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Almost 14 and I've never had a boyfriend! Am I the only girl in the world without one?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2006) 48 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2010)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hiya everyone!

I have a very embarrasing problem, I am nearly 14 and I have never had a boyfriend. It's really embarrasing for me when my friends talk about all their boyfriends.

The problem wouldn't be so bad if I didn't want a boyfriend, but I would love someone to hug, and find out what snogging is really like.

I think the main reason that I don't approach the lads I fancy and ask them out myself is because I am scared of rejection, and looking stupid.

Another problem is that I feel guilty when boys ask me out, and I end up saying 'yes' to boys I don't want to go out with. How can I politely turn them down without embarrassing them?

I need help, will boys ever be interested in me, will I ever have a boyfriend, will I ever be able to politely turn boys down? PLEASE HELP! I just want someone to hug and kiss, and just find out what having a boyfriend is like. I must be the only girl my age who hasn't been out with a lad.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010):

i am in the same position as you and wondering the same thing, so your not the only one. boys ask me out but i dont know whether to go out with them or not so i simply say no. then i realise a little later on that i do like them but i dont have the courage to ask them out. so im back to square one again. some of my friends who i bother with have had boy friends and some havent but i feel im ready to have one now. i know how you feel! i think if u have got the courage to ask them out then do it, if they say no then simply say ok maybe a different time.

doubt this will help just wanted you to know that your not alone with this issue :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010):

I am already 14 and a half, and i dont have a boyfriend, and i dont really want to. dont worry, ona day you will find someone

when find him, you will understand that its the one you need and want to be with. so dont worry, it will come with time, and dont try to FIND him. Its not a good thing, when you get a boyfriend just because all your friends have one or because you want someone to hug you. when you really fall in love for the first time you ll be happy with him. So dont worry at all, and dont be afraid to be different from your friends. it will come with time. I know what I am saying. Believe me, please.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010):

Do not worry! I am 14 as well and have never had a boyfriend. I have many 15 year old friends who have also never had a boyfriend. I really do want one, but the best way to get one is to just be yourself. Don't wear too much make up and don't act conceited or like a total slut. Just act like you have a sense of humor or a nice person. Thats what guys like.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010):

Hi, i'm 14 and I for one have never kissed a guy. I nearly did with my last (and only) boyfriend but I chickened out. Good luck that I did anyway because he was cheating on me anyway. I'm a lot more attracted to boys now and I'm hoping that they like me too. I'm just waiting on that special guy. :D

At my school I have the reputation as a 'boffin' and I hate it. I'm not a boff and I think it's holding me back a lot.

To say no politely just say; sorry but I don't think it would work out, ok?

DON'T WORRY

The right guy wil show up someday, for both of us. lol

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010):

when i was 14 i felt just about the same way you do. the reason you feel this way is cause of people you go to school with. they all have done stuff with guys and it makes you curious and you feel left out. the best thing to do is just not give a crap what anybody thinks, be stubborn, and just do what you want. just keep faith, wait your time, and it will happen the way god has planned.

MY STORY: my first boyfriend was halfway through the 9th grade. i was 14 and a half and all the boy was looking for was sex. however, i was too dumb and love struck to see that at the time. all i knew was he said he loved me and he always wanted to be with me and i believed him. while the boy tried to have sex with me early on, i wouldnt go all the way because it was against my good beliefs. however, i didnt have a problem with experimenting with just doing other stuff, which was not just kissing, hugging, and holding hands like i had imagined. i was so inexperienced when he had had many other girlfriends. before this, i had never even imagined having any form of sex with a boy or letting him touch me down there and me doing the same to him, but we did just about everything without going all the way. we broke up after 4 months because he cheated, and i cried and cried for like 5 days. then i hated him. now i am much more experienced and i have a bf of 6 months that i think i love, but we're taking it slow because i dont want to do anything stupid AGAIN like last time.

if you're a smart girl, hold onto your innocence as long as you can, because anything to do with love or boys or emotions is the last thing you want to mess up. its a very touchy subject so just remember that young teens are full of it and they just want to look better than everyone else, so be better than them and just dont give a f*** what they think, the right guy will come along sooner or later. ... and if he doesnt youll still be happy because you dont care about any stupid boys who only want to stick their peckers in something.

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A female reader, music95 United States +, writes (29 December 2009):

im 14 too and i never had a boy friend before either. I guess im just scared to be with someone and afraid they wont like me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009):

hi i read your story and im 14 and ive had two boyfriends and they only lasted for like a day and every body is like omg have you ever had a boyfriend and i always just say no dont worry about it...i dont think that you have anything to worry about because you will find someone that will care for you...besides you have the rest of your life to get there and theres no need to rush something that doesnt need to happen...hope i helped byebye!!! =)

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A female reader, shannieg08 United States +, writes (1 December 2009):

alright its 3 almost four years later... probably by now you may of had a boyfriend but don't worry if you still don't the longest and only relationship i had ever had was for 4 hours. so sometimes it doesn't even count especially since that was almost 5 years ago. i am 19 now and i have just recently come to realize that having a boyfriend isn't everything in the world. guys who are in their teens and early twenties are very immature don't really pay attention to anything that isn't wearing a short skirt and tons of make-up. all you need really right now is your friend and your family and you are set for a long time and when that special someone comes around. you will be with him in no time.

(* peace, Love and chicken fingers*)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009):

Hey, I'm 14 too I have never had a boyfriend. Only one guys in my life has told me that he likes me, I met him at camp last year and he told me on the last day :( also, only 2 guys have ever said that I'm pretty and they only saw pictures and I've never met them in person, they are people my friends know.

But anyways don't worry you're not the only one. There are plenty of girls who haven't had a boyfriend yet. So don't worry you will find someone soon who will be perfect 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009):

trust me ur not the only 1

without a boyfriend im 14 and i dont have

one either.

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A female reader, lala.love United States +, writes (19 July 2009):

it's okay. i never had a boyfriend when i was your age either. my first boyfriend was when i was 15 and i'm 18 now and still with him. i know how you feel. i was the last person in my grade to have a boyfriend. you'll find the right guy soon and when you do you'll love him. just remember you're not the only one out there.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009):

Hi im 14 and it seems like i've become boy crazy the last 2 months. I'm going to high school and I've still never had a boyfriend. Theres been guys that tell me they like me but never do anything about it. At least you've had a guy as you out before. All my friends have had one. Don't get to down on yourself though. Our time will come. (Soon I hope)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009):

heyy

im sure the right gut will come along soon enough!

my tip is dont go out looking for a boyfriend, this NEVER works, just wait and they will come.

and by the way im 14 and i have a boyfriend, and i love him very much, but believe me it is way better being single!!! so enjoy it!!

the right guy for you will come along soon!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009):

No! i have only had one boyfriend and he was a total idiot!

He didnt even like me much!

BE PROUD TO BE SINGLE GIRL , I AM!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009):

Hey :) Im in the exact same position as you! I thought i was the only one in the world, but its great to now im not. Though my friends have had boyfriends, none have been long term relationships and havent had one since they was 12.

You no what the problem is.

Youre too good for them all! (Thats what i think and my friends tell me) So dont put yourself down!

Mr.Right will come along one day. Who knows, that day could be tomorrow.

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A female reader, justcallmeCarls United States +, writes (11 April 2009):

Hey----

Look I'm 14 too, and I've never had a boyfriend either. I mean, i probably would have a boyfriend if they were cuter and didn't all do pot. So don't be upset that you don't have one NOW. You'll get one soon, believe me. =D

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008):

Yea, don't worry, i am in the same boat...It kinda sucks hereing everyone else talk... I know guys have liked me before, but I always denie it for some reason.. weird huh!? The bad thing is, is that I'm one of the biggest flirts in my grade, and I'm smart.. hehe your time will come when its suppose to

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008):

Hey. im 15 and a freshman in high school. i can totally relate to you because I've never had boyfriend. I've never kissed anyone and I've never had anyone ask me out. I am almost 5 months into my freshman year and think why dont i have a boyfriend yet. Dont worry about anything because sooner or later you will get a boyfriend, just like I will get one. i like this one boy who is very cute, but i dont know how he feels about me because i am too shy to talk to him. i always think the same thing as you, wondering if I'm the only one in the world without a boyfriend. all i see today is my friends or people who i think would never get a boyfriend get one and im sick of it. someday we'll get a boyfriend, but one of those days will be the day we get one. always remember good things happen to those who wait. i try to live by this saying, but i always think, ive waited long enough and why hasnt anything good happened to me. love waits, but only for the people who really deserve it. we deserve it, and love will wait for us when the time is right.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008):

I know exactly how you feel! I'm a fifteen-year-old about to finish up my sophomore year, and I've never had a boyfriend or even anyone who has asked me out. Well, there is this one boy in school who has a crush on me but I don't like him back. I do have a crush on another guy but I don't know if I'll ever have the chance to talk to him. Trust me! You are not alone when it comes to not having a boyfriend.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008):

Last year I was a disaster with boys. I was so shy and nervous around them.

So what's happened til now?

I've kissed four boys, i don't have a boyfriend because I don't want to, but I flirt like crazy and love it! Boys flirt with me everyday and tell me Im gorgeous and hot and stuff. i love it!

My friend never had a boyfriend last year and had never kissed a boy either. By now she's had two boyfriends.

I have a third friend who never had a boyfriend. She's now involved with the guy of her dreams since four months.

This is all true. Last year we where unhappy and insecure. This year we're beautiful, we have fun and we rock the boys world. Im fifteen, my friends are sixteen.

You'll get a boyfriend when your ready.

I promise!

Lots of love ¨3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008):

Don't worry a bit! I'm 15, well just about to be and I know perfectly how you feel beacuse I've never had a boyfriend either, and I'm pretty sure I'm about the only one in my year. Some people just get boyfriends quicker, some get them slower, you're not 'unnormal' at all it's perfectly normal. Just try and maybe ask your friends to ask their bf's if they have any mates that you lot could go on a trip oput on? That way You'd have people in common and It might work! Good luck.

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A female reader, Twirly United Kingdom +, writes (19 April 2008):

Twirly agony auntAhh please don't worry, it's perfectly normal to not have had a boyfriend at 14. Why not think of dating and having fun rather than looking for a serious boyfriend, you've got many many years ahead to have serious boyfriends, so enjoy being young, free and single!

Also, think of it as simply having not met the right guy for you yet, rather than thinking of it as a negative thing. If you get asked out by a boy that you don't really fancy or want to go out with, then take it as a compliment and politely and kindly turn them down.

I remember how important and excruciaing all this stuff can be at 14 but it does get easier!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008):

i'm 16

never had a boyfriend

never been asked out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008):

Well i'm 16, i've had 2 boyfriends now but neither of them even lasted a week, and to be honest, i didnt really fancy either of them. When i was your age i was in the exact same position though. Believe me, boys will come along, but dont make the same mistake as me and say yes to ones you dont really like just to have a boyfriend.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008):

i'm 13 and the only boyfriend i've ever had was the same guy who cheeted on me with the prettiest girl in school. i try to be outgoing but it's not working i just wont the ladz to notice me i with you there. i think i'm in love now but i know it wont work out sorry i couldn't be more of help good luck. xoxo

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008):

Hey, Dont worry chick im 14 and I NEVER kissed some one before! You aint on your own =] I tryed to kiss some one b4, but I didn't have a clue what to do. It just went wrong so we stopped!! I looked on the net for some tips, no matter how much I read stuff about it, I'm still nervous!! Ive got a boyfriend now, and we've only been together for 4 days, and I won't go see him cos I'm scared to kiss him!! Its driving him away probrably, but ya know, the right time will come sooner or later.. I'm not being forced into nothing, and you shoudn't be either!!! Dont worry! I'm ready for it, I just think the same as you tho - am I gonna be sh--? What if it goes wrong? What is he gonna think of me?! Just do what feels right when your ready is what i think =]

hope this helped =]

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007):

trust me, having a boyfriend isnt all that great, its frustrating. i just got out of a relationship and i dumped him and he's still obsessed with me. everytime i walk by him to get to my locker he starts blushing. he told me that he wants nothing more than to see me happy even if it means with another guy. and this is going to really hurt him but i'm gonna tell him that he needs to move on and that hes a special guy, blah, blah, blah, and that any girl would be lucky to have him, blah, blah, blah. isnt that frustrating?! so listen to me when i tell you that having someone to hold your hand isnt special at all. so dont worry.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007):

No, you are not the only girl your age who has never had a boyfriend... actually I know exactly how you feel... I want the exact same thing you want... What's the difference? I'm 19 years old... yep 19 and what could be worse? I've never had a boy ask me out before... So I 'm sorry that I can't help you with your problem... I just hope that you my comment will put your mind at ease a bit... It's good not to have a boyfriend believe me, it makes you stronger, so not be in a rush. You can live... but it would be nice to have someone who cares about you and that you can depend on... And no I'm not a lone nut I have other friends who are single my age... but I too would like some addvice on how to snare a man... I need it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007):

No you're not the only girl in the world that has never had a boyfriend, look at me!... I'm 15 years old and im in grade 10 and i have never had one. i havent held a boys hand that i wanst forced to i have never kissed or anything ... and im 15 that suks, i understand how you feel and at least you arent the oldest girl that has never had a boyfriend...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007):

LOL!

And you're frustrated b'cuz you're 14 and you've never had a boyfriend?!?!???

Well, I'm almost 19 and I've never been in love, I've never had a boyfriend. And that's not bcuz i'm not actracted to them, SO PLEASE you have the all TIME of your time, you'll have a million of opportunities, don't you dare to waste them like I did.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007):

believe me your not the only girl thats 14 without a b-friend. im sure the guy you like right now is secretly crushing on you. to really get a b-friend you got to talk a lot expically to the guys. if you start hanging out with the boys the guy that likes you will probably get jealous and start hanging out with you and the people you hang out with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007):

hi, well i think your OVER REACTING a bit! i'm 16 almost 17 and i think and the age of 14 you shouldn't be worrying about too much! I understand how you feel cause even though i have had boyfriends i would like to have one, but most of the time i think that it's better NOT to have one than be with some one i Don't like cause it's annoying! And I understand how you feel when your friends are talking about thier boyfriends infront of you when you feel like a loser. Well i have to stand infront of my friends when they are talking about them haveing sex with thier boyfriends! they also talk about there mate leaving them cause they were bord and then my friends are broken! so YOU CAN CHOOSE! would you much rather wait longer than your friends, have a much better relationship and be happy in the end? or take one of your friends place?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007):

hey all i know how everyone feels im 18 and dont have a bf either its because they used to be really horrible to me sayin i was ugly and fat at school ive been on a diet and lost loads of weight but i still think of myself as fat and i also dont have alot of confidence in goin up to a boy/lad and talkin to them and my friends talk about their bfs all the time and im the only one left out

i really want a bf but im also scared of bein rejected and hurt

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007):

I'm 14 and i can't approach lads - i think that answer is really shit! I mean NOW! i want one too and frankly i'm not the ugliest bitch in the world! All my friends have given head or had sex and there's me with no snogging - ur not alone in the world.

My answer to you is - if a guy asked you out grab him with both hands and do whatever you need to to get it out of your system. Your lucky if you get asked out. Don't say no. If you don't like them, learn to.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2007):

will you know what they say the best apples are on top of the tree, my sister-in-law never had a boyfriend other than by brother and she was really pretty she thought that no one like her becouse she was ugly and she really wasnt, when my brother and her got married they continude to go to school and now shes is a nurse she has a house, a cute baby and she works in a hospetal you now what she told me? that she saw girls that were with her in high school with about 5 kids already!! and that they just stayed home waiting for there husbands and she found out that she broke some hearts of some peole,

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007):

Trust me you are not the only teenage girl in the world with out a Boy Friend.

im 15 and i havent had a "real" boy friend either...i like to think of it has a time to learn from your friends mistakes with thier boyfriends and then when you have one you will know what to do and what not to do. they will flock to you when your ready. every thing always falls into place soon enough...trust yourself and the guys will follow :D good luck

Kat

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007):

you are totally not alone. i feel the same exact way that you feel.but dont be sad we still have about 15 more years to find love.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006):

luv_bytes123

its okay yall you might not have bf now but you will eventually... dont be shy and flirt a lttle with some guys you like dont chnage for n e guy that you have crush on..just play hard to get but not alot and they will come to you!

if the guy makes oyu laugh alot then he might have a little crush on you.

i ahve boy problems too and i hate it but never ever get sad over a boy.theres plenty of fish in the sea

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2006):

omg! i feel exactly the same way as you because i am 14 aswell and i have never had a boyfriend and i know exactly wat it feels like cuz i really want one but im too shy i can never talk 2 anyone but the problem is tht i havent got any boy mates either and no one likes me anyway i think im ugly and fat im actually on a diet its working though so im kinda ok but im going to wait for the right time for me to have a boyfriend so i think you should wait for the right time too afterall were only 14.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006):

dear almost 14..., dont worry i am 11 and have never had a boyfriend!!!!! i would love love love to have a boyfriend but no one ever really likes me!!! and when i do like a guy he is always like o i dont like you bye!!! i get soooooo embarressed!!! one boy i do like right now , i think likes me but hasent have the nerve to say wanna go out sooo i still have hope and you should too try and try harder but remember BE YOUR SELF!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2006):

hiya im 14 too and i still dont have a boyfriend so u r not the only girl without a boyfriend my advice is that just wait for awhile the perfect guy will ask you out one day tats wat i believe i ave the same problem as you :(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2006):

hey you shouldnt be worried. if you are only still in 8th grade, thats at the age when guys are only interested in girls who dress to show a lot of skin, but have absolutly no brains at all. it is their only way of attracting guys, and they are probably scared youre too good for them. around sophomore year in high school, they'll be mature enough to realize that intellect counts more than a person who does nothing but kiss/have sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006):

Listen, I'm seventeen in September and I've never had a boyfriend either. I've barely been hugged by a guy, so don't feel alone. And in a way I'm glad, because from what I've heard they're not all they're cracked up to be at our age. Boys mature slower than girls, so don't understand our need for things like hugging etc, saying we are clingy. Enjoy being single for the moment...hugs and kisses will soon come your way I'm sure.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2006):

Listen...im 17 and have never had a boyfriend...ive never been kissed so dont complain

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A female reader, Blackpanda +, writes (6 January 2006):

Hey there, Come on..it's not the end of the world if you don't have a boyfriend. At 14 i was thinking exactly the same "No one will go out with me, why? why do the boys i fancy not like me? and why do the boys i think are just gross like me?" Lol!! All teenagers go through this at some point. Believe me a Boyfriend doesn't answer all your problems.

But i know where your coming from when your friends talk about the boyfriends they have had, and your not able to contribute to the convo. But your 14 not 40 you have so many years ahead of you to find a boyfriend.

Just remember to be yourself, don't turn into something your not to try and get a boyfriend. If you have to change who you are to get a boy, then it's not worth it!

Relax and enjoy life and remember be as nice a you can to any boy who asks you out and your not intrested.

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A female reader, Contact Carly +, writes (6 January 2006):

Contact Carly agony auntdear reader

not all people click on with a boy straight away there is someone special out there for you and i'm sure hes coming soon a survey showed that most girls lie about having boyfriends to show off in front of their friends dont rush yourself into a relationship you dont want to be in and when you see a guy you like dont hold back just go an see what he has to say you never know he could like you to

good luck

carly

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A female reader, x Chrissy x +, writes (6 January 2006):

x Chrissy x agony aunthey,

dont worry there are many girls your age who dont have boyfriends and you dont have to be afraid. i know that it is very hard for you not to have a boyfriend when all your friends do but trust me it is not the end of the world. Do not be afraid of rejection, make sure that if you are interested in a guy you boost yourself with confidence and make sure that he knows that you are confident.

Do not be afraid of dumping guys either if you dont like them you have no other choice just be diplomatic, confidence and lay it to him gently, he will get over it.

There will be a guy in your life soon so dont worry. Try taking up hobbies or going out so that you could meet new people.

Good Luck.

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A female reader, Phixiate +, writes (6 January 2006):

its ok. patience is the key. guys love women. they will come looking for you when your ready.promise.

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