| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
|
All of his exs are on facebook..should he delete them?
Q. My partner and I are having problems. Relationship problems. We have been together nearly 10 yrs and have broke up once 2 yrs ago by his choice. At that time he promptly married. To make a long story short he decided he loved me again and wanted ...
A. 30 April 2010: Well, for what it's worth, it's not fair of him to expect you to not talk to your ex's when he gets to talk to his. Eye for an eye.
I understand some of where you are coming from, at least the times I've felt similar myself I wished the person i... (read in full...)
Weird fantasy???
Q. Hello, thanks for your time! I'm 18 and in a long distance (Leeds to London) relationship with a man who is 45, he travels down every other weekend, it's been over a year we've been together now... To spice things up some more we decided we'd admit ...
A. 30 April 2010: He's not violent, he's just sharing his fantasies. ... (read in full...)
I really hope this doesn't mean I'm asexual
Q. There's something strange going on in my brain O_o. I posted a question here about a month ago asking about sexuality and I said that even though I had always liked boys, I had lost interest in them and now liked girls, I wanted to know if my ...
A. 30 April 2010: Or, there is a third option! Perhaps you dont have crushes on anyone atm, or find anyone sexually attractive, because you haven't met the right person yet! Your tastes could just be different from others, and mr. or ms. dreamy haven't made an ... (read in full...)
No one remembers his birthday, should I greet him?
Q. Probably this question has been posted many times but I just missed the chance to read it. Last month, I told my ex that I prefer if we stop communicating. I have always asked him before but he would just pop out again about a week or two. But...
A. 30 April 2010: No, dont send him a greeting. No contact rule is in force and he needs to get over you. Sending him a note will just hurt him more as he is reminded that the only one who remembers is his ex. Thats not gonna make him feel good. And if it does make ... (read in full...)
I like the wrong guy?!
Q. Okay, there are two potential boyfriends in my life: Guy A and Guy B. Guy A is totally perverted, kind of mean, but pretty good-looking. Guy B is really, really nice, smart, religious, outgoing, fun, and, on paper, my soul mate. The thing is, I like ...
A. 30 April 2010: Both. Accept that there i sno chemistry, and don't get involved with guy B. But get to know him better and keep him around as a friend if you can? Just, be careful and not lead him on. We can't help much with who we fall in love with, who we get the ... (read in full...)
She says she doesn't want to be FWB but isn't that what we are??
Q. How do I figure this girl out, before I start I have to say that I am a typical young bloke who is very open and honest. I am very attracted to a girl I work with and we have worked together for about 4 years, we flirt all the time, I was stra...
A. 30 April 2010: Well if you like her and want more you have to make a committment to her! She's just being as honest as you are. And no you are not yet FBW, as she wont let you touch her/go down on her or anything, and she wont do more for you. It sounds like she ... (read in full...)
Boob jobs usually end in divorce?
Q. Hi all, enjoyed the site so I thought I would join and ask a few "burning questions" to hear what a different group thinks. Please bear with me, I'm not trying to come across as accusing ANYONE of anything with this question/stateme...
A. 30 April 2010: Well, I see it as a tricky thing to calculate. Because like marieclarie said, it's not the actual surgery that makes them leave, it has to be another factor in their lives. And then this other factor is what drives them to want the surgery, and also ... (read in full...)
All of his exs are on facebook..should he delete them?
Q. My partner and I are having problems. Relationship problems. We have been together nearly 10 yrs and have broke up once 2 yrs ago by his choice. At that time he promptly married. To make a long story short he decided he loved me again and wanted ...
A. 29 April 2010: You take the man you take his past too. You can't erase them from his past no matter how inconvenient they are or ho wmuch they bother you. And even so I find it a bit unfair to not let the siblings meet each other. But if they have no interest in ... (read in full...)
All of his exs are on facebook..should he delete them?
Q. My partner and I are having problems. Relationship problems. We have been together nearly 10 yrs and have broke up once 2 yrs ago by his choice. At that time he promptly married. To make a long story short he decided he loved me again and wanted ...
A. 29 April 2010: You take the man you take his past too. You can't erase them from his past no matter how inconvenient they are or ho wmuch they bother you. And even so I find it a bit unfair to not let the siblings meet each other. But if they have no interest in ... (read in full...)
Why does he ask me these strange questions in bed?
Q. I have been in a relationship for almost 1 year with my guy. We both have previous marriages and have dealt with a lot of "Drama" from both sides over the past year. Our sex life is great! Every night.. and sometimes more than once in a night. ...
A. 29 April 2010: I think you should ask him to stop asking you these questions. Based on him getting jealous in the past, it sounds like he is digging for reasons to get jealous again. It's like he's asking you to screw up so he has something to crisify you over. ... (read in full...)
He says he'll come back if I kick my brother and his girlfriend out!
Q. me and my ex partner got back together five months ago, after seperating two years before when our son was born. the relationship endend badly last time as he cheated on me time and time again and as much as i wanted to be with him i couldnt take it ...
A. 29 April 2010: Raiders, no mean to pick a fight, but I have to point out the elephant in the room here that seems to go unnoticed. You wrote that "he is the one that messed up and in my eyes he has no right to demand". I must ask: exactly WHAT has he messed up? He ... (read in full...)
Are his actions justified by my cheating?
Q. Hi, so ive been seeing this guy for a few months now and about a month ago i cheated on him with my ex. i felt so bad afterwards and expected it to be over but he didnt leave me. hes 19 and im 16 btw. then.... last weekend i did it again. i ...
A. 28 April 2010: As long as you stay with this man this is how it is. And he even told you he was going to be that way, and you willingly walked back. Justified or not, he told you this is the deal and you accepted. ... (read in full...)
He says he'll come back if I kick my brother and his girlfriend out!
Q. me and my ex partner got back together five months ago, after seperating two years before when our son was born. the relationship endend badly last time as he cheated on me time and time again and as much as i wanted to be with him i couldnt take it ...
A. 28 April 2010: Im just saying... even your mother kicked him out. Your own mother. May we ask how old your brother and his girlfriend are and if they have jobs? Do they make money? And what do they do with this money? They've certainly never paid rent, thats for ... (read in full...)
He says he'll come back if I kick my brother and his girlfriend out!
Q. me and my ex partner got back together five months ago, after seperating two years before when our son was born. the relationship endend badly last time as he cheated on me time and time again and as much as i wanted to be with him i couldnt take it ...
A. 28 April 2010: If your brother has a girlfriend why can't he stay at her place? Or start taking rent. As for your boyfriend, where is he sleeping when he's not with you? You said he'd been with this other girl, so he doesn't really have a place for himself either? ... (read in full...)
I sent a rose and chocolates to him and got no response!
Q. I work in a hospital on a temporary basis and I had fancied a Doctor who works in a clinic where I have worked a few times. He never spoke to me before but I caught him looking at me several times and once smiling while looking at my body up and ...
A. 28 April 2010: Was he your "boss" or superior in any way? Relationships like that are often not allowed. Also it was a bit out of work-professionality. Maybe you misunderstood him and he wasn't interested in you at all, and now just feel bothered by the entire ... (read in full...)
Why does sex hurt so much? Is it him?
Q. Hey all just a quick question. Im 19 and 4 months ago i got with my current boyfriend after talking to him for a half a year, i dont know whether this may help but im only 5ft 1 and of a petite build, where he's 5'11, very muscley, and jus...
A. 28 April 2010: Yikes I just remembered! I recently bought some lube (as I am get bothered by dryness) and to my horror the new lube I got burned like s¤%t. It had menthol in it. It could be that I was already a little sore when I put it on (I wanted to add it ... (read in full...)
We have a child together but she says we can't have a relationship until I'm 'saved'
Q. Hi I'm confused in my relationship and not sure were it is going. My girlfriend and I met about 18months ago, she had three children to her previous partner, and we now have a child of our own, which I'm real happy for. We love other a lot ...
A. 28 April 2010: I can't help you much to be honest, I am just curious as to why she would want to have a child with you, and seemingly be in an active relationship with you for 18 months, then suddenly wont have a relationship with you anymore? Did she consider ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone that I am starting to have feelings for other guys?
Q. Hey I'm going through puberty and I'm only starting though I'm starting to have feelings for...guys! I am seriously starting to freak out I started having feelings for girls but not anymore I don't feel turned on looking at boobs 0% ! I started to ...
A. 28 April 2010: What are your parents suspicious about? And why do you wish you didn't tell your friend? ... (read in full...)
What do I do? Everything seems to be falling apart, in spite of how much I love her...
Q. Hitting a very rough patch :( This is more of an account than an actual question but I'll appreciate any feedback that can be given. So I've reached a point where my gf is having serious doubts about our future together which is really saddening...
A. 28 April 2010: "Have you ever done something so crazy as leave your old life, family and friends behind to pursue a dream in another country? A dream that involves being with the woman that you really love?"
Uhm, yeah. I currently am. Moved continents to with ... (read in full...)
I want to move to a better life, but I don't want to lose everyone I know
Q. **for the last several months my sister and i have been planning to move to north carolina, the plan was she was leaving in july with her husband and kids and i was going in december. i was very excited to leave and start a new life, away from all ...
A. 28 April 2010: I am sorry, I misread and thought you were a male, my bad. But my advice still counts :)... (read in full...)
I want to move to a better life, but I don't want to lose everyone I know
Q. **for the last several months my sister and i have been planning to move to north carolina, the plan was she was leaving in july with her husband and kids and i was going in december. i was very excited to leave and start a new life, away from all ...
A. 28 April 2010: "i have always had my mom to pick up my broken pieces and when i move i won't have mommy anymore to help me with every little thing." It is seriously about time to cut the cord, you are a grown man and have to learn how to pick up your own pieces. ... (read in full...)
Why didn't I bleed after losing my virginity? My boyfriend doesn't believe me now!
Q. am a virgin i had sex for the first time with my boyfriend and no bleeding and now my boyfriend think am not a virgin he thinks that i have had sex with somelse. but i know am a virgin , i swear, and don't know why no bleedig i really need help...
A. 28 April 2010: Not all virgins bleed and your boyfriend is being an ass-hat. ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling different and bi-curious since losing my virginity
Q. hey everyone, ive been totally feeling different ever since i lost my virginity. heres how it started, i went on this 1 mobile chat site and met up with this 1 woman. we went to her place and... did it. she was nice and kind but its just that sex ...
A. 28 April 2010: I think you feel that way because you just became sexually active and you wish to explore! Happens to most people. Also, I think you felt disappointed because you really didn't want just sex with a woman you barely knew, you wanted something more. ... (read in full...)
How do I go from 60 to 0?
Q. Hello everyone. I'm just going to get to the point. I can't seem to go long without sex or beating off. I want to stop doing both. All answers are appreciated. Thanks....
A. 28 April 2010: I believe the only thing you can do is just stop. It has to be a choice you make every day, every time you feel the urge. Everytime you feel you want to do it start cleaning the house for example, or find something else to occupy yourself with.
... (read in full...)
How do I get the dye out of my hair?!!
Q. Help plz! A few weeks ago I asked or rather told my bf I want to dye my hair, he said that I was being silly a few days after I brought the same thing up then he yelled at me and said I'm being silly and his not boss .. Well then I dyed my hair, I ...
A. 28 April 2010: Yepp, just dye it back to a darker colour. But 6 weeks isn't long and yes it will wash out if it is not permanent. Just wash your hair as usual. But your hair might be of a different texture after the dye as it is a chemical prosess that damages the ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to get rid of all my pictures and letters from my former girlfriend who died in my arms, is she in the wrong here?
Q. I have been dating a young woman for a few months. She is very sweet and I care very much for her. She came over to my apartment when I wasn't home yesterday and my room mate let her in. She went into my room and found an old year book I had ...
A. 28 April 2010: I dont think you should get rid of the pictures. I'd love to have pictures of friends of mine who are now dead, to remember them. I feel sorry that I dont, and that asking for pictures now would just be too weird, and I dont even know their families ... (read in full...)
What does she mean by telling me to stop being awkward?
Q. what does it mean when a girl says, 'stop being awkward around me, I dont want you to feel awkward, I Dont want you to be awkward the next time we meet, if you carry on being awkward you've got no chance. I can understand you met me in a wkward ...
A. 28 April 2010: I think it sounds like she wants you to be different from what you are and can't accept that this is how you really act around people.
And after reading that other post of yours, she does not strike me as someone Id like to meet. In fact I think ... (read in full...)
What does she mean by telling me to stop being awkward?
Q. what does it mean when a girl says, 'stop being awkward around me, I dont want you to feel awkward, I Dont want you to be awkward the next time we meet, if you carry on being awkward you've got no chance. I can understand you met me in a wkward ...
A. 28 April 2010: I think it sounds like she wants you to be different from what you are and can't accept that this is how you really act around people. ... (read in full...)
I am confused about my sexual identity and feel so alone! Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I am 23 years old male. I am an exremely shy and confused person. I have been diagnosed with depression, borderline personality disorder and an eating disorder. Some of my problems are sexual one of which is sex feels wrong to me and I'm af...
A. 28 April 2010: Did you tell your doctor about this? Since you have been diagnosed with both depression and borderline (bipolar right?) personality disorder they should be aware that you were also sexually asaulted as a child. The classical thing to think here is ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone that I am starting to have feelings for other guys?
Q. Hey I'm going through puberty and I'm only starting though I'm starting to have feelings for...guys! I am seriously starting to freak out I started having feelings for girls but not anymore I don't feel turned on looking at boobs 0% ! I started to ...
A. 28 April 2010: You might start to fancy your friends, but if you do just keep it to yourself. There are several people out there straight and gay, that fall for their friends. So until you know for a fact that you are head over heels it is usually best to keep it ... (read in full...)
Why does sex hurt so much? Is it him?
Q. Hey all just a quick question. Im 19 and 4 months ago i got with my current boyfriend after talking to him for a half a year, i dont know whether this may help but im only 5ft 1 and of a petite build, where he's 5'11, very muscley, and jus...
A. 28 April 2010: After an hour of penetration I think most women would feel sore. I know I do. I have a problem with drying out if it gets "boring". Just penetration isn't enough to keep me wet and moist, and when I dry out the friction becomes too much. Your ... (read in full...)
Are my dreams guiding me to be with her, or misleading me?
Q. I've been having dreams this past week about a girl I like; all which has been consecutive. She is one of my good friends who lives down the hall in the dorms. In the dreams, we are usually just hanging out doing whatever. Over each dream I have, we ...
A. 28 April 2010: I think you are dreaming of this happening with her because you want that type for relationship. Your dreams are telling you of your desires and wishes right now, and you wish for this relationship. I think the dream is just using this girl as an ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have sex, but I don't. What can I do?
Q. well im 16 my boyfriend want to have sex whith me and i keep telling him am not ready and he keeps asking...
A. 28 April 2010: Dump him if he can't respect your boundaries. ... (read in full...)
'I think whoever you sleep with, you should let it happen'... what does she mean?
Q. Hi when I was in bed with the girl I was dating and we was cuddeling and stuff she said to me 'I think whoever you sleep with, you should let it happen' what does she mean by this?...
A. 28 April 2010: I have no idea. Did you ask her? Was she drunk? Sounds like silly talk, try not to take it so seriously. I think she just meant to say she wants to sleep with you, but it came out in a rather awkward way. ... (read in full...)
My crush is crushing on the class crush!
Q. I am in love with this pretty girl in my class. We've known each other for a year and hung out together a couple of times. Unfortunately, there's one of these smooth-talking politician types who is always telling jokes and acting fake. He already ...
A. 28 April 2010: Stop laughing with him if you think he is a bastard? And honestly if your crush is falling for a fake she's not that bright and you'd probably need to keep watching her all the time not knowing whom else she'd fall for when you're not looking.
... (read in full...)
How do I get over these dreams of my ex? What do they mean and how can I stop them?
Q. I broke up with my ex of 1.75 years a month ago. To be honest, I think we still loved each other (at least I still loved him), but I wasn't really a priority to him anymore. I was always left in the dust, and I don't think he was really ready for a ...
A. 28 April 2010: 175 years is a long time to be with someones... haha, sorry for the joke but I had to stare at that number for a while! Also the reference to leaving you in the dust had me thinking of vampires (in these vampire days).
Well, back to your question... (read in full...)
Thoughts of sex taking over my life.
Q. im absolutly desperate! i feel like if i don't f*ck a girl im going to explode. ive tried watching porn and masturbating( im doing it right now!)and its starting to stop working. im not a pervert or anything but in school i have sex senarios with ...
A. 28 April 2010: Is this at a stage where it is taking over your life and you have no control? Perhaps talk to your doctor about it. It is emberrassing, but you would get help if you need it, and reassurance that you are normal if that is so.
On the other no... (read in full...)
Is their brother-sister relationship abnormal?
Q. Brother- Sister situation My boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because- 1. They don't mind walking in to each other when one of them is actually using the bathroom like in the tub...
A. 28 April 2010: I hope that is a big bed and they only share because they have no other beds?
This doesn't sound shocking though. Unusual among grown-ups, but perhaps not so unusual between close siblings. They probably view each other as friends and not woma... (read in full...)
How do I get over my want of a threesome?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 6 years now and would like to have a threesome with my girlfriend. She does not want to. i also like looking at porn and chatting on the net and understandably this upsets her. she says the threesome(watching porn ...
A. 28 April 2010: YOu weight out what you gain with what you loose. Which one do you want the most? Then once you have made your decision you must stick to it.
Hardly anyone get to do everything they want. For many reasons. We must find ways to deal with our crav... (read in full...)
Painful Pap Smear Test
Q. I had my first smear test today - it didnt go well the nurse started and then said it would be easier if i come back to see the doctor. Im now booked in next week. The problem is it really hurt and i dont want to go back! I know how important it...
A. 27 April 2010: Not sexually active, but you have had sex before right?
"There is little or no benefit to screening women who have not had sexual contact. HPV can be transmitted in sex between women, so women who have only had sex with other women should b... (read in full...)
After almost 3 years he says he likes me alot but doesn't love me "YET"???!!
Q. Ok so I have a question. I am 21 years old and he is 24 I have been with this guy for almost 3 years. I would think he loves me but when I ask him he always says he is not in love with me. He always says he really likes me a lot but he does not...
A. 27 April 2010: Not everything makes sense or has a cosmic meaning. Just let it go. ... (read in full...)
After almost 3 years he says he likes me alot but doesn't love me "YET"???!!
Q. Ok so I have a question. I am 21 years old and he is 24 I have been with this guy for almost 3 years. I would think he loves me but when I ask him he always says he is not in love with me. He always says he really likes me a lot but he does not...
A. 26 April 2010: I dont think you made a mistake. You had a problem: you were witha guy for 3 years that didn't love you! Thats a big problem as far as I see it. Even if he "truly does love you underneath it all" as we can all hope for, the point is he is either ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
