Struggling to get over ex and finding it hard to look at dating again!
Q. Hi all, I guess this is a slightly multi-layered problem. Firstly I am single as of close to year ago. I mention this as I feel it potentially explains certain things as of yet mentioned. It was a strange breakup that never really had clos...
A. 16 October 2018: Just keep moving forward, OP.
Don't look back, unless it is to NOT repeat the same mistakes.... (read in full...)
Are my expectations too high for my long distance boyfriend?
Q. Our LDR has been rocky the past few months. He's neglecting abd taking for granted our relationship. Today is my birthday. I spent the entire morning in Urgent Care because I had extremely bad stomach and back pains in the middle of the night, a...
A. 12 October 2018: Well, there you go.
MAYBE it has been rocky lately, not because the novelty has worn off but because he feels YOU are pulling away.
And yes, he DOES sound rather immature, which (my guess) is why he has been fine with an LDR. That way he REAL... (read in full...)
Is he flirting or am I reading too much into his actions?
Q. I recently transferred into a different team at work and started working very closely with the guy who recommended me for the role. I REALLY like him as as a person and we get along great. Sometimes have suspicion that he 'likes' me, but then I t...
A. 12 October 2018: Sorry, OP
I don't wrap up my answers in cotton, I tell it as I see it. Take from it what you will.
I (like WiseOwlE mentions) have also seen SO many questions asking about office romance gone wrong on DC, more time than I can count, so maybe ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend found the engagement ring box and thinks I'm cheating
Q. More than a year ago I bought an expensive emerald engagement ring to give to my live-in girlfriend intending to propose. I never quite found the right time because of some personal problems in her family and then later on we had big fight and I re...
A. 11 October 2018: EDIT:
Should have been...
No, I wouldn't give her the ring either. Sorry for the confusion.
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend found the engagement ring box and thinks I'm cheating
Q. More than a year ago I bought an expensive emerald engagement ring to give to my live-in girlfriend intending to propose. I never quite found the right time because of some personal problems in her family and then later on we had big fight and I re...
A. 11 October 2018: No, I would give her the ring either. You bought that ring SPECIFICALLY to propose with.
What you DO need to do is to figure out, IS this relationship salvageable? What needs done to fix stuff and then HAVE that conversation and PUT in the work... (read in full...)
Is he flirting or am I reading too much into his actions?
Q. I recently transferred into a different team at work and started working very closely with the guy who recommended me for the role. I REALLY like him as as a person and we get along great. Sometimes have suspicion that he 'likes' me, but then I t...
A. 11 October 2018: I think he IS flirty but I think you need to use that big brain of yours and realize that romance in the work place isn't a smart move. What happened last time you mixed work and romance? hmm?
To quote you:" The last time I fell for a guy at work ... (read in full...)
Are my expectations too high for my long distance boyfriend?
Q. Our LDR has been rocky the past few months. He's neglecting abd taking for granted our relationship. Today is my birthday. I spent the entire morning in Urgent Care because I had extremely bad stomach and back pains in the middle of the night, a...
A. 11 October 2018:
I agree with Auntie BimBim, it's time to rethink this relationship.
For one, a LDR is RARELY a good idea. The complications from the LACK of spending time together, the lack of intimacy (not necessarily sex), the problem with communicatio... (read in full...)
I am caught in the middle of a boy I like and my female friend
Q. I'm in a pretty tough situation and I don't know what to do. I'm in a friendship group of three people. My closest friend who is a girl and a guy that I have become closer to as he is really close to her aswell. I have feelings for him and have done ...
A. 11 October 2018: Honestly?
If you are at someone's house and they (RUDE) leave to go be by themselves, WHY stay? Why not say OK she obviously doesn't WANT me here and then leave?
I would. I certainly wouldn't STAY if the host LEFT the room to go be "alone". B... (read in full...)
How can we help this young man whose mother threw him out and bad mouths him to his own family?
Q. How can we make this better for this child? A few years ago, my family brought in a 13 year old troubled child and raised him as his Mum wanted nothing to do with him. She threw him out of the house with nothing but the clothes he was wearing. ...
A. 10 October 2018: You can't really "make" her stop. UNFORTUNATELY.
However, if she post these things in WRITTEN form it's libel and slander (especially if he can probe it) and can be a matter for the courts. IF she is using social media like Facebook, he CAN try ... (read in full...)
Should I cut her out of my life?
Q. Almost a year ago I met a girl through one of my friends. She had just come out of a 6 year relationship which lead to her losing almost all of her friends. She moved to my city for work and this is how I met her. I had an instant attracti...
A. 10 October 2018: Yep, I agree with CodeWarrior.
You can still be polite and civil when you see her but I wouldn't go out of my WAY to talk to her and entertain her when there is a gathering of friends or events. If they are bigger events there are PLENTY of other... (read in full...)
Is it just office banter?
Q. I am in my late 40s and work in an office with a group of men who liven the day up with their banter and occasional innuendo. Would you still count these as general banter and fun from one person 'a male work colleague shutting the door on you ...
A. 10 October 2018: Sounds like banter.
I would just nip ANYTHING that has sexual undertones in the bud and stick to fun without the sexual undertones.... (read in full...)
We still have feelings for each other but he doesn't want to date
Q. My boyfriend and I dated for 6 months and we broke up 2 months ago. I miss him so much. HE still has feelings for me and I still have feelings for him but he doesn't want to date anyone right now. I have no idea what to do. Any thoughts?...
A. 10 October 2018: Cut the contact as much as you possibly can.
While you two are still wrapped up in the EMOTIONS for each other, neither of you will move forward.
It's OK to miss someone as a partner/BF/GF but at some point you are going to have to accept t... (read in full...)
My partner is googling how to flirt sites.
Q. Hi all Just seeking opinions as to whether there is a need for concern or just over reacting. Bit of back ground info. Been in a relationship for 10 years. In the earlier part there were bouts of cheating on his part. We worked through it but I ma...
A. 9 October 2018: Well, at least you know that you DID handle it without overreacting. While he might have "thought" you asked because you were suspicious or wanting to accuse him... it doesn't really matter, he chose the LIE and YELL option.
Because bullshit... (read in full...)
My girlfriend found the engagement ring box and thinks I'm cheating
Q. More than a year ago I bought an expensive emerald engagement ring to give to my live-in girlfriend intending to propose. I never quite found the right time because of some personal problems in her family and then later on we had big fight and I re...
A. 8 October 2018: If she thinks you are cheating, this is NOT the time to propose.
There is a lack of trust here and I have to ask why.
I don't see a logic leap from an empty box from a jeweler to cheating.
So I would definitely NOT propose if there are tru... (read in full...)
I'm dating a new guy but I'm still not over my ex
Q. I am 15 , 16 in a few weeks .About 3 months ago , me and my boyfriend of a year broke up and over the summer I gave myself time to get over him . Once summer ended I got back in touch with a boy that I’ve known for about 2 years , we started to hang ...
A. 8 October 2018: You jumped into a new relationship too fast. You might have thought that "summer-break" was long enough to move on, but that is not always how things work, sometimes it takes longer.
2 months was obviously NOT long enough to "get over" the brea... (read in full...)
We had an argument about porn and lack of sex
Q. H, me and my partner had a argument last week about him watching porn and not having sex with me. we’ve been together for 4 years I’m always catching him watching porn but he makes no effort at all to have sex with me. he says he doesn’t have a s...
A. 8 October 2018: You already asked this question...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-watches-porn-but-wont-have-sex-with.html
... (read in full...)
My partner is googling how to flirt sites.
Q. Hi all Just seeking opinions as to whether there is a need for concern or just over reacting. Bit of back ground info. Been in a relationship for 10 years. In the earlier part there were bouts of cheating on his part. We worked through it but I ma...
A. 8 October 2018: I have to ask first, WHAT do you think would happen if you confronted him?
Would he deny, lie or gaslight you with some lame story that he is someone's wingman and he was looking up stuff to advice this "friend"?
What would you GAIN by confront... (read in full...)
I hit him while drunk for making a pathetic comment and now I deeply regret it
Q. DearCupid, I'm 31 years old. I met my boyfriend 28, about 2 yeare ago, weve been together for an official year and it has been the most amazing relationship I have ever had in my life with the most amazing man. But when I met him I was unhappily ...
A. 8 October 2018: Yes, you made several mistakes and here you are.
1. You started to date BEFORE your divorce was even final. YOU ARE NOT single and ready to mingle! Not until the papers are signed. Legally or otherwise.
2. You hit someone for saying something... (read in full...)
Should I cut her out of my life?
Q. Almost a year ago I met a girl through one of my friends. She had just come out of a 6 year relationship which lead to her losing almost all of her friends. She moved to my city for work and this is how I met her. I had an instant attracti...
A. 8 October 2018: Yep, cut her loose.
You keep lying to her AND yourself. You don't WANT to be her friend, you wanted and want more.
SHE lies to you (and maybe herself) that she doesn't want to keep having sex or get closer to you - yet she bragged about a ... (read in full...)
It's been 4 years and it doesn't look like he will ever change. How much longer should I wait for him?
Q. Hello all. I am seeking advice on how to make a relationship move forward or how to make your SO plan for the future, I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years as of October. He is 27 and i am 23. We have had a wonderful relationship thus fa...
A. 8 October 2018: Hold off on buying a house just yet. YOU can move out WITHOUT him. However, if he does end up staying at your place a lot... he will have to pitch in.
If you are OK with living at home until you are done with your degree (and your parents are OK t... (read in full...)
Should I tell my potential mistress that my marriage is falling apart (not true) in order to increase my chances that she'll do it without guilt?
Q. My question is simple. I'm married and going on a trip this weekend to meet a friend that I'd like to get intimate with. She knows I'm married, but has hinted she doesn't care that much. However, I'm not sure I trust that. Should I tell her that my ...
A. 8 October 2018: Why not BE a man about it and DIVORCE your wife so you can FUCK around guilt-free?
I hope Karma rides you hard and put you away wet.
You and your potential mistress are a pair of despicable people who belong together so you can make each other ... (read in full...)
What will help me feel at ease about entering a bdsm relationship?
Q. I am 25 and about to enter into my first bdsm relationship with a guy I met online. We’ve been talking for a while now and discussed everything we both want but I am a past rape victim and getting spanked scared me! He knows this but nothing he has ...
A. 8 October 2018: I agree that you should consider therapy to deal with past trauma.
BDSM has nothing to do with violence against women (or men) such as rape.
My concern is that this is a virtual stranger you are making plans with and have this elaborate fantas... (read in full...)
He watches porn but wont have sex with me.
Q. Hi me and my partner had a argument last week about him watching porn and not having sex with me we’ve been together for 4 years I’m always catching him watching porn but he makes no effort at all to have sex with me he says he doesn’t have a sex ...
A. 8 October 2018: Sounds like he is over the relationship and is trying to freeze you out so you will leave.
You say:"he has always been a cold person never any affection or love from him" So WHY on EARTH have you stuck it out for 4 years? That sounds lonely a... (read in full...)
My partner wont make amends with my mother.
Q. Hi there, My partner and I had an argument the other evening and it blew off on a tangent to him calling my mother poisonous, and he told me to tell my mother to "be less poisonous around him" I did as he asked, but tried to break it gen...
A. 8 October 2018: Honestly OP?
Sounds like your partner is working on isolating you from your support-net and family.
HIS family is all that matters. As you can see his mother is trying to mother you as well. So in his (or maybe his whole family's eyes) t... (read in full...)
I am resentful of my husband being on a cruise without me. How do I stop feeling this way?
Q. My husband is onboard a cruise ship for two weeks on a "team building" work trip. Spouses were not encouraged to go but either way, I could not go as I have just started my own business and it would be an inopportune time for me to get away. We also ...
A. 5 October 2018: Why would it not be OK for him to go dance?
Did you two get married or buried? He isn't dead! There are so many activities on these ships and you expect him to SIT on his hand because you are not there to partake in the fun?
There needs t... (read in full...)
My wife's adult children are bums whose lifestyles I pay for.
Q. Hi all, I have a problem. First off, I've been married for over 21 years. We largely get along -- mostly because I don't complain about much. During that time, I have raised my wife's 2 children from her previous marriage. They are cur...
A. 5 October 2018: Wow you have been there to RAISE these kids for 21 years and you call then YOUR wife's kids? What kind of man are you?
While I FULLY agree that you should NOT have to pay for grown ASS adult kids (regardless of who fathered them) I think you need... (read in full...)
It seems that he wants me to want him, despite the fact he’s not looking for a serious relationship!
Q. I have been seeing a guy got a few months now. At first I thought it would have potential eventually but now after getting to know him I feel like it's not going to reach bf/gf status. He's just not the kind of guy I would have a relationship with. ...
A. 5 October 2018: Does it matter what HE wants?
If he doesn't want a serious relationship and THAT is what you are looking for, then STOP wasting your time on him, regardless of good sex and him being attractive.
He can (and of you let him WILL) continue this "t... (read in full...)
My friends remarks upset me, am I too sensitive?
Q. My best friend has always been there for me during extremely horrible times. She has defended me behind my back and so on... However, as of several months ago I have grown increasingly mad and resentful... I feel that when I need to vent and I te...
A. 5 October 2018: I think she is the kind of friend who doesn't tip toe around with her opinion, she calls it like she sees it.
Now you MAY feel you can handle a dog, even if you haven't had one in ages, SHE deals with being a dog-owner every days. Whether she didn... (read in full...)
I'm not comfortable seeing him if he is going to date other people.
Q. I have been dating/talking to this guy for only 3 weeks. We have been in on a few dates and I have stayed at his house also , things seemed to be going well. So I found out he took another girl out on a date but he doesn’t know that I know , and I ...
A. 5 October 2018: I understand you fully.
However, it does seem to be the "norm" these days that SOME people date multiple people. I think, that IF someone IS dating more than one person at a time they need to be up front about it.
I wouldn't date someone who... (read in full...)
Is it okay to ask out a girl from my workplace just for the fact that I find her beautiful?
Q. Hello Agony Aunts and Uncles. I’ve recently broke up with a girlfriend (if you can call 1 year as recent). I’m not used to the whole dating game and being single thing but I’m thinking of asking out this girl. I’ve never dated anyone since my break ...
A. 5 October 2018: Keep asking and I'll try and keep giving you my thoughts.
I think you should set yourself a goal of going on a couple of dates with women NOT for the purpose of finding your future wife, but just to SEE what is out there.
Just like Gretchen Wi... (read in full...)
Struggling to get over ex and finding it hard to look at dating again!
Q. Hi all, I guess this is a slightly multi-layered problem. Firstly I am single as of close to year ago. I mention this as I feel it potentially explains certain things as of yet mentioned. It was a strange breakup that never really had clos...
A. 3 October 2018: Try not to "force" yourself to dating. Spend time with your friends, do go on little dates here and there but TRY to not see them as "marriage or long term dating prospects".
And lastly, I would say my goodbyes to your ex. Wish her well and then... (read in full...)
Should I date her even though I'm intimidated by her?
Q. I am talking to someone on a dating site that seemed very keen and has gotten me excited about prospects but I am quite intimidated by her to the point that I think I am putting her off... She is quite far away but we hit it off chatting away to...
A. 3 October 2018: I see quite a few red flags.
1. you feel like it's "almost too good to be true, which means... it probably is.
2. she is "selling" herself in a very forward manner and you don't seem to be entirely comfortable with that.
3. she talks a ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to ask out a girl from my workplace just for the fact that I find her beautiful?
Q. Hello Agony Aunts and Uncles. I’ve recently broke up with a girlfriend (if you can call 1 year as recent). I’m not used to the whole dating game and being single thing but I’m thinking of asking out this girl. I’ve never dated anyone since my break ...
A. 3 October 2018: This is exactly why you should have a chat with a person before making a decision.
Love isn't really first sight thing, LUST is.
Because the way a person looks is not really about love at all, that is more their personality, sense of humor, ... (read in full...)
New boyfriend wants to dress in a dress during sex
Q. I have just got a new boyfriend and he told me something a couple of days ago, he said he wants to dress in female pvc in the bedroom. He doesnt want to wear wigs or do make up just wear a dress and certainly doesnt want to go outside in public. At ...
A. 2 October 2018: Just be honest with him.
If this is NOT your thing and you don't even WANT to try it, it's OK. JUST tell him.
I don't think he will go elsewhere to try this.
I would probably ask WHY he wants to try it and go from there.
You are not al... (read in full...)
I am resentful of my husband being on a cruise without me. How do I stop feeling this way?
Q. My husband is onboard a cruise ship for two weeks on a "team building" work trip. Spouses were not encouraged to go but either way, I could not go as I have just started my own business and it would be an inopportune time for me to get away. We also ...
A. 2 October 2018: The horny texts is because he misses you. I think he is WELL AWARE that YOU two should have had this cruise a long time ago and that might make him a little home sick and horny. Doesn't mean he is cheating. And sure, he COULD be looking at other ... (read in full...)
I want to fix things after I freaked him out!
Q. There's a person I still have feelings for who I used to talk to, but not anymore due to some of the things I did in which I was sorry for and apologised lots of times . I hate the fact I still like him as it makes me feel so upset and worthless , ...
A. 2 October 2018: He has a GF, so maybe it's time you accept that you had a crush that was off in the timing, and perhaps maturity level.
I think you were simply too "intense" for him.
If you later on find yourself liking a guy, HOLD your horse, don't call and t... (read in full...)
20 years apart, is it okay to see each other?
Q. I have a small group of close friends that I socialize with regularly and we're mostly all about the same age range (40s) - and I'm 46. A while back one of the friends started bringing around another friend (they're both nurses and work together) ...
A. 2 October 2018: I think since it's NOT serious right now, there is NO need to to inform your kids.
Now you CAN say you are seeing someone but that it's not serious and when you feel it IS getting serious you will introduce them to each other (though... I DO sug... (read in full...)
I'm not fitting in with my new coworkers!
Q. I've been at my job for 5 years. 2 months ago, I decided to change positions to get more experience. In my line of work, it looks good to try new roles and I'd been in my previous position for 4 years. My coworkers in my old position were li...
A. 2 October 2018: Focus more on your job than the social side of it. It's not high school anymore. what matters is your performance not making friends. (which it CAN be an added bonus to also make friends... it's BOT the priority in any job).
So Focus on your job... (read in full...)
My parents are trying to take my land!
Q. Hi everyone, my story might be shocking to all but im desperate to find an advice. I'm a filipina. I came from the family I can called dysfunctional family. I will try to make the story short . My parents are extreme abusive not only physically but ...
A. 1 October 2018: Not much else you can do but LAWYER up.... (read in full...)
What is it about women like this, who are seemingly very ordinary both in looks and nature, that still have their partners in rapt attention?
Q. I'm probably going to get a lot of flak for asking this question but I'll go ahead anyway. I've been married for 3 years to a wonderful man. He's kind, respectful of me, a great husband and a wonderful father to our daughter. She is our world and...
A. 1 October 2018: I think CodeWarrior is right.
I don't think this is for all "plain" women though, it's combination of these two people.
As for what they post on Social Media - I'd like to point out that 90% of it is probably bullshit. Some people ACTUALLY ... (read in full...)
To send a message or not send a message, what if I come across as weird?
Q. Should I message someone to say I want to be his friend ? About a year ago I started talking to someone and spent a bit of time with him, but at first was not that bothered about being his friend because I didn't really know him that well and didn...
A. 1 October 2018: What do you have to lose?
If he think you are "weird" for saying hi, how are you? Then he won't contact you back and that will be that... At least you will know, right?
But if you don't reach out... all you can do it regret that you didn't ... (read in full...)
Being with him makes me feel like the loneliest person in the world, should I just walk away?
Q. He never has time for me, not even during the weekends. It's not like I sit there begging for his attention all day, every day.. I have my chores, errands, hang out with my friends, etc. But I do also want to talk to him and spend time with him. Whe...
A. 1 October 2018: While he obviously CAN be sweet and attentive, you have not BEEN his top priority in the last 3 years.
Guy friends and then side projects are more important to him.
Seem to me that he LIKES the idea of a relationship and having a GF, but... (read in full...)
On social media he blocks me, unblocks me, friends me then unfriends, I don't know what to do.
Q. I have no idea where to begin I am only hoping you all can offer some advice. So I was with my ex for three years, we were engaged at one point, but I broke it off after our twin babies were born stillborn. We stayed in a relationship we just ...
A. 1 October 2018: First, OP I'd like to say I'm sorry for your loss of your babies. I hope you have sought some grief counseling for that. If not, maybe that is something to consider.
What to do OP?
I know you have an emotional connection to this guy but he ... (read in full...)
Being with him makes me feel like the loneliest person in the world, should I just walk away?
Q. He never has time for me, not even during the weekends. It's not like I sit there begging for his attention all day, every day.. I have my chores, errands, hang out with my friends, etc. But I do also want to talk to him and spend time with him. Whe...
A. 1 October 2018: Good for you OP!
You wanting to spend time with him is called "barking" at him? Seriously?
You spend 5 YEARS with this guy WAITING to start a REAL relationship? You know... the kind where people grow together, etc.
Take yourself some ti... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my controlling husband?
Q. my husband is very controlling he times my every move. tells me to pack my clothes when I try to go see my friend and says housework is women work. and we both work. he spends all the extra money we are about behind on our bills that I take care of ...
A. 30 September 2018: How long have you been married?
And is this who you see yourself with as you grow older?
It sounds like a miserable existence.
If you DO want to try to change things, I would suggest 1. that you sit down with him and make a budget, so you EA... (read in full...)
Being with him makes me feel like the loneliest person in the world, should I just walk away?
Q. He never has time for me, not even during the weekends. It's not like I sit there begging for his attention all day, every day.. I have my chores, errands, hang out with my friends, etc. But I do also want to talk to him and spend time with him. Whe...
A. 30 September 2018: Just end it, OP
His words are just words. The whole I"I want to be with you" is something he says because he KNOWS that is what you want to hear.
You OBVIOUSLY is not a priority for him. AT all.
If he is busy when you call he doesn't even... (read in full...)
Is it okay to ask out a girl from my workplace just for the fact that I find her beautiful?
Q. Hello Agony Aunts and Uncles. I’ve recently broke up with a girlfriend (if you can call 1 year as recent). I’m not used to the whole dating game and being single thing but I’m thinking of asking out this girl. I’ve never dated anyone since my break ...
A. 29 September 2018: The workplace is not Tindr...
You do't "swipe" right on a girl at work because she is hot..
Come on Sam! Use a little common sense.
BUT if you WANT to get to know her.. how about MAKING the effort to get to know her? Like say hi, my name is ... (read in full...)
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