A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm married to a great man he works hard for us but things havent been going well for a while i feel the love has gone out of our relationship. He's quite a bit older than me but his brother makes me feel really special he's made a few passes at me and things nearly happened but i stopped them but i think i'm in love with him now! he goes really weird after he says things or makes a pass at me which leaves me feeling awful about myself! but i cant get him out of my head and its really upsetting me what to do about it! My husband and i have no kids yet but our sexlife is nearly non existent anytime i try he says no! i really cant take much more of this and dont know what to do anymore! my friends have said my bro in law is just using me as he knows about our marriage problems but i dont know what to think! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous  +, writes (12 September 2007):
Eeverybody that has answered this so far holds a piece of the puzzle. They're all right and so are your friends.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): Are you telling us you are in love with this brother, simply....because he made a few passes at you? What is wrong with you, hun? And your non exsistence sex life, unhappy marriage is to blame for what you are doing or feeling. Your behavior and how you are dealing with your despair is grossly inappropriate. It is not the thoughts and feelings of a woman who is thinking clearly and maturely. The point needs to be made that before you even put yourself into this compromising situation with brother in law, you think about the vows you made to your husband. All I have to state about this is: With maturity, committment, communication, people learn to make the best out of life's challenges. You and your hubby need help and fast. Because the way this marriage is headed, you are simply being weak and looking for ways to feel better rather than make things better. You cannot possibly be in love with this brother. I don't buy that, unless your neediness and emotional problems have consumed you to the point where you think a few flirting passes, means "whoopie--let's have an affair!' That's silly isn't it. What kind of man is this brother to be taking advantage of his brother's wife, when there clearly is marital strife. Talk about stabbing his brother in the back. No matter how you spin it...it's a self-involved thing to doand it's wrong. Look for some counseling,first for you. You have emotional problems, that need tending to. Then when you regain back your strength and integrity as a woman and a wife..get in marriage counseling with hubby and get that brother out of your lives.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (12 September 2007):
 Well, well....you brother in law has no integrity and yours is in as good of shape as his. OF all the people in the world you chose to fool around with....waht a disgrace.
Either work on the marriage or get out of it. Plain and simple.
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (11 September 2007):
 I think the attraction to your brother-in-law is the whole 'forbidden fruit' thing; you want it because it's not supposed to happen - which is why he's stuck in your head.
As for your husband, you need to talk to him. Don't pack in the towel and run off with his brother, it'll mess this "great man" right up!
Hope everything works out for the best. x
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