| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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How long does it take for breast size to increase while on the pill?
Q. Hello all, I've been on Microgynon 30 contraceptive pill for just under a week now. I am 22 and this is the first time I've been on the pill. I went on it mainly to try and calm down my bad periods. But I am hoping I may increase my breast size a ...
A. 24 July 2011: I took Yasmin in my younger years, got pimples. Breasts stayed the same. Hair stayed the same. ... (read in full...)
Any hope for us?
Q. Can this relationship go anywhere? We are on different levels. I make more money than her. I have a degree in graphic arts. My job is a part time hotel job and I freelance from time to time. I'm continuing to look for a full time graphic position ...
A. 21 July 2011: She sounds unsure of the relationship. And since she's not sure about it she turns to you, hoping you have the magical answer.
She doesn't sound committed. I think she got carried away with the fairy tale of a relationship at the beginnin... (read in full...)
How long does it take for breast size to increase while on the pill?
Q. Hello all, I've been on Microgynon 30 contraceptive pill for just under a week now. I am 22 and this is the first time I've been on the pill. I went on it mainly to try and calm down my bad periods. But I am hoping I may increase my breast size a ...
A. 20 July 2011: I use Microgynon and that's the only pill that I got that side effect with... Been on others and didn't experience any difference. It is too individual, some people react to one pill, another a different one.
... (read in full...)
Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 20 July 2011: It is simple. It is hard to tell someone, but very easy too. All you have to say is "we split up" or "we ended it", or something that you think fits. Keep it short, and no explanations or introductions needed. Tell your mother, and hopefully she ... (read in full...)
Scared to give him a blow job!
Q. My boyfrined really wants a blow job. He told me he's willing to wait for me, but I feel like I need to do it. Not because he's pressuring me, but because I'm curious and want him knowing he can come to me for pleasure and a relationship. I'm scared ...
A. 19 July 2011: Sounds like he is pressuring you, yepp. In an ideal relationship you don't ask for sex, or pleasure, you are given these things without asking. If he asks he sounds needy, and that he only cares for himself.
Are you sure he is a good boyfrien... (read in full...)
Can our daughter's possible health problem turn-off my wife's feelings for me and depress her?
Q. Me and my wife married for 10 years, have two kids. Latelly we have observed that our 5 years old daughter have some socilal adoptive problem. She doesn't follow social rules. She doesn't like to play with kids, doesn't follow the reules in class. ...
A. 19 July 2011: You can't blame this on your wife's depression during pregnancy. There is so far no evidence of it, and if you want to throw around accusations you could throw them in any direction, even down to whatever you yourself ate the day before conceiving ... (read in full...)
Having feelings for someone else, should I leave my boyfriend?
Q. Basically, I have been in a long distance relationship for nearly 6 years. When I was younger it was because we couldn't afford to move closer, and now its because he's been in uni and we can't afford to live together. So we have been apart, we see ...
A. 18 July 2011: If you leave, or end a relationship, there will always be hurt. You'll be hurt as well, because you separate yourself from a person who matters a lot to you. But even if they matter a lot to you, and you care for them, you also need to take a good ... (read in full...)
If we are just "friends", why did she get all dressed up to go out with me?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I know this girl and I like her, but she said she just wants to be friends. I was heartbroken at first but then said to myself, I like her enough so why not just be friends. So we made an arrangement last week to see a movie...
A. 18 July 2011: Daniele, you said you never met a woman who placed a guy in the "friendzone" and then took him out. Well, you've now met her. And I know more of them too. There is no friend zone, that term is made up by guys to have a less pathetic excuse than "she ... (read in full...)
If we are just "friends", why did she get all dressed up to go out with me?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I know this girl and I like her, but she said she just wants to be friends. I was heartbroken at first but then said to myself, I like her enough so why not just be friends. So we made an arrangement last week to see a movie...
A. 18 July 2011: Two options, both as likely:
A) She likes you as possibly more, for unknown reasons turned you down, but maybe she's been thinking about you at night and wants to test the waters before diving in.
B) She always dresses up with friends, or had... (read in full...)
Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 18 July 2011: If he believes it's right then does that have to mean your beliefs are wrong? Do you think what you believe is wrong? Even if you want to excuse him, clearly you know you do not see eye to eye on this matter. Who's right or wrong becomes irrelevant. ... (read in full...)
Can being nervous mean a man can't keep an erection?
Q. I recently went home with a man I've had a crush on for the past year or so. He is twice my age and we've known each other in a strictly professional capacity, so it was quite unusual and exciting to have the chance to sleep with him. When we got to ...
A. 18 July 2011: This is very common. You haven't had it happen with you before, but take my word for it. It is common, and happens more often than you think. It happens when a guy gets nervous. Don't stress the sex part with him, make him feel relaxed and ... (read in full...)
Any hope for us?
Q. Can this relationship go anywhere? We are on different levels. I make more money than her. I have a degree in graphic arts. My job is a part time hotel job and I freelance from time to time. I'm continuing to look for a full time graphic position ...
A. 18 July 2011: Well then you need to tell your girlfriend what we've written here to you, and ask her the questions that we've asked. ... (read in full...)
I've lost all my confidence in my oral skills!
Q. My bf says he finds oral relaxing rather than a turn on. He enjoys it, but his erection soon goes floppy once I start sucking him off. My ex's have told me I am very good at oral so I don't feel it's entirely my fault. Regardless, it makes me feel ...
A. 17 July 2011: ps. I once fell asleep receiving oral sex. It IS relaxing. Doesn't mean it wasn't good.
... (read in full...)
I've lost all my confidence in my oral skills!
Q. My bf says he finds oral relaxing rather than a turn on. He enjoys it, but his erection soon goes floppy once I start sucking him off. My ex's have told me I am very good at oral so I don't feel it's entirely my fault. Regardless, it makes me feel ...
A. 17 July 2011: You need to not take things personally. It's not about you. Don't make it about you. He finds it relaxing, unfortunately you experience the complete opposite: you get excited. Try to find a happy medium of where he gets to be relaxed and you get to ... (read in full...)
Who do you talk to about your relationship/dating problems?
Q. I have a huge crush on this girl, but circumstances make it difficult to do anything about it. I want to get some advice, talk to someone about it, hence why I'm posting this. But I want to talk to someone real, someone who knows me. The probl...
A. 17 July 2011: I talk to my girl friends, but women are better to talk to about these things than guys. You however do right by not speaking to your girl friends, they might very well ruin it. If you have a girl friend who do not know the girl of your interest, ... (read in full...)
Does being bisexual exist in some people?
Q. Where can I start. Growing up I kinda found guys more attractive and going through puberty I liked looking at gay porn. I never looked a sexually things with women involved. There were times when i liked girls also. But I never been just fully ...
A. 17 July 2011: Yes, bisexual people exist, hence the term "bisexual".
However, I think you've posted here before on this, so excuse me for repeating myself, but you can not judge what sexuality you are or what sexual preferences you have on PORN. Porn and real... (read in full...)
Any hope for us?
Q. Can this relationship go anywhere? We are on different levels. I make more money than her. I have a degree in graphic arts. My job is a part time hotel job and I freelance from time to time. I'm continuing to look for a full time graphic position ...
A. 17 July 2011: Do you think material values matter in heaven? Since you list up material values and then says it's no match in heaven....
Actually, your relationship might very well be a match made in heaven, you're just focusing on all the "earthly goods" i... (read in full...)
How can I learn who I am and change who I was?
Q. Ok. Being at age 33 I have learned that what I have done with my life just isn't enough. I have a decent job that I love helping people. I make decent money. After having been broken up for months with the same kind of women that I have dated for ...
A. 17 July 2011: You usually don't go to social event out of fear? Fear of what? Find out what you are afraid of and whether or not these are actual things to be afraid of. Will you lose your job? Will the house catch on fire? What could happen that is so horrible ... (read in full...)
Why was she so sore this time?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost 11 months now. Today I returned from being away for two weeks and we spend most of it rather physically. I've never came before but today I did. The strange thing was that she couldn't. She ...
A. 17 July 2011: Oh yeah, and she was sore because you kept at it for too long. Some times you get sore easier than others, again there are no concrete reasons why. It just happens. If you're particularly sensitive that day you get sore faster, other days you can go ... (read in full...)
Why was she so sore this time?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost 11 months now. Today I returned from being away for two weeks and we spend most of it rather physically. I've never came before but today I did. The strange thing was that she couldn't. She ...
A. 17 July 2011: No, you're all wrong. It isn't about being used to it or not, and it isn't strange either. Women are complex, there as so many factors involved in whether or not they can orgasm, and the stimulation they need also vary a lot. One day one thing ... (read in full...)
I don't really know what to do in bed...
Q. Hi everyone, i need your help. i lost my virginity about 1 month ago, and everythings great. sex isnt painful and IS pleasurable. but everytime ive had sex i havent had to do anything at all (my boyfriend has done all the work). The other day i ...
A. 16 July 2011: It takes practice. I suggest you start having a few times going slow, try to ride him sloooowly. Then find your rhythm, and what works for you. I always found the best sex was when you didn't think about your partner, but did what was pleasurable ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to women but I don't want to go down there, what should I do?
Q. I'm attracted to men but I feel an attraction to women as well. I don't think I've met a woman in real life yet that I'm attracted to, but I know I feel aroused when I see women in the media - like when I watch a sex scene in a movie. This may be ...
A. 16 July 2011: ps. same with blowjobs: it can get too wet. When you lick you also add saliva (spit) to the mixture and it can get too wet and sloppy. That's not good for either you or the woman (same as we don't like sloppy kisses). The solution is simple, keep a ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to women but I don't want to go down there, what should I do?
Q. I'm attracted to men but I feel an attraction to women as well. I don't think I've met a woman in real life yet that I'm attracted to, but I know I feel aroused when I see women in the media - like when I watch a sex scene in a movie. This may be ...
A. 16 July 2011: Hahahah! "It's messy, it's sticky, it gets smelly and I'm sure it has a taste..."
No, sweet you, it isn't. When you are in love, and mature, every part of your lovers body will be amazing and fantastic.
I don't like the taste of myself. And w... (read in full...)
Pardon, your slip is showing!
Q. My Aunt has recently given me some brand new 1960s style underwear which includes some waist slips with pleated hems one black, one brown and one white.I could not resist wearing them and these slips are absolutely gorgeous and when the pleats of ...
A. 16 July 2011: I don't understand exactly what it is that is visible here, but there are really only one rule when it comes to underwear of any kind: don't flash it.
If parts of your panties show, no matter what style they are, it is trashy. You can choose i... (read in full...)
We split up and decided to remain friends, but he went off with his mates and didn't text!
Q. My partner of 15 months and I split up 8 weeks ago. We have had many ups and downs since then but have now put them all behind us and have decided to stay friends. We have been getting along really well and he has been very complimentary towards me ...
A. 15 July 2011: Speaking every day will make it impossible for you to get over him. And, you're not over him. That's why this upsets you so.
Woman to woman: I have no idea why men are this way. They say they think about you, care about you, miss you, they STI... (read in full...)
24 and never had an orgasm! Help!
Q. hi everyone sorry to be so personal heres my problem in 24 and i have never had a orgasm my new partners getting very impatient with me it just never seems to happen ive even got a vibrator which doesnt help any tips please...
A. 15 July 2011: How long have you had the vibrator?
Tell your partner that an orgasm wont happen when you are pressured, plain and simple.
I suggest you try the shower. Nothing ever worked as great for me as the shower, the pressure from the water against yo... (read in full...)
Do girls regret some of the decisions they make when chosing guys?
Q. We were real into each other in the beginning, almost dating. Then something happened and she never had a chance to get over her ex. Suddenly, she wasn't ready for a relationship, which I understood. She said she's never been more sexually attracted ...
A. 15 July 2011: Doesn't sound like she was ever really into you Im afraid. It hurts since you have feelings for her, but you did the right thing by removing yourself from her. It wont make your pain less if she would regret it or not. What will make your pain less ... (read in full...)
She is becoming a whore and I care about her too much to let her do this to herself!
Q. Big problem. I have a friend that has been known to get around. I just became really good friends with her about 6 months ago and things between us got closer. I started to want to just have sex with her, but then she told me that she had feelings ...
A. 15 July 2011: Help yourself as well while you're at it. A girl can be just as horny as a guy, and you were willing to "get with her" without even knowing her, which makes you a whore as well. Just for the record. You can't clean on someone else's doorstep when ... (read in full...)
How can I encourage him to give me oral again?
Q. I have been going out with my bf for 3 years now and we have a healthy sex life. He is very good at giving me oral and used to do it loads because I do not orgasm during sex and that's the only way (apart from with vibrators) that I can orgasm. But ...
A. 15 July 2011: How about you don't have sex as often, so he can save up his energy? Then when you do have sex, make it about quality and not quantity. Rather have two days a week of mind blowing great sex, than 6 days of mediocre in and out.
Give him a break fr... (read in full...)
How to cross over the friends zone?
Q. Hi, i need help because i like this girl and i really want to be more than friends with her,I want To Know how to ask her to hang out with me more. im pretty shy around girls but with her i surprised myself So ill start from the beginning...
A. 15 July 2011: Invite her with you to the park again, or for a walk. Walks are brilliant, because when you are in movement it is easier to think and also feel comfortable, more so than if you are sitting still.
The only way to cross the "friend zone", is to fl... (read in full...)
She believes rules don't apply to her because she is beautiful!!
Q. i was interested in a girl I met in the metro who is a model. she's not famous or anything but makes a living doing modeling...of course she is drop dead gorgeous. but she seemed approachable. so i got to talking with her. we went on a few dates a...
A. 15 July 2011: Beautiful people might not be different, but people in GENERAL are different. She's a person who likes to live like this, and she's not the only one. It's got less to do with her looks and more to do with her choices. Plenty of gorgeous people don't ... (read in full...)
Psycho boyfriend broke up with me, stiffed me for money, now sends email to brother worried about my mental health? huh?
Q. Why is my ex-boyfriend of three years contacting my brother asking about me? He dumped me nine months ago. To say it was an ugly break-up is an understatement. He left me in a callous manner(at a destination wedding for my best friend). I was so ...
A. 15 July 2011: Do you have any proof of his owing you money? If so take it to small claims court. Get your money back if you can, so at least that doesn't have to make you feel horrible each time you remember. I had an ex do the same shitty thing to me, I lent him ... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend is cheating on me, is it all in my head or is my instinct right?
Q. I'm jealous of this girl and just by hearing her name makes me sick the entire day... I don't have proof that my boyfriend is cheating on me with this girl but I can't stop thinking about it. He always tells me nothing between them but I can't find...
A. 15 July 2011: Your gut instinct might be correct. But are there any real reasons for why you feel this way, or did it come out of nowhere?
If you have real reasons, like suspicious behaviour, or little signs here and there, it might be you are on to somethin... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong? Or was he just not ready?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about two months and our relationship has taken a relatively serious turn recently, as we both feel a very strong connection to one another and have even dropped the word "love". However, my guy has me a little puzzled ...
A. 15 July 2011: The tissue thing might have turned him off, but more likely I think he just didn't want to be a bother. Seeing as you didn't just go and get the tissue, you stayed and sort of asked him if you should get it (which could be translated as you not ... (read in full...)
What is an estimate of a healthy amount of time between relationships?
Q. Hi there What is an estimate of a healthy amount of time between relationships? I was in a long term relationship for 3 years and its like I'm clueless about dating. I'm in my late 20s and only 2 serious relationships. Last time, it was 3 months b...
A. 15 July 2011: It didn't have anything to do with failing to see his bad sides. You failed to see them not because you weren't ready, but because it is near impossible to see someones bad sides at the go. They hide them well! Besides, no matter how long it has ... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being hurt and lied to by my girlfriend!
Q. Hey, Dearcupid. This may be a bit long..but please bear with me because I desperately need help with it! I've been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years now, and we're both 17. My girlfriend went to a party with her friend and my girlfriend, h...
A. 15 July 2011: Even if a person doesn't deserve our love that doesn't mean we are incapable of loving them. Plus you must remember that your love for her grew on the premises that she would be faithful. You didn't begin to love her despite whatever cruel thing she ... (read in full...)
If an identical twin turns out to be gay/bi, would the other twin also be gay/ bi?
Q. Lets say theres a pair of identical twins, and the one twin comes out, would the other twin also be gay or bi? I'm just curious. I was watching the simpsons episode where patti comes out, and I was wondering if that would that make selma gay, ...
A. 15 July 2011: Twins can also have different eye colour or hair colour or look different... one can gain weight while the other stays thin, one likes sports and the other not. Why should sexuality be any different, all of a persons personality in the end comes ... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being hurt and lied to by my girlfriend!
Q. Hey, Dearcupid. This may be a bit long..but please bear with me because I desperately need help with it! I've been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years now, and we're both 17. My girlfriend went to a party with her friend and my girlfriend, h...
A. 14 July 2011: You're right, you don't deserve this, and alcohol is never an excuse.
The right way to deal with being cheated on is to end the relationship and leave the cheater. The friendship with your mate has also been destroyed as he betrayed you. It hurts... (read in full...)
How do you reach an agreement on how many children to have?
Q. When your married how do you and your partner decide on how many kids you want? He doesnt really like kids and he only wants one but i love kids and want atleast three. Is there a compromise we can make so were both happy? We dont want kids yet but ...
A. 14 July 2011: I think if you start off with the one you'll both be able to see how it goes and take it from there on. Maybe you will be content with the one for all you know, maybe there will be birth complications and you can only have that one, maybe he'll be ... (read in full...)
Is Cybersex/Sexting, with someone other than your spouse, cheating?
Q. Is Cybersex/Sexting, with someone other than your spouse, cheating. This is past dirty messages and includes videos of them selves being passed back and forth. I have seen for myself. He says I'm overacting since he's not physically cheating. i ...
A. 14 July 2011: It's cheating. ... (read in full...)
I'm 24 and still a virgin, is this normal?
Q. Hi cupid, I'm a "straight" guy age 24 and im still virgin.. is it normal? ...
A. 14 July 2011: Quite, yes. ... (read in full...)
What is his problem?
Q. Basically I don't know what's wrong with my friend. We used to be so close but things have changed. I don't get what's wrong with him. Last summer it was the first time he started flirting with me and I told him not to. So he avoided me for ...
A. 14 July 2011: Usually when someone flirts they do this because the like the person. More than just usual this is the actual case. He liked you! Probably still does! It isn't some game of flirting that he can just "stop" when you ask him to. He likes you, you ... (read in full...)
If an identical twin turns out to be gay/bi, would the other twin also be gay/ bi?
Q. Lets say theres a pair of identical twins, and the one twin comes out, would the other twin also be gay or bi? I'm just curious. I was watching the simpsons episode where patti comes out, and I was wondering if that would that make selma gay, ...
A. 14 July 2011: Since identical twins are not the same person, no, one being gay doesn't mean the other will be too.
If gayness was in your genes in the sense that all people with the same genes will be gay then entire families would be gay.
The jury is, ... (read in full...)
We barely talk anymore, but I can really see a future with her. What should I do?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 2.5 years and everything was fine until a couple of weeks ago. I moved home after graduating from college and she is still at school for another semester. The long distance was going well, I would visit her and ...
A. 14 July 2011: Ask her what she wants. My guess is, she doesn't know herself and doesn't know what she wants. I've seen it all too many times, and it sucks. One day they're all "I want to marry you, have your children, be with you forever and ever" or some other ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for breast size to increase while on the pill?
Q. Hello all, I've been on Microgynon 30 contraceptive pill for just under a week now. I am 22 and this is the first time I've been on the pill. I went on it mainly to try and calm down my bad periods. But I am hoping I may increase my breast size a ...
A. 14 July 2011: A few months. Mine don't change a whole cup size they just swell up, so that some tops are too small, or some of the smaller bra's I sometimes can wear will be too small. I haven't payed much attention to how long it takes before I reach "full ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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