She's 12 and I have feelings for her
Q. ok so, i went to my friends birthday party yesterday and his sister had a couple of friends round ... there was this girl who just seemed to make something click in my brain and she was pretty funny for her age ... but the only problem (or is it a ...
A. 21 June 2009: At your age hormones are popping all over the place and sometimes they focus on someone who should not be in the picture. Recognise this, move on and allow your antenna to find someone closer to your age group.... (read in full...)
I want a serious relationship but unsure if she feels the same?
Q. I was widowed last year and have recently met someone else. We agreed it to be as friends but i find myself wanting to be with her more and more. We have planned a short break in a couple of months but have booked separate rooms as she doesnt s...
A. 21 June 2009: Do exactly what you have been doing as this is clearly working for you. The intimacy you both show in public indicates that you are far closer to a solid relationship then you realise. She wants to take things slowly and you need to give her the ... (read in full...)
Why is dating so hard when you're a plus size woman?
Q. Well I hope someone can relate! Ok I'm a plus size woman. I'm 5 ft 7 inches tall and weight around 290. I'm on the plan with my dr to lose weight before I have weight loss surgery.I'm having the lapband done at the end of the year. I've found dating ...
A. 21 June 2009: You need to love yourself before people. When you lose heaps of weight and look more like you want to be and feel like a real bombshell (as I know you will be) have a look at someone who is really obese and see if you are attracted to them and then ... (read in full...)
At my sleepover my friends trashed me as soon as I was out of the room and then left in the middle of the night!
Q. I've known for a while that something hasn't been right with me and my friends, but I thought it was something small that we could sort out. But then at my sleepover for my birthday I went upstairs and as soon as I had they started bitching really ...
A. 21 June 2009: See the school councellor, she has seen this story repeated hundreds of times over. She will advise and support you. Organise with her so you can leave class at any time to see her or at least to leave class to have some time out away from them. ... (read in full...)
I've been promiscious in the past, and now karma has hit me with guilt
Q. I'm 25. I've been in a relationship since 15 with the same person. We live together for 4 years now. Overall... I have to say the passion and love is there. We're both very confident about that. However, being we started so young (he was 18 now 28) ...
A. 21 June 2009: Feeling guilty is exactly what you need as its pain will remind you to remain faithful, without it you would be as you have always been. With guilt comes paranoia, this is the worlds way of telling you that your actions have consequences and that if ... (read in full...)
I'm 18, mature and like older women
Q. I'm an 18 year old guy, and I am very mature for my age.When someone whom I don't know asks me my age, and I tell them 18, they usually say "wow I thought you were at least 22 or 23".The problem is I always seem to be interested in women who are in ...
A. 21 June 2009: The age difference is not an issue. If someone finds you attractive they will want to get to know you regardless of your age. ... (read in full...)
They cheated at my house! How do I stay out of the middle?
Q. Where do I start? My best friend just revealed to me tonight that she cheated on her husband, at my house, with my husband's best friend. My husband is now worried because his best friend is engaged and the girl he is engaged to has a family with ...
A. 21 June 2009: So you should be angry about it. She compromised you and your husband by doing this at your house and you need to tell her that. Let her know that you and your husband are upset about it and that you thought she would have been more considerate of ... (read in full...)
What can cause a man lose sexual interest in his wife?
Q. What can cause a man lose sexual interest in his wife? Is it something very common,or it isn't? Are most marriages going toward no sexual intimacy? Because its hard to know what goes on, if your life is different from others/ So ,what is REA...
A. 21 June 2009: Its a really good question and one that is not often asked, and should be. There are lots of reasons but lets start with some common ones. Women aren't the only ones who lose interest as they move into their change of life men do too, any source of ... (read in full...)
He wants oral sex every day and is going on porn sites
Q. I am 40 years old with and have 2 grown children. I have been in a relationship for 6+ years now and was actually proposed to a few months ago. Things have really been going great.... until lately, I have recently become unemployed, to which my ...
A. 21 June 2009: Visiting the porn sites is an issue of concern especially as he is on them daily, its also the reason why he wants you to perform oral sex. I'm confused as to why you agreed to do this on a daily basis and continue to do so. As you are doing this ... (read in full...)
What did his comment "it would kill two birds with one stone" mean? I'm not sure what to do and if I'm overreacting.
Q. 8 years ago I met a man at work, after going through lots of horrible relationships and a alcoholic dad. I wanted to be finally happy. He made me happy, he was a nice sweet kind guy. We worked together for 3 years before we started dating, once we ...
A. 20 June 2009: Why is the room mate still living with you? I would find that would limit the opportunities for giving intimacy and affection on a daily basis. His statement is ambugious and unclear so you do need to ask him what he meant, he will make light of ... (read in full...)
We're great friends, but fear our friendship will fade when I graduate
Q. i'm not looking to seduce my teacher, nor do i believe i am in love with him. but he has been a wonderful friend this past year for me (as well as my teacher). he has given me advice, talked to me about problems, etc. along with our regular fun ...
A. 20 June 2009: It will happen but that is the way life is sometimes.... (read in full...)
I have feelings for this older boy...would it work or not?
Q. I think i have feelings for this older boy but he has a girlfriend which he says he doesn't like her because she stalks him and he feels more comfortable around me but lately when i try to call him he doesn't answer and i feel so hurt. i really ...
A. 20 June 2009: At some stage you will be in contact with him so you can talk to him about it then, however if you can't wait try a few more time and if he doesn't respond then you have to move on as it would be clear that he doesn't have similar feelings for you.... (read in full...)
My co worker embarrassed me
Q. One time I envited my co worker to my vacant apartment which I was not residing on for months. I decided to stop by with her to pick up a bill to pay. She decides to use the bathroom. Honestly i did not know that the toilet bowl was dirty. She went ...
A. 20 June 2009: You cannot do anything more then to bring it to her attention, you have done the right thing and there is nothing more you can do. ... (read in full...)
She only sees me when there isn't a man in the picture!
Q. I have a very good friend, sue, who Ive known for years now and I would call her one of my best friends. She is in a relationship with a guy and they have a child together. But their relationship is quite rocky and they are always splitting up and ...
A. 20 June 2009: She is using you especially since you spoke to her and she is aware of your feelings about this. Friendship has to go both ways and that includes seeing each other as well as being there for each other, its time to walk away from her as things won't ... (read in full...)
I just don't think he's the one
Q. me and my friend have been friends for near over two years. and he told me recently that he loved me and thought we were ment to be together but we live in different countrys he doesnt work enough for us to be able to see each other more than twice ...
A. 20 June 2009: If you feel this way and you only see him twice a year then I think you know why it won't work. Just tell him how you feel, he's a good friend and will be disappointed but he will still be your friend.... (read in full...)
I hate having sex. I would be happy if I wasn't touched at all!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and before that were together for 5 years. I hate having sex. Sex to me is painful, a waste of time, and unfulfilling. Basically the only reason I do it lately is to make my husband happy (and we don't ...
A. 19 June 2009: See your doctor for a referral to an appropriate specialist as your problem cannot be solved through an advice line. Intimacy and physical contact for men is absolutely essential to a healthy and loving relationship it helps them feel loved and ... (read in full...)
My husband says if I engage in a threesome just once, he'll stop the flirting and porn...
Q. Please Help if you can! My hubby is overseas til September..since he has been gone he has been signing up on singles sites as single, going to porn sites and even sent a sex letter to a gal that is supposed to be my friend..now, I know he has ...
A. 19 June 2009: He is too far gone. Laying down the law etc its gone beyond that. He will never be what he was when you first married him as he has crossed the line and gone even beyond that.... (read in full...)
Mood swings are ruining my relationship
Q. hello, i need some advice please, i am ruining my relationship with my boyfriend with my mood swings. i always take things the wrong way even when i know hes only joking. if i txt him a few times and have no reply i start txting him stuff like why...
A. 19 June 2009: The moods and feelings are clearly out of your control and cannot be modified even when you are aware of them. These kind of extreme mood swings with feelings of paranoia need to be assessed at by a professional preferably a psychiatrist as you ... (read in full...)
He says "the devil made him do it"
Q. i work full time and I really don't get see to my boyfriend (of 2 years) very often. When I went to a birthday party with him on my very few day offs. Well he said needed make a phone call which took half an hour. I got worried and looking for him. ...
A. 19 June 2009: He did it not the devil, this would have to be the most lame excuse I have ever heard. He did not take any responsibility for his actions, when will the devil convince him to do it again? By the way having sex so soon after him cheating sent him the ... (read in full...)
The guy I have a crush on...
Q. I don't know whether the guy is noticing me or he is just turning a blind eye. Here is my story: we attend the same classes by the way we are third year students at the noth west university Mafikeng cumpas, whenever I see this guy I can't ...
A. 19 June 2009: You need to settle down as your imagination has run far beyond reality. You are infatuated. Nothing real has happened and if you want to see if he is interested then you need to say hello and if he talks o you then you can explore further if he ... (read in full...)
Does he want me back? Please help...
Q. After a year of dating, my boyfriend broke up with me. I tried to get him back in the first few weeks. Then I completely backed off. Slowly I started hearing from him. maybe once a week. then twice a week. now, we talk about 5x a week. We both ...
A. 19 June 2009: The fact that he is taking to you indicates that he is still interested, Generally when guys break up its difficult to maintain the kind of relationship your talking about and have a girlfriend at the same time. He knows you have feelings for him. ... (read in full...)
What does my lover mean by these words?
Q. I would like some help please, I am having an affair with a married man and have been for many years. So please no "you shouldn't be doing this" comments thanks. We have a strange relationship and neither of us can say goodbye to it but it has me w...
A. 19 June 2009: He is having free sex with no strings attached of course he doesn't want you to fall in love with him. He doesn't care about you at all, but it does sound like you are very much attached and heading for a big fall.... (read in full...)
Choosing between 2 people...
Q. at the start of my level three course i meat this guy(for privacy reasons I'll use the name (matt) and we became like best mates i even put some of my longer friendships aside for him, its like he was my reason to go to college, and one day he told ...
A. 19 June 2009: As you want to have a great birthday with no complications don't have sex with Jamie before you go. When your birthday is over and you have returned you can then make a decision about being with him or not. If he doesn't like that then you will ... (read in full...)
I keep my mouth shut to support my friend... what else can I do?
Q. I know this site is normally for love relationships, but what about friendships? I have a friend who I met when we were 13. Her parents were both extremely abusive towards her. Countless times she would call me crying about the horrific things they ...
A. 18 June 2009: You don't have much choice but to keep doing what you have already been doing and that's being there for her. I know it is hard to watch someone when they are suffering or screwing up their life. In your friends case she is already receiving ... (read in full...)
How to break destructive cycle in our marrige?
Q. Does anyone have ideas on how to break what has become a destructive cycle in our marriage. Namely, when we are angry and arguing (which is normal), things escalate to the point where he is calling my every filthy thing that comes to his mind and I ...
A. 17 June 2009: I think this is one you need to see a professional about. We can give heaps of advice but it will require an effort from you both, you can't just do it from your end. This is confirmed by the violent explosions when arguing, if you have any chance ... (read in full...)
Abandoned by my husband
Q. A year and a half ago, I left my home and my family to immigrate and be with the man I was in love with. We married, moved in together, got a cat etc. I thought we were happy, and I suppose in the beginning we were. But he told me about a month ago ...
A. 16 June 2009: The comments made by "Old Guy' is good advice but you did not mention which country you immigrated to as this is important so we can give you the appropriate advice. Get back if you can and let us know so your problem can be properly assessed. On ... (read in full...)
Is this just a way of keeping me around with no strings?
Q. i meet the most wounderful guy 8mons ago. we got along great until i had a miscarrage. he became very distant and we started arguing alot. we decided to break up and give ourselves time to think. we didnt change anything. we still were together ...
A. 16 June 2009: Since the change in your relationship occurred just after the miscarrige it is very likely that this is the reason. I agree with the previous writer, you need to have a heart to heart talk to work out what is happening inside his head. He acts like ... (read in full...)
Heartbroken at 40?
Q. this has been going on for months now. at first i must admit i was not interested in him, and, suddenly, i found myself enjoying when he's around. he's 37, i am 41.(it's complicated already without mentioning i am a single mom with preschoolers ...
A. 16 June 2009: He probably found you to be an interesting person and was inquisitive, but thats all. Asking him to a church meeting was ok but it obviously isn't his thing. He may also feel that you want to take this beyond a relaxed easy going friendship, so he ... (read in full...)
I really liked him but he stole money from me!
Q. i really liked this guy, and we only met acouple times but fe flirted with me and acted as if he liked me and i really liked him and i still do but he hasnt talked to me since spring break after he stole my money. and i still really really like him. ...
A. 15 June 2009: He meets you, flirts with you steals from you and then escapes with the money. You met a loser, find someone who cares about you and not your purse.... (read in full...)
My bf left me after 11 years but he still texts me...
Q. my boyfriend left me for another women he moved straight in with her, after our 11 happy years togther. he never stopped texting me he used to end me a text once a week and since the 20th may i had about 25 texts some saying how was your weekend, ...
A. 15 June 2009: He is probably keeping you 'on line' in case he needs to come back sort of like a back up plan. I suggest you block his number then you won't have to agonise over his messages or the temptation to respond. Throw his clothes in the bin he's not worth ... (read in full...)
Is a good idea to sleep with a good friend?
Q. I have had a few boyfriends in my time, but i have never gone 'all the way' with any of them, coz i have never felt like they deserve it. but im now almost 18 and my best guy friend and i have been talking alot. then it ended up with us both ...
A. 15 June 2009: I would advise that you wait for 'the right' person to come along. You could lose a good friend and you don't want to do that as good friends are rare and worth keeping, he may have forgotten that as well. Wait, the right guy and the right time is ... (read in full...)
If I ask for sex she blows up!
Q. my wife and i have been married for 7 years. things have not been good lately. my wife works nights, and when we get a night togather all i want is to be with her. she acts like she wants nothing to do with me at night. the day time we spend time ...
A. 15 June 2009: Her not wanting sex does not reflect on her love for you and she is not rejecting you directly. Her working nights is playing havoc with her body clock and hormones. You also said that she has been highly strung and having trouble slowing down, she ... (read in full...)
My mum has hated him for 3 years, how do I tell her I'm pregnant with his child?
Q. i met this guy when i was 14, there was a group of us and we'd never met him before. i instantly fell for him. he was absolutly gorgeous! 20 year old 6ft tall, dark hair, blue eyes, 6 pac, he was like something from a magazine! haha. noo waaayyyy ...
A. 14 June 2009: Looking at this from your mums perspective I can see why she has been concerned about you, being so young, dating an older guy etc Telling her isn't going to be easy and she will probably be upset(very) but you have to do it regardless of the ... (read in full...)
How can I leave him after 23 years? Hes making my life hell!
Q. I am in a realtionship for 23 years, we have a 15 year old daughter. We are not married, that is not the issue. The issue is, we get no respect, I am constantly getting yelled at like I am a verbal punching bag by both my daughter and her dad, ( ...
A. 14 June 2009: It was good to hear 'pinkgoblins' story as well as your own, it shows some hope. Seek advice first from an organisation designed to help people in your position. They will tell you what can and can't be done eg eventhough he has control of the ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get my lazy boyfriend motivated?
Q. i dont know what to do with my boyfriend. he has no direction in his life, and he just wants to do things "his way". i tried telling him to go to collage with me to make our future easier, but he says hes not ment for collage.i even asked him if he ...
A. 14 June 2009: Move on. He will drag you down and is not worth the time and effort which you could use to better your own life. I do admire your willingness to have a better life through education, you are clearly a self motivated person who sees better things for ... (read in full...)
Should my past not matter to him?
Q. this guy and i have been together for about 8 months but never officially dating. its driving me crazy that i want to be his actual girlfriend. we act like we are anyway. he's always asking me about my past. i dont have a good sexual reputation and ...
A. 14 June 2009: Your past has nothing to do with your present relationship. We need the freedom of past experiences to grow and become the people we are today. Its the kind of person we have become that should be important to your partner. You mentioned that you ... (read in full...)
I would love to go to her party...
Q. Hi guys, I'm sure everyone has been through something like this, so i'm hoping your experience can help me out here :) Okay, so there's this girl who I quite like and she is having a birthday party soon. Quite a few of my friends are invited, b...
A. 14 June 2009: I think you want to go so you can hang out with your friends and have a good time which is fine but if she did not ask you then you were not on her list for some reason. I would leave it at that and see your friends the next day, after all its her ... (read in full...)
Is our relationship a recipe for disaster?
Q. I have been in a relationship for over two years with a girl who recently said she needs some space to think about things and to think about if she can be romantically attatched to me again. She admittedly believes that we had an incredible sex ...
A. 14 June 2009: You need to move on. There are a lot of reasons why you should do this but you already know them. Look at it this way, can you see yourself having kids with her and giving her the responsibility of bringing them up. Can she provide a stable loving ... (read in full...)
I cheated, she met another man, should we stay together?
Q. My gal was a virgin when i met her and unfortunately i was too. I say unfortunately coz i had a fuck buddy sometime after i met her. After i broke up that really had a toll on her and i made up after realisin i made a mistake, about 3weeks after we ...
A. 14 June 2009: Its not about whether you should keep her (she is not a possession) but whether you can or should both be together. You both have a lot of issues with each other and because of this it might be best to start again with someone else.... (read in full...)
How long after a break up is it acceptable to start dating again?
Q. Hi there. Where to start. It all started about 4 months when I met this really great girl at a job programme scheme. At first I just saw her as a possible new friend. But after a week we were talking everyday. Either online or by texting. But ...
A. 14 June 2009: You will need to wait as long as it will take her to tell you she is ready for a deeper relationship noone can put a timeframe on that. In the meantime maintain the contact and continue being her friend. She already knows you have fallen for her so ... (read in full...)
My wife is not interested in sex anymore.
Q. My wife of 6 years is not interested in sex. In all other respects our relationship is excellent. We get on really well with no arguments or disagreements, and are each other's best friends. But since day one she has had a low sex drive, and show...
A. 14 June 2009: You sound like a caring and loving husband I'm glad you shared this with us as there are too many negative images of husbands. I agree with what babyduck and KiwiiTOS have said.I think Kiwiitos is right, sit down and tell her exactly what you have ... (read in full...)
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