I’m excited at the concept of an open relationship but I’m not really happy with the current situation.
Q. My girlfriend of 6 years is studying abroad for a year (since mid-September). We’re fairly committed to each other so we are trying to do long distance. We are also fairly sexual people but have only ever really been with each other. We are also ...
A. 20 November 2018: I'm glad to hear you have chosen to just go hang out with people and not try and "fuck your way through the time she is overseas" (to put it bluntly).
Adding more people to a relationship RARELY works out. Now you know.
And I don't think you ... (read in full...)
I'm hurt, confused, angry and betrayed.
Q. So Last night I texted my gf and asked her how it started and she said that they met at a mutual friends house and he went up to her and they started talking about regulsr shit at first. Eventually they started chatting over what...
A. 2 November 2018: She (your mom) probably thought in a roundabout way that she was protecting everyone by not telling and trying to stay OUT of your business.
She DID do the right thing in telling your GF to fess up.
Being mad at your mom for your ex-gf's act... (read in full...)
I'm unable to move on after being rejected by the girl I love
Q. In my current state I feel lonely, depressed and unable to get over recent rejection with the *only* person I've had feelings for so far. To give more insight, I'm 15 years old and far from being attractive. In fact, I've not been favoured once by...
A. 31 October 2018: OP, none of us has a crystal ball and can see the future.
Tying all your hopes and dreams of a relationship up in a girl who has already rejected you, will NOT change the outcome.
I get that you REALLY like her, and that she likes you (as a ... (read in full...)
I don't want to make things easy for my ex. Do I move out because he wants me to?
Q. Hi This is gonna be long post . I am 23.lets call him A . We met in highschool and offically started dating. His parents and extended family approved of us and things were good. We were both young and immature .We had all ups and downin the relat...
A. 30 October 2018: You need to let go of A and any dreams of a future with him.
You two met when you were young and immature. While maybe all the parents thought this is it! It wasn't. At least not for him.
As for you having to move out of the country so they ... (read in full...)
He doesn't believe that I am over my ex
Q. So I met this guy via a dating app 9 months ago, we messaged for about 2 months but he was wary to meet up as he was still not entirely over his last relationship. I wanted to meet him but in the end he freaked out, back tracked and asked me not to ...
A. 30 October 2018: You drop him.
Honestly, OP HOW many times are you going to LET this guy reel you in and the push you away?
I don't think he was telling the truth when he claimed that he doesn't believe you are over your ex, he just USED that as a convenient ... (read in full...)
A friend is interested in a poly-amorous relationship but how do I tell my wife?
Q. I and my wife have been married for 40 years and our love for each other is as solid now as it ever has been. Our sex life up until 8 years ago was very satisfying. Eight years ago my wife sustained an injury which has left her house bound. She ...
A. 30 October 2018: You obviously love and respect your wife, I have no doubt about that.
And I also understand your situation as it is similar in a way to my own. My husband had a heart-attack and consequent surgeries, plus an assortment of meds several of which a ... (read in full...)
I need your thoughts on how to sort this situation.
Q. Recently with the past 2 months, my boyfriend of nine years and I ended our relationship. Our relationship had it’s good points, but overall was very toxic and tumultuous. He has a pre-teen daughter and myself an 11-year-old son. He’s been my ...
A. 29 October 2018: I'm sorry this is happening to your son.
You ex made promises he wouldn't keep. Not at all uncommon, but that doesn't help your son.
Personally, I would have a sit down with your son and ask him if he wants to continue to have contact with his... (read in full...)
I'm in a messed up situation with a guy from another country
Q. Hey dear agony aunts I met this guy one month ago (B) who got my number from a friend of mine. We started talking casually. B doesn’t live in our country and he told me he while we were just talking that he had a girlfriend in a different country ...
A. 29 October 2018: OP, don't be so naive!
If you think a guy who will GLADLY cheat on his GF won't cheat on you, then you are by far too naive or... maybe just inexperienced.
He knows how to sweet talk women. You are no unique in thinking he cares about you.... (read in full...)
Has anyone else given up a fairly long-term, comfortable relationship for something new and exciting with so much in common and a strong sexual attraction?
Q. My boyfriend and I have just passed 3 years together. We have a great life together: we laugh a lot, we support each other, we cook, we travel, we have many of the same interests and tastes. I know he loves me and I love him too, but it's always ...
A. 28 October 2018: OP, STICK to your guns.
Now that you have made your decision, block delete, remove the other guy from your life totally. No checking up on his on social media or whatnot.. nope, gone.
Guy #2 is using words, the words he think women wants to h... (read in full...)
I'm hurt, confused, angry and betrayed.
Q. So Last night I texted my gf and asked her how it started and she said that they met at a mutual friends house and he went up to her and they started talking about regulsr shit at first. Eventually they started chatting over what...
A. 28 October 2018: Break up, OP
You can't trust her to NOT cheat again. What you had together is now "tainted" by her cheating. That is why you keep having these dreams of her cheating. That is your subconscious telling you that you are MAD over it.
And I agree, ... (read in full...)
During a break I went to work on my flaws but he never took responsibility of his. Now hes forcing his way back into my life. What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I of 2 years went on a 6 week break after many rows. This was mainly due to my insecurity issues, which caused many arguments leading to the break. During the break I wanted to make a huge change in my life and went to see ...
A. 28 October 2018: I think you should keep working on yourself and tell HIM you aren't ready to get into a relationship any time soon WITH him. That making the break up permanent might be what you BOTH need.
You have ONLY been working on yourself for a month, a... (read in full...)
He’s a selfish date, do I get rid or give him one last chance?
Q. Why am i such an idiot. i arranged a date with a friend of mine we decided to give it a go. He messaged me to say he was home and that i can go round so i got a taxi to his and knocked on his door a few times and he didnt answer. It was late dark ...
A. 28 October 2018: If I were you, I'd hold my head up high and tell him you have decided you don't see a future with him.
And then DROP him.
I get why you are mad. It was a ridiculous incident. He put you in danger and no excuse of "I fell asleep" is good ... (read in full...)
She said no. Should I keep trying?
Q. So, I've liked somebody for a long time (2-3 years) and recently, a couple of weeks ago I decided to tell them how I felt. I've been friends with her since we first met and everybody I know was certain she was into me as well. Unfortunately I was ...
A. 28 October 2018: No, means no, OP
Which means, if she ISN'T interested in you romantically YOU need to respect that.
You went out on a limb and told her how you felt, THAT was brave. But you ALSO need to ACCEPT and RESPECT that she doesn't feel the same way abo... (read in full...)
Lover wants to stay with his children for now
Q. My lover cannot live with me just yet because he still wants to live with his children who are 21 and 19.....He said they still need him .... He doesn’t love his wife... they share no interests as a couple, just stayed married for their kids sake... ...
A. 28 October 2018: Amen to what Auntie BimBim said,
There will ALWAYS be an excuse as to WHY he can't be with you.
And since you have stayed with the carrot of him being yours one day, for so long... he knows that he can go from "excuse" to "excuse" and you... (read in full...)
How can I make her my girlfriend?
Q. There is this girl I work with and I really, really like her. Her and I both started working together at the same time and she has been in 2 relationships that hadn't ended well. She knows I like her and care a lot about her, but she keeps saying ...
A. 28 October 2018: OP, you have been taught that NO means NO, right?
What she is saying is NO. She doesn't feel the same way as you do. SHE doesn't WANT to date you. And you can't MAKE her.
So you have to accept that she might like you but she doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
I think my bf is bored with me and I'm feeling insecure about sex
Q. So lately I’ve been feeling insecure about sex. Me and my bf had an argument that he was following strippers on Instagram. He ended up deleting it. I told him that it made me feel disrespected and insecure. He said that he thought about why he ...
A. 28 October 2018: I have to agree with WiseOwlE
While I DO think it's VERY important to communicate with your partner, I also think it's VITAL in a relationship to have your OWN personal standards and boundaries.
IT'S no EXCUSE to follow strippers or por... (read in full...)
We met online I'm 18 he's 34. Is it wrong that I want to be with him?
Q. I just want opinions. I have known a man for over 3 months now. We met online, we Skype regularly, he's amazing. We talk everyday. He lives 2 hours away from me.The only thing is he is 34 and I am 18. I want to be with him so bad. Is this wro...
A. 27 October 2018: He is ALMOST twice you age... and you think this is love?
This is an OLDER (compared to you) GROWN ASS man GROOMING you ONLINE to think that he LOVES you and that age gap means nothing. However, it does. You aren't even a FULLY grown adult, b... (read in full...)
Why are these people at my gym being so weird? Do you think the guy likes me?
Q. For the past few months, a group of people who I see at the gym regularly have started paying attention to me. I have been going there for 3 years and have seen them throughout those 3 years, and they have never noticed me until now, which is ...
A. 27 October 2018: Honestly?
I would ignore it and keep working out. If "spare wheel" and YCBS calls him is interested HE can approach you in a more "mature and civilized" manner.
Seems more like they are playing games, and I would quite frankly NOT want to be p... (read in full...)
Has anyone else given up a fairly long-term, comfortable relationship for something new and exciting with so much in common and a strong sexual attraction?
Q. My boyfriend and I have just passed 3 years together. We have a great life together: we laugh a lot, we support each other, we cook, we travel, we have many of the same interests and tastes. I know he loves me and I love him too, but it's always ...
A. 27 October 2018: Jumping from one relationship to another RARELY works out. THAT is why affairs usually blows up several people's lives.
You have to decide. No one else can do that FOR you.
Sure, the new guy is tempting. But put the shoe on the other foot, HOW ... (read in full...)
I’m excited at the concept of an open relationship but I’m not really happy with the current situation.
Q. My girlfriend of 6 years is studying abroad for a year (since mid-September). We’re fairly committed to each other so we are trying to do long distance. We are also fairly sexual people but have only ever really been with each other. We are also ...
A. 27 October 2018: I think you should be open about how it makes you feel.
And I also think the reason you are up in the air about it now, is because she has BARELY been gone a month and she is already out there "trying" out her new boundaries.
Open relation... (read in full...)
I can't give either of them up but I know I need to in the long term.
Q. I'm in a relationship with a great man. We have our ups and downs as do any couple but he is undoubtably who I want to be with and we are on the whole very happy. However. I have been having a fling/relationship - call or what you will, with someo...
A. 27 October 2018: I think you should ask your partner how HE feels and what HE thinks you should do.
If he is smart he drops you like a rock.
You know what you are doing isn't fair to your partner or your fling's partner but you don't seem to care. Saying you... (read in full...)
I believe my husband has sick fantasies about my daughter. She trusts him. What should I do?
Q. I found a spare phone in my husband's truck and saved to his favorites was "Stepdaughter fucks step dad".. I have a beautiful 18 year old daughter that lives with us . I'm leaving him because to me, that is unacceptable and I will never look at him ...
A. 26 October 2018: I'm glad she is with you, mad or not... it's better than the alternative.
Thanks for the update as well.
... (read in full...)
Does introducing a girl to your family mean anything special?
Q. We have been dating for 7 months. I am 32 and his age is 41 years old. During the 7 months, he said he does not introducr everone to his fanily. He only introduces people are special for him. After 7 months, he said he wants to have a future with me ...
A. 26 October 2018: EDIT...
It should have read....
Personally, I wouldn't read TOO much into it.
Don't over think things already. Or you will go from dissapointment to dissapointment.... (read in full...)
I think my husband is deliberately making himself unnatractive to me.
Q. My husband never showers or brushes his teeth when he is home with me , even if it’s a whole week . We’ve been married less than two years. The last time we had sex was three months ago , he says he’s tired from working but watches porn ( ...
A. 26 October 2018: Have you asked him POINT black?
Not if he is gay, but if he is trying to make himself unattractive for you. I know I would.
However, it could be that he is depressed, not able to keep up with you sexually (masturbation is WAY easier than plea... (read in full...)
Men never notice me, it makes me feel bad.
Q. I am 23 and I never get hit on, catcalled, approached, or asked out. I've never even had a boyfriend before. My friends seem to get hit on and catcalled and it starts making me feel like I am unattractive. I never thought I was ugly but not getting ...
A. 25 October 2018: Here is the thing, OP
YOU CAN'T make others approach you. You CAN however, approach guy YOU find attractive.
And just because men don't flock to you asking for your number or catcall you, doesn't make you unattractive, it might make you SEEMING... (read in full...)
Does introducing a girl to your family mean anything special?
Q. We have been dating for 7 months. I am 32 and his age is 41 years old. During the 7 months, he said he does not introducr everone to his fanily. He only introduces people are special for him. After 7 months, he said he wants to have a future with me ...
A. 25 October 2018: I think that depends on a lot of things.
Such as, cultural/ethnic/religious background.
Saying that he ONLY introduces "special" people to his family might BE true, but it might also be something he says to make you FEEL special.
For ... (read in full...)
I wont to move across country and leave this life behind, but worry if I am doing the right thing
Q. Should I move across the country? I have grown up in New York - originally born in Europe but immigrate here when I was 9. I am 33 now single female and for my education oout if the way and currently working 89 hours a week to pay off my debt/loans ...
A. 25 October 2018: I don't think moving is a bad thing, especially when you have a job lined up already.
However, if you think that LA is going to be cheaper than NY... I think you have another thing coming...
So visiting first would be a good idea. Sure, you ... (read in full...)
After making him my facebook friend he held my wrist.
Q. I just made a new friend via Facebook on Sunday. I sent him a quick text and he read it but replied the next day being Monday morning. The same day (Monday) I saw him as I was walking in the evening. It was dark but he recognized me. He ...
A. 25 October 2018: I would presume that is up to you?
DO you feel it was appropriate to touch you? If you told your parents what would they think?
In YOUR culture is this OK?
And OP, he isn't your friend yet, you added him as a friend... and sent one t... (read in full...)
I'm a finance director at a mid-size company but I’m singled out at the very bottom of the website. Should I bring it up?
Q. Here is my silly question! I’m a finance director at a mid size company and my bio just got added to the companies website. The team are ranked by the title but I’m singled out at the very bottom of the page. I don’t know if it sounds stupid and ...
A. 25 October 2018: Argh...
I hate when a cat walk on the keyboard and apparently hit send... :)
You could argue that it should be alphabetically?
Or... Seniority?
My guess is you were added on. Initially you were left out? I worked in finances for years a... (read in full...)
I'm a finance director at a mid-size company but I’m singled out at the very bottom of the website. Should I bring it up?
Q. Here is my silly question! I’m a finance director at a mid size company and my bio just got added to the companies website. The team are ranked by the title but I’m singled out at the very bottom of the page. I don’t know if it sounds stupid and ...
A. 25 October 2018: I have to ask... WHO from that list should be on the bottom?
If you can answer that maybe you can make the argument for NOT being last on the list?... (read in full...)
After years of putting up with my wife's drunken behavior, she gets sober and 6 months later she is getting righteous on me!
Q. I first met my wife in college. I drank once in a blue moon, but not really. If was before I met her, but she told me she was a binge drinker who was hospitalized because she threw up blood from an ulcer after a lot of drinking. When we dated we...
A. 24 October 2018: You should be a supportive husband and quit the booze.
Come on! NO ONE NEEDS to drink to be social!
It took her to get hospitalized to quit, and you can't see that the REASON she has to stay away from alcohol is to stay healthy?
You... (read in full...)
My mother's controlling attitude has put a huge strain on my marriage and I was too much of a coward to deal with her. What do I do now?
Q. I dated my wife for 5 years, now we are happily married for 6 years with 4kids. My mother was ok with her the first 2 years of us being together but after that she hated my wife for no reason. My mother became jealous of our relationship then she ...
A. 24 October 2018: I don't think you HAVE to cut her out completely, but give her time-outs like you would a toddler.
So, IF she visits and acts like a malicious monster, ASK her to gather her stuff, MARCH her to the car and DRIVE her home. Tell her you will NO ... (read in full...)
He didn't disclose his real age. Am I overreacting?
Q. I met a guy several months ago, when we were taking an evening class together. I was too shy to talk to anyone for a while, but then one day he and I found we took the same route home after class. We got talking. I mentioned I'd just had my 25th ...
A. 24 October 2018: Listen to your head, OP
And I don't think you are "ageist" either. You have been burned in the past and thus wary of guy who are older than you. While you can't paint ALL older guys with the same brush, you have to go with what YOU feel safe abo... (read in full...)
I went out of my way to make my friend feel special on his birthday but he didn't do anything for me on mine
Q. It’s really bugging me that I spent my birthday alone. When my best friend has his birthday, I planned dinner, made sure all his friends were there. I personally took them, paid for him etc. We had a great time. Recently it was my bir...
A. 23 October 2018: Just like with giving gifts, doing "nice/considerate" things for others, I have found that having ABSOLUTELY no expectation of reciprocity works best for me.
It's also makes it THAT much more special when people DO "return the favor".
I get w... (read in full...)
Should I take this job I really need even though I’m over-qualified?
Q. I have been offered a lecturing job which I really need - I already have 2 other jobs, but since splitting from my ex, this isn't quite enough for me to live on. The job that was offered would have been permanent ie.a permanent contract - but w...
A. 23 October 2018: I don't see it as being "degrading" They aren't asking you to clean toilets or lick the garden paths clean.
If you take the job, sure it's something you are over-qualified for AND it may only last 1 year. BUT at least you get your foot in the door... (read in full...)
How can I talk to someone that doesn't listen to anything I have to say?
Q. Hello and thank you for your opinions in advance My husband and I have been together for two years. When we were in a relationship he was extremely loving, expressive, a real sweetheart which didnt take me long to fall hard for him. For the fir...
A. 23 October 2018: Is this marriage really sustainable long term?
It sounds like he isn't working so are YOU footing the whole bill for you both?
You ask, HOW can I talk to someone who doesn't listen? Well, you can TALK to them ALL day, but there isn't anything y... (read in full...)
My LDR guy ignores and hurts me.
Q. We are certainly not young in age: I'm 45 and my partner is 61 years old but both are new in LDR world. 2 years ago my partner has lived and worked in different country and we have been apart since then. He is workaholic. As a result he focuse...
A. 23 October 2018: For many people LDR just don't work long term.
If I were you, I'd get busy with life where you are instead of putting so much focus on this guy. I get that yo u care for him and hope for a future WITH him, but as things stand... it doesn't ... (read in full...)
Five years on and he is still accusing me of cheating!
Q. How can I get my partner to trust me? We've been together 5 years, I've NEVER done anything that's remotely disloyal or unfaithful. When we met I had a few male friends, I'm now not allowed to speak to any of them despite the fact that all I've ev...
A. 22 October 2018: You know, OP
If you wasted another 5-10 years on this guy he would STILL accuse you of cheating. It's NOT about you. It's about HIM. HIS insecurities.
You have given up your friends, your social life for him, altered your looks to please him, m... (read in full...)
He didn't disclose his real age. Am I overreacting?
Q. I met a guy several months ago, when we were taking an evening class together. I was too shy to talk to anyone for a while, but then one day he and I found we took the same route home after class. We got talking. I mentioned I'd just had my 25th ...
A. 22 October 2018: Honestly, OP
I don't blame you. Someone who is WILLING to lie (and yes, he did lie the first time he claimed his age was 24 - or about that....) is willing to lie about anything.
He might have sense that if he told you I'm supposedly 30 ac... (read in full...)
I find myself wanting more but he appears lacklustre!
Q. I’m seeing someone new and we’ve been dating almost a month. In that time Ive seen him about 6 or 7 times. Real dates. Dinner or movies etc. He is great about showing up and doing fun stuff I don’t feel like he’s just looking for a physical ...
A. 22 October 2018: I think you need to LISTEN to your own "gut" or "feelings" about this.
He isn't as invested as you are. Maybe because he IS hoping to land that job and transfer but he doesn't want to TELL you in case you no longer wants to see him or if it falls... (read in full...)
I have a question about porn.
Q. I have a question about porn. My grandparents are pretty strict and almost never leave the house. Well, they do but Grandma works part time and Grandpa is retired and is actually a Deacon but they are never gone at the same time unless I'm in ...
A. 22 October 2018: Why can't you use your imagination?
You really think porn is that vital to masturbation?
It's NOT going to teach you how to have sex, it's not going to make you a better lover, all it is, is a moneymaker.
https://www.yourbrain... (read in full...)
Online dating but he's much shorter than me and we've never met. I don't know where this is going
Q. Okay so basically I met this guy on a dating app. We really hit it off and I don’ usually hit it off with guys. I usually get bored or they annoy me. I honestly don’t know how to explain it any other way. Anyways. I met this guy. He’s 29 and I’m ...
A. 21 October 2018: I have to agree, regardless of his height, DO YOU want to meet him or not?
You might meet up and PERSONALITY WISE you are not a good fit. And you might be a GREAT fit.
Meeting up doesn't mean you now HAVE to date him. It's ALWAYS good to s... (read in full...)
When discussing sexual history, do handjobs count as sex?
Q. When discussing sexual history should people you didn't have sex with but gave handjobs to count? I know to count oral and vaginal ( I never had anal.) but do handjobs you've given typically go into that count?...
A. 21 October 2018: Why on Earth is there a need to share ALL the details of what you have and have not done? Sexually?
Most people KNOW that their partner has or has NOT have previous sexual partner and hopefully.. they will know that their partners are STD free... (read in full...)
I believe my husband has sick fantasies about my daughter. She trusts him. What should I do?
Q. I found a spare phone in my husband's truck and saved to his favorites was "Stepdaughter fucks step dad".. I have a beautiful 18 year old daughter that lives with us . I'm leaving him because to me, that is unacceptable and I will never look at him ...
A. 17 October 2018: Well, she IS 18. So you can't MAKE her move with you. but I probably would mention that he has NO parental rights over her.
Does she know WHY you are moving out?
... (read in full...)
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