A
female
age
51-59,
*selihlongwa
writes:my husband of 4 years had a secret mail friend for 2 months, they were sending each other text message on the phone and talking almost every day for that period, he says she is just a friend and nothing else, i feel very betrayed co i found out because i saw a message she had sent to him is this the same as cheating
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): i have recently been in the same situation an he was more of an acquaintance than friend,but due to my boyfriends insecurities and obssesion it got him paranoid and added more and more things that hadnt even took place,ie meals out,meeting parents etc,were now seperated an he as realised how wrong he was,so be 100% sure of the facts before steaming in with guns blazing as your sure to lose your partner due to paranoia
A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 I am a strong beleiver that there is no room for secrets in a marriage. If he is communicating with this women behind your back, then more than likely something inappropriate is going on. He may not be cheating physically, but emotionally, physically is another story. I think that the phone calls and texts messages are the gateway to cheating. Very often it doesn't stop there after the all the talking and texting is done it may go further that is why I would never allow my husband to do it. So if I were you I would sit him down and have a discussion about it. If she is truly a friend he should have no problem with being out in the open with it, or even introducing her to you for that matter.
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A
male
reader, Roberto20 +, writes (14 December 2007):
Well i dont know if i could help but i had the same problem with my gf of 4 years and i found out she was texting this guy and they would call each other sweety and i miss you i went up to her about it and she said it was a friend of her mom's that the guy was 42 and that she havent done anithingi. told her to think about it and she came to me with she would like to see what eals the world has to over so we broke up. so texting behind the person you love is not the right thing to do
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