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Why do men have a problem with me not being "lady like"

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 July 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2009)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Im an full time auto mechanic and I love it but this really bugs my husband for no reason. Sometimes I do little remodels on our car just for fun or cause I'm bored and I usually take off my wedding band to do so (don't want to loss it). Then my hubby gets at really annoyed with me cause I don't wear my ring. Then we start fighting about it and me coming with bigger pay check then his.

At work almost of my coworker are guys (who don't know that I'm married. I don't share things at work) who think I belong in a kitchen making dinner. They never said that to my face but I did overheard stuff like this a few times and I'm use to it. Why do some men have a problem with me not being "lady like" (as my dad puts it) cause this is getting quite sad.

View related questions: at work, co-worker, wedding

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A male reader, StudentOfLife Canada +, writes (6 July 2009):

StudentOfLife agony auntYour husband feel inferior to you because you have a bigger income than his. In "the old days" the man of the house was the one supplying the income. He might have grew up in a similar situation and feel uncomfortable/inferior because he's not completing that task well enough (It's primitive behavior based on what was common in the "Old days").

Guys feel uncomfortable at your workplace because they might feel intimidated by your work. Their mind is set in a way that they're doing a man job and a woman have no business there. It's even worse when you're better than them at what they do.

A monkey will show off his skills to the female of his choice in hope to impress her. Men are the same, they like to feel important and show off.

By doing what you do, you're more than likely be experiencing this all your life. Unless men's mindset changes (we both know that it ain't going to happen.)

So don't change what you do, live your life doing what you love and let others cry over it if they want to.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009):

Why do some men prefer sports like hiking, cycling, swimming and others prefer cooking and playing video games? Why do some men prefer taller women? Why do some men prefer Asian-ethnic women? Why do some men prefer a woman that works in a different field?

All these preferences are an intricate layering of upbringing, emotions, moods, subtle and direct influences, knowledge, perception and so on and so forth.

If you can grasp the concept of personal preference, then you may start to acknowledge that marriage is also based around a series of personal preferences. You may find that many marriages are not viable in the long run due to the personal preferences being mis-matched.

If your husband is unwilling to see pass your hobbies and career as bonuses to yourself, then you may consider that he may not be quite right for you as a husband. All things have roots and branches. All things have cause and effect. If he is more capable of expressing one ideal, then he is also capable of expressing other similar ideals.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2009):

Starlights agony auntfirst of all your an inspiration to us girls!

i wish i cud remodel my car! u show them girl!

boys see u as out of the norm thats why they have a problem, they just dont know how to deal with u.

explain to your fiance that your job prevents u from wearing the ring (for health n safety aspects). he shud understand it being the nature of your job.

people need to accept u as u are, if they dont like it they are gonna have to lump it.

good luck!

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