If I keep going out with him without feeling a connection, am I leading him on?
Q. I met this man and he is a nice person and I open really slowly so I usually need to spend lots of time with someone before I'm really into that person. He's a nice man, polite and seems to be very into me( calls me often, texts me, keeps asking me ...
A. 5 August 2009: He is too complex, too much hard work, dishonest, disrespectful to your wishes and acts as if nothing is wrong, I'd catch a fast moving train in the opposite direction.... (read in full...)
Should I shave my arms?
Q. Hey there so i suffer from PCOS which increases my wrong levels of hormone anyways, my prob is that I have hairy arms and the whole rest of my bod. I shave my stomach and yadi yada but I don't know if to shave my arms. My problem is that where i ...
A. 31 July 2009: Just trim it back.... (read in full...)
Can a wedding be our first date?
Q. I have been chatting online and on the telephone with a very nice gentleman--lives in my hometown, which is in another state. I am going to an out of town wedding about halfway between us--will be an overnight. He has offered to drive up to meet me ...
A. 31 July 2009: what happens if you met him and thought ho..not quite right here, but then had to take him to the wedding because thats what you agreed.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's friend said he's cheating on me, but he insists his friend's lying. I don't know if I can trust him now!
Q. I have been in a relationship for 3years now. But it has been a long distance..but since this year started he has been distancing me. And we i ask him he claims he had problem.this went on until this month. He started trying to get intouch with me ...
A. 31 July 2009: I would dump both of them. They are both playing games to the point where neither can be trusted and the web of truth and lies cannot be separated so you will always be untrustful. Just move on and start again.... (read in full...)
How do I make him stop playing with my heart?
Q. my bf and i broke up a few months ago becouse he wasnt giving his all and i was..plus i found text messages to other chicks in his phone....he denyed having sex with them but couldnt deny the fact he was doin wrong...so i broke up with him but ...
A. 29 July 2009: If you begged him to come back after he cheated on you then what message do you think that gave him, no wonder he is walking all over you, you just gave him an permission to continue abusing you. What did you expect??? Dump him.... (read in full...)
He says horrible things to me because he doesn't like my past!
Q. My boyfriend says he says things he doesn't mean when he is mad, and i should not take them personally. here is some examples : slut, whore, dirty, i am going to throw you off this balcony, you deserved to get raped no one is going to want you now, ...
A. 26 July 2009: Its a wasted effort trying to sort out this one, just tell him to f**k off and find someone who who will feel dizzy every time he looks into your eyes.... (read in full...)
She didn't tell me she cheated but says I should just "let it go" and I can't!
Q. so, i just found out by looking through my friends phone that my fiancee of just over 2 years had made out with her "best friend" an ex bf i might add. When i called her out on it she said she was going to tell me "eventually" and said it was only ...
A. 26 July 2009: Not good news Trax, I know you were really pissed off but life does come back to repay us for all we have done.... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm the only one putting the effort in, should I stop seeing this guy?
Q. Good morning all, well i have a lil problem i cant decide whether or not to continue seeing this guy. Weve been seeing each other for 2 months. Yesterday he worked over time so i texted him to let him know that if he felt like it then he could txt ...
A. 22 July 2009: Don't contact him at all and see what happens. If he gets intouch see him if you want but continue not to contact him. After a while you will find out if he wants to be with you or his friends on his network page, either way its an easy way to find ... (read in full...)
She didn't tell me she cheated but says I should just "let it go" and I can't!
Q. so, i just found out by looking through my friends phone that my fiancee of just over 2 years had made out with her "best friend" an ex bf i might add. When i called her out on it she said she was going to tell me "eventually" and said it was only ...
A. 22 July 2009: I have trouble trusting a 'friend' that tells you all this stuff about what she did, it doesn't sound right for a friend to stir you up like that. You have two choices, you can dump her and move on and start again or you can let this ride and accept ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend accuses me of flirting when I was at an industry networking event! Will this type of man ever change?
Q. I am an event management student, and our teacher organises frequent visits to exhibitions and conferences. this is a great way for us to network with industry professionals. today was the australian event business expo and was a great opportunity ...
A. 22 July 2009: You need to find another boyfriend who doesn't have insecurity issues. No point staying with him as he is unlikely to change and will continue to cause you grief your whole life. (Was that the expo at the convention centre, I was thinking of going ... (read in full...)
How come I always pick guys that are like my father?
Q. I need help my boyfriend is just like my father. He is immature, a drug addict, and alcoholic. I didn't notice at first but then in the middle of the relationship I had noticed that they were exactly alike in so many ways. My boyfriend is the same ...
A. 22 July 2009: The good news is that now that you recognise the signs you can avoid these kind of boyfriends in the future. Its sort of like going through the crap to help sort out in your mind what is the good in a person.... (read in full...)
Should I stay with him? Throughout our 3 year relationship I have been depressed and I feel like I am losing my mind!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been through alot in our relationship, he's a widower and has a little daughter. I don't know if I should stay with him. He always takes his mother in law and sister in law side (they don't like me...trust me I know they ...
A. 22 July 2009: If this is causing you such severe distress that it is leading to extreme depression then you should consider leaving him. If you look at his behaviour toward you and his family attitude to you then project this thought 5,6,7 years into the future ... (read in full...)
Why wont they accpet that I don't drink and stop pressuring me?
Q. My bf, his whole family, and his friends all keep trying to force me to drink through pressuring me. I keep telling them I dont drink, but they wont accept it, they continue to harrass me non stop. They buy me alcoholic drinks and say "you have to ...
A. 22 July 2009: You have become a challenge for them and as soon as you break they will leave you alone. The problems is that if you accept a drink then its possible they may push you to drink it all but having said that is may be possible to hold one in your hand ... (read in full...)
My friends get hit on, I don't?
Q. I am an attractive, quiet type and I am Indie...I have wild curly and can not stand to dress provocative or in loud colors. I do not have that Charlie Angel big hair nor own a pair of Audrey Hepburn (I think thats spelled corrrectly) glasses. N...
A. 22 July 2009: Its ok to hang around with friends that get hit on first as they often get the outgoing guy whose first goal is to see if he can get her into bed, so that could put you at an advantage with the quieter second guy. And those girls who can stop ... (read in full...)
Where is the love and why can't I get any?
Q. This is mainly about the relationship I have with myself; I hope that's okay...? Also, I sincerely apologize for how long this actually is and if you read through this whole thing, I applaud you... Anyhow, I was about seven when I started showing ...
A. 22 July 2009: You have so much running through your head, your post is full of lots of different themes which themselves are filled with contradictions and inconsistencies (eg telling it how it is but keeping your opinions to yourself) that further indicate a ... (read in full...)
He gets loving texts from his ex's
Q. Me and my bf have been going out for a year and a half, last year his phone went off while I was using the camera and it was a txt from his ex saying she loves him sexy etc...I found on his phone that he had been txting them back and saying I love ...
A. 22 July 2009: Time to find another boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Embarrassed about a wet dream
Q. Okay, this is embarrassing, but there's nothing for it so I might as well ask... So, I was at my girlfriend's house, and at the request of her father, we were sleeping in separate beds. In the morning as usual, she came down to wake me up, but ...
A. 22 July 2009: You could tell her that you didn't want to get intimate in her dads house. By the way who looked after the sheets?... (read in full...)
Husband looking at porn....seeking help to save my marriage
Q. Hi there, Umm this is my first time on here and I read some people's posts and well I really need an answer to my problems.I've been going to therapy for the past 2 1/2 months because my Husband of 1 year said that I'm to emotional. I did it for h...
A. 22 July 2009: Have you bought this up at therapy? I would think that it could help you to work throught the issue and find some kind of solution that you can live with. Putting that aside for the moment I can sympathise with you as will others. So lets start by ... (read in full...)
Feeling left out and a little used
Q. Does anyone have any feelings, opinions or advice on this? What would you do in this situation? I have a friend who is a mom of one of my girls' friends. We have gotten to know each other pretty well. We carpool to the kids' sports activitie...
A. 22 July 2009: I wouldn't ask her if you are a friend as she will say yes but it will seem strange too. Why is it so important that this particular person ask you out and why are you focussed on this? Is there something you need to look at within yourself. I'd be ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to plan something for us to do. How do I make this happen?
Q. how do i get the guy i like to come up with the idea to make a plan with me? is this even possible? (i heard that guys don't do so well with subtle hints many times.) i really like this guy. i want him to come over next week when my parents are g...
A. 22 July 2009: Even so, you will still need to approach him and suggest you get together and ask him if he would like to plan something. You could tell him that your parents are out and you don't want to be alone and that it would be fun to get together anyway and ... (read in full...)
Sister-in-law is showing she's very insecure by flirting.
Q. My sister-in-law has asked me out for what I thought was gratitude for taking care of her child some time ago. We have gone out twice. The last time instead she floored me claiming relationship problems she's having with my brother. That he's in ...
A. 21 July 2009: It doesn't matter whether she is flirting or not, this is just a complete and total no go zone. You need to be careful not to put yourself or her at risk and that means eg not getting involved when she rings because they are having a problem and ... (read in full...)
Oral sex with a prostitute and now I'm scared!
Q. I had oral sex with a prostitute on a stag do. I wore a condom, she also inserted her finger into my rectum but she put a condom on her finger too. I kissed her on the lips and tongue a little bit but now i am scared i have caught something, ...
A. 21 July 2009: See a doctor anyway or you will be constantly worried about it. ... (read in full...)
I attract quiet innocent guys, how to attract sexually adventurous ones?
Q. I look very sweet, lovely and innocent and so I tend to attract guys who are looking for those qualities, especially because I'm quite shy with people I've just met. The thing is, I'm actually nothing like that - I'm really wild, free and sexual. So ...
A. 21 July 2009: Wear more provocative clothes, nothing over the top but a shorter shirt, lower top with push up boobs and brighter colours, shoes are important as they say a lot about the person wearing them eg a high heel, bright colour that slightly clashes with ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to plan something for us to do. How do I make this happen?
Q. how do i get the guy i like to come up with the idea to make a plan with me? is this even possible? (i heard that guys don't do so well with subtle hints many times.) i really like this guy. i want him to come over next week when my parents are g...
A. 21 July 2009: You are being unrealistic about this, if you don't draw a very clear picture of what you want it probably won't happen. Men arn't good at reading minds and need all the help they can get to do things like this. ... (read in full...)
It bothers me that she's slept with so many people. I value sex, and she has just been giving it away
Q. my girlfriend is 19 and so am i. She has had sex with seven different guys, including me, while i've only had sex with her. Ever since she told me about that, i haven't had the same respect for her and i feel like i cant see her the same way. a lot ...
A. 21 July 2009: This is an excellent example why couples should never share their previous sexual experiences. Look at it this way, lets say you break up with her and meet someone else who you also love and have sex with but that doesn't work out and luckily ... (read in full...)
We're going to be roommates, and I'm attracted to him! Should I say something now or when we are sharing a roof?
Q. So I recently started working for a new company. About 2 months after being there, I started inquiring to some of my coworkers that I was tired of living alone and was possibly looking to get a roommate or find a new place with roommates. I was ...
A. 21 July 2009: Go with the flow, if he is or becomes interested he will let you know. Its a great opportunity to live with someone you like who will be a good friend and possibly more, just let things happen and enjoy all the steps along the way, no more ... (read in full...)
Feeling left out and a little used
Q. Does anyone have any feelings, opinions or advice on this? What would you do in this situation? I have a friend who is a mom of one of my girls' friends. We have gotten to know each other pretty well. We carpool to the kids' sports activitie...
A. 21 July 2009: No one including yourself will be invited into the tight school click, they are all like that so don't be offended. For other activities she may not think you would be interested unless you somehow let her know. Maybe you could invite her and ... (read in full...)
We were all gossiping but they have turned me into the scapegoat!
Q. Hello, I really need your help on this issue because I am getting very depressed with this matter. I’ll try to be as short as possible as I respect that it’s no fun for you to read long stories. We are three women working in the same office...
A. 21 July 2009: In that case the problem isn't so much the supposed gossiping but rather the people you work with. You need to evaluate who are your friends and minimise your time with the rest. Clearly you have been unfairly treated by people you should stay away ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a lump on his penis and won't go to get it checked. Help!
Q. Hi, I know this isn't anything to do with relationships, but I'm worried for my boyfriend, he had a little lump on his penis and you can move it around and he won't get it seen to which really annoys me, he thinks it might be cancer and won't get it ...
A. 21 July 2009: Tell him you are too scared to have sex with him in case you make it worse because you don't know what it is, that should do it.... (read in full...)
Help! I'm in love with a guy 7 years older than me!
Q. it all started when he became a youth leader for my youth club we chatted and stuff and it was fun. then i started going to the church their with my friend who also feels she is in love with him. he helped me convert my life to become a christian ...
A. 20 July 2009: I think he is playing you, manipulation is not a nice thing at the best of times but worse if you are so young. If he is also moody and jealous and it seems the case I suggest you keep your distance. Guys that start off nice and end up like this can ... (read in full...)
Am I pathetic or is it normal to feel like this for so long?
Q. Hi, Some of you may remember me from a while ago. Last June after going through a very unloving, frigid time due to the menopause (I think) I found my husband had been texting a work colleague and continued to do so (I naively assumed it had stop...
A. 20 July 2009: You know if this keeps up it will be you who takes the joy out of your relationship not her. If you can't work this out on your own you will need to see a psychologist who can help you with managing your uncontrolled thoughts. Having said that I can ... (read in full...)
He replied "maybe you do love me more" when I said "I love you more". What does this mean?
Q. hi there, I am a little confused and I hope you can help me clarify this situation with your responses. Here goes, my boyfirend and I have been going out for almost 9 months now, we are both in our early 30's. He has never had a proper girlf...
A. 20 July 2009: Don't analyse it, he just agreed with you, you do love him more...so?... (read in full...)
I'm worried my best friend will hate me for liking his little sister!
Q. Hey, when first started High School I met this guy in my year and we hit it off and became best friends straight away and still are now. I'm over at his house so often, I basically live there (I don't really get on with my family), his parents see ...
A. 20 July 2009: Having a relationship with his sister will change your friendship with her brother almost certainly in a negative way. It depends which friendship you value the most, its one or the other but not both.... (read in full...)
How do I do what's right by my friend? He's just had a baby and wants to leave his fiancee for me!
Q. well im 17 , and my friend who is 22 has been in a relationship for around 4 years , his fiancee has just had a baby but he didnt seem to happy , he was scared of being a daddy eventhough he loves his daughter to bits , he asked me advice on being ...
A. 20 July 2009: Tell him that if he flirts with you again you will have to stop seeing him completely. That should include no phone calls and no sms or emails...be tough about this or you could be partly responsible for them separating and you don't want to live ... (read in full...)
What did I do wrong this time?
Q. we have been together for 1 and a half now, by now i know when he is upset with me. today he is in other one of those sarcastic moods, yesterday we had a little bit of a dispute, he would normally tell me if he is going to the race track or if he is ...
A. 20 July 2009: If this is part of a pattern then not only will it not get better but it will get worse, it may be time to learn to live without him.... (read in full...)
We were all gossiping but they have turned me into the scapegoat!
Q. Hello, I really need your help on this issue because I am getting very depressed with this matter. I’ll try to be as short as possible as I respect that it’s no fun for you to read long stories. We are three women working in the same office...
A. 20 July 2009: As the women wants the matter finished with you need to respect her wishes and not bring it up again even to justify your position, accept this as your lesson for gossiping.... (read in full...)
He keeps doing these stupid things!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for eleven years off and on.i was 14 he was 16 and we have been threw so much i guess u can say we've both hurt eachother.he is my bestfriend and i love him with all my heart.we just got back together after being apart ...
A. 20 July 2009: Your are right, time to go. There will be more pain in staying then going.... (read in full...)
No sex on my wedding night!
Q. I am writing this a day after getting married. We had a really special day and we retired to our room about 1am. My wife looked amazing and I couldn't wait to consumate the marriage. Unfortunately despite my advances she simply was not interest...
A. 20 July 2009: Given that it was 1am with a baby and completely exhausted I'd be surprised if you did have sex and just because she wasn't interested the next morning doesb't surprise me given the exhaustion of the previous day. if you keep pushing it you may ... (read in full...)
I love my teacher and I accept that we can't be, but I've moved and I miss him too much
Q. I know you've all heard this one a million times before, and I've searched this site for a possible answer to my worries, but I just can't seem to find one for me. I'm 15 years old and I live in the UK. Plus, I'm deeply in love with my teacher....
A. 20 July 2009: The only response you need is the one you have just read from 'nikki' her words are filled with the wisdom of one who has experienced your pain and survived it.... (read in full...)
Is he leading me on again?
Q. Why would a guy tell you he still has feelings for you and wants to see you again, then comes over and hangs out for a while and hasnt contacted you again and it's been three days? Is it all lies or should I just wait to see what happens? If he's ...
A. 20 July 2009: Sit back and see what happens, he could be flat out at work etc. Three days is not unusal for a guy. Either way you can't force him to ring and if time goes by with no response then you know its a dead end. However there is absolutely nothing wrong ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps calling me crazy
Q. My boyfriend of almost two years keeps telling me I am acting crazy because when we have problems all I want is to talk to him so we can work things out. He does not pick up the phone when I call. He does not reply back when I instant message him. I ...
A. 20 July 2009: You are too full on and are suffocating him. You should have stopped when he wouldn't answer his phone or respond to your sms. You can't force him to listen to you, he thinks your crazy because he feels pursued by you. You seem very insecure and ... (read in full...)
If I keep going out with him without feeling a connection, am I leading him on?
Q. I met this man and he is a nice person and I open really slowly so I usually need to spend lots of time with someone before I'm really into that person. He's a nice man, polite and seems to be very into me( calls me often, texts me, keeps asking me ...
A. 13 July 2009: If he doesn't laugh with you or understand you, has nothing in common with you and you can't communicate with him then why do you think you should be spending time with him. Put him out of his suffering and let him go.
... (read in full...)
She didn't tell me she cheated but says I should just "let it go" and I can't!
Q. so, i just found out by looking through my friends phone that my fiancee of just over 2 years had made out with her "best friend" an ex bf i might add. When i called her out on it she said she was going to tell me "eventually" and said it was only ...
A. 25 June 2009: No doubt she did the wrong thing by you and I understand why you are so upset. Look at it this way, she kissed him but chose to stay with you, tells me that the 10 second kiss wasn't so good after all. ... (read in full...)
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