A
male
age
30-35,
*k06
writes:I was at one of my fraternity parties, and I met a girl on the dance floor. I was incredibly drunk, so I was super-friendly. We hit it off fast, and started making out. She pulled me into a darker room, and was throwing her leg up on me, and grabbing my butt, and all kinds of things.I took her to the next room over, which had a lock. Her friends were knocking on it, saying "Come out,(her name)" When I said her friends wanted her, she said they werent her friends.She undressed me and put on a condom. We stopped half way through sex and she said, (from what I can remember) "We have to stop, I cant believe I am doing this, I've never done this, ever. I got blood on the bed." I stopped, because I am not the type not to, and I felt bad because she felt bad. She and her friend left, and her friend called me a jackass. I sent her a letter saying that I was sorry, and didnt know that she was a virgin, but she hasnt replied.Her friends seem really pissed off, and act like I am some asshole. Am I one? She initiated everything.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): there's nothing to be sorry about. Her friend who called you an asshole was being protective of her friend without knowing any facts (also nosy and a buttinsky).Due to PC male hating and woman infantilizing social practices these days, even this situation could land the guy in trouble.It is extremely unfair, but you must be aware.
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (6 December 2007):
Stop blaming yourself too much.She was drunk and seduced you.In my opinion,she knew exactly what she was doing.No drunk girl would put a condom on a penis properly.She really wanted to have sex with you,vigin or not.So don't feel bad.So what if she's a virgin?Does that mean you wouldn't have stopped if she weren't?It seems you are more worried that she's a virgin than the fact that you were seduced into having sex.Be more careful next time.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, imnotcircumsized +, writes (6 December 2007):
 As long as you stopped when she asked and weren't like "wtf, mate?" and made her feel like she had to do anything, then I don't see why you should be blamed. I mean, if she put the condom on, she must have known what the hell she was doing, right? But... was she extremely intoxicated, maybe, and made a mistake? However, mistakes are made. She shouldn't have been pulling out condoms and humping your leg if she wasn't trying to have sex. I mean, I've had a lot of foreplay that I myself even (but very rarely) initiated and ended without sex because I said "ENOUGH" before it was too late. She wouldn't have put a condom on you (herself) if she didn't want the cock, damnit.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): You didn't do anything wrong, although it's still your position to get the blame because you're male.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Hi,
dont beat yourself up here mate. You did nothing wrong, you were at a party , met a girl, and got busy with her. Anyone who judges you on that is a hypocrite.
And the key thing is , when she asked you to stop you did.
She can count her lucky stars that she didnt pick up a selfish frat boy type who would use her as a sex toy.
You've written your letter, you have nothing to be ashamed of or worried about. You both made a choice, she regretted hers, its up to her to deal with it. You can only do so much.
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (5 December 2007):
 No, I wouldn't consider you an asshole. But what you did put you in a compromising position. This girl could have gotten you into so much trouble by accusing you of rape, her freinds where banging on the door. If I were you I would be sh***** my pants. You apologized to her so I think that was very big of you, we all do crazy things and more than likely she had too much to drink herself. I hope that she has learned a lesson from this because she also put herself in a very dangerous position. This is mostly her fault.
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A
male
reader, bct0025 +, writes (5 December 2007):
You shouldn't feel bad man. The girl initiated everything. You did the right thing, you stopped and you said you were sorry. There is nothing else you can do. Let it go.
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