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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I don't want to like big women anymore!
Q. Okay people, I have a serious problem, I like bigger girls, like huge girls, and even making them gain weight for my pleasure, for some reason I find them highly attractive, but I don't like this attraction, I am also afraid my family would ridicule ...
A. 21 July 2011: So screw your family. Honestly, life is too short to care about what others will think. ... (read in full...)
Is it safe? Or am I getting paranoid about accidently getting pregnant?
Q. Ok, so two of the guys I've slept with can't figure out why I have to jump up and stop them before they put their fingers inside me after they just came and, long story short, got a little bit or even a lot of come on their hands. And if I was blow...
A. 13 July 2011: I think they might have tried to deliberately kept sperm alive outside the body then. I have a friend who studies medicine and I happened to mention this question to her, and she said the same as I did. It can survive minutes only. And only when ... (read in full...)
Can I get an IUD fitted regardless of being 19, childless and still a virgin?
Q. I'm 19 and thinking about contraception for the first time. Having done a fair amount of research on all types available, the (non-hormonal) IUD sounds the most appealing. I'm wondering if I could have one fitted though - am I too young? Some ...
A. 10 July 2011: You can. They typically don't do it, but if you have good enough reasons or want it badly enough then maybe.
You still need to talk to your doctor about this, and why you want contraception in the first place. If you aren't having sex you don'... (read in full...)
She thinks I only care about her boobs and now were not talking !
Q. Hi everyone! Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years. We are very happy together! But recently as we were having cuddles in bed, i was touching her breasts, which are size 30C. She normally likes me touching her but she said to me ...
A. 10 July 2011: You've been with her for 3 years, are you sure you don't know her well enough to know what to do? You know her better than any of us do, but if I were you I wouldn't sit around for 4 days ignoring/waiting for her to contact me. A woman reads this as ... (read in full...)
How do I start to slim down?
Q. Hi I know this isn't a relationship question but I'm desperate for some help. Its about my weight, I can't afford to join weightwatchers or slimmersworld etc or the gym for that matter because I've just lost my job. The thing is 2 years ago me and m...
A. 10 July 2011: You need to give this more than a week! You didn't gain weight in just one week, and you won't lose it in just one week ether unless you stop eating completely.
A work-out doesn't have to to be done at the gym. Or with someone else holding ... (read in full...)
I don't want to get with my friend in case it ruins our friendship, but part of me is thinking "try it". What should I do?
Q. I've started having feelings towards a really close friend of mine, we've been friends for almost 8 years. He's told me he loves me, like more than friends and we both like eachother but i dont know what to do. I dont want to get with him incase i...
A. 10 July 2011: I would go for it if I was you. You feel the way you feel for a reason, and friendship is the very best foundation for a relationship. What can you risk more with him that you would risk less with someone else? Would it be easier to be in a ... (read in full...)
Why marry someone when it seems sure you'll get a divorce?
Q. I can't trust my fiance. He constantly lies to me, breaks promises, and walks away from arguments and the relationship. We were planning on going through an LDR, but I'm not so sure anymore. Only a week or so ago, we went through a huge falling out, ...
A. 10 July 2011: This is why people normally wait a while before deciding on marriage, and wait a while as engaged as well before marriage. To test the waters a bit and see how it goes. You now know that it would surely end in divorce, so why marry? Correct ... (read in full...)
Moving on. Is two montha long enough to wait before I start dating again?
Q. I have just broke up from my girldfriend of 1 year, but to be honest the last 2 months I may as well have been single. The first few months went well, but then I started to get very judegmental about her past, and I was nasty to her about it and aske...
A. 10 July 2011:
If you are ready to try again at dating and relationships, you are ready, no need to wait. The only reason to wait is to give the other person some healing time and show respect to that person and the relationship you had. You need to be your own ... (read in full...)
I am confused by all of his actions, can anyone help me??
Q. So... this guy i'm dating. He's perfect.. in theory... but then he does stuff that confuse me big time. He wants to go out with me but he wants to go home 10 p.m... (and why? i don't know since school is off for the summer and he doesn't have a ...
A. 10 July 2011: Why aren't your alarm bells going off already? Perfect, this guy? Who you are only dating with, dates which you don't barely even count as dates, who tells you in texts that he loves you? And in such a weird way too, he uses "love" as an excuse. His ... (read in full...)
Will my next sexual encounter be painful??
Q. ok i had sex too year ago i have only been with one "ex" partner but i have a new partner now whice i love so much and im planning of haveing sex very soon but i am a bit scared will it be sore or will i bleed again will my vigina be like a virgin ...
A. 9 July 2011: Your vagina might feel tight at the first go, but nowhere the same as when you were a virgin. You wont bleed again (unless he's being extremely rough with you, which shouldn't happen).
I assume you've had sex more than once. It'll be just lik... (read in full...)
I don't want to like big women anymore!
Q. Okay people, I have a serious problem, I like bigger girls, like huge girls, and even making them gain weight for my pleasure, for some reason I find them highly attractive, but I don't like this attraction, I am also afraid my family would ridicule ...
A. 9 July 2011: Here's an idea. Wait until you are out of puberty and then see what happens over the years. You're still in the middle of developing who you are, your tastes probably fly all over the place. So take your time, relax, and just let what happens ... (read in full...)
Will there be something wrong with my baby? Will I be able to keep it a secret that my cousin is the father?
Q. i am currently 7 weeks pregnant by my first cousin but please dont judge me i had no idea he was my cousin till i found out at a funeral but anyways i dont believe in abortion but i wanna no what are the chances of something wrong happening to my ...
A. 9 July 2011: Hello again. It's not about whether or not you are capable of taking care of a child on your own. Many women do, yes, and surely you will as well. In your position I would count on being a single mother, whether or not the father knows about it. ... (read in full...)
Will there be something wrong with my baby? Will I be able to keep it a secret that my cousin is the father?
Q. i am currently 7 weeks pregnant by my first cousin but please dont judge me i had no idea he was my cousin till i found out at a funeral but anyways i dont believe in abortion but i wanna no what are the chances of something wrong happening to my ...
A. 1 July 2011: I don't think you can keep it a secret who the father is, because someone has to be the dad and we all know it. So unless you have another man who is willing to take the blame, your cousin needs to come forth. Does he know you are pregnant? He needs ... (read in full...)
She has let me back into her life a little, how do I get her back from here?
Q. advice required. ive previously asked for help with the situation with my x the woman i loved. basically over the course of last 6/7 years ive constantly flirted, emailed, texted other women and messed around, never once have i done anything...
A. 1 July 2011: Nonono, again! Sorry, but I think your reply was written before my post came up. NO TATTOO!!! Please, you will not prove anything by it, but only add pressure. It will do more damage, if you want her back don't tattoo her name on your body, please. ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him and look for someone who puts in more effort?
Q. Should I break up with my boyfriend? He has great wonderful qualities, and I do love him, but I feel like he doesn't put a lot of effort into our relationship. I don't know if my expectations are too high, but are there guys out there who really ...
A. 1 July 2011: That totally depends on what you judge to be putting in the effort or not. Can you give examples?
I think you'd not find a man who puts in more effort, as you said your boyfriend does put in effort, just not enough. But what's enough? It can be h... (read in full...)
He still hasn't kissed me! Should I carry on waiting or make the first move myself?
Q. okay so my bf and i have been dating for 2 months and we still havent kissed!! isnt that weird? anyway hes told me he wanted to many times but he knows im waiting for him to kiss me first and make the first move.. im just wondering if i should ...
A. 1 July 2011: Make the initial moves yourself. That's the classic female tactic. A woman will make it so that the man thinks it was his idea.
This mean you don't kiss him, but you arrange it so that he WILL kiss you. How you ask? Simple. To be able to kiss you... (read in full...)
We were together 5 years and he never wanted to move in with me, but now he is living with a girl he hardly knows!
Q. ok so me and my ex broke up 2 yrs ago.. We were together for 5 yrs.. We had a good relationship, we hardly ever fought.. Family loved me..everything was good so I thought he lost my trust I couldn't trust him so why be with someone u can't trust ...
A. 1 July 2011: It's got nothing to do with you personally you know. There could be many reasons for why he decided to move in with this new girlfriend, and my bet is this:
He's more mature now than what he was when he was with you. You were with him since yo... (read in full...)
She has let me back into her life a little, how do I get her back from here?
Q. advice required. ive previously asked for help with the situation with my x the woman i loved. basically over the course of last 6/7 years ive constantly flirted, emailed, texted other women and messed around, never once have i done anything...
A. 1 July 2011: Nonono... everything was going so fine until you had sex with her! She showed you interest, what you need to do is be reserved and not jump on it like a dog jumping for bones and sticks. You want MORE than a casual shag, even if it is mindblowing, ... (read in full...)
Question for the ladies: Do you find that there's a lot of variation from one man to the next in terms of how good the sex is, or do the vast majority of men tend to fall roughly in the middle range?
Q. Question for the ladies: do you find that there's a lot of variation from one man to the next in terms of how good the sex is, or do the vast majority of men tend to fall roughly in the middle range? As a man, I'd have to say the old saying that ...
A. 1 July 2011: There is a huge difference from one man to the other. It's not measured in orgasms, as I barely if ever at all experience an orgasm with a man. It's the feeling of it, his smell, his kisses, the way he touches you, the way he looks at you. The way ... (read in full...)
Why do so many girls, such as myself, go for complete JERKS?
Q. A general question, for everyone out there. Why do so many girls, such as myself, go for complete JERKS? I'm meet these lovely, kind, hard-working and attractive men, who have similar interests as me and whom I can really talk to, but I'm just...
A. 1 July 2011: "the ones with a good grasp of their emotions and controlling them, are secure"
Aww, thank you Cerberus, lol
I'm not going to flatter myself with being one of these rare women though. I'm wondering if we live in different worlds however. ... (read in full...)
Is it safe? Or am I getting paranoid about accidently getting pregnant?
Q. Ok, so two of the guys I've slept with can't figure out why I have to jump up and stop them before they put their fingers inside me after they just came and, long story short, got a little bit or even a lot of come on their hands. And if I was blow...
A. 1 July 2011: If he hasn't been getting sperm on his hands his hands wont be able to make you pregnant... Thats what I don't understand here. If you use a condom, then how would the sperm end up on his fingers? I've had sex in my life, but never ended up in that ... (read in full...)
Nice Guys
Q. Nice guys- a lot of us have overlooked them, rejected them, or simply ignored them. Then, we become interested and they're married. So, it's like a chick flick scene where a pretty girl tells her nice guy admirer that he's too much like a brother ...
A. 1 July 2011: Rockshedder what is your point? Do you want me to start a list over all the great sides of myself as well and ask why on earth nice guys don't approach me? Everyone could do that, try not to take this personal.
When I hunt down my men I take the... (read in full...)
Can I kick start puberty?
Q. Well! I'm nearly 14 and I have had no signs of starting puberty and its getting embarresing! I have had no growth spurts or anything and I'm getting self councious about it now and I was wondereing if there was anyway to kick start puberty and what ...
A. 30 June 2011: Eat properly, balanced food, and get enough nutrients. If you aren't eating enough it will slow you down. Growing takes a lot of energy from your body, most teenagers get a big appetite because of growing.
If you work out, or just stay active, ... (read in full...)
Am I abusive to my bf?
Q. I am a girl, but I come from a long line of very similar men. I take after my father in personality, and that personality includes some obsessive behavior and addictive behavior. I'm worried I may have also inherited some of the family abusive ...
A. 30 June 2011: It is hard to say based on what you write, it'd be more helpful if you had more descriptions of how you feel when you get angry, and how you act on it. You mentioned name calling, which is a form of abuse in a way. I'm wary about calling behaviour ... (read in full...)
How to make tossing off a boy special
Q. me and my boyfriend have decided to wait a couple of months till sex, but we are doing other things, i want to make tossing him off extra special or nice for him, any good tips or tricks that they like? ...
A. 30 June 2011: What is tossing off? And if it is something intimate and special in itself, why the need to make it even -more- special? Isn't it special already? How did you manage to make it not special?
I don't think people should try to overcomp... (read in full...)
Emotionally abusive, untrusting, 10 year older boyfriend wants kids with me NOW, or else he's gone.
Q. Hello everyone. Some background info for my question: I'm 22, my boyfriend is 32. We've been living together about 2 years. We have had some problems in the past due to his emotional unstability. He has been jealous and paranoid, he has been emo...
A. 30 June 2011: Will he be a good father? Don't make the mistake of thinking he will change, or that he will treat the children any different from you. He won't. If he's emotionally abusive towards you he will towards the children as well. And unlike you, who can ... (read in full...)
Why do so many girls, such as myself, go for complete JERKS?
Q. A general question, for everyone out there. Why do so many girls, such as myself, go for complete JERKS? I'm meet these lovely, kind, hard-working and attractive men, who have similar interests as me and whom I can really talk to, but I'm just...
A. 30 June 2011: Yeah I don't know. I've been with nice guys who didn't get much female attention and they were in total immature when it came to relationships. Great givers in the sack, best lovers I've ever had for sure, but overall they had no idea about ... (read in full...)
Seeing him each Friday is the greatest 10 minutes of my week! So how do I stop liking him?
Q. so, where to start, i am 17 and am in love with a man who is quite a lot older than me (he is 38) and ironicly i met him through his wifes' parents and he brother, who are all family friends. i see him on a friday night when i get dinner at the chip ...
A. 30 June 2011: This man is unavailable. As soon as you find someone more interesting you will switch over to the new person. This is just a crush as the man is unavailable and you don't know him either. You spend 10 minutes admiring him once a week, and that's it. ... (read in full...)
To threesome or not to threesome...mature answers only please!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 years now. Recently, we've hit a few rough patches and I'm trying to spice up and revive our relationship. One of his fantasies is to have a threesome with a woman that neither one of us ...
A. 30 June 2011: These are questions and fears you need to talk to your boyfriend about.
Before having a threesome, or during the threesome, one should always talk to the partner about what's ok to do and what's not. Plenty of women agree to a threesome, but don'... (read in full...)
Does anyone else sneeze when they get horny?
Q. Does anyone else sneeze when they get horny? I have had this happen to me for many years. Whenever I get really horny, or think of something very erotic, I often start a sneezing fit. It's like the blood or adrenaline rushes to my head and ...
A. 30 June 2011: That's a nice way to know when you're turned on, haha.
I don't know of anyone like this, but I sneeze when I get light into my eyes. Such as sunlight, or even a bright light. I heard it's not common, and that some don't even believe this can happ... (read in full...)
Why do so many girls, such as myself, go for complete JERKS?
Q. A general question, for everyone out there. Why do so many girls, such as myself, go for complete JERKS? I'm meet these lovely, kind, hard-working and attractive men, who have similar interests as me and whom I can really talk to, but I'm just...
A. 30 June 2011: I actually must say I have no idea what this is all about, and maybe I'm the odd one out, but I can't stand all women being labeled as only wanting jerks. We don't. Maybe some women do, but I don't know of any. Girls/women I know go for good guys if ... (read in full...)
No pregnancy options?
Q. I haven't had sex, and I don't plan on it anytime soon, but I am curious. If I were to be on the pill, have the guy have a condom on, make him pull out properly, and take the morning after pill...what are the chances I would become pregnant? Is it ...
A. 30 June 2011: Birth control pill and a condom and you're as safe as safe can be. No need for him to pull out before ejaculating (as that isn't a method to prevent pregnancy at all really) and the morning after pill isn't to be used as a contraceptive, it is for ... (read in full...)
First time kiss, what should I do when it happens?
Q. I'm going to see a movie with my boyfriend tomorrow and I'm kinda worrying that he's gonna kiss me, well, because this will be my first kiss :/ I'm nervous just thinking about it, what should I do? I want to kiss him, but I just want to mak...
A. 30 June 2011: If he kisses you, just close your eyes and kiss him back! If something goes bad on the first kiss, it's ok, it's not the end of the world, and you will have many chances to kiss him again and again later. ... (read in full...)
Will going on the pill mean I will put on weight? Or should I see a gynacologist instead?
Q. i'm currently in a relationship with an amazing guy. he's the first boyfriend i've ever had and the first person iv'e had any sexual contact whatsoever with. I also recently lost my virginity to him as well, and he wore a condom both times we'v...
A. 30 June 2011: I'm not sure if you can blame mood swings on the pill. And the weight gain only comes from an increased appetite, which affects some women, not close to all. With all the benefits of the pill, and with the uncertainty if you will even react to the ... (read in full...)
Why do more white women than white men date outside of their race?
Q. This is just a simple question, not one with a lot details or anything. I was just wondering what people thought...um...why is it that there are more white women to date outside their race, then there are white men? I know this can be a ...
A. 30 June 2011: So in other words, everyone wants the white woman? If the question is correct in it's assumptions.
I doubt this to be true. I've also seen plenty white men with asian/foreign women, just to throw that one in there. ... (read in full...)
My most embarassing sexual moment
Q. If youre really honest ladies, you might relate to my experience. One day i was having sex with my boyfriend and i was on top. I was busy enjoying myself there when he distracted me, "honey, is this pee on my stomach?" and im like "no way!it cant ...
A. 29 June 2011: It can happen when you're really enjoying yourself. I sometimes fart when I orgasm, which is embarrassing, and is one reason why I find it hard to relax with a partner... Because when you relax, you also relax the muscles down there too which can ... (read in full...)
Why do more white women than white men date outside of their race?
Q. This is just a simple question, not one with a lot details or anything. I was just wondering what people thought...um...why is it that there are more white women to date outside their race, then there are white men? I know this can be a ...
A. 29 June 2011: How do you know this? I wasn't aware that there was a difference? And what is the criteria for "white men" and "white women"? Do you have any particular nationalities or ethnic groups in mind?
By the way, mixed marriages tend to be dependen... (read in full...)
I can't figure out my own feelings!
Q. So... how do I make this simple..... ok, thing is, I really don't know what I'm thinking about her! I'll just start of with how it started: I'm in second year of college and we've been classmates since first semester and then around the second w...
A. 29 June 2011: I think you have already developed friendly feelings for her. If you enjoy the contact you have, hugs and hand-holding, and it feels comfortable, you could continue to do this.
Unless her having a child is a deal breaker to you (as in if you want... (read in full...)
I can't fully get over an ex before I get involved with someone new. Is this normal?
Q. I've had 3 serious relationships in my young life. Each time these relationships have ended I have been devastated. I put a lot of effort and energy in to making relationships work and when they don't work out I feel like I've failed. But I don't ...
A. 29 June 2011: You absolutely need to define how long is a "long time" for you.
You also need to define how it feels when you're over someone 100%. Because to get over someone 100% can take years. You cared deeply for this person, or even loved them. Naturall... (read in full...)
Do I follow the advice of others or listen to my heart?
Q. There is this guy that I like a lot and certain people around me keep trying to convince me that he is not the guy for me, for instance they brought up an issue about his personality being different than mine because he parties frequently and I ...
A. 29 June 2011: Usually you listen to a bit of both added with logic sense. It also depends on what sort of warnings you receive. For example, if your friends told you he was a cheater, or a player and a flirt, or that he's an asshole, that he uses drugs, or ... (read in full...)
How can sex with a bigger guy be improved?
Q. My boyfriend is a bigger guy (6', 280lbs) and I'm 5'7" 135 pounds. It's hard to have sex because his penis seems smaller with all of the fat surrounding it. When we have sex it's hard for him to get any penetration because we can't seem to find a ...
A. 29 June 2011: Is it just his size that is the problem, or are you a larger person as well?
Have you tried different positions? Usually it's a matter of trying out new positions until you have a handful that are do-able, so you have enough to variate between.... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my BF cheated on me?
Q. This girl told me my boyfriend had cheated on me with her in her car. He denied every bit of it (there has been several rumors of him cheating) so I told him to call the girl in front of me so I know he wasn't lying, well he refused to do that. ...
A. 29 June 2011: Yes! This man sounds like a cheater!
Complete strangers rarely call you up and tell your your boyfriend has cheated, then go on to give you details. Also, he wouldn't have refused to call her to prove it wasn't true.
When a man is caught ch... (read in full...)
I feel I should also sleep with someone else while I'm single to get this out of my system.
Q. Im a in a real bad moral situation that i cannot seem to make a decision on. I had a 5 year relationship with a girl who i love dearly. We started growing distant and she broke up with me on the day my dog died. It was a real heartache and i asked ...
A. 29 June 2011: I have an idea. If I was in your shoes this is how I'd feel, and Im wondering that maybe you feel the same way, but haven't figured out how to put words on it. So here it goes, maybe you agree with me and maybe you don't.
If this happened to me, I... (read in full...)
Is it safe? Or am I getting paranoid about accidently getting pregnant?
Q. Ok, so two of the guys I've slept with can't figure out why I have to jump up and stop them before they put their fingers inside me after they just came and, long story short, got a little bit or even a lot of come on their hands. And if I was blow...
A. 29 June 2011: This is overly paranoid. What are you afraid of? Your uterus carries the eggs, not your hands. Sperm on your hands, or on the hands of your partner, is harmless.
It might be you have a phobia against getting sperm in contact with hands?
However... (read in full...)
I don't want to like big women anymore!
Q. Okay people, I have a serious problem, I like bigger girls, like huge girls, and even making them gain weight for my pleasure, for some reason I find them highly attractive, but I don't like this attraction, I am also afraid my family would ridicule ...
A. 29 June 2011: I don't think there is anything you can do really. You are who you are, you like what you like. If you don't like broccoli, and love chocolate, what can you do? If you don't want to eat chocolate, and force yourself to eat broccoli, sure, do that ... (read in full...)
Nice Guys
Q. Nice guys- a lot of us have overlooked them, rejected them, or simply ignored them. Then, we become interested and they're married. So, it's like a chick flick scene where a pretty girl tells her nice guy admirer that he's too much like a brother ...
A. 29 June 2011: If girls ignored the nice guys how come they got married?
I've dated sweeties and nice guys. In fact I have a near chronological talent for getting involved with nerds who have no self confidence, but are really sweet and nice and polite and make... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
