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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I don't want to like big women anymore!
Q. Okay people, I have a serious problem, I like bigger girls, like huge girls, and even making them gain weight for my pleasure, for some reason I find them highly attractive, but I don't like this attraction, I am also afraid my family would ridicule ...
A. 21 July 2011: So screw your family. Honestly, life is too short to care about what others will think. ... (read in full...)
Is it safe? Or am I getting paranoid about accidently getting pregnant?
Q. Ok, so two of the guys I've slept with can't figure out why I have to jump up and stop them before they put their fingers inside me after they just came and, long story short, got a little bit or even a lot of come on their hands. And if I was blow...
A. 13 July 2011: I think they might have tried to deliberately kept sperm alive outside the body then. I have a friend who studies medicine and I happened to mention this question to her, and she said the same as I did. It can survive minutes only. And only when ... (read in full...)
I don't want to like big women anymore!
Q. Okay people, I have a serious problem, I like bigger girls, like huge girls, and even making them gain weight for my pleasure, for some reason I find them highly attractive, but I don't like this attraction, I am also afraid my family would ridicule ...
A. 9 July 2011: Here's an idea. Wait until you are out of puberty and then see what happens over the years. You're still in the middle of developing who you are, your tastes probably fly all over the place. So take your time, relax, and just let what happens ... (read in full...)
Is it safe? Or am I getting paranoid about accidently getting pregnant?
Q. Ok, so two of the guys I've slept with can't figure out why I have to jump up and stop them before they put their fingers inside me after they just came and, long story short, got a little bit or even a lot of come on their hands. And if I was blow...
A. 1 July 2011: If he hasn't been getting sperm on his hands his hands wont be able to make you pregnant... Thats what I don't understand here. If you use a condom, then how would the sperm end up on his fingers? I've had sex in my life, but never ended up in that ... (read in full...)
Nice Guys
Q. Nice guys- a lot of us have overlooked them, rejected them, or simply ignored them. Then, we become interested and they're married. So, it's like a chick flick scene where a pretty girl tells her nice guy admirer that he's too much like a brother ...
A. 1 July 2011: Rockshedder what is your point? Do you want me to start a list over all the great sides of myself as well and ask why on earth nice guys don't approach me? Everyone could do that, try not to take this personal.
When I hunt down my men I take the... (read in full...)
I feel I should also sleep with someone else while I'm single to get this out of my system.
Q. Im a in a real bad moral situation that i cannot seem to make a decision on. I had a 5 year relationship with a girl who i love dearly. We started growing distant and she broke up with me on the day my dog died. It was a real heartache and i asked ...
A. 29 June 2011: I have an idea. If I was in your shoes this is how I'd feel, and Im wondering that maybe you feel the same way, but haven't figured out how to put words on it. So here it goes, maybe you agree with me and maybe you don't.
If this happened to me, I... (read in full...)
So confused if I still love him or not?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a full 7 months now and we will be going on out 8th, its not crazy long but I knew when we first got involved in about 3 months time that I loved or love him but I am realizing that now I am feeling not so sure ...
A. 29 June 2011: There's a classic saying that women fall in love when spending time with their partner, and men fall in love when spending time apart from their partner. Or something up the lines of that.
What it means is that the more time you spend with him... (read in full...)
Is it safe? Or am I getting paranoid about accidently getting pregnant?
Q. Ok, so two of the guys I've slept with can't figure out why I have to jump up and stop them before they put their fingers inside me after they just came and, long story short, got a little bit or even a lot of come on their hands. And if I was blow...
A. 29 June 2011: This is overly paranoid. What are you afraid of? Your uterus carries the eggs, not your hands. Sperm on your hands, or on the hands of your partner, is harmless.
It might be you have a phobia against getting sperm in contact with hands?
However... (read in full...)
I don't want to like big women anymore!
Q. Okay people, I have a serious problem, I like bigger girls, like huge girls, and even making them gain weight for my pleasure, for some reason I find them highly attractive, but I don't like this attraction, I am also afraid my family would ridicule ...
A. 29 June 2011: I don't think there is anything you can do really. You are who you are, you like what you like. If you don't like broccoli, and love chocolate, what can you do? If you don't want to eat chocolate, and force yourself to eat broccoli, sure, do that ... (read in full...)
I'm 14, he's 21. Can we take this relationship any further?
Q. so i met this guy on the spot (a dating site on the ipod touch) and we've been talking,video chatting, and texting for 2 months now. well, 2 weeks after we started talking, he told me that he was 21 and in the airforce. the problem is, im 14. he ...
A. 29 June 2011: Wait until you are old enough. Has he told you how he feels about your age? The age difference can be overcome, but only if you wait another 4 years. ... (read in full...)
He thought he had found proof that I was bi
Q. My fiance asked if he could play with my ipod at work (he likes this bird game and scrabble lol) I told him it was fine with me,he took it to work and then 5 hrs later He is saying "we need to talk" I texted him "why?" and he told me he found a half ...
A. 29 June 2011: This is bad.. what horrible behaviour! I am not sure, was this the only time it happened? Have you been together for long? How often does he have episodes like this?
I'd consider leaving him to be honest, because this is bad. He has no right in... (read in full...)
What's the deal with guys and big boobs?
Q. What is it about big boobs that guys like so much? I have small breasts, small waist and a big, round butt! My friends tell me I have a great body and that I should be proud, but there's something I don't get. I don't seem to receive that much ...
A. 29 June 2011: Guys like larger boobs because it's more to grab on to. Basically. And it is feminine, but so are curves, butt, waist, thighs.... Men love all of it. The reason boobs attract more attention is because it's right there within good view, at a nice ... (read in full...)
When does a guy know that he wants to marry a girl?
Q. Hi everyone, Background: He and I have been together for a little over a year. I now believe that he is the one I want to marry and spend the rest of our lives together. I have enough reasons to believe this. The thing is, we have not seriously di...
A. 29 June 2011: I recently read a poll in Cosmopolitan, on what makes men propose. These are the alternatives and results:
1% : because she gave him an ultimatum
6% : he's ready to have children and wants to be married first
31% : the rest of his life is ... (read in full...)
Why did he have to push me away while filling out his personal details in the form?
Q. Today I went shopping with the guy that I have been seeing. We were at a department store where if you apply for their credit card, you get 15% discount on your purchases. So he applied for the card. But 2 things stood out to me. First, he's a ...
A. 29 June 2011: I guess some people leave their license in the car, why not? That's his business, and there doesn't have to be anything wrong with it just because you do things differently. What's so weird about this, and what would it suggest? He wanted to f... (read in full...)
Nice Guys
Q. Nice guys- a lot of us have overlooked them, rejected them, or simply ignored them. Then, we become interested and they're married. So, it's like a chick flick scene where a pretty girl tells her nice guy admirer that he's too much like a brother ...
A. 29 June 2011: If girls ignored the nice guys how come they got married?
I've dated sweeties and nice guys. In fact I have a near chronological talent for getting involved with nerds who have no self confidence, but are really sweet and nice and polite and make... (read in full...)
Will he take me back or is he playing mind games?
Q. Do you think my ex and i will get back together? Okay so we have been broke up for a month went 2 weeks or so no contact but we are talking again . The first week of the break up i was stupid and BEGGED for him to take me back .. He didnt . But ...
A. 28 June 2011: He's being vindictive, really. That's all there is to it, he's saying things to hurt you on purpose.
You can tell a lot of a man by seeing how he handles defeat/a breakup. If he's vindictive during the breakup, it was only a matter of time bef... (read in full...)
It seems she is looser, could she be cheating?
Q. i have this curious question about a vagina fart,I know that its caused by air being pushed from the penis,but is it mostly cause by a bigger penis,for example-I've been with the mother of my kids for 18yrs. And I don't know if because she gave ...
A. 28 June 2011: The things you mention are not at all related to infidelity. Her body has changed, and these things happen.
If this is what you're building your suspicion on I say you are overly suspicious and paranoid. Try to see things from a realisti... (read in full...)
Will he take me back or is he playing mind games?
Q. Do you think my ex and i will get back together? Okay so we have been broke up for a month went 2 weeks or so no contact but we are talking again . The first week of the break up i was stupid and BEGGED for him to take me back .. He didnt . But ...
A. 28 June 2011: Oh he's just being a jerk towards you saying those things, and it is absolutely not true. This just shows that he still has no idea what he wants and enjoyed you crawling at his feet, maybe he felt empowered by it.
I have a girlfriend who got ... (read in full...)
She never told me !! should I bring it up or leave it incase it hurts her?
Q. I have been with my wife 19 years. We have been married for 10 years. Recently, she reconnected with an old college friend of hers. This was a girl that I knew back in the day, too, as I met my wife in college and she was roommates with this ...
A. 28 June 2011: You're not pregnant and then take a morning after pill, that's for sure. If you're pregnant the only way to not be is through an abortion or miscarriage.
Ask your wife if this bothers you, to get the story clear. But be aware that this old frie... (read in full...)
What's with the incredible sex??
Q. My bf and I don't see each other much since we're long distance. We've been together for 15 months now. We see each other every couple weeks, usually for a few days at a time. He's always had an issue with getting/staying erect when we first st...
A. 28 June 2011: The reason is that the relationship is moving in a better direction and improving. Don't make a problem where there is none, the relationship, and sex, is improving, so be happy about it! There doesn't have to be something going on. ... (read in full...)
Dignified but exciting sex positions?
Q. What kind of different sexual positions are dignified but also exciting? I am thirty-one and I have a girlfriend but it is a bit boring in bed. All we do is woman-on-top, missionary, and she gives me blowjobs. What are some exciting positio...
A. 28 June 2011: ps. I love switching positions, I think each time I have sex I go through at least 3-4 positions. ... (read in full...)
Dignified but exciting sex positions?
Q. What kind of different sexual positions are dignified but also exciting? I am thirty-one and I have a girlfriend but it is a bit boring in bed. All we do is woman-on-top, missionary, and she gives me blowjobs. What are some exciting positio...
A. 28 June 2011: Nothing in sex should be embarrassing.
Try spooning, you laying behind her holding your arms around her and slide it in from behind.
Doggy style.
Her sitting on top of you, but you sitting up as well so you can look into each others ey... (read in full...)
15 years old, boner problems!
Q. Hey, first post here. After countless other questions asked anonymously, I thought I'd make an account so I can look back on all my previous, stupid questions later in life and have a good laugh. But as of right NOW this is no laughing matter.. ...
A. 28 June 2011: So, do you love her?
This isn't anything new or scary, and it happens to a ton of guys. Presentation anxiety, that's what it is. And it can happen on a guy's first time, or with a new girlfriend, or when he's stressed out.
Basically, th... (read in full...)
How should I ask a girl out?
Q. After going out on a few informal dates with a girl I met a couple of months ago now, I’ve decided I want to ask her out as (stating the obvious) I like her, and I’m pretty sure she likes me! Anyhow, my last relationship was over four years ago and ...
A. 28 June 2011: It is quite simple. Do you have her phone number? Call her, or text her, whatever seems more appropriate. You score bonus points for calling, but if she's somewhat shy/you're not definitely sure she'll say yes, texting can be the easier option as ... (read in full...)
Should I get back with my ex? She left me for her ex, but he beat her up so she wants to come back to me again!
Q. So my ex gf, who dumped me to get back with her ex boyfriend who hits her, wants to get back together. Im the complete opposite of her ex, hes a badboy kind of guy who doesnt do shit with his life, while i on the other hand, work two dead end jobs ...
A. 28 June 2011: First you need to answer some questions: how long were you and her together? How long after the breakup with her ex did she come crawling back to you?
Who dumped whom? Did the ex dump her, or did she leave? Answer on both occasions please. ... (read in full...)
Do I deserve the same second chance I gave her?
Q. I have been dating a girl for 21 months. Back in November, I found out by looking in her laptop that she had been talking inappropriately to other guys. That hurt me a lot and I forgave and forgot so we could move on after she apologized. Now, ...
A. 27 June 2011: This isn't about building up favours and deserving a chance. She is the only one who gets to decide if she thinks the relationship, and you, are worth another chance. For many of us, second chances don't exist. It's either you're in, or you're out, ... (read in full...)
I want to marry him but not his kids!
Q. I love my boyfriend hugely and we are engaged to be married. He has two children from a previous relationship ,5 and 4. Though the children are relatively well behaved and love me I find it really difficult to accept. I never want children (though i ...
A. 27 June 2011: What's there to say that you want to speak to him about? He can't remove himself from the kids you know that. There's nothing to talk about. You feel grumpy about the kids, but this is a package deal. You either get them all, or none. ... (read in full...)
My partner is addicted to online gaming and he has no interest of putting any effort into our relationship.
Q. Hi, My partner who i live with, is addicted to online gaming. Not only that, but when he does deign to spend any time with me, it's generally him wanting to "get it on", he cannot seem to understand why his behaviour and attitude towards me and t...
A. 27 June 2011: I completely understand how you feel, if that's of any comfort. The best memory I have of my ex is of his back, as he'd always be faced towards his computer. If I wanted to talk to him I literally had to stand in front of the computer or else he ... (read in full...)
My partner is addicted to online gaming and he has no interest of putting any effort into our relationship.
Q. Hi, My partner who i live with, is addicted to online gaming. Not only that, but when he does deign to spend any time with me, it's generally him wanting to "get it on", he cannot seem to understand why his behaviour and attitude towards me and t...
A. 27 June 2011: Excessive gaming is a deal breaker to me, having been in a relationship with someone exactly like your boyfriend. With one exception, my ex smoked as well but at least he went outside to do it. However I couldn't get as much as a hi when I came home ... (read in full...)
My troubled circumstances have been preventing me from dating and making friends.....
Q. Hey everyone, I am a 22 year old man with some very serious social issues despite the fact that I have been very successful otherwise. although this may be extremely hard to believe [it is for myself quite often] but I have never dated, hugged, h...
A. 27 June 2011: RainorFire might seem blunt, but I have to agree. There is a very short answer to this complicated story. And that answer is that the past must be left behind you so you can move forward.
To go a bit more in depth. You are scaring yourself... (read in full...)
Why are women less likely to give a blowjob or hand job when your in a relationship with them?
Q. why do women let me finger them and have sex with them but they wont give me a blowjob. I have gotten blowjobs from women without even asking, these females where either friends or strippers or random drunk chicks and the strippers didnt even make ...
A. 27 June 2011: Drew that is a sad story, but yes. That's a woman prostituting herself for favours, and sadly it's common if the woman has no other means to pay you, but also if she has been "trained" by her surroundings into thinking thats what she needs to do to ... (read in full...)
Are men responsible or women for the fact that women don't look inside themselves for true integrity anymore?
Q. I want some female feedback. I see a lot of women freaking out about their guys interest in porn. I like porn. And if i had a partner I'm sure she would hate it as I would if she liked porn. I tend to like soft porn and i don't get an erection. I ...
A. 27 June 2011: What do you mean you'd hate it if your woman liked porn while you like it yourself? Isn't that having a double standard? Was it a typo?
Not all women care about porn, in fact most don't have an issue with it. Many women watch porn themselv... (read in full...)
It always hurts when he first goes inside me, is this normal?
Q. Hi well im a bit worried about my health. Me and my boyfriend started having sex about 2 months ago, im 17. Well everything was fine and we were having great sex, then one day it was taking him a while longer to orgasm and so the sex went on for l...
A. 27 June 2011: You got bruised on the inside when he took longer to come, and you were dry. This is normal and happens often. What you need to do is wait around two weeks for it to heal, meaning no intercourse of fingering in that period of time. If you don't take ... (read in full...)
15 and might be pregnant......Help!
Q. i need help . i am 15 years old and there is a big chance that i may be pregnant . i come from a very strict household that doesn't even believe in sex before marriage we. my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 7 months and i know we ...
A. 27 June 2011: I don't think you are pregnant either. You took the tests and they were negative. Your symptoms could be from your irregular period.
When you go to the doctors, even if you have a parent with you, aren't you allowed to talk in private with the... (read in full...)
Why are women less likely to give a blowjob or hand job when your in a relationship with them?
Q. why do women let me finger them and have sex with them but they wont give me a blowjob. I have gotten blowjobs from women without even asking, these females where either friends or strippers or random drunk chicks and the strippers didnt even make ...
A. 27 June 2011: This view of sex is what appears to be the problem. You treat sex as an exchange in favours, and so do these women you've gotten it on with on a whim. You didn't ask, but had been driving them around or help move, etc, and I really don't know why as ... (read in full...)
Any advice/stories of your experiences of taking a decision about an unplanned pregnancy and ways in which can affect your relationship?
Q. Hi, my bf of 10 months and I have found out we have an unplanned pregnancy, and that i'm probably 2-3 weeks pregnant despite taking the oral contraceptive pill. We found out last week and have been talking things through. Neither of us has a child ...
A. 27 June 2011: I'm sorry to butt in here, but I have a question for you instead. I'll ask my question first and then give you the little advice I can in the last part of this post.
I myself use the birth control pill for contraception. Is that the same you... (read in full...)
I am in a great relationship, but have met someone else who is amazing, what should I do?
Q. I've been in a successful relationship for almost 2 years. It's been perfect, we both love each other dearly, we spend more than 5 hours daily together (be it physically (when possible) or via phone, skpy, etc.). Honestly, it's even better than ...
A. 26 June 2011: Listen, you're arguing your case here, but none of what you say justify what's going on. Small crushes are fine, when you're in a long term relationship it happens. But we know when to stop them, and know where the line goes. When it gets to the ... (read in full...)
My lover is married, how do I get people to stop judging me?
Q. I'm so fed up of people judging me for being with a married man. Once again my best friend has broadcasted on facebook that I am a homewrecker and my boyfriend will only cheat on me blah blah blah I started seeing this man a year ago but never as...
A. 26 June 2011: Why are you fed up with people judging you for doing a bad thing? That's how society works! If you don't like it, start acting better.
This is like a criminal saying he's so tired of being put in jail each time he commits a crime.
But the... (read in full...)
I have inverted nipples. Will this change?
Q. Hello, I am a 14 years old girl with 34D breasts and I have retracted nipples. I wasn't born with it only came about when I started going through puberty and growing larger breasts. I am happy with the size of my breast but having retracted nipples ...
A. 26 June 2011: I think you need to ask your doctor this. ... (read in full...)
I am in a great relationship, but have met someone else who is amazing, what should I do?
Q. I've been in a successful relationship for almost 2 years. It's been perfect, we both love each other dearly, we spend more than 5 hours daily together (be it physically (when possible) or via phone, skpy, etc.). Honestly, it's even better than ...
A. 26 June 2011: Maybe Im in a horrible mood today, and with each question I answer I try to put myself in the shoes of the other person. But in this case I must say I can't for the love of god have any sympathy for your situation. I find you to be doing something ... (read in full...)
Does thinking about the fact that I might regret having sex make me not ready for it?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for around 3 months and a lot of our relationship is based on physical. Yes, I know I am underage, but don't judge me, please. I've made the choices and I don't regret them. We're thinking of having sex this...
A. 26 June 2011: "I lost my virginity at '13-15' that I might consider myself a slut."
How old are you?
There's a bit of a difference between 13 and 15.
I don't think you should do it. Firstly because you want him to spend the night, which isn't unrea... (read in full...)
Why am I always asked for sex? I'm not gorgeous!
Q. Ok I'm almost 19 and I don't need someone but something has been bugging me.First of all I'm not attractive especially compared to my friends. When I used to hang out with guys I was like one of them. Seriously, they seemed to think I was one of ...
A. 26 June 2011: They probably think you might be easy. Guys don't often go for the attractive girls because they don't think they'll stand a chance, ironically. Another point is that as you are like one of the guys they think it is easier to talk to you, while it ... (read in full...)
How long are we supposed to keep "poking" each other on Facebook?
Q. This guy i like sent me a poke on facebook last night. I tried to send one back, but it didn't work . My internet was slow at loading at first. So then, he sent another poke about an hour later and i sent one back, and he has sent another one this ...
A. 26 June 2011: Drop the pokes and bring this down to earth. Pokes mean nothing. If you like him, send him a message and ask to meet up, simple as it gets. Just go with the flow of things, but if you like him don't poke him, message him and talk to the man. ... (read in full...)
Moving on from a narcissistic partner?
Q. I finally mustered enough courage to kick my partner out. This man has taken so much from me. He's lied, cheated, belittled me and made me feel worthless with abusive comments etc. I've suspected for a while he has narcissistic personal...
A. 26 June 2011: I don't know if I have experience with NPD, (as people rarely get diagnosed or tell others), but I do have experience with self centered people who believe everyone should kiss the ground they walk on. And my belief is that he will not move on. ... (read in full...)
We've broken up but neither has moved on. Should I wait?
Q. A little over a year ago my boyfriend's father passed away in a car accident. Since then there have been a lot of family issues that have come up alongside the normal formalities of a death. Everything between us carried on as usual. About 2 m...
A. 26 June 2011: Do a little of both. Move on in the sense that you consider the relationship over, and that you will remove yourself emotionally from him (not the the point of not being his friend, but to the point that you no longer feel an urge to kiss him when ... (read in full...)
Is my gf still in love with her ex??
Q. I can't stop thinking my gf is still in love with her ex. They were together for like 3 years. She tells me she's not and that she loves me but she has told me she wants me to meet him (wtf--why?) And I said I didn't want to. She hung out with him ...
A. 26 June 2011: If he was such an idiot towards her I don't think there's any chance of them getting back together. It could be she's looking for closure of some kind, maybe wants to be friends just because she feels so bad about everything that happened, even if ... (read in full...)
Is my gf still in love with her ex??
Q. I can't stop thinking my gf is still in love with her ex. They were together for like 3 years. She tells me she's not and that she loves me but she has told me she wants me to meet him (wtf--why?) And I said I didn't want to. She hung out with him ...
A. 25 June 2011: That the thing here, she's perfect. She's too perfect, something must be wrong. That's what your brain is telling you. And being such a wonderful person, you will find yourself in constant struggle looking for treats to the relationship, looking ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
