurt her. And you DO hurt her... (read in full...)
She owes me money but is adamant she transferred the money!
Q. Hello This is not so much a dating question or anything, but I have used this website before for advice and found it helpful. A girl I have been on and off chatting to asked me if she could borrow £1000 to repair her damaged car. I agreed...
A. 20 September 2018: I'm not a lawyer/barrister and not familiar with English laws so I can't say.
Which is why I suggest you contact Citizen's Advice.
My guess is you also have a "paper-trail" of her ASKING to borrow the 1,000? Or was that over the phone?
... (read in full...)
I am panicked about delivering the eulogy at my dad's funeral service.
Q. I am giving a eulogy for my dad who passed away on Sept. 11. I am his first born and it is family tradition that the first born delivers the eulogy. I am panicked and afraid I will break down. So many people are relying on me. So, I also feel ...
A. 20 September 2018: How did it go OP?
*hugs*... (read in full...)
Do I just forget about it since my partner hasn’t technically said anything wrong to her?
Q. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not (as I do tend to) but my partner has a work and personal phone. The other month I had to use his work phone to get a contact and I came across messages over a few days to his female colleague. It was general ...
A. 18 September 2018: I can't believe that YOU contacted her to tell her off for her behavior... Are you serious?
That is so not appropriate either!
It's not your job to police how people talk to your BF. He isn't 4 years old! He is (I hope) a GROWN man who OUGHT to... (read in full...)
Move on or try to resolve between us?
Q. Hey everyone, I've posted a while back about how to move on from my ex etc but wanting a bit advice on an update really. Long story short, me and my partner split up about 4/5 months ago now. We lived together for the majority of our relationship...
A. 18 September 2018: I think you REALLY need to leave him to move on so you can move on too.
There is no going back. It's just not going to happen.
Just because he replied in a nice manner doesn't mean me wants you back, it means he read your message, underst... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid about my girlfriend’s interactions at work with this guy?
Q. I work at a restaurant with my girlfriend. We just got into a big fight which was my fault. So we’ve barley spoken for a few days. I come into work and i notice my gf getting her shirt sleeves rolled up by a guy coworker. Then i see she’s ...
A. 18 September 2018: You need to stop nitpicking everything you see. If it's to make yourself look or feel better over that big fight (which you said was your fault)... then you really need to stop. This whole I did something stupid so now I'm looking for faults in HER ... (read in full...)
Do you think she doesn’t want to see me?
Q. do you think she doesnt wanna see me? so this all happend last year when i was at work and i went out to the lobby and i saw the girl i used to liked back in high school sitting at the table with her boyfriend i guess she was waiting for her food...
A. 17 September 2018: She might worry that you are STALKING her, OP
She has a BF so she SHOULD be off limits. just because you "used" to like her in HS doesn't mean she owes you anything, no contact or chats.
Just leave the girl alone? I think you are creeping her... (read in full...)
She owes me money but is adamant she transferred the money!
Q. Hello This is not so much a dating question or anything, but I have used this website before for advice and found it helpful. A girl I have been on and off chatting to asked me if she could borrow £1000 to repair her damaged car. I agreed...
A. 17 September 2018: Contact Citizen's advice. You might even be able to find a lawyer who can help you sort this out.
She is obviously lying.... (read in full...)
Is he fully really over me when it’s only been a month?
Q. Me and my ex were together for 1 year and a bit. It was good for the majority of the time but recently he started acting up. About a few months ago he wasn’t giving me the effort I deserved and only recently he broke it off with me about a month ...
A. 17 September 2018: People move on in different speeds, OP.
What does it mean that he is taking her on dates where he took you?
That he KNOWS it worked with you, so maybe it will with her too.
Him saying he would focus on himself and not another relationship... (read in full...)
Why is he acting this way about my airplane ticket?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. A couple of months ago he asked me to attend his mother's birthday dinner (big family gathering at a restaurant) this upcoming weekend. I declined because I couldn't take time off from work. ...
A. 17 September 2018: Because he doesn't have the money... or he doesn't want to SPEND the money on you.
He isn't listening to what y u are saying. You TOLD him that you could pay for half ONCE you got your final paycheck, yet he is asking you to buy it and he reimburs... (read in full...)
I’m pregnant by a boyfriend using me for a green card! Advice needed!
Q. Hi there I am pregnant 9 weeks I’ve been dating this honderan man for almost two years. My boyfriend has been distant because he wants to get married but it’s to get his green card. He loves me but i am catholic and I want a church ceremony I’m not ...
A. 17 September 2018: So he has had 2 years to get confirmed in, so that you two can marry and he has chosen NOT to. because what YOU want is not important to him.
WHAT is important to him is getting his green card.
Why on Earth would you bring a baby into this m... (read in full...)
Follow up to an earlier question about some decisions I have to make
Q. This is technically a build on my initial concerns that I raised a question about in January. I am fortunate and pleased to say that an excellent career opportunity presented itself, moving back in to my desired career field and I have regained a ...
A. 17 September 2018: But if you do nothing... nothing will change.
So, maybe look into what option for mediation/counseling there are available (so you have a solution before having the talk).
Admitting to her that things aren't working for you and that you need he... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner about this encounter I had?
Q. Hi I’m not proud of what I’m about to write I feel very ashamed I’ve been with my partner for 5 years I went out had a lot to drink and ended up going back to a mans place we had oral but not penetrative sex i think I done it as I’ve been unhappy in ...
A. 17 September 2018: Why are you with a man who is wholly uninterested in you physically?
He treats you like a room mate, not a partner in life.
HOWEVER, that doesn't excuse what you did. The whole, well I don't get "it" at home so I cheated with a stranger, it's a... (read in full...)
I am panicked about delivering the eulogy at my dad's funeral service.
Q. I am giving a eulogy for my dad who passed away on Sept. 11. I am his first born and it is family tradition that the first born delivers the eulogy. I am panicked and afraid I will break down. So many people are relying on me. So, I also feel ...
A. 17 September 2018: I'm so sorry for your loss, OP
My advice? Make it short and sweet. If you cry that is OK! if you feel like you are going to choke up, that is OK too! No one is going to critique you, OK?
I think WiseOwlE's advice about say what you would want y... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid about my girlfriend’s interactions at work with this guy?
Q. I work at a restaurant with my girlfriend. We just got into a big fight which was my fault. So we’ve barley spoken for a few days. I come into work and i notice my gf getting her shirt sleeves rolled up by a guy coworker. Then i see she’s ...
A. 17 September 2018: Oh, she is playing YOU.
She is showing you in the must "innocuous" way how easily she can replace you.
Keep your relationship drama out of the work place.
If YOU fucked up and cause a fight/argument - the be the bigger person and apolog... (read in full...)
I feel my mother-in-law is inserting herself into my marriage!
Q. I love my husband very much, and I love my mom in law too, she's always there for us when we need her but she's also starting to annoy me. She doesn't seem to have boundaries. Btw, she is single. When she first started making me uncomfortable wa...
A. 17 September 2018: I think you and your MIL are both trying to piss on your "shared territory" (aka your husband).
She doesn't like the fact that he is starting a "new" family with you and that she isn't his main priority any more. She isn't ready to let go. And ... (read in full...)
I want a second child and my husband does not! It’s really becoming a problem for me! Advice?
Q. My husband and I are at a complete impasse. We have a 3yr old son who is amazing and I feel truly blessed to be his mommy, but I yearn for a 2nd baby! I have felt this way for over a year. And anytime I speak to my husband about it he is very ce...
A. 17 September 2018: I think you two should have a conversation (and please hold back the tears, those won't help you).
Explain WHY you would like a second child and ASK him to explain why he doesn't.
If you two can not find a middle ground, then you really only ... (read in full...)
How do I get over this anger toward my ex?
Q. It's been over 3 months since me and my ex broke up. Tonight a mutual friend said he has been really low for a few weeks and that could I talk to him. I had blocked him on everything and although I felt okay, I wasn't sure it was a good idea.......
A. 16 September 2018: I would simply stop talking to him. Block, delete, remove.
I think the longer you stay in contact with him, the longer it will take for you to move forward.
If this mutual friend tells you again that HE feels bad, tell her .." Too bad, he isn'... (read in full...)
Would it be ok to ask my mum to buy me a vibrator?
Q. I'm 17 and have the money to buy a vibrator, but I have no way of actually getting one by myself. I don't have any friends old enough to take me some where that will sell them to people under 18, and I don't have a credit/debit card so I can't buy ...
A. 15 September 2018: EDIT
I meant to type:
No, you shouldn't have your mom buy you a vibrator.
Darn new phone........ (read in full...)
Is this older woman manipulating me?
Q. So basically I need advice about my relationship. Let me give everyone some background info. I started working at my dad's store a few years ago. There has always been this things going on around there that I'm the young kid and learning.. Which is...
A. 15 September 2018: Have a chat with her about this (at home).
Set some boundaries.
Now can it be that she feels a little insecure because YOU are younger than her? Sure. It might explain why she is doing this. To make you seem (almost) unattractive to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother hates me and my boyfriend takes her side
Q. Recently I've been feeling distant from my boyfriend, he s not the person I fell.in love with. He critisces everything I do and makes me feel worthless, I've tried talking to him about how He s making me feel but he says he doesn't put me down that ...
A. 15 September 2018: Dude, DROP this guy already.
She is never going to like you and he is NEVER going to be taking your side. (not that there SHOULD be any sides to take but regardless). the whole "I want to marry you" is BULLSHIT because he knows his mom will NOT... (read in full...)
Would it be ok to ask my mum to buy me a vibrator?
Q. I'm 17 and have the money to buy a vibrator, but I have no way of actually getting one by myself. I don't have any friends old enough to take me some where that will sell them to people under 18, and I don't have a credit/debit card so I can't buy ...
A. 15 September 2018: No, you should have your mom buy you a vibrator. I have 3 daughters and while I'm NOT a prude... I'd be mortified.
BUY an AMAZON gift-card and get one online.
IF you think you really NEED one. To be very honest.. you don't. You have two hand an... (read in full...)
My progressive hair loss is making me insecure about dating
Q. Hi all, I'm having a real tough time with my confidence on dates. This has been due to my now significant hair loss. I'm in my late 20's and recently went out with a girl who i'd not seen for almost a year (i'd had to move away for work, but we kept ...
A. 14 September 2018: I absolutely agree with Cindy.
While many younger people ARE more superficial when it comes to their own and potential partner's looks, I think for most women that I know... hair or lack thereof has never been a major deal.
You CAN consi... (read in full...)
We had sex and now I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks. Did he like me?
Q. Did he liked me? We met off Tinder? I met a guy off tinder a month half go. I am 28, he is 30. He messaged me first and I suggested meeting right away. He said okay and we met and it weird first a little because I was attracted to him and felt shy...
A. 14 September 2018: My guess is he WAS just looking for sex. And he presumed you were too. Your action kind of seemed like you were just looking to get laid.
Tindr is a hook up app, not REALLY a dating app. So you are BOUND to meet more people just looking for ... (read in full...)
Our tastes in porn seem to clash
Q. Hello. Thank to you for reading my post. When me and my boyfriend got together he mentioned porn use a few times casually. And from time to time he's admitted to using it for masturbating during our brief periods away from each other. I thou...
A. 14 September 2018: If he picked gay porn (with two men) would YOU be exited? aroused? I doubt it.
If he picked MEN pissing, would that turn you on? Well, maybe since you seem to like women pissing... however, I think WiseOwlE nailed it right on the head, YOU are ... (read in full...)
Why block someone and not delete them?
Q. My ex and i split up 8 months ago i never thought id see or speak to him again. A couple of month back we slept together ( both wanted it ) but before we did we were talking about how we could try again. We started to talk a little more over the...
A. 13 September 2018: Blocking is really sufficient.
Deleting is more a safeguard to NOT get tempted to contact them again, my guess is he is done and thus blocked you. So... block and delete HIM and move on. Going back to an ex for sex and comfort is what holds yo... (read in full...)
My mother in law brings strange men into our home
Q. Hi guys, I've been having a bit of a problem at home. Basically my husband's father has recently died and that left his mother on her own. Because of this we agreed to move her into the spare room at our house - but it's a nightmare. She's 60 ...
A. 13 September 2018: Your husband needs to man up.
She needs to b e told this is NOT OK. That you already have a lot on your plate with the twins and don't want strange men in your house overnight.
While she is part of your household she really should know bett... (read in full...)
My brother finally introduced us to his fiance - she's my ex!
Q. My brother has recently introduced the family to his new fiancée - but there's a massive issue. Basically he lives away and none of us have met her before - we only knew her name. We were all excited to meet her - but when he introduced her to ...
A. 12 September 2018: Ahhh EDIT:
Does it seem odd that out ALL the men she could be dating... she is dating and now engaged to your ex that your family knows nothing about? Yes. Very.
should have been...
Does it seem odd that out ALL the men she could be dating.... (read in full...)
My brother finally introduced us to his fiance - she's my ex!
Q. My brother has recently introduced the family to his new fiancée - but there's a massive issue. Basically he lives away and none of us have met her before - we only knew her name. We were all excited to meet her - but when he introduced her to ...
A. 12 September 2018: Take your brother aside and tell him, SHOW him proof. (which shouldn't be hard if you are paying child support to her and the child).
Does it seem odd that out ALL the men she could be dating... she is dating and now engaged to your ex that you... (read in full...)
How could he move on so quickly?
Q. I ended my relationship with my ex back in February not because we no longer loved each other but because we both had different out looks on life. Realistically it wasn't going to work. I left our house and moved back home. My ex was distraught and ...
A. 11 September 2018: Being bitter will get you no where, OP
Life is too short for that. And being bitter and upset will not make HIM feel worse. Or you better.
So look for those silver linings - set up some goal and GO for them.
LIVE life and let him liv... (read in full...)
I dumped my boyfriend for sponging off of me but now I feel guilty
Q. I’ve been dating this guy for 9 months now. Things started off great and though we have had a few issues I feel like they can be worked through. The latest issue though is surrounding money. He lost his job a few months ago and has been having a...
A. 11 September 2018: I agree, you DID the right thing.
This guy is TAKING food and money from YOUR child. An ADULT. YOUR first and biggest priority should be making sure your kid's needs are taken care off. NOT taking care of a BF. And also not a BF you have only dat... (read in full...)
I want my mother to move in with us so I can take care of her
Q. Hi everyone. My fiance and I are in the process of moving back to my home state and purchasing a house there. It is a relatively large house and we have more than enough space to start a family. My mom is not in the best of health. She recen...
A. 11 September 2018: Maybe instead of moving her IN with you and your husband you can find a place close to your house so you can spend more time with her?
I get that your husband doesn't want her living with you. After all you are both grown and have moved OUT of y... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 11 September 2018: You know what?
My dad cheated on my mom. Several times.
That doesn't mean I can't trust my husband, it doesn't give me the "right" to join dating apps or whatnot in hopes of either catching him or flirting with other people.
That his father... (read in full...)
Is this long distance relationship worth pursuing or should I just move on?
Q. Hello everyone. So I have reached a point in my life when if someone were to ask my relationship status, I would say, "It's complicated". Basically, exactly one year ago I was on a pretty long layover, I downloaded a hookup app and star...
A. 11 September 2018: I think the "fun" of the back and forth is over for him. My guess is that besides his new job, he has meet someone else (in person). And he just haven't had the courage to tell you. Which is why he isn't using cute nicknames, doesn't want pictures ... (read in full...)
What is the next move for me?
Q. I don't really know how to read this situation or move forward with it.. I went on a couple of dates last December with a girl i met online. They went really well, however I had to move away early in the new year for work. We loosely kept in touch...
A. 11 September 2018: Did you sort of expect her to sit ion the shelf while you were away in NY?
Because that isn't realistic.
She was hurt the LAST time you left, and she is being guarded now because she is unsure if you are off to some place else. She isn't sure i... (read in full...)
Girlfriend mother died of cancer, and ended our relationship!
Q. My girlfriend and I had been together for a year. A few months ago, her mother passed away from cancer (her dad died when she was young too). I stayed by her and supported her during that time. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy ride. Since ...
A. 11 September 2018: If you feel suicidal, you should try and call a hotline and talk to someone. It's anonymous.
I know it doesn't feel well to have worked hard to support her in her grief to only have her end it. I know when my mother died I wasn't worth a pot to p... (read in full...)
I kissed my ex when on a break from my boyfriend!
Q. I need help, me and my boyfriend always break up and this time I thought we broke up for good, but no. He came back like always. But while we broke up I kissed my ex. And I feel so bad about it but I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend told me he ...
A. 11 September 2018: Why do you keep getting back with this Bf of yours?
If you two constantly break up, it's NOT a good or healthy relationship. It's NOT working!
The fact that you kissed someone else SO easily might also be an indication that you know the on/off ... (read in full...)
I want child number 5 but hubby says he is done!
Q. I have 4 children with my husband, 2 have not been planned and 2 have. He’s been indicating ‘no more’ since our second. Our third child we were using condoms and he didn’t use a condom one time which resulted in the third child. Being the complete ...
A. 11 September 2018: I think you two should use birth-control until you are FULLY agreed on the number of kids.
One thing is to SAY I'm OK with 5-6 kids.. another is to have kids and not wanting any more.
Don't you think 4 is plenty? I have 3 kids and there were D... (read in full...)
How could he move on so quickly?
Q. I ended my relationship with my ex back in February not because we no longer loved each other but because we both had different out looks on life. Realistically it wasn't going to work. I left our house and moved back home. My ex was distraught and ...
A. 11 September 2018: Different folks, different stokes.
Some move on faster, some slow. Maybe He had HER as his back up the whole time he was dating you and then after the break up too. Who knows?
She might also be his rebound. He might think if he tries hard enoug... (read in full...)
I'm feeling cringy and insecure about texts I sent
Q. I am cringing because i sent a 'I missed you text as well as a follow up text saying that he doesnt have to say it back to me if he doesnt feel like it.' I started saying I miss you last week, so it's something new in our relationship. It's be...
A. 10 September 2018: It's OK to say I miss you, but TRY not to do follow up texts (even if he doesn't text back or tell you I miss you too).
Just relax.
Or you will come off as desperate more than insecure.
If you are having a "let's take it one day at a tim... (read in full...)
Do I leave a new job after only 5 months? It seems to be a bad fit
Q. I feel conflicted as I just took a new job in April and after only 5 months it seems to be a bad fit. The department is very cliquey and back-stabbish, I feel like I don't fit in, one of the people has been very rude to my face and plays it off as ...
A. 10 September 2018: Look for another job. Work places with this kind of drama doesn't change.
And don't leave this job until you have one equally food or better.
The person who is being rude to your face and then calling it "just kidding" - I'd just tell her ne... (read in full...)
DId I ruin a good thing by commenting on his social media and being petty?
Q. Hey guys, I'm in a dilemma with a guy. So the beginning of August, I start talking to this college athlete that goes to the neighboring school. Everything is great, affection, attention, dates, sex and spending time. Until about a week ago, he pos...
A. 10 September 2018: Being petty is never "pretty" or "classy".
While you are being pretty vague about what those girls said (that you "liked") - obviously he took it as you being into drama. Now if the comments of these girls weren't mean or hurtful to him... a... (read in full...)
I am paying my girlfriend's rent but we are not on good terms. What should I do?
Q. Found girlfriends journal. Made the mistake of reading some of it. She has been in contact with her ex in prison. Sentenced 25 to life. Wants to visit him as soon as she can. Hasn't seen him in like 2 yrs. I have been supporting her almost 100% for ...
A. 9 September 2018: So her ex who is in prison is a sexual predator with 3! convictions... And she is pursuing something with him.
What does that tell you about HER?
Many people have had shitty upbringings, little education but they don't LIVE of others.
I get... (read in full...)
His family hired lazy useless employees and I need to know how to cope!
Q. My partner and I have always had a wonderful relationship. We've been together a very long time. This year, he and his family opened a business. His parents made the decisions about the staff they're hiring and what they're paying, without ...
A. 9 September 2018: You are welcome OP.
I see Aunty Cindy gave you more extended advice, I'd definitely take a leaf from her "book".
I would add one more advice, Find a job elsewhere... That way you don't have to both DEAL with the drama at work and HEAR about t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 7 September 2018: If he is still looking, why waste your time on him?
He is trying to hide it from you, so you don't know what kind of crap he gets up to behind your back. That is disrespectful and untrustworthy behavior.
I'd ditch the man and look for one of ... (read in full...)
I am paying my girlfriend's rent but we are not on good terms. What should I do?
Q. Found girlfriends journal. Made the mistake of reading some of it. She has been in contact with her ex in prison. Sentenced 25 to life. Wants to visit him as soon as she can. Hasn't seen him in like 2 yrs. I have been supporting her almost 100% for ...
A. 6 September 2018: You inform her that you can no longer support her and then you STOP paying the rent. If the place is in YOUR name, you might need to file an eviction notice. It's not really your problem whether she has a place to live or not.
What future do you r... (read in full...)
His family hired lazy useless employees and I need to know how to cope!
Q. My partner and I have always had a wonderful relationship. We've been together a very long time. This year, he and his family opened a business. His parents made the decisions about the staff they're hiring and what they're paying, without ...
A. 6 September 2018: You can't fix this for him, as much as you want.
You have told him your view on it, now let it go. It is then UP to him and his family to decide what to do. It's not really up to you.
Be the ONE thing in his life that isn't stressful. Right... (read in full...)
Follow up to an earlier question about some decisions I have to make
Q. This is technically a build on my initial concerns that I raised a question about in January. I am fortunate and pleased to say that an excellent career opportunity presented itself, moving back in to my desired career field and I have regained a ...
A. 5 September 2018: I think you have to consider a few things before trying to fix anything.
NOT having kids now... is smart, as things are not REALLY working.
You bend over backward for her, but that also makes you resent her. So, YOU do need to change YOUR own ... (read in full...)
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