A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey everyone,well here's the story my dad tried to kick me and my mum out of his house when i was 6 months old my mum fought against it and we ended up staying there until i was around 9 years old, he never had contact with me or mum after he left.about 2 months ago i put an add up on a local website asking people if he knew where he was i gave a few vauge details that i knew and he replied.i was very shocked as i've never heard from him and didnt really expect him to reply.he sent me an email..showing no sorry's no emoitions just saying that he wanted to chat with me and he gave me his mobile number.i barely know anything about him, after he sent me an email over facebook a boy slightly younger than me claiming to be my half brother, my half sister (also my dads daughter) confirms this. this boy my half brother's birthday is 01/02/91 and my birthday is 10/09/89 considering he was in a relationship with my mother until i was 6 months old i found this very dodgy.i feel that i was abandoned and left whilst my half brother had contact.he snet me a message saying he had no contact with me because he couldnt find me, yet my immediate family which he knew have always lived in the same house, and i lived in the same house that he lived in with me and my mum whilst i was a baby until i was nine, i havent moved out of the city or area either.he says in an email that he would welcome me with open arms and i'm part of the family,his emails are brief and he hasnt made much of an effort, i havent emailed him back and he hasnt bothered emailing me either.should i call him and attempt to make a relationship with him at my mum and stepdads (who is amzing) feelings on the line?or should i just except who i think he is pathetic old and alone with 3 different kids by 3 different mothersmy mum tells me that he was a bad father to my older half sister thats why she never made sure i had contact after they broke up.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (5 July 2009):
 to be honest this guy or father of yours isnt worth pursuing. if he really cared he would have made contact and looked after u. he hasnt, he sounds selfish and immature.u need to decide for urself if your father is worth it, given history i would say leave him and move on.good luck
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 I find it hard to believe that he couldn't find you all these years even though you stayed in the same area but happened to see your ad on a local website. The coincidence is hard to believe and makes me think that you might be conned by someone other then your father, brief emails don't reveal that much about the sender and he can afford not to respond for the moment because he knows you won't be able to help yourself and will ring.
If you really do need to see him send some emails asking lots of questions that he must know the answers to. Either way I agree with your last statement, he is just a pathetic old man probably trying to use his own daughter to have one more stab at his long suffering former wife.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): It sounds like your father has been a continuous disappointment and heartbreak, and unless he is willing to change and you are ready to confront him and tell him what you want from him I think it is best to leave him alone.
He has to want to change and be a good and stable father. So far he hasn't been and communication has been mixed and unsteady. If you really want a relationship, I recommend meeting him somewhere face to face to have a talk. You need to confront him about how he has made you feel, your heartache and what you want from him. If he can't give that to you he will tell you so. But no matter what, you will have some certainly about how things stand and closure.
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