A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Looking for a womans advice here...I'm not in the best of shape (I'm not fat, but I ama bit above average), and I'm unemployed atm, I was wondering if I would appear more attractive to women if I got into bettr shape and landed myself a job.Is that enough to makea woman like you? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): being 16, I'd say the job is not so important right now as you're probably still in school & dating girls who are too. If you're not too big I doubt it matters if you have a little weight on you, most of us do. But when you get older the job issue is important to attract & keep a decent woman. So what you can do now to insure a good future for yourself is to get an education. Don't worry about getting some low paying job right now, get an education so that when you're an adult you can get a good job & therefore attract a good woman & later have a family & be able to support them.
A
female
reader, MonDoc  +, writes (13 September 2007):
Put it this way: when a woman wakes up in the morning, she's not thinking "gee, I hope I meet a guy today that hasn't got any drive to take care of himself."
Women want a man who will take care of himself & has the initiative to make his life the best it can be because you're certainly not going to treat us well if you can't even treat yourself well.
I can't speak for all women, but basically we somewhat subconsciously look 10 years ahead... we see a man like that & see 10 years later an oaf lazing on the couch while 3 kids are running around screaming & no money to pay the bills ... a life that's not at all enviable.
It's not that women universally find a rich man with a a rippling 6-pack attractive - what's attractive in men who have made money & have a good physique is that they make it happen. It's their drive & determination to achieve what they set out to achieve that's attractive because that says to us that he'll make a good life happen for himself & us ... and that's a life that you will envy 10 years later.
You need to be the best you that you can be. The sky's the limit & it all comes down to you!
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A
female
reader, war37  +, writes (13 September 2007):
Hi being overweight isnt what makes you unattractive its all in how you portray yourself to people,I have been overweight and slim and the times I attract people to me is when Im full of confidence.When we radiate Confidence it makes people want to be with us as we are showing off happiness ......
You say your not very overweight so get out there walk to exercise and just feel confident and go for it lifes to short to feel your not great when you are hey?xx
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A
female
reader, honestheart +, writes (13 September 2007):
As a woman i can honestly say, it doesn't matter how you look or if you have a job. Just be yourself and let your personality do the talking. Any decent girl will like you for you not what you look like or how much money you earn.
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A
female
reader, Butterflyfly +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Any man that shows he has a good degree of control over his life and that he can take good care of himself is very attractive!!!
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A
female
reader, lisa21 +, writes (13 September 2007):
Some women will say yes about the whole body issue as well as the job, you say you are not fat, so you don't need to lose weight for health issues, if you're happy with the weight you are i'd say DO NOT CHANGE, unless of course you want to do it for yourself, not to please other people.
On the job front, i have to say in my opinion i couldn't date a man who doesn't work, i have done in the past and i ended up being used, i'm not suggesting that you are like that but that is my reason for staying away from men with no jobs, just think about how much better you'd feel with regular wages, new friends and when you do meet someone you can afford to go somewhere nice and impress her.
good luck x x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Yep that would definately help, the toned body and job would in turn give you more confidence which is actually more important than physical looks. x
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (13 September 2007):
YES A properly trained body says good breading material to many women.A good income says warmth and security to many women.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Yeah. I am one of those girls who looks past all that. I don't care what job you have or how fit you are (usually, I am starting to change though). But I do care about that stuff a little bit more now (for personal reasons). I guess my parents taught me to be real "picky" about choosing men. And so I had these bf's with great education, good families, and they always cheated on me or something. And my relationships were so fake. Anyways, I went through a rebellious period where I just wanted to do everything that my parents told me not to do. So if you were unemployed, chances are I was inlove. But that didn't work out either because I ended up attracting losers who even I thought were too pathetic and I want to at least feel like I can have a baby with a guy and my future children won't be cursing me out in the future because I gave them a dead beat dad. My dad is a wonderful guy. He is a doctor. A wonderful provider. A good father. And when I look at kids who have shitty dads, I just think of myself and how lucky I am and think about how as much issues as I have, I could never do that to my children just as my mother didn't do that to me. I want them to feel proud of their father and feel like they have everything they could need available to them. So I might date a dead beat but I can't envision a future with him. So now I am trying to find a middle ground between my personal tastes and those of my parents (because in a lot of ways they are right). So I guess it is important.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (13 September 2007):
I am no woman, but i can tell you that most of them will say:OF COURSE!!!
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