A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 21 years old and might me pregnant with my boyfriend of 1 year's baby. I told him there is a chance. I am going to the doctors today to find out. He said that he hopes it is not that. He hopes that it is something completely different but non worrisome. He said that he just cant afford the expenses right now. I guess I am a bit iffy myself, I mean babies are wonderful but for some reason I cant imagine myself having one right now. In all those mom's opinions out there, what are the expenses for a child for lets say the first year? And Can any one really describe to me the feeling of labor? I am just having so many mixed feelings right now. Because I know that if I am , I will want to have the baby, but also be very scared to, and I dont think that my guy wants me to have it. Please I would just like some advise from all you parents out there on what I should do. Also, I little backround. My guy is 20. I have been on the pill for a little over a year, but have been sick with tonsillitis, so I have been taking antibiotics which decreases the effectiveness of it. Which was something I didnt know and neither did he.
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female
reader, rockelle +, writes (28 September 2007):
 Everyone has a different account of labor. Mines was fairly easy four hours, some intense pain in the end, a few pushes , no epidural and I was a mom. The best decision I have ever made in my life. I was 20 my long time boyfriend wasn't ready. All the odds were against me. But I worked HARD. I had a very supportive family that has helped me in so many ways emotionally, physically, and mentally. But ultimately I made it. I own my own home my son is six years old, he attends a great school, and I have a great job. That long-time boyfriend is now my husband he realized after a few years that I was right. So it can be done, it just takes a lot of work. Your life will never be the same again. So go to the Dr. and find out and sit down and think about what you want. Do what is best for you. Because at the end of the day if that man walks away that little person expects you to be there to meet all of his/her needs. I hope all goes well for you. And if you are not pregnant, whewww what a scare.
Good Luck !
XXXXXX
A
female
reader, sweetlilpeachx69 +, writes (28 September 2007):
when i found out i was pregnant it was scary too ! my son is 1 now and honestly the labor pain wasnt that bad but i did have a epidural the scariest part was hearin the nurses say his heart rate is dropping !!! i ended up havein a c- section and if you are pregnant look at the postive side of everything .. i was like you i thought i wasnt cut out to be a mom and now i dont know what i would do with out my sweet son. and if u have to have a c keep moving i know you may be sore afterwards but it will help you out sooo much ..
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A
female
reader, ncjones  +, writes (28 September 2007):
i really understand how you feel, i was 18 when i fell pregnant only with my b/f for 3months and he was just going through a divorce, he didn't want children at that time and neither did i, but like you i was on the pill as well and had antibiotics sorry to tell you but i fell pregnant that way. i was living on my own in this horrible flat the smell of it made my sickness worse, my mum wasn't talking to me much, my b/f had a break down, the timing couldn't of been worse and then there was money, during my partners breakdown he was in and out of work so mooney was extremaly tight, i used to cry myself to sleep have constant arguments i didn't see a way out but it has all worked out for the best now i have a beautifull 4year old daughter and a stunning 2year old son, i couldn't of been given a better miricle then my 2 children, i live for them work for them you always find that that you do have money as you will put them before yourself and my boyfriend is in a full time job making the money for us and we have a four b/room house now ready for more little ones ha ha, and labour is different for everyone and every pregnancy, i found it really easy with my second i din't have to have any pain killers not even gas and air but my first was completely different my waters went and i went to the hospital onlt to find out she was breech they booked me down to sergery only for my labour to go really quickly i ended up being fully dilated within the hr so i was rushed for a emegency section, but i can always remember waking up and holding her in my arms like it was yesterday the best day of my life becoming a mother good luck hope everything goes well for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007): Hiya.First thing you need to think about is if you are pregnant and you do decide to have the baby, will your partner be around or will this be something that you are taking on yourself?
The cost of a child is endless, its hard to say whether the first year is the worst or the best money wise as there are lots of things that you need but you also tend to get alot more help from those around you. You have to look to the future realistically, don't forget this baby isnt just for a year, for the rest of your life you will have someone that will need you to be there for them no matter whats going on in your own life. Financially (at least for the first 18 years) and emotionally, always.
Your bound to have mixed feelings because if you are pregnant then you have been presented with a choice. Just remember how big this choice is. Life as you know it ends.
Labour - well how many times have you heard people say you forget the pain once the baby is given to you? To an extent this is true, labour for everyone is different as there can be so many difficulties that can occur.
I had a difficult delivery with my second daughter and the pain was horrendous! Infact for a few months after she was born I couldnt talk about the delivery because it made me feel sick. I have a high pain threashold and I still had to give in to drugs to help with the pain.
I dont want you to think that I am trying to frighten you but that is the truth about my experience. Its both frightening and beautiful.
I have to say that your boyfriends reaction doesnt fill me with confidence in him sticking around long.A year together is not a great deal of time and it is such a big ask for a man of his age.
Anyway, let me know how you get on x
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