A
female
age
41-50,
*licka23
writes:Hello,I really need your help on this issue because I am getting very depressed with this matter. I’ll try to be as short as possible as I respect that it’s no fun for you to read long stories. We are three women working in the same office. During the absence of one colleague, the two colleagues started to say a lot of nasty things on her. They gossiped for long hours on her and told me what this colleague told on me. Apparently, she said that she finds that my work is of poor quality, that I love sex and I like to turn on male officers. I know that she has always had a bad opinion on me; she’s the type of woman who has too much esteem for herself and thinks that she’s better than others. I know she has criticised my work in the past, so I guess what the other woman said was true. Unfortunately, I did the biggest mistake in my life when I too I started to gossip on her. I did not say such nasty things on her as the others but I said a few things. I know I should not have participated but what she said on me annoyed me. The problem is that one of the women was in a fury when she listened to what I said and pick up the phone to talk to her. Of course she denied everything and now I have become the scapegoat as if these two are innocent and I’m the only nasty person. They said such nasty things on her and yet they are shouting at me. I cannot accept to be blamed for everything, I admit I have my part but the others said nastier things on her. I tried to tell her but as usual she downlooks me and said that she does not want to listen anymore to these gossips. I think she has chosen on which side she wants to be. However, I want the truth to be out, I cannot accept to be the naughty one in all this. So I would be very grateful to you if you could advise me what to do in this situation. I thank you very much for your precious time and advice.
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, flicka23 +, writes (22 July 2009):
flicka23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks a lot for your precious help. As many of you has said, let this serve as a lesson for me. I will never again say anything on anyone. I know the two had a conversation on Saturday and I find it really disgusting that one of the gossiper dared to point a finger at me when she said so many mean things on the other colleague. To be honest I don't bother myself at all about her, she's a wicked being. However, I do feel that I did wrong to the other colleague and as you suggested I will try to talk to her.
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 In that case the problem isn't so much the supposed gossiping but rather the people you work with. You need to evaluate who are your friends and minimise your time with the rest. Clearly you have been unfairly treated by people you should stay away from. As far as your superior is concerned you may want to ask her for a coffee and quietly and sensibly talk to her explaining the 'misunderstanding' while at the same time not blaming others in case she has a close relationship with one of them.
...............................
A
female
reader, flicka23 +, writes (21 July 2009):
flicka23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not trying to lessen my fault but I did not gossip as the others did. I only said that I am under the impression that........... Words that I never mentioned were used. I too I was offended that my image and my work are being tarnished by what she said on me but I did not react like the other one who called her. I'm sure when they talked they have treated me like a big piece of shit.
...............................
A
female
reader, malibugirl  +, writes (20 July 2009):
You could write down what you want to say so then people have to read what you're saying, it could stop the shouting. Everyone gossips/bitches/talks about other people. Apologise for anything negative you said and explain your reasoning behind why you said what you did.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): i know you gossiped but this isnt all your fault
just dont do it again and maybe send her an email. that way she can calm down and read it? your far better than all of them put together, girls are such bitches
...............................
A
male
reader, Your friend +, writes (20 July 2009):
As the women wants the matter finished with you need to respect her wishes and not bring it up again even to justify your position, accept this as your lesson for gossiping.
...............................
|
