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I'm 14, should I suggest to my girlfriend that we have sex?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 12 February 2009)
A male United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

i'm 14 and i really feel the need of having sex with my girlfriend (she's 15), though i'm not sure she would want to (they say boys want it more than girls do)...but i really do. i really really love her and its been about a year since we started dating. should i ask her for it?

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A male reader, dannabo United States +, writes (12 February 2009):

dannabo agony auntI wish thta I could speak to every teen in America who "thinks" they are ready for sex. Actually, it is your body that is ready. Listen, I was 20 years old and had my first sex on my wedding night. Of course we both had wanted it many time while dating but we respected one anthers wishes and waited. On our wedding night when I climaxed inside my wife it was the most intense experience I ever had. I had masturbated hundreds of times but this was a billion times more exciting. I am now 60 and still remember as if it was yesterday. Our sex is great after 41 years of marriage.

Take my advice, masturbate and wait.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008):

When I was 15 years old and my girlfriend was 14 she wanted to have sex with me...I told her that we should wait, it was hard but it was worth it I'm now 19 and I'm glad we waited it's so much better now =)

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (31 July 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntI do think that couples should start having sex when they feel loved and secure, but I really think that you shouldn't.

I don't want to judge you, but you have to be aware that you're just a kid barely becoming an adult. You're still too young and you probably haven't experienced that much about life.

Yes, you may think you're ready and that she may too, but do you think this way because you just WANT to have sex? Being ready does not mean that you have the urges to engage in it, but to be prepared for the consequences that come along with it. For one, is the chances of pregnancy. A baby is not a little thing to play with, it's also sleepless nights, stress over how to raise it and paying bills and food, stress on how to keep on going to school, stress if your family will help you, stress on how to get money. Not also forgetting the viral deseases. Also comes the psychological and emmotional stress that affects those who weren't truely ready for it.

You really don't have to rush this. I really REALLY assure you that if you wait a little longer (preferable until you're legal of conscent) and that when you truely feel comfortable with each other, that sex would feel just better. Sex is not only a carnal connection, but an emmotional and psychological connection that most often will make two people closer, but only when those people share a mental connection before the event.

Also, waiting for her will prove to her that you really love her and that you're not with her just for the physical pleasure. Also, if you ask her to have sex when she's not ready, this will make her feel the pressure to have sex and would probably make her regret her actions.

But for now, try to investigate about sex a bit more. Try to understand what are the consequences of starting sex and also the positive things you will get from it. Learn about it and by the time you actually decide to have sex, you will be sure of what to do.

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A female reader, babewithbrains United Kingdom +, writes (30 July 2008):

babewithbrains agony auntSorry - but i think you know the answer to this.

1) Its illegal.

2) You are not ready because you are thinking she isn't

3) You worry too much

4) Its illegal.

Point proven.

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A male reader, saltwater United Kingdom +, writes (30 July 2008):

saltwater agony auntIt's natural for you to really want sex; you are a teenage lad after all.

But you should wait. You're both underage, and while I am sure that you do love her, in the end you are both children; with childrens bodies.

Your bodies are not fully developed for sex yet.

Wait till your both older and legal. It will be more enjoyable then.

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