| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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After almost 3 years he says he likes me alot but doesn't love me "YET"???!!
Q. Ok so I have a question. I am 21 years old and he is 24 I have been with this guy for almost 3 years. I would think he loves me but when I ask him he always says he is not in love with me. He always says he really likes me a lot but he does not...
A. 27 April 2010: Not everything makes sense or has a cosmic meaning. Just let it go. ... (read in full...)
Can stress delay a period?
Q. I had protected sex with my boyfriend on April 23. My period came about the 5 of April and I was ovulating all the wk from 19 until the 23 (fertile). My question is we used a condom (it did not break) and he pull out before he came. To be on the ...
A. 27 April 2010: Stressing out can make you miss your period, yes. For me when I stress out real bad I get my period, and then another period again when I was actually supposed to get it.. But a friend of mine missed her period several times due to stress and other ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for me not to go ahead and sleep with other women when she says it's ok?
Q. I don't know what to make of this. I have only had sex with one woman. She and I are together and we plan on getting married. Although we haven't set a date we are serious. She has had sex with seven other guys before. She keeps telling me ...
A. 26 April 2010: She is testing you. Don't sleep with other women even when she tells you to. She says she doesn't want the heartbreak later on, well ask her this: do you want the heartbreak now and for us to end?
Because if you do have sex with anotehr woman it... (read in full...)
If fiancee was drugged said no, and doesn't remember, doesn't that qualify her as a virgin?
Q. My fiancee and I are both graduating college next month and getting married this summer. We are both virgins and both wanted to stay that way for marriage. Problem is my fiancee had a situation about 3 years ago, and now she's saying things to...
A. 26 April 2010: Mentally still a virgin I guess, but not physically a virgin. And I think all evidence says she was date-raped. And she should have reported that guy. Did she? Did she ever go seek help?
You need to ask her these questions. And if she didn't s... (read in full...)
We're getting married but when we go out its always "dutch"???!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for over two years now. we are now getting married. he was unemployed for over a year. i payed for our entertainment. some of this was expensive at times. he just recently got a job again. this job does ...
A. 26 April 2010: Deal with it I guess. He didn't ever promise you he'd pay you back did he? I guess he is thinkin in either case that now you are getting married and so if you ever get unemployed he will pay for you. If you have worries you can ask him about this ... (read in full...)
How can I tighten my vagina
Q. i m 29 years unmarried girl and lost my virginty 2 years back.i m still having sexual relation and my vagina become very loose.now my parents fix my marriage with another guy so how can i tighten my vagina faster....
A. 26 April 2010: Also, dont have sex for a good while now, that will tighten you up.... (read in full...)
Can you ever get over a guy who stole your first kiss?
Q. Up until recently I brokeup with my ex. We were only together when I moved away from his city to go uni so we actually never got to go on a proper date while being a pair since i broke it off cuz i couldn't handle missing him so much and neither ...
A. 26 April 2010: I wonder how you went for so long without ever kissing a guy? This was your ex, howcome you never kissed him while he was your boyfriend? I can't get my head around that. When in a relationship people are more intimate with eachother, 100% of the ... (read in full...)
After almost 3 years he says he likes me alot but doesn't love me "YET"???!!
Q. Ok so I have a question. I am 21 years old and he is 24 I have been with this guy for almost 3 years. I would think he loves me but when I ask him he always says he is not in love with me. He always says he really likes me a lot but he does not...
A. 26 April 2010: I dont think you made a mistake. You had a problem: you were witha guy for 3 years that didn't love you! Thats a big problem as far as I see it. Even if he "truly does love you underneath it all" as we can all hope for, the point is he is either ... (read in full...)
Is this heavy petting and will it lead to sex?
Q. My boyfriend whom i have been together for 2 months want to touch my breast and vagina when we are french kissing. Should I allow him to do that? Is that considered heavy petting and if I agreed to it will that be leading him on to sex?...
A. 25 April 2010: Relationships usually involve being intimate, yes, so they naturally lead to sex. If you dont want sex or kissing or being intimate you are only being friends and not boyfriend/girlfriend.
However, if you want to wait until marriage with havi... (read in full...)
Ways to make my online dating add stand out?
Q. Hi, firstly the problem i have is i like a more mature women mentally that is, my idea of a night out is not to go to a club and get wasted (To me this is something i'd do with the lads, Not my gf, im not saying i wouldnt do it im just saying its ...
A. 24 April 2010: There is a solid difference between being honest and being rude. If you can't tell the difference I agree it is best for you to be "mysterious" as you put it. Being honest means: don't tell lies and be upfront. If all you want is a shag, rude as it ... (read in full...)
I dreamt I had a penis and had sex with a woman! Why does this all mean?
Q. This is a really personal dream. I mean – I feel weird about being open about this but I really want to know what it meant… Before I begin, anyone reading this should understand that I’m female in real life. I’m heterosexual. And yes, I've had a ...
A. 23 April 2010: Heheh, TimmD Im a dream interpreter so you and I are complete opposites.
It is hard to tell you what this dream means though, as it is one with a lot of symbolism. Lets start with how you did not feel like a man. That is evidence that you stil... (read in full...)
I'm not in love with her but she doesn't want an abortion.. I don't want to hurt her.
Q. ok here goes. im from scotland and i got my american girlfriend pregnant. at the moment both of us are living and working in south korea ware we met about 7 months ago. our contracts run out in august and she wants me to move to america with her. i...
A. 23 April 2010: Tell her the truth about how you feel about her. ... (read in full...)
Am I being ripped off at the moment, or is this how couples operate?
Q. 2 years ago I moved in with my boyfriend (we have now been together 5 years) and he owns the house. I pay half of the mortgage but it is as rent, I have no legal claim to the property. I also pay half the utility bills and taxes. However I have...
A. 23 April 2010: Hey, Im in kinda the similar situation as you. I want you to think about something. Your boyfriend could also be renting somewhere else and have a lot less to pay! But he bought a house and you willingly moved in. If you rented somewhere would it be ... (read in full...)
Work colleagues don't care that I'm ill!
Q. I'm probably going to be told to grow up and get over myself but it's made me feel even more down. I've been off work for 4 days with the flu- ok, no big deal, i'll live! But what's upset me us that not 1 of my colleagues has bothered to txt me ...
A. 23 April 2010: Maybe you are the only one out of the groups of friendly colleagues who text the others when they are sick? ... (read in full...)
He won't tell me what STI I'm supposed to get treatment for!
Q. hi everyone l real need some advice.l had sex with my bf and after 1 week he send me an a sms saying that l infected him with some kind of sickness l must go for a treatment. l went to de clinic to get help then the nurse told me that they can...
A. 23 April 2010: That sounds odd, the clinic should be able to test you for absolutely anything. But naturally, the most common ones should be tested first if you are not sure what you have. However if it's a not so common one it can take a lot of testing and a lot ... (read in full...)
He says he sometimes can't be himself around me...what on earth does he mean?!
Q. My relationship is good, at home my boyfriend is great to me and we've been together 6 years. But when we go out, there's the problem. He recently told me that he can't be himself when I'm around - he can be more rude and talk to who he wants. I'm ...
A. 23 April 2010: "I arrived to at a club to see him and all our friends, and he said he felt 'obliged' to come over and greet me."
He is obliged. Its one of the sides of being a good boyfriend, you dont ignore your girlfriend. If he has a problem with this he ... (read in full...)
Help!!! Is she just not interested in me any more...?
Q. My girl hasn't made love to me in over four months and this has never happened before. She allows me to make love to her but she doesn't return the love. Is she using me? or is she just not interested in me anymore? I am so confused. Also I ha...
A. 23 April 2010: If you have been with her for 4 years why aren't you living together yet? Why haven't you proposed yet? You dont want to be married? Im just saying after 4 years I would think it was natural that couples took steps to get closer, yet she is still ... (read in full...)
What's the best way of telling my parents I am pregnant?
Q. hi guys, ive just found out that im pregnant and i want to tell my parents but am scared that they will be dissapointed in me. How can i help them understand that its what i want to do. ...
A. 23 April 2010: You should call them then, or arrange a webcam conversation so they can see your face. And then when you tell them say "I have GREAT news!!" and then go on. At least then they will know this is what you wanted and hopefully can be happy for you. ... (read in full...)
Could my girlfriend have got pregnant?
Q. Hi there, I am really scared so let me just get right too it. My girlfriend and I were in the shower messing around...and she lathered me up with soap so I was nice a nd slick then jerked me off...I came on her side. I didn't really pay attention ...
A. 23 April 2010: Haha, Tisha I was thinking about that video as I answred this question, I watched your link earlier one time and it is quite entertaining and educational.
So to make this a meaningful post: you should all watch the video and learn about how wome... (read in full...)
Our bet to see how could go without sex the longest!
Q. My boyfriend and I made a bet to see who can go without sex the longest. It is stupid but I just lost my virginity to him and he thinks I'm addicted and always want it. His conditions if he wins is he's using restraints more than once, gettings bjs ...
A. 23 April 2010: Silly bet. If you have a problem in the bedroom it will not be solved by this as you will still have a problem with him buying you things and you will still have a problem with him saying you are a sex addict.
If there is mutual rspect and admi... (read in full...)
Will I look back and regret sleeping with a 46 year old man?
Q. Hi, thanks for your time, I'm 17 and the guy I'm having casual sex with is man who is 46, with the benifit of hindsight will I look back and think what he is doing is wrong? It's just a pattern I've noticed throught life, as I get older I look bac...
A. 23 April 2010: Im not a guy and nowhere near his age, but I look at guys at 17 as babies. Not to say I didn't enjoy a taste, but they are considered toys. Nothing serious. Of course there's the oddball of true love despite age. But I think the general thought is: ... (read in full...)
How can I stop his wandering eye?
Q. hello.. I am married and i know my husband loves me and we have good times together but i get insecure when i find my husband looking at women who dont look all that great but their neckline is low or wearing short skirts and I am ok that my husband ...
A. 23 April 2010: I dont think there's anything you can do. Theres something he can do. But probably this is subconcious, like the way I catch myself watching my reflection in the windows I walk by. Its horrible because I must look so conceited so I try to stop, but ... (read in full...)
My husband's bipolar and PTSD, watches porn more than alot, and nothing I do is good enough..
Q. the bottom line question is Where do I go with my marriage and how much more do I put up with? So here is the background leading into that question My husband and i have been together for 10 years and 9 of them have not been easy. The first...
A. 23 April 2010: How long since he has been diagnosed? Is he on medication? As he is unemployed due to a mentall illness he should be offered some financiel help from the government, at least I believe he is entitled to. But I am not sure how it is from state to ... (read in full...)
Ways to make my online dating add stand out?
Q. Hi, firstly the problem i have is i like a more mature women mentally that is, my idea of a night out is not to go to a club and get wasted (To me this is something i'd do with the lads, Not my gf, im not saying i wouldnt do it im just saying its ...
A. 23 April 2010: Brute honesty always caught my eye and kept me interested. Vague people bore me and also makes me think they are insecure or must be hiding something.
So the best thing I feel is if you can be upfront and honest about things. Be upfront about ex... (read in full...)
Our first sex toy - any advice?
Q. Hi, I'm new to this site and just wanted to introduce myself and ask a question. Recently me and my partner have been having alot of sex, and we wanted to make things more interesting. Like bringing sex toys into the bedroom. Neither of us h...
A. 23 April 2010: Go for a simple vibrator. That will guarantee you both pleasure. The guy can get pleasure from the vibration as well. Here's how I use some of mine: you can use it while giving him a blowjob, press the vibrator gently against his shaft while you ... (read in full...)
I can't bear the thought that I've reached the age of 19 with zero experience.
Q. Ok so i asked a question here a couple of days ago. The thing is im 19 and a virgin still, and i feel really worried and down over it. The people who answered were great and it helped but i think they thought i was just obsessed with sex and losing ...
A. 23 April 2010: I was recently in a lenghty discussion that I think you might want to look into. Although you don't share her views, I believe you might find it comforting.
http:... (read in full...)
Should I call off my wedding to a man who finds me unattractive?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we're engaged and getting married this summer but lately he's been acting weird towards me he complains about my weight he tells me that I'm not attractive anymore, the sex is awesome, he wants it all ...
A. 23 April 2010: If he tells you he isn't attracted to you, you shouldn't marry him. He is putting you down for who knows what reason, and it is a red flag. If he wasn't attracted to you he'd leave you, or talk to you about what is causing the problem and want to ... (read in full...)
How can I help my obese wife who won't help herself?
Q. I'm having serious issues right now... I have been married almost 3 years. My wife and I have been together since middle school except for 3 years after high school when we broke up and dated other people. When we first got back together, all of ...
A. 23 April 2010: Have you had a serious duscussion with her about it or is the matter taboo? Before you let all this frustration and resentment build up in you she deserves a chance to hear your thoughts, so that she knows how you feel. If you are hiding your ... (read in full...)
Could my girlfriend have got pregnant?
Q. Hi there, I am really scared so let me just get right too it. My girlfriend and I were in the shower messing around...and she lathered me up with soap so I was nice a nd slick then jerked me off...I came on her side. I didn't really pay attention ...
A. 23 April 2010: I am not a doctor but I do think that you might have to wait until the next month to see, because sperm can live in the body for several days. Although it is unlikely that she will be pregnant. She's about to have her period which is a time with ... (read in full...)
Partner says he'll give me more sex if I dye my hair!!!
Q. My partner says if I dye my hair blonde, he will give me more sex but I don't want to dye my hair. He watches a fair amount of porn by the way, which I think interferes with our sex life already. But should I leave him or adapt?...
A. 23 April 2010: Are you sure thats what he said and meant, and that he wasn't just joking? It would be so hurtful if you did dye your hair only to hear him say he liked you better with dark hair.
No you should not dye your hair for his sake. You should do it on... (read in full...)
How can I tell him rough sex hurts sometimes???
Q. Me and my boyfriend are in a relationship of 3 years, we have sex very often, all the time he likes having rough sex and I don't know how to tell him that he hurts me sometimes without making him feel bad? What do I say?...
A. 23 April 2010: "Ouch!"... (read in full...)
I love him as a person but there's no sexual spark!
Q. Is it right to stay with someone who you love very much as a person, but the sexual spark isn't there? I love him and want him to be happy. I know my being with him makes him happy, but he is happy with me just being there. I want so much more, like ...
A. 23 April 2010: Are you sure the sex has slowed down because he feels inadequate? Have you discussed this with him? I feel that in a relationship, when something is wrong, the one partner has the right to bring it up for calm discussion. And that the other person ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to show off my new body?
Q. I am a girl that was 25 pounds overweight. I have been working out and have lost the weight and am in the best shape of my life. Summer is coming and I have purchased some skimpy clothes, such as short shorts, micro miniskirts, tubetops, and some ...
A. 22 April 2010: Sure. If you got it flaunt it. I know I would. ... (read in full...)
Is taking a break a good idea for a relationship?
Q. *Op's own title* My relationship has reached a point where I am very vulnerable to cheating on my girlfriend. The truth is that she didn't take care of me (and she acknowledges it) and avoided the subject for far too long. After our conv...
A. 22 April 2010: If you do take a break make sure to not have sexual contact with anyone during this break. The break is for you to think about your relationship, not to have a moment of freedom to have sex with other women. If you want other women you should break ... (read in full...)
Home sick from work and mom has all these chores for me!
Q. Morning all. This is probably trivial but it's made me so angry I would like to pick your brains! I called in sick today at work because I am unwell, I have a horrendous cough which I've thrown up with and a very sore throat. All week I been str...
A. 22 April 2010: If it's your troath that is hurting I dont see the problem with doing physical work. And she's not asking you to do heavy labour, its just the dishwasher... I don't even have a dishwasher. I have to wash all my things by hand. Sorry but thats not ... (read in full...)
Should I really have a baby with this kind of man?
Q. am having a problem with my boyfriend,we are for ever arguing even if its a small mistake that comes up. he just got rude with me since he found out that i cheated on him. sometimes he even just want to beat me while he also cheats with other ...
A. 22 April 2010: You avoid the arguments by avoiding this man. There is too much wrongdoings here, you cheated on him and he cheats on you. In addition you fight and he beats you. You should both leave each other and find someone new to treat better. The fights will ... (read in full...)
Do I need the morning after pill? Or am I protected?
Q. Hey all quick question involving my contraceptive pill, im a bit confused with the information given. I take the contraceptive pill yasmin, and i started taking my first pill on saturday after my seven week break. Yesterday i went out on the town ...
A. 22 April 2010: You took another pill so you should be protected. ... (read in full...)
How do I make myself seem sick so I don't have to go visit his family?
Q. I am supposed to go up north (Michigan) with my boyfriend's dads side of the family. i don't want to go because he has never been close with them and it's uncomfortable. The last time i went i had a horrible time. I want to make my boyfriend think i ...
A. 22 April 2010: If your boyfriens is excited about this I think you owe it to him to go and be supportive. Especially if he's not that close to them. Did you ever think that the reason he is excited might be because you will come along and he has you there by him ... (read in full...)
How long till I'm fully protected?
Q. Hi. I've recently just started re-taking microgynon 30. I used to take it a few months ago, but have only just been allowed to continue it, as I've been ill. I started the first packet yesterday - but it was after my period (the week before) had ...
A. 22 April 2010: Leaflets inside the package can be outdated as well from what I've heard, but the best thing is for you to ask your doctor. I think one week sounds correct though, and thats the "rule" I live by. Im on microgynon myself. ... (read in full...)
I'm 18, she's 14 and may be pregnant. Could her dad file charges?
Q. I'm 18 and she is 14 turning 15 in less than two months she might be pregnant?Her mom has legal custody her dad doesn't,does that mean only her mom can determine whether to press charges,but her mom is okay with me and her daughter.Help me? what do ...
A. 22 April 2010: Make sure if she is pregnant or not first. ... (read in full...)
Flat mate got me pregnant, dumped me, and moved away!
Q. i have a problem. i live in a flat and theres this guy who used to live there. im 17 and he's 21. we had sex a few times and now i might be pregnant. i fell in love with him really quick. but then he dropped me and now hes moved away :(. i dont know ...
A. 22 April 2010: Get a pregnancy test before you say you are pregnant. You don't know yet. I dont want to point any fingers at you but I hope you have learned a lesson. First use protection if you at all have sex. Then second don't rush into things. I hope you are ... (read in full...)
Is this heavy petting and will it lead to sex?
Q. My boyfriend whom i have been together for 2 months want to touch my breast and vagina when we are french kissing. Should I allow him to do that? Is that considered heavy petting and if I agreed to it will that be leading him on to sex?...
A. 22 April 2010: I think you could qualify that as heavy petting, although I've never heard the term "heavy petting" before. I think it most definitely will lead to sex since you are allowing him one step closer. If you do not want to have sex with him be clear on ... (read in full...)
I love him as a person but there's no sexual spark!
Q. Is it right to stay with someone who you love very much as a person, but the sexual spark isn't there? I love him and want him to be happy. I know my being with him makes him happy, but he is happy with me just being there. I want so much more, like ...
A. 19 April 2010: He's not giving you what you want. Have you told him what you want and asked him to go to festivals with you? In a relationship it is actually good for one partner to be more quiet and the other outgoing. It balances the relationship, so that you ... (read in full...)
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