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In am in love with this girl. How can I win her heart? She has cheated on me so many times

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Crushes, Dating, Family, Health, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 October 2012) 11 Answers - (Newest, 4 October 2012)
A male United States age 30-35, *ooney writes:

Hi My Name is E,so there is this girl. She's Beautiful and we met right after the day of my birthday and we got together.

We was in an on and off relationship.

So anyways we got back together and we stayed together but then we broke up.

i wanted to be single but i didnt tell her that.

so i called her so i could get back with her, maybe?

We talked things over but she told me she didnt want to talk to me. So i found out she's with this other guy. He doesn't even treat her right,and they broke up 3 times in a row and i waited for her everytime they broke up.

She would get my hopes up so then they finaly broke up for real. She and I started talking for like a month or so and i told her my feelings.

She told me about this guy she met . so she gets with him and leaves me sad.

so they stay together for a month and break up so now its been 10 months.

Me single and 4 months her single and i want her back

Recently we have been really talking a lot lately but i just found out last week she made out with a new guy.

i was so sad i started crying and she said it just happened and i still want her back .

so can you all give me advice please i really want this girl .

View related questions: broke up, cheated on me, got back together

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012):

"By the way shes sent me signs that she still wants me as her boyfriend"

No, she wants to mess you around some more in between the other guys she's seeing.

Of course she's going to act like she likes you to your face, because she knows how much you like her. Users are like this. Then they go and tell their friends what they REALLY feel about you. Stop making a fool of yourself, and kick her out of your life. You've already been hurt by her how many times? What makes you think this time will be any different? You're so into her that you assume she feels the same way. She doesn't. You HAVE to move on, you have no choice in the matter.

As for not getting a girl because you're "ugly", that's not at all why you can't get a girl.

What's keeping you from getting a girl is your lack of self confidence, and also paying all your attention to her only. How are you gonna find a girl who wants you when you're too busy chasing one that doesn't want you? Let me tell you something, if I saw a guy constantly get his heart broken because he's determined to be with one particular girl, I would completely ignore him if he talked to me. Know why? Because I'd feel he is just settling for me because he can't have her. I'm willing to bet plenty of other girls have seen the way you get messed around by her, and they don't want any part of it. They don't wanna feel second best.

Anyway, stop thinking she must be a good person because she's "so beautiful". She's just your typical user. She will only continue to prove this to you if you keep letting her.

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (3 October 2012):

She doesnt want you my friend, and you are going to live to regret the fool you are making of yourself in your pursuit of her....

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (3 October 2012):

SensitiveBloke agony auntShe's giving you pretty clear signs that she does NOT want to be your girlfriend by the fact she's been getting together with other blokes.

Get the idea right out of your head that you're too ugly to ever get another girlfriend. You've had one before so it proves you are wrong to think like this. You need to be content with who you are, then others will be too.

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A male reader, Looney United States +, writes (3 October 2012):

Looney is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yes And im not the best looking Guy either, and if i move on ill never find a girl cause no girl likes me anyway. and plus this girl goes to my college i see her everyday.Please Help And By the way shes sent me signs that she still wants me as her boyfriend but what do i do.and ill never find a girl cause im ugly

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2012):

Why do you want this girl so bad? You mentioned she's beautiful, but you said nothing about her personality.

This tells me you need to get your priorities straight. Stop chasing women based on looks only. You will only get hurt, and you are finding this out the hard way. I've met plenty of these type of women, and they don't change. They purposely play with guys like you, and talk about how pathetic you are to their friends. I guarantee this girl is no different. She has no respect for you, and even less for herself. Is this what you really want?

Move on. A lot of her "beauty" is probably artificial, anyway. Makeup, artificial tan, hair dye, extensions done so well you can't tell at all, a lot of stuff you are probably clueless about.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012):

Why do you want to be with someone who has proven time and time again she's unfaithful?

She would only cheat on you. In a way, you're lucky she isn't interested in you because she will destroy you with her prone infidelity.

I say just count your lucky stars and cut your losses with this girl, she's not good for you.

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (2 October 2012):

This girl only sees you as a friend and that is all you will ever be. Stop talking to her as I am sure she is not a good friend as well. It's time to move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2012):

OP this girl is the epitome of bad news, she doesn't even know who or where she is by the sounds of things and is an absolute nutcase. On/off with everyone including you, sleeping around with lots of different lads, not talking to you then getting your hopes up.

There is nothing about her worth any of the pain and she will never, ever be yours OP, she's made that very clear.

Walk away and get over her, it's hard but it has to be done.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (2 October 2012):

kenny agony auntI know its hard but you really need to forget this girl and move on. She is just causing you a whole load of heartache and you could do so much better than this. I know it does not seem like it right now, but i can assure you that things will get better, time is the healer of all things. Forget this girl, go out and do stuff to help you forget this girl. Sooner or later you will meet a lovely girl that completely bowls you over, and you will look back on this and wonder why you wasted so much time on this girl.

Good luck

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (2 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntshe's nothing but heartbreak for you sweetie...

she does not care about you the way you care about her or the way you want her to care about you.

I think it's best if you move on... the best thing for you for that is to go no contact... it hurts at first worse than dribbles of her being with you but in the long run it's going to be easier.. hard to see and understand now but it's true. I'm sorry.

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (2 October 2012):

SensitiveBloke agony auntShe's just not interested in you. It's hard, but you need to accept it and move on.

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