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Is my premise possible? Is it decent folks, who try to live right, who are the people who get screwed over?

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Question - (2 February 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 3 February 2016)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Maybe it's because I am feeling really low these days- but increasingly feel that it's the decent folks and the ones who try to live right that get screwed over.

The lying, cheating, selfish ones live peacefully.

How come?

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (3 February 2016):

mystiquek agony auntIt does feel like if you are a good and kind person that bad people seem to get ahead quicker in life. To me though, it goes right along with the "life isn't fair" saying. Life isn't fair and sometimes bad people do get ahead, they get away with things and sometimes you just can't stop it. There's the jerk in the office that lies/cheats and gets the promotion that someone who really hard for was passed over for..there's the girl who sleeps with everyone and gets the nice guy with all the money...I could go on and on...

I do agree with CodeWarrior though that sometimes people get screwed over because they are too innocent or too trusting. As I've gotten older, I go along with the "I suffer no fools". I am a quiet person for the most part but I no longer take anything off of anyone and I can and do speak my mind if I feel like someone is trying to make me out to be a fool or taking advantage of me.

With all that being said..I think you have to ask yourself this...How do you feel about yourself at the end of the day? Do you like yourself? Can you live with what you do? THAT is what is most important to me. I believe in karma and sometimes baby she comes back at a person with amazing speed and vengance! I have bitten my tongue many many times to keep from saying angry hurtful things that I know at the end of the day I would regret. It just isn't worth it to me to lower myself to someone else who lies, cheats, steals ect...They have to live with themself..I have to live with me.

When you are down...it can certainly seem like only the bad guys finish first..but that isn't the case. There are many unsong heroes in the world..please remember that. Its almost always the bad news that is shown..not the good. I still believe good guys do finish first..you just don't read about it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2016):

I am in the same age group as you, OP, and I happen to agree to agree with you.

Good and decent people try to live within a moral code, which may not apply to others who screw them over. Good and decent people are also the ones who are better described as conscientious. So definitely a bad event is going to felt by them differently than someone who isn't as conscientious.

There are people who thrive on making others miserable and screwing them over, that literally is what drives them and gives them satisfaction. I doubt greatly such people are capable of empathy but they are more than capable of justifying their actions. Once someone can justify their actions in their own mind, their conscience can cease to act and bother them.

So yes, I definitely believe and have experienced it, that people who try to do the right things, are essentially good and decent, will endure more as others around them may have a different set of morals (or lack of them) and have little to no empathy.

Lastly, don't get down on yourself. Living the decent way is its own reward...don't expect good things in return for it. Doing the right thing enables conscientious people to live with themselves and be at peace.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 February 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI agree.

I doubt they (the lying, deceitful, selfish people) live more peaceful - after all THEY have to live with the knowledge of who and "what" they are.

You post reminded me of the post we get a few of here on DC - about "good guys finish last" and how they feel if ONLY they acted like asshats they would "get" what they want.

Yes, bad thing happen to good people, bad thing happen to no so good people. AND... good thing happen to both the god, the bad and the really bad. IN the end it's up to YOU make the best out of what you have. And to accept that life isn't fair. Life is life. It can be a good one, but it's not going to drop it in your lap.

And again, something things we momentarily perceive as "bad" can be a silver lining, because it leads you down a different past and maybe even gives you very different options.

Focus on the good in your life. Let go of the bad. And if you can, SHARE the good with others.

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A female reader, anonem United States +, writes (2 February 2016):

anonem agony auntEvil men will never know peace as long as there is karma.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (2 February 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI just think you are in a dark place at the moment. Believe me the people who lie, cheat and are selfish don't always have a good outcome.

If you repeatedly cheat on partners, it will catch up on you, and you will eventually become paranoid that they are doing the same, and will never be happy in a relationship.

If you are a liar, then depending on how far you will go it can also catch up on you. A lot of people may be good at lying but somewhere down the line it depresses them.

As for people who are selfish, well yes they might never change, but that doesn't mean they are happy, they may end up alone and lonely.

Not all decent people get screwed over, life is full of surprises, both good and bad, and it is how we cope with them as a person that matters. Don't let how others treat you effect your life, bounce back and allow it to make you stronger.

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