A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please he doesn't want to have sex w/ me anymore. I am about a size 14-16 and work out frequently, keep my hair and nails done and legs shaved, lol! He is good to me but since we became engaged he avoids any situation that might turn sexual. I have ask him what I've done to turn him off or if there is something I need to change. He told me that he didn't want sex to get in the way of our relationship. Huh? Anyway it is killing me; I am afraid something is wrong w/ me. He is about 40, I am 37. We both have good jobs and do not live together yet. Sex before wasn't often but at least we had it! I am not willing to end the relationship over it but it is killing me. Any advise is greatly appreciated and thank you for your time!
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female
reader, lovelyeyes +, writes (25 March 2011):
I don't think something is wrong w/u. He pretty much proposed while u were this size. Btw I'm the same size :). He should be adoring u right now your his fiance. What's gonna happen when u guys get married and have kids. if he can't handle it now. Then I think your gonna become miserable when u guys get married. I've never heard of a calm sex life getting in the way of a relationship. U need to find out more before u get married.
A
female
reader, lovelyeyes +, writes (25 March 2011):
I don't think something is wrong w/u. He pretty much proposed while u were this size. Btw I'm the same size :). He should be adoring u right now your his fiance. What's gonna happen when u guys get married and have kids. if he can't handle it now. Then I think your gonna become miserable when u guys get married. I've never heard of a calm sex life getting in the way of a relationship. U need to find out more before u get married.
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A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 As others have already said, he's leaving something out. This is almost certainly an issue with him and not an issue with you.You sound like an attractive, intelligent woman and you should not get down on yourself for the lack of sex in the relationship. You are trying and he is pushing you away. there is definitely something else going on and if he isn't willing to talk about it, I would suggest that you reconsider marrying him.Personally, I don't think the lack of sex is as serious an issue as his lack of disclosure. If he's unwilling to work through an issue that he has in a relationship, then that doesn't bode well for any future issues the two of you might run into. It's important to be willing to discuss any concerns you may have in a relationship. It's one of the most powerful ways to build intimacy.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 March 2011):
 There's something he's not saying here. I don't know what it is, but something has changed. Before you go forward with the marriage, you should find out the real reason. You're right, suddenly avoiding sex after getting engaged makes no sense. Something's up. I'm wondering if he did something weird and wanted to assuage his guilt by asking you to marry him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Do you think it could be because he wants to know that both of you get along just as good without sex as you do with it...maybe making sure your relationship isnt just sexual and that you can actually grow old together and have lovely conversations?I dont know thats kinda strange...especially since you said it wasnt often anyway.Guys are weird!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): this is a huge problem sweetie . i agree with the other person here . he is not being honest and that is not a good start at all in a relationship . have to get to the bottom and if i was you . i would say we need to talk and if he cant give you a straight explantion i would take a break for a while and see what happens this worse than just dating someone because if you were just dating someone its easier to just break up . because if someone is not being truthful it will get worse as the relationship goes on . to the point you stop trusting him . all together . and i sure you dont want to be woried about if you can trust someone or not .not really fun to live that way .
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Has he gotten cold feet? This is weird. He's been having sex with you, then got engaged, and now there's no sex because he doesn't want it in the way of the relationship? Have you even had a discussion about this or has he just decided over your head that there will be no sex? Who proposed? Was it him? He is not telling you the full truth here. He doesn't sound like he's talking to you much at all, he just stopped having sex offering no explanation. Make it clear that a relationship is between TWO people, so he doesn't get to make all the calls that concern the two of you. You also get a say in it. If he wants to not have sex any longer he needs to run that by you, talk about it, and then come to an agreement. In the worst case scenario, if he doesn't want more sex it can lead to the end of the relationship. Talk to him. Don't give up until you get to the bottom if this.
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