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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've never had too much interest in friends at any point in my life, or guys, and have only had one person I'd term as a close friend and two boyfriends. Long story short, the friend is disappearing for long periods of time (think in terms of months or at the longest a year) and my boyfriend recently ditched me without even the decency to say he didn't want to be involved with me anymore. Now add in issues with my parents: I graduated from high school about a year ago and still haven't managed to get a driver's license (flunked the test several times). Since I live in a rural area, there are no buses or means of public transportation here, and due to the explanation regarding my social life or lack thereof asking someone to drive me around is out, so no driver's license equals no job. I'm constantly getting nagged and belittled for that. Suffice to say I'm sick of feeling like garbage, so does anyone have any tips for gaining enough independence to at least put the family issues to rest? There's nothing that can be done about my ex-boyfriend or former friend and I don't particularly care to be chasing after new ones, so I'm not even going to ask about that.
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male
reader, saltwater  +, writes (21 July 2008):
 Well life is all about risks...and by the sounds of it you're going to have to take one.
Short of a business moving next to your house, you will never get a job in the rural area.
I'm sure that there must be public transport somewhere close to where you live, but if there genuinely isn't then you need to take a risk.
Emily is right, you need to find a flat close to a place of work...because it seems obvious from what you write that you are going to have to move out.
Yeah, it's a big step...but who wants to live with their parents for the rest of their life?
That said, perhaps don't go too far wide; it's amazing how living with your parents full time for close to 20 years does your head in, but when you move out and hardly ever see them, it's ironic how good it feels to see them now & again....in other words if you move out your view of your parents will likely change -- it sure did for me!
Good luck
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 July 2008):
Well all you need is enough cash for a deposit and a contract for a job.Apply for jobs far and wide, in towns, in areas where you can rent fairly near by. When you get the job tell them you need a couple of weeks to move house, and start hunting for a flat, a house or even a room to rent.You don't need a drivers license if you live in a city as you can walk / get buses etc.Move out and then your parents won't be about to criticize you and you can find new friends and live happily ever after.Good Luck!! xx
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