A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a new relationship (2 months) with a guy and like a fool, I fell in love with him. The funny thing is that my boyfriend fell just as quick. We were happy and enjoyed each others company. We're still getting to know each other and spend 1-2 days a week together. I have to tell you I have never experienced the feelings that I have with him. I'm 32 and he's 42 divorced no children. I've never been married, no kids. Out of the blue, he said he needs to think. He also said he misses me and is sorry for pushing me away. I don't know what he needs to think about. Every thing he has ever said to me is that he can't believe how strong his feelings are for me since he's never felt this way before. So to hear he needs to think when everything else he has ever said to me is that he wants to be with me makes no sense to me. I have tried to think if there was something in particular that was said or done, but honestly, I just can't think of a thing. He also said he doesn't want me to think that I did something wrong because I didn't. I don't know if this is all BS. But my heart is breaking. I don't know if I should wait for him while he thinks or just be thankful I found out now that he has commitment issues. But I really don't know what he's even thinking about.
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Maybe the intensity of his feelings has frightened him a bit. Just give him space to work out what he wants, there is nothing else you can do really. If you push him you could push him further away.
My sister met a bloke and had the same thing, they both fell hard and quick for each other and then he did the I need to think thing. She was devastated but gave him the space and he came back to her, it was because he was recently divorced and hadnt been looking for a relationship and was overwhelmed by the feelings he had for her. Two years later they are still together and planning to marry next year.
A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (30 July 2008):
 You can't put your life on hold because of his "thinking".
You should carry on living your life. Personally, I think he is being slightly selfish; though he could be worried or nervous; perhaps his divorce was stressful and he is thinking about whether he can trust someone again. Or maybe it is a load of BS.
One thing is certain though; he can't just leave you pissing in the wind while he "thinks", you need to ask him what he is thinking, and what he is thinking of! You need to sort this out sooner rather than later.
Life is too short to wait around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): Well, I don't think you should flush him away, I do think you should give him his space. And while you are giving him his space, go out and live life to the fullest. True, he just may be scared, but he is at a age where he should be mature enough to not throw the best thing in his life away. Try to keep a open mind, but also keep a firm backbone, and make him tell you what is going on in his mind. Best of luck sugar Booger!!
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