A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My GF broke up with me a couple months back. To make a long story short, we both began to be unhappy but it was because we thought the other was unhappy with us. I guess you could say it was simply a case of two people being very very close yet unable to communicate when they should have and leaving too many things unsaid. We're talking again but I'm finding myself in a tricky situation. By her own admission, she isn't very good at the "emotional stuff" and I think even telling me what had been bothering her took time and was uncomfortable for her. Now that it's all out in the open (for both of us) I want to ask to see her and see if we can put this behind us and find the happiness we had. But I don't know how to go about it. I've told her I don't want to make her uncomfortable or dwell on the past (a BIG issue I used to have), but it seems to me whenever we finally do meet again, we're going to have to talk about what happened and where we're going. Any suggestions about how I should go about that; call her instead? Wait until I've seen her at least once before having the "talk?" Thanks for any advice, I'm really confused on this one.
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female
reader, The Girl in the Green Scarf  +, writes (6 September 2009):
 Sadly, we cant MAKE anyone talk to us or FORCE anything out of them it just makes everything worse. SOmetimes, as hard as it is, we have to let go. Whats the worse that could happen if you just did your own thing and stopped worrying about her? Maybe you'll find that you can move on with your life and be happy, and if you find out that you cant then you can try with her one last time. Sounds to me shes already made up her mind to try and let go maybe you should to. If things are meant to work out, sometimes no contact is where it needs to start. If she wanted you she would make an effort, and shes not so i think you should do the same. Who knows what time will bring, goodluck and no matter what try and be happy :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe met 18 months ago and we were together about 11 months. Since we split (3 months ago), to my surprise she has kept in touch with me (entirely by email), though in the last month contact has been less. We've talked and I've apologized but she has been resistant to seeing me.I heard back from her. In a nutshell I think over the last 2 weeks we've shared some stuff we didn't know the other was feeling. I feel like we are THIS close to finding common ground and maybe putting all this behind us. But she is VERY resistant to have "the talk." Her last response was she hates emotional conversations and doesn't want to have them...at all. I think we should "talk" but she doesn't want to. If we avoid it, then it seems like we are just pushing issues aside and maybe that was the problem all along. The only thing I can think of would be to suggest that we not talk BUT in the future we share whenever we are upset or the situation calls for clarification. Anyone have a better suggestion (PLEASE). thanks
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A
female
reader, The Girl in the Green Scarf +, writes (6 July 2009):
Hey i actually have a question for you, How long were you two together? And in these last couple months have you guys had any contact?
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 yeah call her and make a date to hav a heart to heart.
if u set a date in mind u can both think of what u can say to each other.
good luck!
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