A
male
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:i'm 14 and i really feel the need of having sex with my girlfriend (she's 15), though i'm not sure she would want to (they say boys want it more than girls do)...but i really do. i really really love her and its been about a year since we started dating. should i ask her for it? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008): When I was 15 years old and my girlfriend was 14 she wanted to have sex with me...I told her that we should wait, it was hard but it was worth it I'm now 19 and I'm glad we waited it's so much better now =)
A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (31 July 2008):
 I do think that couples should start having sex when they feel loved and secure, but I really think that you shouldn't.
I don't want to judge you, but you have to be aware that you're just a kid barely becoming an adult. You're still too young and you probably haven't experienced that much about life.
Yes, you may think you're ready and that she may too, but do you think this way because you just WANT to have sex? Being ready does not mean that you have the urges to engage in it, but to be prepared for the consequences that come along with it. For one, is the chances of pregnancy. A baby is not a little thing to play with, it's also sleepless nights, stress over how to raise it and paying bills and food, stress on how to keep on going to school, stress if your family will help you, stress on how to get money. Not also forgetting the viral deseases. Also comes the psychological and emmotional stress that affects those who weren't truely ready for it.
You really don't have to rush this. I really REALLY assure you that if you wait a little longer (preferable until you're legal of conscent) and that when you truely feel comfortable with each other, that sex would feel just better. Sex is not only a carnal connection, but an emmotional and psychological connection that most often will make two people closer, but only when those people share a mental connection before the event.
Also, waiting for her will prove to her that you really love her and that you're not with her just for the physical pleasure. Also, if you ask her to have sex when she's not ready, this will make her feel the pressure to have sex and would probably make her regret her actions.
But for now, try to investigate about sex a bit more. Try to understand what are the consequences of starting sex and also the positive things you will get from it. Learn about it and by the time you actually decide to have sex, you will be sure of what to do.
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A
female
reader, babewithbrains  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Sorry - but i think you know the answer to this.1) Its illegal.2) You are not ready because you are thinking she isn't3) You worry too much4) Its illegal.Point proven.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa + ♥, writes (30 July 2008):
 First of all, it would be illegal. The reason it makes sense for it to be illegal is that during puberty (which happens at your age) hormones are raging and clouding your judgement of relationships and love.
Because your sexual organs are developing into fully functioning breeding tools, your body wants sex. Girls experience this too, but look more for the security and stability offered by a loving and committed relationship...
Can you see where you clash?
It's best to wait till your hormones settle and you are both old enough to seek advice on things like contraception. Remember that sex can mean having children of your own and using condoms or even her going on the pill won't insure she won't get pregnant!
Could you really cope with raising your own family, now?
I suggest you make the most of having fun together, hug, kiss and build your friendship.
When you're both ready, you might want to try making love by using your hands and mouth, but stir clear of actual intercourse for a while.
God bless and good luck!
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A
male
reader, saltwater + ♥, writes (30 July 2008):
 It's natural for you to really want sex; you are a teenage lad after all. But you should wait. You're both underage, and while I am sure that you do love her, in the end you are both children; with childrens bodies.Your bodies are not fully developed for sex yet.Wait till your both older and legal. It will be more enjoyable then.
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